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Officer, I Can Explain!

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Total Posts
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Kyno
102 posts
Joined July 2013
Kyno
officer, my friend is just getting a ride since he had too many drinks. What? Dead? No, hes just farked up. This book? Why, that's just a... a... a play I wrote! Yes yes "how to fool cops". I like how Islamic music is officer. Why? is it that I don't have freedom to pick what music I want?


1 - thousands of dollars in a case
2 - strange large duffel bag with the mayor's head sticking out
3 - multiple bags of fake I.D's
izzydemon
1,382 posts
Joined April 2013
izzydemon
officer, these thousands of dollars are what i got from selling everything but the head of this statue of the mayor. no, no, it's totally a statue; i even have the ID of the guy that sculpted it right here. i'm telling the truth!

1 - a justin bieber mask (you're wearing it) blame lilyhammer for inspiration
2 - an unlocked safe in the trunk
3 - three more guys on the back seats with money bags and wearing justin bieber masks
NotEvenDoomMusic
377 posts
Joined May 2012
NotEvenDoomMusic
"Yeah *scratches head* you see, me and my homies back there came back from a houseparty where everyone disguise ourselves as some kind of celebrity. Walmart only had those Justin Bieber masks in stock because everything else was sold out and they had too many of those mask in store so we didn't had a choice but got a JB mask for all of us.

We totally forgot to take off the masks since it was such a wild party you know.
And about that unlocked safe; it's from the host of that party- he accidently kicked and locked the door of that safe where he stored all of his wealth from guests that were appearing there. He asked everyone on the party if they could unlock the safe and we were the ones volunteering-
He also said we could keep most of the wealth and split it amongst us, we should just give him back his safe though.

Sir, if you had ever seen Herb Alpert live, then you probably know how the party went

Everyone, literally, tried to blow their own horn"

1. The underaged daughter of your neighbor holding a trumped, naked, tied down and her mouth sealed with cellotape.
2. A sack of really really really really really really really really really really really really really really old sacks.
3. Membership card of the KKK
4. A CD of Skrillex and Darude - Sandsong
hersa37
116 posts
Joined November 2013
hersa37
Officer, don't panic, I'll explain everything if you stop pointing that shotgun to my face. First of all, I'm an undercover agent from the FBI trying to infiltrate the KKK and tear it apart from within. I need to have their trust first in order to do so, so I joined their ranks. I just found the sack on the road side and thought, "hey, why not. It's free anyway". The girl's gonna be 16 tomorrow, so she asked me to do this as a favor for her birthday. I'm not a fan of SM play, but you can't deny her after you see her puppy face

-Thermite
-Igniter
-Blow-up wife
Ceph23
687 posts
Joined September 2013
Ceph23
Not much to say officer. I want to see the effects of thermite on my blow up wife. It's probably gonna be a bang

-a half broken Greatsword
-a book on quantum physics
-a sack of weed
YukinoDesuDesu
164 posts
Joined April 2012
YukinoDesuDesu
Ah you mean what's in this sack? Well, magic ingredients! Not joking, look at this, a book on quantum physics and a legendary broken sword to fend off evil. Magic is some serious stuff u know... So can I go now? Or are you perhaps evil that has be put down by Shadow Lightning Dark Flame Sama?

-loliflan
-blood bags
-machine gun
beeboy123
183 posts
Joined June 2013
beeboy123
It's Loliflan someone was going to do it eventually.

- 3 little girls tied up and bruised
- Hammer
- All covered in your blood filled windowless white van
Trash Boat
4,403 posts
Joined April 2013
Trash Boat
Officer, i can explain! these girls.... well i hate to admit it but they are kinda masochist. they asked me to tie them and take them to some sort of creepy place. please dont ask me which one because i dont know. the van? yeah they are gory too. but the hammer is mine. i have to fix something when all this ends. can i go now? thanks

a Bazooka
a top supermodel with a militar uniform
crystal drugs
Toukai
79 posts
Joined April 2012
Toukai
Well officer, I was actually an undercover agent and prevented this bazooka from being smuggled out of the country....the top supermodel with the militar uniform is for my cousin who has a weird fetish and I don't really think you would want to hear the explanation to that...and the crystal drugs are fake to lure out criminals who have been going around buying drugs all over the place....

A ticking time bomb
a bloody machete
a mans head
Ryu Sei
2,919 posts
Joined October 2013
Ryu Sei
Officer, I don't- I just suddenly found this thing inside my car... Oh, I've just borrowed my car's key to my friend. I think he is the killer of my neighbourhood.

