00:23:510 (2) - pretty sure this needs to be a 1/2 slider with a reverse. it would fit better with the drums and the vocals
00:27:510 (2) - can use a straight slider? he looks more aesthetically pleasing, I think https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/13943389/04e3
00:34:510 (1) - split into two circles? maybe even something like this rhythm: https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/13932636/ebc9
the thing is that 00:35:010 - this is where a new line of the lyrics starts, so having a slider ending here is not accurate at all
00:40:510 (1) - here is a very quiet sound to express it with a note with nc, I would even say that there is a quieting of vocals. I suggest you use such a rhythm, because they will more correctly express this place https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/13943391/e061
00:52:010 (3,4) - how about change circle to slider like this patterns 00:49:510 (2,3) - 00:53:510 (2,3) - for consistency
00:57:510 (3) - this is underwhelming for a normal difficulty and a kiai part. try something like https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/13932650/2bbc this?
it follows the instruments and keeps the density of objects challenging enough
00:59:260 (2) - thius could be removed. a gap here would highligh the bass sound on 00:59:510 (3,4) -
01:15:510 (3,4) - maybe try use this rhythm? https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/13943394/32fa it expresses music better than the one you have, but there is one thing but in RC :"Avoid more than four consecutive 1/2 sliders. This includes 1/2 reversing sliders." but RCs are written for 180 bpm, and you have 120 so that's fine, I think
For simular places accepting too
01:16:260 (4) - it should be hard to read for new players that play this diff. because 01:15:010 (2) - this slider covers it. how about make a patterns like this 01:18:510 (1,2,3,4) - ?
01:16:510 (1,2,3) - both 1 and 3 appear to be slightly offscreen, please try a different shape to avoid that https://i.imgur.com/VFJes9J.png