pentaqola wrote:
I WISH I COULD TYPE ALL OF THIS NOT IN CAPS, BUT I JUST WANT TO SAY SORRY. SORRY FOR WHAT I HAVE DONE. I PROBABLY MADE YOU REALLY FRUSTRATED.
...IT'S ALRIGHT.
IT WAS A MATTER OF COMPOUNDING MISFORTUNE. I WAS PLANNING TO POST RIGHT AFTER YOU, WITH THE JOKE IN MIND, LAUGHING LIKE AN IDIOT AT HOW NICE IT'D BE TO POST A DUMB LEWD JOKE LIKE "HE JUMPED MY BONES!" FOR THAT MOMENT, BUT AS I HAD TO WAIT OVER AND OVER AGAIN, IT GOT INCREASINGLY FRUSTRATING.
THE MAIN BULK STARTED WHEN WESTONINI POSTED AT AROUND 42 MINUTES. I WAS ABOUT TO POST AT THE EXACT TIME UNTIL I CLICKED "PREVIEW".
IF THERE'S ANYTHING YOU'D BE RESPONSIBLE FOR, IT'S SOMETHING I DON'T SEE AS A BIG DEAL, REALLY.
HONESTLY, I WAS KINDA BOTHERED AS IT SEEMED YOU WERE RUBBING IN THE SALT AT MY IRRITATED FLESH IN THE MULTITUDE OF POSTS AROUND FG AND OT AFTER WESTONINI'S POST IN TN.
AS YOU SEE, IF I'M ANGRY, I'LL SHUT DOWN EMOTIONALLY AND MENTALLY, AND KINDA JUST WIND UP EXHAUSTED. I HAD TO TAKE A SECOND BEFORE REALIZING HOW PETTY THAT SHIT WAS.
I'M BACK IN IT. FUCK ME OVER AGAIN IF YOU'D WANT, I'M GOING TO TRY AND GET PAST IT.
THERE'S ALSO SOMETHING ELSE. IT'S BEEN A RESULT OF THE ENTIRETY OF FEBRUARY.
I HOLD A LOT OF SELF-CONTEMPT. WHILE I TOOK A MINUTE TO THINK ABOUT THE SHIT AT TN, I REALIZED MAYBE IT'S THE SEETHING SELF-HATRED BOILING OVER AND EXPLODING, WITH THAT ONE OPENING TEAR IN MY METAPHORICAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL WALL.
I'M NOT DOING TOO GREAT. BUT I'M GOING TO GET THROUGH THIS SHIT. IT DOESN'T HAVE TO DO WITH OT, FG, OR EVEN TN, BUT THE STRESS FROM JUST LIVING HERE IN GENERAL.
...EGH. HOPEFULLY IT CLEARS THINGS UP.
(I ALSO WISHED I DIDN'T HAVE TO USE CAPS HERE.)