A tablet PC
A last note
A knife
Nathanael
Global Moderator
6,166 posts
Joined January 2013
Nathanael
Officer, my tablet pc has the records from the crime scene of Ryu Sei's friend.
This last note was found from the victim's pocket and the knife that has fingerprints of the killer.
So if you would excuse me, I'm on a hurry to submit these items for further investigation.

A casket where a corpse is dressed with a wedding gown
A used shovel with blood stains.
A treasure box that contains rare jewelries.
Toukai
79 posts
Joined April 2012
Toukai
Well...officer...as you can see i'm driving a hearse and i got lost on the way! That shovel? I'm a part time worker at a farm and I was shoveling up poop for fertilizer and one of our "clients" had a massive case of bloody diarrhea...need I say more? okay. The treasure box is this persons most prized items and the family wanted it to be buried with this person...*tears*


dead friend #1
dead friend #2
dead friend #3
beeboy123
183 posts
Joined June 2013
beeboy123
Officer these are all props for the new running dead episode as they where to relistic I need to return them to the warehouse before I can no longer get a refund.

-Trashboat holding a tied up midget
-42 Parking tickets
-Both you and Trashboat are dressed like Nazi's
Last edited by beeboy123 , edited 1 time in total.
Myke B
1,074 posts
Joined April 2012
Myke B

beeboy123 wrote:

Officer these are all props for the new running dead episode as they where to relistic I need to return them to the warehouse before I can no longer get a refund.
Where are my 3 items?
Nathanael
Global Moderator
6,166 posts
Joined January 2013
Nathanael

beeboy123 wrote:

-Trashboat holding a tied up midget
-Both you and Trashboat are dressed like Nazi's
These aren't 3 items but a person. :/
Try again next time. I'll do it for now. :)

- An identification card
- A lethal injection
- A lab coat
Toukai
79 posts
Joined April 2012
Toukai
O-officer...okay...fine...YOU GOT ME D:< "Shows ID" i'm actually developing a super drug that MAY or MAY NOT turn you into a super human...side effects are usually a zombie apocalypse! I tried it on myself (no animals were tested in the making of this explanation) and I seem to be fine! ..a-a-achoo! jaijfriasj! w-whoops hehe seems like I caught a cold :O I can keep myself warm with that lab coat over there (being an amazing scientist and all dat) w-well then...GOODB-RGFHAHAAAR *zombie apocalypse*

- ski mask
- SMG
- a grenade
Myke B
1,074 posts
Joined April 2012
Myke B
No, no officer - you got it all wrong. I'm on my way to the prison to give a death row inmate his lethal injection. Just look at my license to kill (identification card). "what's the lab coat for?" I don't want this shit getting on my clothes!

1. Gag ball
2. Chloroform
3. Teddy bear
Blaziken
611 posts
Joined June 2011
Blaziken
Listen officer, you don't want to know what the ball gag and chloroform is for, just take the damn teddy bear and pretend this never happened.
1. Spray paint
2. A stick of dynamite
3. Reinforced container of corrosive acid.
Ikikaera
149 posts
Joined January 2014
Ikikaera
-
Last edited by Ikikaera , edited 1 time in total.
Myke B
1,074 posts
Joined April 2012
Myke B
Officer, I was trying to give myself a vasectomy, but I had to test it out on some "willing" participants first. Needless to say - I fucked up a couple of times.

Okay.. really tough one. GL.
1. Baking soda
2. Battery acid
3. Americium
Ryu Sei
2,919 posts
Joined October 2013
Ryu Sei
Uh, Officer, I've recently bought a baking soda for my cake recipe. Battery acid? That's my friends'. I don't know, I've mistaken an aluminum foil with an Americium.

1. An fluorescent
2. A bloody fork
3. A note
Myke B
1,074 posts
Joined April 2012
Myke B
Hey officer! I know what it looks like.. but I can explain. I tried eating the fluorescent light bulb with this fork, because I never learned to read warning labels D: (note)

1. A rope with a noose knot.
2. A porno
3. lube
Ceph23
687 posts
Joined September 2013
Ceph23
S&M officer. Want to take part? ;)

- Nuclear rods
- Meth
- Last week's leftover spaghetti
hersa37
116 posts
Joined November 2013
hersa37
we're doing a spin off of Breaking Bad. There's gonna be a scene where we'll blow a crack house with a bomb and all. Awesome right? As for the spaghetti, I just wanna see how long till it starts to mold, no big deal.
- Magnifying glass
-Thermite
-A box of used contraceptives
Ceph23
687 posts
Joined September 2013
Ceph23
I'm doing an experiment. Can Thermite burn through soggy condoms. I'll be inspecting the results with these magnifying glass. THIS WILL CHANGE THE WORLD!!!!

