Hi Charlotte, mod requested via pm.
I hope it'll be usefull :c
General : Maybe you could ask someone to help you about the main bpm time signature, i mean there are a lot of important notes that are not on the big white lines, especially noticable in the Kantan.
Im not saying the bpm is wrong, just the big white lines positioning, just an esthetics problem so it's not that important.
[Oni]
mmm i'm not really a fan of that style as i would've mapped it totaly differently bu np.
The diff is really airy while there are a lot of beats x_x that's not a problem but i think there are some moments that could sounds better with more notes.
- 00:05:531 maybe add something ? that break feels a bit weird while playing imo.
- 00:09:324 ^.
Not sure if these 1/3 are really or for this part but well x_x if you keep them :
- 00:38:462 add k ? fits the melody (as you mostly follow it if im right), it looks like you put nothing there on purpose but i don't really see why x_x.
- 00:41:220 ^.
- 00:43:979 ^.
- 00:49:873 from here, there are some notes that sounds a bit out of rhythm, they are not but it sounds so because there are too isolated imo :
- 00:52:316 add d here and also at 00:52:733 - ? that k sounds weird alone.
- 00:54:839 do something similar to 00:57:888 - ? i mean use ddddd d d instead of k d d ? ^ same reason.
- 01:04:169 add d here ? better getting a d here if you follow the melody (even if you want a break here, the bpm is slow enough).
But well i got a big changes suggestion for this part. Just change the break and add notes to follow the melody well :
- 01:06:593 add d.
- 01:07:957 try something like that
?
cursor is at 01:08:654 -.
- 01:12:364 add d.
- 01:13:398 (302) del.
- 01:14:777 add d.
If you did the changes and think that there are not enough break, you can also remove 01:10:295 (286) and 01:13:053 (300) -.
- 01:17:536 refer to 00:38:462 -.
- 01:23:053 ^.
- 01:26:329 (386,387,388) mm was a bit weird to play (i know what you follow but it sounds not high enough i think), maybe use the normal rhythm could be better, idk what to suggest tho.
- 01:29:260 (392,393,394) ^.
- 01:38:053 add d ?
- 01:40:812 ^.
[Muzukashii]
- move 00:05:876 (12) to 00:05:531 - ? or do what i suggested for the oni ?
- 00:38:462 refer to the Oni.
- 00:41:220 ^.
- 00:43:979 ^.
- 00:52:316 refer to the Oni.
- 00:53:571 do something similar to 00:56:777 (180,181,182,183,184,185) - ? more or less as i suggested in the Oni.
- del 01:13:053 (142,144) and then add d at 01:13:743 and at 01:14:088 - ? Try it, it should fits more the melody and be a bit more consistent (shorter patterns).
- 01:17:536 refer to the Oni, same for the rest of the kiai.
- 01:26:329 (301,302,303) like for the Oni ;_; feels a bit weird to me, maybe add d at 01:26:329 and at 01:27:364 - ? sounds good i think if you wanna keep that xx/xy style, you can also do something similar on The Oni at least.
[Futsuu]
Maybe try these changes on your kiais (this example is for the first one, different timings for the second obviously):
- 00:37:255 (93,94,92) why not ddk in 1/3 ?
- 00:40:014 ^. + del 00:40:703 (100) -.
- 00:42:772 ^. + del 00:43:462 (106) + add k at 00:43:979 -.
- 00:45:531 ^. + del 00:46:220 (111) -.
- 00:52:316 refer to the Oni.
- 00:53:571 add d here and at 00:53:994 and then del the one you had between both ? easier to read/fits more drums.
- 00:55:623 ^.
[Kantan]
- 00:52:524 (76) move to 00:52:316 - ? easier to read.
- 00:53:571 add d here and at 00:53:994 and then remove 00:53:782 (78) and 00:54:416 (79) - ? easier to read again as it is a kantan.
- 00:55:819 refer to - 00:52:524 (76) -.
- add d at 01:26:674 -, - 01:27:364 -, - 01:28:053 and then del 01:27:019 (138) - ? i think that's easier again, just following the main rhythm.
- 01:29:433 ^ do something similar (i mean something like xxx x x xxx instead of xxx x xxx).
- 01:32:191 ^.
- 01:34:950 ^.
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Good luck'