Suminoze

formerly known as

SilentSpica

imagine trying to ruin someone's else life cuz shes a girl, she tries to be good at the game and wants to stream osu! cuz she has a pentium 4 computer which couldnt even run LOL at 15+ fps, also has 10mb/0.7mb internet that goes down a lot (dont even have internet since 1 year ago) but has anemia,headaches everyday, lack of energy, feels like shes going to pass out every day. And also has to take care of her parents cause she lives in the most awful country from latin america and people cant live from a regular job ($7 a month)
imagine just wanting to enjoy something but other people doesnt let you and just tells you to kill yourself every day ONLY BECAUSE YOURE A GIRL AND YOURE TRYING TO ENJOY THE GAME/STREAM.

I avoided ranking system the most i could after people started bullying me, i thought that if i only played unranked maps people would stop being annoyed at me for being "good" (the only thing i consider im good at is speed and i only competed VS MYSELF not others) but ofc it didnt work, also if someone ever recognized my skill (mostly happened long after my quit) i would be neglected and treated as inferior cuz they just said "if its a tranny it doesnt count" like wtf dude c'mon you cant go in every place spreading lies about me cuz im better than your average female user which i dont give a fuck about cuz even if i did said "wohoo im the best female venezuela player" it was just a meme i made cuz girls in my country hated me after i revealed i was a girl!!! but its whatever!! gender=/= skill. And telling someone to kill herself for saying that!!! rly? youre not even being attacked and i didnt say im better than X player? you really have to reconsider what youre doing with your life cuz thats twisted af.

Imagine if i killed myself for real!!! i thought about doing it for real cuz my anxiety got so bad from all this trashtalk/death treats and even having my address leaked!!! i had to deal with this in the game i played to get rid of my stress and somehow help my family from donations??? holy fuck. even my parents were scared when my address got leaked and i dont know anymore we got robbed two times and i dont want to think this is related i just hope it isnt.


people thinks being a girl is easyy, cleavage=ez viewers ez money wohooo but the TRUTH is that being just a sex symbol and just being seen as a streamer they could date is the saddest thing in the world. and then if you reject even a single one of these dudes they try to fuck up your life, start doing chargebacks for donations they've made in the past. are girls just OBJECTS? or i should say GOODS that people think they can buy? I'd say being a guy is easier. and I get mad at this too. coz when people doesnt have to deal with shit... they just cant understand others and think everyone is happy cuz they seem to be smiling !!!
idk anymore if i killed myself they would be happy so i guess...(...)
I just cant understand why a community of a circle clicking game can be this twisted.

I wanted to post this at the moment i quit (jun 2017) and a video but hey! nobody in the osu! community cares if some random girl is getting bullied and is dealing with death treats cuz some player trashtalked her after she rejected him!! and other stuff! (i have so many bad things in my life why would i want more? even if i loved the game people would never stop treating me like trash and entering my streams to say disrespectful things just coz im a girl, even saying i cant be this good if im a girl and they end accusing me of being a guy/trans and telling me to kill myself even more, even tho I'm a girl since i was born, i wish i wasnt a girl so nobody would treat me like shit cuz i have a vagina)

18-01-2020 almost kms cuz caffeine overdose k