Akiyama Mizuki

formerly known as

bbj0920, _todestrieb, awayuru, isome

first and foremost, i will be fine. if i ever was someone to muster up the courage to end it all 90% of yall reading this would never have got to know me. no worries.
if you wanna take my unsubmitted maps or graved gds or whatever for yourself feel free, you have my full permission.
from here on out you will rarely hear from me, if ever at all. i won't be here online as isome (or whatever you call me) anymore. i might also change my english name (olivia).. you can message me, but i probably won't read. after i finish writing this i won't be logged in on this account. my discord (mizuenafangirl, not isome. or isome) will still be up but only for very few friend groups. i'm deleting a good chunk of my friend list, please don't take it personally or think i hate you in some way as that is not the case. maybe we never talked enough to get to know each other and maybe time has passed and that made us veer.. but that's just a natural course of life. feel free to message me if we are still friends on discord and if not still feel free to message me but i might not respond. if there's anything super urgent definitely feel free to message me though
if i ever hurt someone with my words or actions i'd have loved to talk it out and had a chance to apologize but since i'm moving on this is kind of the best i can do. or maybe message me on discord..
i believe this is the best thing i can do for myself. my hyperfixation on osu has got so bad that for the past 5-6 years over half of my internet activities are directly or tangentially related to osu, and it has been unhealthy for me especially because.. even with a lot of nice people in it, i have increasingly found the community *as a whole* unlikable, sometimes even to a point of disdain. i've also come to realize that even if i stop interacting with people altogether.. the game is still there, fully playable. it's something i can always come back to without zero online requirements... all of this however doesn't invalidate the good times i've had here and all the nice people i've met. gotta count my blessings
thank you for everything. as imperfect as i am i hope my presence wasn't something negative for this community.

i still don't think i'll be online or be active in the community much at all, also i probably won't even have much time to spend on here starting next year. but i might be here to set some records or maybe upload maps every now and then. if there's anything i can help you about feel free to dm. especially welcome when mapping related