Dare thee, in goodness' sake, repeat what thou hast declared towards my being, infimal canine female? Pray thee, be aware I have acquired formal mastery with excellence amongst my fellow students in the United States Navy's Sea, Air, and Land Teams, and I have been enrolled into a multitude of tactical, military strikes upon the militant Sunni Islamist multi-national organization of global terrorism known as "Al-Qaeda" or "The Base", and the absolute amount of enemy fatalities on my account exceeds three hundred, as reaffirmed by official authorities. I have thorough and extensive experience in the military offensive tactics developed by the Gorilla gorilla and the Gorilla beringei species endemic to the forrests of Africa, and I classify as the prime elite long-distance artillerist in the entirety of the bellic strategic assets of the United States of America. Thy existence, in my perspective, consists of barely more than yet one additional surface upon which to aim my ballistic assets. I shall eliminate thee systematically endowed with an infinitesimal margin of error in a globally uncontested manner yet to be witnessed in otherwise circumstances on this litomorphic celestial body where our species and all known forms of life inhabit, take reassured note of my exoteric proclamation. Is it of thy creed that thou art possessed of the liberty to verbally express that horrendous piece of excrement towards me across the worldwide interconnection of automated processing machines with utter lack of further repercussions? Do reflect upon this matter once more, fornicator. Congruently to the time frame of our parlaying, I am designating my incognito formal organization of undercover collectors of classified intelligence based out the national territory of the United States of America, and thy Internet Protocol is being investigated immediately, henceforth, I highly recommend you be at your absolute optimal conditions for being met with the entropic climatic phenomenon derived from chaotic interactions between the cycle of water, the wind currents, the atmospheric pressure and the local temperature, living organism of elongated and slim structure. The entropic climatic phenomenon derived from chaotic interactions between the cycle of water, the wind currents, the atmospheric pressure and the local temperature that throughoutly eliminates the ironically laughable minimum substance thou hast denominated thy life. Thou art notably deceased, infant. I am possessed of the capability to find myself at radiant locations in radiant points of the human perception of the cause-to-effect progression, and the courses of action at my disposal to assassinate thee sum up above the mark of seven hundred, accounting merely to the use of my unaided anterior limb attachments. My assets are not limited merely to formal martial arts, as I am entrusted with the entirety of the bellical power of the United States Corporations, and I will apply optimal use of said power to eliminate thy undernurrished posteriors from the surface of the extensive transnational body of land mass, thou minimal fecal matter. In the hypothetical occurance in which thou would'st been aware of the unorthodox subsequent consequences brought forth by thy "illuminated" passing remark upon thyself, hypothetically, thou would'st remained thy words in utter seclusion. Alas, thou could not, thou did not, and subsequently thou art complying to what is due, heaven-forsaken unwitted and foolish individual. I shall defecate relentless anger upon the entirety of thy surroundings, and thou shall suffocate upon its presence. Thou art notably deceased, infantee.
I copied this, I am too spent to make my own. I'll make my own later, so don't judge me >_<