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Tokiwa Yuu - Shounen Ripples (Full ver.)

posted
Total Posts
21
eXseeD
134 posts
Joined February 2009
Topic Starter
eXseeD
This beatmap was submitted using in-game submission on 2012年6月3日 at 18:12:23

Artist: Tokiwa Yuu
Title: Shounen Ripples (Full ver.)
Source: jubeat ripples
Tags: bemani wac pop'n music 19 tune street shounen radio
BPM: 210
Filesize: 8406kb
Play Time: 04:39
Difficulties Available:
  1. EXTREME (5 stars, 1074 notes)
Download: Tokiwa Yuu - Shounen Ripples (Full ver.)
Information: Scores/Beatmap Listing
---------------
for App

enjoy :3
Last edited by eXseeD , edited 81 times in total.
Faust
osu! Alumni
4,783 posts
Joined January 2009
Faust
Here's a 192kbps mp3 >>> Tokiwa Yuu - Shounen Ripples

You currently have a 256kbps one, which exceeds the bitrate regarding the guideline so it's unrankable.

Here's a new BG if you want to use.

Last edited by Faust , edited 1 time in total.
riffy
osu! Alumni
8,060 posts
Joined December 2010
riffy
Yo~

General
Unsnapped kiai. Resnap them please
Please use 1024x768 BG
use 128 - 192 kbps .mp3 file
EXTREME
00:27:820 (6) - new combo
00:34:106 (6) - ^
00:42:820 (8) - ^
01:12:392 (7) - ^
01:12:392 (7) - ^
02:28:392 (1,2,3,4,5) - booooring
02:44:963 (5) - new combo?

looks good
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kiai overuse :|

good luck D:
DarkRingSystem
DarkRingSystem
:)
little mod
[General]
*The BG's resolution is too low try to another good pic

[EX]
00:09:820 (3) - You want to hide this circle in hiden mod? or you should stack it perfectly.

:| It's fine but I think maybe more streams is better for me..
Good luck~
eXseeD
134 posts
Joined February 2009
Topic Starter
eXseeD
Faust,-Bakari-,DarkRingSystem

thank you!!!!
Fix!! :)
Flask
Beatmap Nominator
3,460 posts
Joined July 2011
Flask
Title : Tokiwa Yuu - Shounen Ripples Long ver

Please change to Tokiwa Yuu - Shounen Ripples (Full ver.)


Awesome song ! But if it goes for approval , that's not good ...
eXseeD
134 posts
Joined February 2009
Topic Starter
eXseeD
fixxxx!

thank you:3
Flask
Beatmap Nominator
3,460 posts
Joined July 2011
Flask
GL for you O____<
Lunah
903 posts
Joined November 2011
Lunah
+10\15 OFFSET sounds better
eXseeD
134 posts
Joined February 2009
Topic Starter
eXseeD
fixxxxxxx

thanks!!
YTYuyu
osu! Alumni
4,146 posts
Joined January 2011
YTYuyu
Alright here goes nothing.

General:
Since you changed the offset, re-snap all of the green lines.
umm it still says Tokiwa Yuu - Shounen Ripples Long ver on the website. did you do a full submission?
I think setting the preview time to 206085 is better as the chorus starts.

EXTREME:
00:23:228 (1) - just make it like the next slider. i don't like the look of the slider's end.
00:46:513 (2) - try to make this a 4 or 5 point slider so that it doesn't touch the previous slider.
01:28:942 (4,5) - maybe make these normal default whistles to follow that sound?
01:38:513 (2) - *nazi* move this so that it doesn't touch the previous slider.
01:45:513 (6) - a NC here because of new lyrics.
01:48:942 (7) - ^ like the 3rd combo on the kiai
01:51:228 (6) - ^
01:56:371 (6) - same as 01:45:513
02:05:513 (10) - ^
02:09:228 (7) - ^
02:12:942 (11) - ^
02:23:085 (8) - ^
03:04:942 (5) - same as above but because the vocals start.
03:16:942 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12) - Try replacing these stacks for a 1/4 repeat slider because IMO this looks boring with just stacks. i think putting this pattern would be better as some players need to rest through that repeat slider
03:25:728 (10) - replace this for 3 circle to make it less confusing.
03:27:228 (7) - same as 01:45:513
03:29:513 (7) - ^
03:31:799 (6) - ^
03:34:656 (6) - ^
03:43:513 (8) - get rid of the repeat, add a circle to replace it and make it a NC because of new lyrics.
04:09:799 (8) - make this look the same as (7). i don't like this one because of the look.
04:31:085 - hmm? why don't you add notes to follow the piano?

this is the best I can do. IMO the hitsounds are fine but the combos need a bit of work. GL :D
Last edited by YTYuyu , edited 1 time in total.
Faust
osu! Alumni
4,783 posts
Joined January 2009
Faust
Nah about the forum title, he has to change it manually by editing the first post.
eXseeD
134 posts
Joined February 2009
Topic Starter
eXseeD
all fixxx!!!

thanks!!!
Poggo
1,502 posts
Joined January 2012
Poggo
hi ^^ ;)

EXTREME
00:06:942 - make stream sound better http://puu.sh/qxD6
00:31:942 - ^ add note on 00:32:013 and 00:32:156
01:34:942 - add note
01:35:228 - ^
01:46:085 - ^
02:09:299 - put here normal sounds
02:40:085 - this better sound http://puu.sh/qxGU
02:45:942 - add note and on white big section
02:52:799 - not beautiful slider
272,120,172799,2,0,B|272:248|392:232|392:232,1,187.5
02:58:513 - add note
04:06:942 - this sound better http://puu.sh/qxIN
04:09:656 - ^
04:14:228 - add note


Good luck :3
Asakichi
70 posts
Joined June 2011
Asakichi
リズムに関して提案があります
01:22:656 (1) - スライダーエンドを1/6を使って01:22:990へ
01:23:085 (2) - 同様に1/6を使い01:23:418へ
01:24:942 (1,2) - 同様に1/6がいいと思います
もしこれらの提案を受けるのであれば、同じようなスライダーをすべて修正することになります。
この提案は聞き流してもらってもかまいません。

good luck :D
eXseeD
134 posts
Joined February 2009
Topic Starter
eXseeD
all fixxxx!!