- A Bloody skeleton
- A a movie titled "Little sister rape ~ even thourg I trusted you onii-chan"
- Red pots
Ryu Sei
2,919 posts
Joined October 2013
Ryu Sei
That bloody skeleton... It's just a property imo. For desktop wallpaper. A movie? Just bought it yesterday. Red pots... that's mine.

- A tile
- A cutter
- A keyboard (instrumental)
AmberLynx
626 posts
Joined December 2010
AmberLynx
Occifer, explain I can! I'm in a band called The Tile Cutters and I'm the keyboardist. Not much else to say here..

- a naked peppy
- a pot of curry
- a talking donkey
ZenoDiac
117 posts
Joined August 2011
ZenoDiac
Err... officer I can explain... W-we were having supper at my house earlier tonight when my friend decided it would be a fun idea to slip in some Bhut Jolokias into our curry. I told him "that's not a good idea Peppy", but he wouldn't listen... he said this stuff will increase dexterity on the keyboard and enhance your eyesight... He took a bite and let out a small "halp" sound. So I went to fetch some water and when I turned around he had already lost all his clothes and headed to the bathroom, screaming. Turns out this stuff goes right through.
I called a doctor but said not to come cause a droplet of that sauce will burn a whole in the hospital floor - we need to cool him off in a lake.
Officer pleeeease can't you see my friend's eyes are turning into volcanoes... w-we need to go to the lake...
No no no, he's not on drugs.. I gave him that donkey puppet to distract him from distracting me - he's having his own conversation with it -says he needs to feed the donkey too. PLEASE!

In your car:
- A Hello Kitty vibrator
- A wedding cake
- A caged iguana
Ceph23
687 posts
Joined September 2013
Ceph23
Officer let me explain. I work for an eccentric sex shop that specializes in custom items. A client of ours ordered a a wedding cake and asked us to put in a Hello Kitty vibrator in the cake once we got there, let me tell you, those weeabos are real weirdos if you ask me. The iguana comes standard from our "Cold blood-Warm Blood" package that our client ordered along with these two items. Here are the order slips......

- A picture of a poorly photoshoped Obama head on a topless body builder
- 3 wet lolis tied up together
- A pedobear inspirational poster
Ikikaera
149 posts
Joined January 2014
Ikikaera
-
Last edited by Ikikaera , edited 1 time in total.
hersa37
116 posts
Joined November 2013
hersa37
We're having a bdsm party with underdeveloped women, wanna join in? Oh, the plastic? You gotta have some place to throw trash into, right?
A broken axe, empty shotgun shells, flashlight
Last edited by hersa37 , edited 1 time in total.
Trash Boat
4,403 posts
Joined April 2013
Trash Boat
Officer, i can explain! I was practicing my shooting and the douche of my brother threw my axe on purpose. The flashlight is because i was practicing late and i have to look for the pieces of my axe

a whip
an oppai
leather suit
theleoleole
117 posts
Joined February 2013
Topic Starter
theleoleole
Officer, i can explain! Im going to play as a cowboy in a drama. So does the oppai is a fake for the drama play. Now would you mind getting out of my car officer?

A broken laptop
A tied man in your baggage
A Rocket Launcher
Kurogamii
1,026 posts
Joined May 2013
Kurogamii
"He's don't wnat to go to his birthday party because busy playing his laptop, so the only way is force him to go. Don't worry, that rocket launcher actually a firework."

A Bag
A Rope
90 Gold Bar @1KG
AutoMedic
1,166 posts
Joined April 2014
AutoMedic
I can explain officer, I was on a mining class and I got these gold. I used the bag and the rope for safety measures and gold storage

1. A katana
2. Ninja Outfiit
3. A AUG
Interference_old
86 posts
Joined October 2013
Interference_old
Oh hi officer! That's my cosplay outfit. Y'know, dressing up like people? Yeah, that's my hobby. And the AUG is my friend's. It's broken so I fixed it.

