spoonguy

formerly known as

Paulmrm

tl;dr i'm just not interested in this game right now, but that probably won't last forever, so expect me to suddenly come back some day

-- if you are reading my homepage, you should be familiar with my tendency to write huge walls which aren't really going anywhere, which is a habit i'm painfully aware of, so beware from this point on --

there are, surprisingly, people who played (still do? i'm not following right now) my charts, and i surprisingly have a target audience.
i don't say surprisingly because i consider my charts bad (although many do), but because that means my very idiosyncratic taste is shared by some people who, just like me, love charts when they are hard, painful, tricky, and make you discover new tendons you have never even conceived of in your hand's musculoskeletal apparatus.
for this game is not simply power-lifting, there is much more to it than comparing numbers.
some people may also understand the feeling of having a map that beckons you: the map itself is a wall for you, rather than its bpm, its star rating, or another player's score in a leaderboard, it nags at you, asking "well? aren't you supposed to be able to play charts 'in this range of difficulty'? what happened?"
a map that makes your blood boil! why can't i play this?!?!?!?

all pretentiousness aside, the reason i mentioned this is because a lot of the people who played my charts never really talked to me, for a fair share of reasons.
this includes language barriers, but also the fact that i was never a part of a group, partly due to how fragmented the 7k community is and due to just historical reasons, since i came from the community of a game nearly nobody even knows about.
sometimes it's because i am somewhat antisocial and difficult to approach as well, i have to admit.
and of course, nobody really LOVES my maps in the same way they would the maps of other people, there is always some superposition between liking them and playing them all the time, but also wishing that i would fuck off.
this is, as you might deduce, exactly the kind of reaction i loved and fed off of, but the point is that it takes courage to come up to someone and say "i like your chart but at the same time fuck you" or "i hate everything you make but i end up playing everything over and over anyway", which some people did!, and it usually made my day.

regardless of the above, two or three people have come to me asking if i had "quit for real", despite the fact i've never really been active since 2017 lmao. of course, attention from two or three people for a weirdo who makes weirdo maps like me is enough to warrant this wall.

to put it simply, i've recently graduated from uni and started working a pretty hefty job on engineering, not only that but my nerdy interests which i've acquired during graduation have also been kept, and i still am constantly studying logic and mathematics, and a few other things as well.
so my free time is null, and my interest in this game has also gone to zero in this moment, there are a lot of other things which i find more fun in doing right now, and the list is likely to grow in the near future.

i still feel like it's lame that i've left behind 5 wip charts in which i'm actually quite fond of what's already done, and they are somewhat dear to me. i might come back in the next few months to finish them, but don't count on it, i hate forcing myself to do these kinds of things, and usually when i feel forced to map something, it shows.
for example, i feel like my tournament charts are very uninspired and "soulless". there are a few people who like them more than my "normal" (xd) charts, but i dislike them and only my opinion matters here!

in any case, knowing myself, it is likely i'll eventually regain interest in rhythm games, though it will take a while.
so i might come back, who knows!!

1st season ~ Intense Chordstreaming
Sayonara Planet Wars (8)
Palette Gamma (10)
TENSHI (10)
I am a super man. (10)

2nd season ~ Classic Spoon Stuff
A c i - L (2)
Death (11)
Revival of Kalpa (3)
Crisp (1)

3rd season ~ A Less Sassy Spoon
Holy Orders (3)
Deus ex machina (1)
Extreme Z4 (4)
vivace tramonto (5)

4th season ~ Delightful and Otherworldly Fictional Girls
EX-Termination (3)
Bhava-agra As Seen Through a Child's Mind (6)
Sayonaramatane (7)
Phantasm Machine ~ Phantom Factory (5)

5th season ~ EXTREME BONE STRENGTHENING TRAINING ~ POTASSIUM REPLENISHMENT METHOD (2021 UPDATED!)
My Druggy First Kiss (3)
you -AYAKASHI- (7)
Utakata (10)
Far From Truth (11)

6th season ~ Miscellaneous Misconstruction of Mischievous Misconceivable Patterns

more seasons to come as well

HARD RICE LOVE

this is here in case i realize a chart was too easy/hard for its current rating long after i uploaded it

super man 10 -> 9 (-1)
vend 6 -> 7 (+1)
akzeriyyuth 13 -> 11 (-2) (consider this for the nerfed version)

this is my charting project where i gather a lot of songs i want to map and try to make hard shit with them

this is already what i usually do so you can think of it as if i were making my own stepmania pack or something like that (which is really pretentious if you think about it!! but that's exactly why it's fun)

well i feel like i trolled people with this long enough, so i'll explain it lmao

sp in my maps does not stand for single play like in bms, but for spoon
i had this stupid idea when i was planning on making my own difficulty scale because thats what all the cool kids did (and using bms insane scale in osu is kinda dumb anyway, since it considers easy/groove clears which are concepts that are not translatable into osu)
when i was searching for a spooky esoteric egyptian cuneiform ass symbol to use for my difficulty scale i realized that i could just bait and switch people using sp and saying it stands for spoon, which is something that is still funny for me to see people fall for

i'm so sorry..............

in any case, just to give you an idea of how this difficulty rating works: it generally speaks about how hard a certain map is to get a 95~96% at (not considering random)
here is how i would rate a few famous chordstream maps in my scale, just for reference:

xecus (insane 14) - sp3
air god - sp5
love & justice - sp8
freedom dive - sp11

hopefully this clears things up a little bit

of course be aware that every single difficulty rating system ever is a joke
you shouldn't expect to get similar scores in two maps of similar rating, but you should expect that you should be able to attempt a map if you can play another of similar rating
everything a difficulty rating should do is tell you when you can start attempting a certain map, nothing more, nothing less
wanting it to do anything more than that is delusional considering everyone has completely different skill biases, and that maps can be quite idiosyncratic compared to what's """meta""" (if there is such a thing)

don't take all this too seriously

last update: april 12th 2022

completion: 20/60
morale: acceptable
availability: bad
next step: 6th season

don't really have much free time and i've been spending it with other stuff recently
but at some point i'll finish the maps i've been making since last year
i really like them, i hope you will as well when they come out

thoughts on recent maps and general perspectives on rhythm games (nov 15th 2020)
text wall i've written at the end of 2020 above, it still counts though i would word a few things differently nowadays

thank you all for everything
i think that's all i really need to say, anything else is just filler