I hate picking shit like "the worst game evar" or "the greatest motherfucking CoD evar".
So here's aran five and I bet I'll remember some more shit in ten minutes that will make this list completely outdated.
5. The Thing.
Oh you motherfuckers why are you doing this to me hnnrgh. I know, games licensed off of movies are more often than not shit, but I couldn’t help getting excited about this because hey ! How could they fuck this up !
Well they found a way. Between awkward controls, stiff characters and boring enemies, you had to work against bugs and tedious fuse box "puzzles". Not to mention the horribly strained story.
4. The X-Files (Game).
I so wanted to love this. It's a fucking x-files game, how could you not succeed. Oh, it's a full motion video title on seven disks. Ok cool, I played Myst : Riven. While the game does offer… nnnnsome entertainment (mostly by being a prick to everyone), it quickly bogs down in "try everything on everything" and "sit there and watch". Some if not most of the acting is outright hilariously bad, I'm getting the feeling neither David Duchovny nor Gillian Anderson was particularly excited about acting for this thing. Another grand fault is that you only have one way to go in some moments of the game, while I do like linear, this takes it to the extreme. You more or less need to memorize the path you need to take in certain places through brute force trial and error until you get it right. Nice atmosphere though.
Oh and by all the neutron stars, can't you come up with a better title than "The X-Files Game" ?
3. Bible Adventures.
Sighsighsighsighsighsighsighsighsighsighsighsighsighsighsighsighsighsighsighsighsigh.
2. Castlevania (Nintendo 64).
Why. Bad controls, bad camera. Horrible 3D, alright it was early 3D but it was still horrible to look at and poorly animated. How aim whip in 3D ? Maybe it's just that I prefer Castlevania in the 2D sidescrolling fashion, but oh gigahertz.
1. Two Worlds.
I know this isn't an old game either, but I think it more than qualifies. I don't know what it is, it just bores me to death. I've tried playing it about ten times now and I have yet to complete more than two quests. There is just something about the game that makes it utterly unplayable, not even for laughs. The horse controls like a drunkard, a drunkard on speed when you try to gallop. The graphics aren't really that bad, not really that good either, just really uninspiring. Voice acting is… okay, I guess. Sounds is pretty nice, gameplay not horribly broken.
It just falls into that category of games that are just so generic that they cease to exist. Two Worlds feels like a chore to play, I think that's what I'm aiming for, a game should never feel like a chore. Nothing redeems this title. The X series (X : Beyond the frontier – X2 : The threat – X3 : The Reunion) may be tedious to play, but it never feels that way. Where those games shine, this title fails and is quickly forgotten.