A box of donut
An A- blood pack
Some weed
theleoleole
117 posts
Joined February 2013
Topic Starter
theleoleole
Oh, Hi officer! I'm hungry now and is eating is against the law? The A- Blood pack is gonna be used for blood donor in a hospital im going. And the weed will be used for the drug rehab center. Now gtfo officer xD

A worn outfit
A Desert Eagle
5 Adorable Kitties in a bag.
Kritzkingvoid
194 posts
Joined February 2014
Kritzkingvoid
Well you see officer, the desert eagle is just a harmless weapon it may look deadly but its not *wink *wink. As for the bag of kittens i found it in the girls bathroom, now your gonna ask why are you in the girls bathroom well thats a long story so we will skip that , i'm not a pervert or anything *wink *wink. The outfit is for my brother. Now that i answered everything will you pls get out of my car officer

A dead officer
A Bloody Knife
And a taco
SnickarN
155 posts
Joined September 2013
SnickarN
Well, officer. This "dead" officer is actually a fake, and the knife was stained with fake blood.

oh, the taco? *grabs it and takes a bite*

A vibrator
A phone that keeps ringing
A grenade

oh, and you're a girl this time.
Rayz141
433 posts
Joined February 2013
Rayz141
well you see, officer, my friend somehow left it there after my home party yesterday so i'm giving it back to her
as for the phone, it's been like that since morning. i'm going to get it fixed at the service center as well
....did you really think it was a grenade? it's just a lighter shaped like one. see?

a head
a feet
a torso
Pacze
49 posts
Joined July 2013
Pacze
Omg Officer, it's not what you think.

I'm a pathologist, and I was doing an autopsy to a man who died in a strange situation, all we could retrieve from where he died are these parts of his body that you can see in my car.

Our microscopy just fell off and got broken, so I have to carry these man's parts to another medical building to continue the autopsy as fast as I can!


- A Shotgun
- Ammunition
- A photo of thelewa, with a cross on his forehead, drawn with blood.
Ryu Sei
2,919 posts
Joined October 2013
Ryu Sei
Oh great

As you can see, the shotgun is a replica one. But not for the ammo, since my- no, our producer on an indie film wants the more realistic feeling.
The photo itself is fake.

- Critical Dude's crown
- A letter
- Guitar
imaginarywriter
23 posts
Joined February 2014
imaginarywriter
You see, Critical Dude's crown got lost because he actually doesn't pay attention, the letter came together with the crown saying "If lost, bring back to Critical Dude". Oh, the guitar is mine, I play it in my spare time.

- Mage Spear
- Imaginary Writer
- Sunglasses
Kyno
102 posts
Joined July 2013
Kyno
Officer, the mage spear is just a prop because im going to a convention and im going to cosplay as >insert name<. You see imaginarywriter because he's coming along with me. The sunglasses are mine because dont you see how sunny it is?

- briefcase with real-looking money
- dozens of daggers and knives
- fort knox worker's ID pass
NoScreename
72 posts
Joined January 2014
NoScreename

kynolenkun wrote:

- briefcase with real-looking money
- dozens of daggers and knives
- fort knox worker's ID pass
Officer, I can explain! First with the money. The money is my pay from another high-paying job. The daggers and knives are for self defence, and the ID is for me working at Fort Knox!

- An M4A1 Assault Rifle with Illegal attachments (Not a replica)
- 5 Diamond rings (Not fake)
- A mask
GSG95
406 posts
Joined October 2014
GSG95
I found all these items hidden behind a bush so I decided to take it to a police station. I even called the police first!

Makeshift weapons.
Rope
Water.
theleoleole
117 posts
Joined February 2013
Topic Starter
theleoleole
Gonna make this thread alive again! Hopefully someone will continue.
=========================================
Umm officer, the makeshift weapon are for my school projects. Its also not loaded with ammos. The rope will be used to tie my stuffs for holiday. And the water? Duhh officer. Stay hidrated! OK! Bye!

- a yellow suit
- a wig
- 3 Fake Passport
Tornado
409 posts
Joined May 2014
Tornado
Officer I can explain! The yellow suit and wig is for a cosplay contest! The 3 fake passports; we want to prank our friend that we will go to USA!



- a death body behind your truck

- a half broken crowbar

- a phone keeps ringing near the phone
Aomi
1,993 posts
Joined August 2013
Aomi
That body over there?
That's my drunk friend sleeping, haha!!
The crowbar is purely decorational, I swear!
Aaand the phone... It's broken.
...Yeaaah.

- A vibrator
- 666 tissues
- A dakimakura
lol
145 posts
Joined November 2014
lol
this
ah yes this is my mothers day present, um, yeah

body pillow with loli
enough ramen to last you 4 months
katana
Aomi
1,993 posts
Joined August 2013
Aomi
i come from the holy nippon, i swear!!

69 sex tapes
300 condoms
25 strap on dildos
Eloc
62 posts
Joined March 2015
Eloc
I was throwing a massive orgy man!

