R.I.P.

00:18:815 - how about to do mirror pattern here?
Like https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/16989392/b17a or https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/16989394/1a61
Since the drum here is symmetry here ; w ;

00:19:440 - 이 부분과 인세인 사이의 갭을 어떻게 줄일수 없을까요? 02:19:440 - 해당 부분처럼
어떤 부분을 의도하려하는지는 잘 알겠으나 아무래도 난이도 사이에서 밀도 조정 부분이 합리적이다고 생각하지는 않아서
하드와 인세인 사이 1/1 에서 1/8로 스냅이 한번에 점프하기 때문에

01:59:440 - 동일파트 또한 고려해주셔야합니다

00:19:707 - personally I think the build-up section's difficulty should constantly increase unless its mood significantly changes, so I would do something like,

https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/14055605/1242

as I mentioned in General about the difficulty boost

00:20:065 (20065|0,22565|1) - Short LNs like this are a little weird for me (Just me I guess lul)
They are not in the same pitch but in same col.
I guess this is your intention to make this diff more fun to play, so yeah you can ignore this and keep your current pattern.

00:20:957 - You definitely should make this section harder, it's not kiai but it works as a first kiai

For lower difficulties, if it is hard to give a mixed expression of pitch and rhythm, I prefer having rhythmical interpretations overwhelming pitch.

So ignoring pitch for a bit 00:20:957 - 00:23:457 - 00:25:957 - here and etc. I would give LN for 00:20:957 - 00:21:113 - 00:21:425 - 00:21:738 - 00:22:050 - and etc. I know you represented some of these sounds as LN in the later kiai section, but its more of a consistency issue than your own interpretation of this song. Also, giving direct repetitive patterns to players may give better feeling that they are actually playing the song, not the map.

00:24:863 (24863|3) - I would move this note to col-2 to make jack that represent 2-hit of kick drum before the snare at 00:25:019

00:27:832 (27832|0,27910|1,27988|2,28066|3) - this could be reverse stair as represent the pitch also at 00:28:222 (28222|1,28378|2) - I don't hear any instruments played at this point (I call it a ghost note)
details of my pattern suggestion: https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/13981319/e680

00:29:082 (29082|1,29082|0) - . 더블로 처리할만큼의 큰 소리는 안들리네요. 단놋으로 처리하셔도 괜찮을꺼같습니다.

00:38:919 (38919|2,39231|2) - it's too hard for this diff imo.
https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/16989399/c1a5
stack in one-hand side will be more friendly for hard diff players x w x

00:40:957 - make sure you have a similar way of representing the main melody sounds although pitch differs, you need something different here to give impressions to players.

https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/14055925/2b91
https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/14055927/f208

and alternate stacked patterns to the left hand for later sections

00:42:050 - double is better i think

01:47:050 (107050|2) - . 킥 소리가 들리는데, 더블 처리 안한것은 의도인가요?

01:50:488 - Why you skip to map synth at this point, they still fit and didn't make your pattern look bad https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/13981327/9724

02:05:019 (125019|1,125253|1) - I think reverse shields should only be reserved at higher difficulty of a map since this can be slightly confusing to players of this level, I would recommend rearranging stuffs a little bit here to something like : https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/14157089/834f so it has a little bit more of variation to it while avoiding reverse shield's usage

02:10:957 - it's weird to have easier patterns while music is still in the same or higher mood, would prefer patterns below

https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/14055943/8655