Your name is Aqo Papadopoulos, private investigator and circle clicker extraordinaire**.
You wake up to the sound of birds chirping. Your eyes open lazily, your body feels heavier than lead, and that fucking chirping is piercing your brain(man). The sun isn't even out yet.
Normally you'd hate mornings, but your hatred of birds makes this a special morning.
You put on the cast the doctor ordered you to wear for your crippled carpal tunnel and grab some breakfast. Normally you would've just gone to your computer and clicked on circles, but your keyboard is in pieces and you made a hole in your tablet after much use last night.
I don't know what the hell you eat for breakfast, but you eat breakfast.
Shortly after, you walk outside with a shotgun, still in your pajamas. By this time the birds have already shut up and the sun has come out. A policeman spots you, but immediately recognizes you and goes back to his duties.
"Blargh" you say as you start shooting birds anyway.
...
You manage to shoot down about two birds in an hour. You realize your aim sucks.
"I should practice some more Hard Rock" you mutter to yourself.
Then, a bird perches itself on a streetlamp nearby. Easy prey. You shakily aim your rifle towards the bird, but it sprouts gigantic arms as you pull the trigger. The bullets bounce off the bird's amazing muscular arms.
"CAAAAW" the bird cries. It jumps on you and beats the hell out of you.
...
You wake up in an alien spaceship. You don't know how you knew that, you just did. You're tied down to a bed. Some aliens approach you. The surgery lamp over you makes it difficult to make out their features.
" 'Ey weddo, didn't we harvest dis guy already?" one of them says in his alien accent.
"Ese, you're right mein" another figure responds.
"Fuckin' cholo, let's just stick some organs in him and pull them out again."
They operate on you without using anesthesia. It hurt as all hell, and you black out from the pain.
You wake up in your room in the middle of the night, sitting in front of your computer.
You're naked.
[]Head outside and try to find those goddamn aliens.
[]Head next door and use your neighbor's computer.
[]Put on some clothes and grab some dinner.
[]Post about this in Off-Topic.
what do
**in other words,not good at it.