1000kg of weed
10tons of crystal meth
Chloroform and duct tape
Aomi
1,993 posts
Joined August 2013
Aomi
my mom mad e me do i t i s wea r

a duck
human organs
surgical mask
Eloc
62 posts
Joined March 2015
Eloc
I was making a duck/human hybrid cyborg I swear! The other parts are at my laboratory!
worst fl player
worst fl player
I was simply pushing my sweetcorn inside her deeper. Nothing to see here
Zain Sugieres
579 posts
Joined January 2013
Zain Sugieres
What items

A mexican
Another mexican
Yet another mexican
GSG95
406 posts
Joined October 2014
GSG95
bringin these guys in 4 donal trumpo yo


chemicals
a book titled " how 2 meth"
a clown mask
Tornado
409 posts
Joined May 2014
Tornado
It is for a legit experiment

Most of the letters are deleted.It is actually: "How 2 keep the Mental Healthy"

It is for the upcoming Halloween Party



a Baseball Bat

a few wall sprays

a package that contains something white-dusty thing.
45Traeath
388 posts
Joined February 2016
45Traeath
I only want to have the Scout from TF2 to sign my bat with those sprays (maybe the amount of color liquid in each spray is quite... well).
You don't know that "Pocket Sand" gag? Since I can't get sand around this city, I rather use flour for such purposes.


Framed glasses [broken part: the glasses]
A wrench
A round doorknob
Blitzfrog
389 posts
Joined March 2016
Blitzfrog
I forgot I had my keys in my pocket so I grabbed the wrench from my garage and smashed doorknob. It flew apart.... The rebound also destroyed my glasses......

A TV
A bra
A bloodied knife
HootOwlStar
778 posts
Joined May 2014
HootOwlStar
"Wanted to sell the TV to the electrical appliance store, but I was attacked by a masked lady after packing my car with the TV. It might be that the attacker lacks experience with using weaponry, the lady cut her arm with her own knife after some struggle with her for a while. I caught the slim chance and snatched her bra as an evidence for further reports. She escaped but carelessly left the knife, and so I picked it up too as another evidence. However after some thoughts I decided to let her go anyway, nobody is perfect and everyone will definitely blunder at least once in the lifetime. Had the appointment with the store manager by the way so could I excuse myself now?"

For the next person, in the back of your car, there are:
  1. Filter papers
  2. Crates of cocaine
  3. Dead sparrow
Edit: Sorry for editing the post. me = frequent post changer
Last edited by HootOwlStar , edited 1 time in total.
Kobi_old_1
45 posts
Joined May 2014
Kobi_old_1
"What do you mean that's cocaine? Shit, man, they told me it was flour, I need an absolute ton of the stuff. That's screwed up my whole day. What do you mean, 'why?', I'm baking all the damn cupcake for my dumbass sister's baby shower. I don't even like kids. Goddammit. The papers are for my disgusting nicotine habit, which last time I checked wasn't illegal on my own property and the mice are my beloved pets, the neighbour's cat fucking demolished them and I'm on my way to get them cremated. Yes, with the flour, what I'm not allowed to multitask? Do you have any idea how stressed I am? You are not helping. Go away."

>An extremely realistic prop severed-hand
>A photo album full of pictures of your ex with his/her face cut out or defaced
>A satirical self-help book entitled "Get over him with Satanism!" which, like all good satire, isn't obviously satirical at first glance

Edit: Dammit while I was typing you changed the third object from mice to sparrow D: how cud u do dis 2 me
Offdensen
335 posts
Joined May 2015
Offdensen
Officer,I can explain! The book is my prized possession,and I am using it to write things in that you normally don't see. My car is yes,old,but I love it,so don't crash it. Also,my brother Sam is innocent.

Winchester demon hunting book
Keys to car
Fake ID
MagicalPug
4 posts
Joined December 2015
MagicalPug
"I was bringing the these items to my wife and this fake I.D. is just a decoration for our bedroom"

A Box filled with O- blood
Police uniform
A police bage
samX500
54 posts
Joined January 2018
samX500
I am an undercover police officer and I am pursuing a secret mission that I can't tell anyone about. The blood has to do with it.

A bloody axe.
A tied up bag.
A mask
keremaru
228 posts
Joined November 2017
keremaru
"Oh, this stuff? I'm part of the production cast for a play that takes place in the woods. The axe is for the main antagonist, since he's playing the part of a menacing serial killer that the multiple protagonists have to deduce the identity of. The tied up bag is for one of the main characters, as the setting is during Christmas and the character is dressing up as Santa Claus. The mask is for the secondary antagonist, who serves as a spy within the main cast. I'm sorry for any possible confusion that I may have caused."

