04:30:473 (1,2,3,4) - maybe like that https://imgur.com/a/yPTPG5m?
don't u think that 04:23:807 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13) - could be more spaced considering the kiai after this part?
It seems to me that 01:49:807 (1,2) are not focused enough on the vocals as you did here for example 02:51:140 (1,2,3,4), try copying this pattern here to give more emphasis to the vocals