00:24:157 (4,1) - Overall, you've used a lot of rhythms that follow the melody, but here I feel like the rhythm is out of focus because it's just following the drum sound, and it would be nice if you could adjust the rhythm a bit to fit the concept of the section. 00:34:003 (4,1) - same here.
00:42:465 (5,1,2,3,4,5,6,1,2,3,4,5,1,2) - I feel like the 1/1 rhythm is very long and boring, so I think it would be nice if you could add a few more rhythms like 1/2 to create more variety.