Blood-stained hands
A foul odor emanating from your body
A fingerprint that matches your own at a controversial crime scene
Achromalia
347 posts
Joined November 2016
Achromalia
"hey, officer! can you lead me to the station? something really, really fucked up just happened, and... i need to report...

yes, my friend just got killed, we... we were walking out there by the shore and all of a sudden, she screamed, and... i... she... this other woman, she came up to us and... the axe, i... wasn't fast enough. i should've... hhhffffFFFUCK. so i lunged for the throat. i knocked her out, i think, and ripped off her mask.

i really wanted to hit her, but... i couldn't. i didn't even bring my phone... i couldn't...

...mhmm. it happened right back there, behind that line of trees. please, arrest that fucking woman, take this bag with the mask and axe as well, i wanted to bring these to the station but...

...thank you.

alright. i'll wait here...

...

hmm. looks like this might actually work out according to plan. first time wasn't too bad after all."


OT: bruh momentum.

i just wrote a novel and got absolutely fucking ninja'd. i'll rewrite this later.

- - -

a trunk full of assault rifles.
a makeshift grenade.
a syringe with an illegal sedative.
Last edited by Achromalia , edited 1 time in total.
keremaru
228 posts
Joined November 2017
keremaru

Achromalia wrote:

"hey, officer! can you lead me to the station? something really, really fucked up just happened, and... i need to report...

yes, my friend just got killed, we... we were walking out there by the shore and all of a sudden, she screamed, and... i... she... this other woman, she came up to us and... the axe, i... wasn't fast enough. i should've... hhhffffFFFUCK. so i lunged for the throat. i knocked her out, i think, and ripped off her mask.

i really wanted to hit her, but... i couldn't. i didn't even bring my phone... i couldn't...

...mhmm. it happened right back there, behind that line of trees. please, arrest that fucking woman, take this bag with the mask and axe as well, i wanted to bring these to the station but...

...thank you.

alright. i'll wait here...

...

hmm. looks like this might actually work out according to plan. first time wasn't too bad after all."


OT: bruh momentum.

i just wrote a novel and got absolutely fucking ninja'd. i'll rewrite this later.

the warning is still in effect, it seems.

OT:
Preface information: this is in 2014, where the war against Afghanistan is still waging on.
"Officer, what are you doing here? This is enemy territory! You have to get out of here before you get yourself hurt! How did you even get clearance to be out here?! We're about to raid the 'Eye-Assist,' and we can't have any civilians hurt in our war efforts! We shouldn't even HAVE civilian casualties from America! Get out of here, NOW!"

a handgun that is still smoking hot
a full bag of money
the way the cop caught up to you was after a high speed chase
Last edited by keremaru , edited 1 time in total.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Beatmap Nominator
936 posts
Joined April 2016
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Wait, aren't you my accomplish officer? Why are you stopping me? Go back to your spot or else we wouldn't pull this through! Hmph!


A pair of kidney
A brain
Human skins
A heart
A human child
KnightPerfect
7 posts
Joined September 2019
KnightPerfect
That, officer? Well, it´s for my work.
The child? It´s "bring you daughter to work" day.

a Camera
a laptop
an external drive labeled "videos & pics of feet"
Tad Fibonacci
112 posts
Joined August 2015
Tad Fibonacci
"ah yes, I am documenting and researching the aero mechanics of the human's feet. Do you know that the human's feet is a flawed design?
From what I've gathered, it puts too much stress on your spine and is designed to fail once old age comes.
I plan to develop prosthetic legs to help disabled people to be able to walk not only as good as a healthy human being, but they'll even be able to do it much better, with no long term side effects."

---------

A Gewehr 98.
A WWI German empire uniform.
Trench clubs.
samX500
54 posts
Joined January 2018
samX500
You see, I am going to host a presentation on the german military and I brang these item with me to show the visitor what the army was using. I have a special liscence that allows me to carry this weapon for the duration of my presentation as you can see here.

----------------------

Several grade-school uniform
A lot of Lubrifiant
A lot of tissue
Achromalia
347 posts
Joined November 2016
Achromalia
no, i'm planning on cosplaying with my friends at [insert local upcoming anime convention]. the lube's... personal, but the tissue's still just for the allergies.

- - -

Andrew Yang's dead body.

Zach Graumann's unconscious body.

Toby Fox in a body bag.
Carmlillball
129 posts
Joined April 2018
Carmlillball
I like body pillows.

---

A gun
Another gun
Jesus how many guns do you have
samX500
54 posts
Joined January 2018
samX500
You see officer, I am a gun collector, all of these gun are prefectly legal I can show you the liscences for each one of them if you wished so.

