Stop saying that you’re Furina's number one fan. You’re not YOU’RE NOT!
I fucking hate it when I open the comment section of a Furina post and I see people saying they are “Furina's number one simp” or anything between those lines. Because you’re not because I already AM. I’ve already claimed that title. I bet most of you aren’t real Furina fans. Real Furina fans (Me) loved her before she got popular. Before her in-game debut. When we only had the icon leak. When she had 9 pixels in total and everyone (who even acknowledged the leak) fucking hated her. THAT’S WHAT QUALIFIES TO EVEN MAKE YOU A FURINA ENJOYER! All of you are fucking fakes. None of you can fucking fathom how much I adore Lady Furina, the God of Justice and Hydro Archon. I have 2 Furina body pillows (That I hide from my family, unfortunately they are normies.) 4 Furina figures (2 of which are duplicates), 5 Furina plushies, mini and large cardboard cut outs and a shit ton of Furina fanarts that I’ve hung in my room.
I am the ONLY true Furina fan. I think of Furina every hour of the day. When I piss, I think about holding hands with Furina while we both piss at a urinal (Or twin toilets if she prefers that, of course). When I eat? I fantasize about spoon feeding Furina. When I sleep? I dream about consensual handholding with Furina, When I shower? I imagine washing off the primordial seawater from Furina's body after Fontaine is swallowed, When I sit? I hallucinate Furina sitting on my lap and boasting about all the amazing things she’s done as I praise her and reassure her that I love her no matter what.