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Could you try lowering the rhythm density a bit in the calmer parts of the song? The density of some of the sections was too high for the intensity of the song, which made it difficult and didn't contrast well with the kiai sections.
00:21:523 (5,6,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,1,2) - 00:34:323 (4,5,6,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,1) - For these sections, the density of 1/2 is almost as high as the kiai sections for the strength of the song, but I think you can simplify the density as shown below.