___________________

A literal ton of explosive.
A mask.
A long distance trigger
Nuuskamuikkunen
1,266 posts
Joined March 2013
Nuuskamuikkunen
Well, It's perfectly normal as I work in a mine.

-------------------------

A loli.
MDMA Pills.
Assorted white powders.
Tad Fibonacci
112 posts
Joined August 2015
Tad Fibonacci
You see, this is my daughter. I've just picked her up from school and we're on our way home.
The pills are for my research.
I am a Doctor tasked with the medical research of Methyl​enedioxy​methamphetamine.
With the supervision from an expert and with enough research and preparations, Methyl​enedioxy​methamphetamine pills may assist in treating severe, treatment-resistant post traumatic stress disorders.

And for those white powders, they're baking soda and flour. We also have milk, eggs, sugar and chocolate.
I was planning to bake a cake for my daughter's birthday.

--------------------------------------------------

Used child undergarments.
Lube.
Children's clothes.
Last edited by Tad Fibonacci , edited 1 time in total.
vinnicci
318 posts
Joined December 2015
vinnicci
I do laundry.
The lube? Oh i use it to remove tougher stains

A pirated copy of Skyrim
A pirated copy fallout 76
A picture of Todd Howard
Nuuskamuikkunen
1,266 posts
Joined March 2013
Nuuskamuikkunen
I'm a bethesda worker, the boss told me to program some anti-piracy code. I admire Todd so much that I had to print his photo as a daily motivation.

--------------

A camcorder.
The blueprints of a school.
A car filled with explosives and weapons.
Nate Bait
156 posts
Joined April 2017
Nate Bait
"Oh, I'm a construction worker. We plan on demolishing an old facility to build a new school.

Speaking of which, my son has a video project for his theatre class. Yes, the weapons are fake."

- - - - - - - - - -

> A rope
> A folded paper
> A family photo
Nuuskamuikkunen
1,266 posts
Joined March 2013
Nuuskamuikkunen
I was about to hang the rope in a tree, and then tie it to a tire, the family photo is because I'm faraway from them, so I wrote a letter and then fold it. I miss them, and as they don't know how to use internet, this is the only way I could communcate with them.

-----------------------------------

A couch.
Several brazzers employees.
Three porn actors.
Achromalia
347 posts
Joined November 2016
Achromalia
poor lads and gals had to move to higher ground. one moment, we're having a family reunion, and the next, everything is flooded. we tried to take what furniture we could into this little truck, but... there's probably nothing left back there. can you help us find a shelter around here?

- - -

a profusely bleeding Javan rhinoceros with two arrows stuck in its neck, and one piercing its stomach, all with your fingerprints on them.

a few quivers mostly full of arrows inside a bag with a receipt to your name.

a loaded assault rifle.
Last edited by Achromalia , edited 1 time in total.
Nuuskamuikkunen
1,266 posts
Joined March 2013
Nuuskamuikkunen
OF COURSE I AM TRYING TO HEAL IT! About the quivers and the rifle, the hunter fled and left its weapons in there. That receipt if you read it well it's a supermarket receipt, I do groceries like any other person.

--------

Chloroform.
An unconscious person.
Contraceptives.
KnightPerfect
7 posts
Joined September 2019
KnightPerfect

eblf2013 wrote:

OF COURSE I AM TRYING TO HEAL IT! About the quivers and the rifle, the hunter fled and left its weapons in there. That receipt if you read it well it's a supermarket receipt, I do groceries like any other person.

--------

Chloroform.
An unconscious person.
Contraceptives.

Well...er...uhm...we never met, ok?

A person holding a sign in an foreign language.
ID card´s
Cash
Nuuskamuikkunen
1,266 posts
Joined March 2013
Nuuskamuikkunen
Normal persons in a protest, proud of their country by showing their ID cards, of course they need some cash to go back home.

A false passport with your photo.
300.000$
A recording that tells you a mission.
JustABeginner
1,283 posts
Joined December 2016
JustABeginner
A false passport with my photo?
- Just in case someone tries to steal my passport.

300,000$?
- There's a mission that I need to do that has been recorded.

A recording that tells me a mission?
- Yeah, it tells me to donate money to the needy such as the home for handicapped and homeless shelter.

