00:11:400 - need to nerf this section for contrast with more intense parts. like kiai, you mapped it less dense.
do that:
00:12:900 -> 00:12:750 - move note for instrumental
00:12:300 -> 00:12:450 - move note for instrumental
00:12:000 - add a note here
00:13:500 - remove for simpification
do the same rhythm in 00:13:800 ~ 00:15:300 -
00:15:900 - 00:16:200 - remove these notes for rest moment
you should to get this: 1st note is 00:11:400 -
and 2nd half should be same for consistency