--------------------------------------------------------

I'm reviving this game?
What's with the:-
Explosive bombs
Firearm
That... bear mascot???
[LS]PositoniX
634 posts
Joined June 2018
[LS]PositoniX
first of all, thank you for reviving this,

second:

why, im glad you asked. well, im kind of a cop myself. i recently just broke into a terrorist camp and jailed all of them. they had the explosives and firearms. as for the bear mascot... dont worry about that one

anyway, what's with:
the lighter fluid
that ligher
and the gunpowder????
Nuuskamuikkunen
1,266 posts
Joined March 2013
Nuuskamuikkunen
That bear mascot is my kid's teddy bear, also the firearm is a toy.

The explosives? These aren't these kind of explosives, these are fireworks I bought.


I work at a garbage dumpster and I was told to get rid of the trash as fast as possible so...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A folder full of nudes
A computer connected to several hidden cameras
Someone asking you for more in the chat
Last edited by Nuuskamuikkunen , edited 2 times in total.
abraker
Global Moderator
8,355 posts
Joined July 2014
abraker
"Sir, do you know who the heck you just pulled over? I'm this close from cracking this case wide open, and if I don't hurry this creep is going slip past us right when we have him where we want him to be."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A violin case
White gloves
Pair of shades
[LS]PositoniX
634 posts
Joined June 2018
[LS]PositoniX

abraker wrote:

"Sir, do you know who the heck you just pulled over? I'm this close from cracking this case wide open, and if I don't hurry this creep is going slip past us right when we have him where we want him to be."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A violin case
White gloves
Pair of shades
goth funeral

a cracked phone
an empty briefcase
a bag with a powdery thing
Zelzatter Zero
4,063 posts
Joined October 2016
Zelzatter Zero
I've just dropped my phone dude. Also I always bring this briefcase all along everyday and that powder is just baking soda.
...


A bloody knife.
Your hand with some suspicious red liqid.
A fishy smell coming from you.
rosewaters
31 posts
Joined December 2019
rosewaters
just went fishing. i used the knife to cut the fishing line, because it got stuck, and i didn't want to just leave my fishing rod there.
that red stuff? oh, i must have accidentally cut my hand when cutting the fishing line.

lots of glass bottles,
a pole, sharp at the end,
2 big black bags.
Hydreigon
274 posts
Joined February 2020
Hydreigon
Just recycling some glass bottles so i can use them for stuff like art or designing. Well for the pole i was gonna use it for my next cool art project with the bottles! and for the bags, well its for carrying all these bottles.
-


Lots of pictures of the same person
Binoculars
A gun with a silencer
Zelzatter Zero
4,063 posts
Joined October 2016
Zelzatter Zero
They're just drawings of my friends.

We're currently in vacation so I brought binoculars to see stuffs far away.

That gun is a toy, obviously.




Some condoms.
A suspicious white liquid on your shirt.
A rope.
Nuuskamuikkunen
1,266 posts
Joined March 2013
Nuuskamuikkunen
I was doing laundry and I accidentally spilled some detergent on me, of course the rope is there to hang my clothes.
About the condoms, I am doing an AIDS prevention campaign.

Human organs.
Price tags.
Several testimonials of kidnapping.
JustABeginner
1,283 posts
Joined December 2016
JustABeginner
Human organs?
- Yes, I'm a surgeon. I do transplant to save patients' lives.

Price tags?
- Do you mean my groceries that I've just bought?

Several testimonials of kidnapping?
- I think you read it wrong, it's several testimonials of kids taking a nap.

-----------------------------------------------------------

What's with the:-
  1. Chainsaw?
  1. Gas Mask?
  1. The puppy in the cage?
Zelzatter Zero
4,063 posts
Joined October 2016
Zelzatter Zero
They're for a play in my school.


Red liquid in your clothes, hands and your mouth.
Human organs.
A skull. Real skull.
JustABeginner
1,283 posts
Joined December 2016
JustABeginner
Red liquid in my clothes, hands and my mouth; human organs?
- Preparation for Halloween.

A real skull?
- I couldn't find a skull so I've decided to steal a real skull from Disneyland.

---------------------------------------------------------

What's with the:-
Fake police badge and uniforms
A huge female doll
The names in the book that were written are dead, what a coincidence.
Nuuskamuikkunen
1,266 posts
Joined March 2013
Nuuskamuikkunen
They were my grandparents that have died years ago. Of course, the fake police badges and uniforms, as well as the doll are part of a teathre play.

A voodoo doll.
A campfire.
A spellbook.
Zelzatter Zero
4,063 posts
Joined October 2016
Zelzatter Zero
They're also for a play in Halloween. ;w;


A man with a collar and muzzle on him.
Suspicious white liqid on both your and his body/clothes.
A bit of leather BDSM suit can be seen under your clothes.
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