スライダーも1/6にしてみました！こんな感じでしょうか？
Asakichi
70 posts
Joined June 2011
Asakichi
nice!

健闘を祈ります！　star~
Akiyama Mizuki
2,710 posts
Joined March 2009
Akiyama Mizuki
can i make diff
eXseeD
134 posts
Joined February 2009
Topic Starter
eXseeD
I'm sorry.
I want to create only in the EXTREME :cry:
Niva
Global Moderator
3,187 posts
Joined November 2009
Niva
Hi eXseeD~ Random mod here >_<
(I always wanted to mod this song orz :3)

[General]

-> There's this thread already about approval's limitations, but it's not finalized yet (well, just a reminder for you though~)
-> My main concern here is the hitsound:
  1. There's no N:C2 here on the song, so why there's "normal-hitclap2.wav" o.o
  2. Also, although there's an S:C2 usage on the very beginning, I don't see the usage of soft-hitclap2.mp3... I think you can just use the standard S for the beginning >_<
  3. ...And as for now, you can use the S:C2 to emphasize the vocals part with whistles~ Basically just put the S:C2 whistles where Yuu Tokiwa's vocals goes high. Uhm, quite hard to explain here, I've attached the example of the usage of this S:C2 whistles for the first chorus, feel free to take a look >_<
-> Preview point seems a bit off... I'd recommend PreviewTime: 107728 as the chorus starts there xD
-> Hmm, few optional things that you could make are adding "Jun Wakita" to tags and thicken the approachcircle manually (it's quite hard for some players to read patterns you used with thin approachcircles orz), but again it's not a must (:

[EXTREME]

  1. 00:02:085 (1,2) - The new combo should be on (2) (downbeat), also suddenly using 2x repeat on (1) is kinda unintuitive (because your previous four sliders only have one repeat)... I suggest to remove one repeat from (1) and add a circle on 00:02:513~
  2. 00:04:942 (1) - (optional) Add finish on slider's start here, to emphasize the start of the bass - just put it together with your whistle, don't worry it fits (:
  3. 00:05:799 (3) - Make this curved downward - maybe you're not realizing it but your (2,3,4,5) actually forms a windmill pattern already xD
  4. 00:06:656 (5) - Again, (2,3,4,5) actually forms a windmill pattern already, so why not just copy-paste (4) here and rotate it by 90°?
  5. 00:09:799 (4,7,10) - S:C1 Whistles on these three? If you listen carefully to the song, there's this "drums" which fits together with your S:C1s xD
  6. 00:12:942 (1,2) - (optional) To make this part tidier, perhaps stack (2) below (4)'s end? Therefore, you can arrange a slider fan here to keep your pattern flowing (feel free to CTRL+R (1) or (2) though, it fits as well~ )
    SPOILER
  7. 00:13:799 (7) - This slider's end definitely needs a hitfinish. Either soft or normal hitfinish fits both here, but I prefer Normal as its echoing sound fits more xD
  8. 00:18:085 (7) - I'd rather move this to 00:18:828 as the piano doesn't continue here, but it's not a very must~
  9. 00:23:228 (1) - Again here, finish on slider's start to emphasize the vocal part's beginning?
  10. 00:26:371 (2,3) - A very minor stuff here, but perhaps place (2) on x:142 y:180 and (3) on x:79 y:122 so (1,2,3,4)'s diamond formation will space out better? Currently, (3,4) is separated too far on this diamond
  11. 00:29:656 (1,2) - (optional) Rather than stack, I prefer to continue your (7)'s flow by curving (2) rightward, but of course it's fully optional~
  12. 00:31:942 (3,4,5,6,7,8,9) - Eh, no need to reduce the spacing on (9) I think, you can just simply move (3) closer to (2), create a less narrow arc here, and place (9) directly beside (8) with 0.8x spacing:
    SPOILER
  13. 00:34:656 (2) - (optional) Stack this to your previous 00:33:085 (2)? Will be tidier this way imo~
  14. 00:38:085 (10) - Move 1/2 later? The vocals stopped on (9), so it's best to move this 1/2 later to accompany the drum sound on (11) >_<
  15. 00:40:513 (7,8,9,10) - This jump here is quite random. Perhaps arrange it like this to make it less random (with (8) stacked above your next (1))? - Don't worry about (9)'s overlap, your AR here is fast enough so the overlap won't be visible on play mode :3
    SPOILER
  16. 00:45:085 (1) - I understand you want to use a manual-stacking with (2)'s start here, but perhaps try to manual-stack this on the bottom-left or bottom-right of (2) instead of its left?
  17. 00:45:942 (7) - I'd rather move this to x:258 y:176 so (4,6,7)'s distance is equal... Minor stuff though >_<
  18. 00:50:371 (1) - It will be very easy for players to combo-break here (1/8 repeating sliders on 210 BPM o.o) - uhm, well, as actually it builds up a solid rhythm already I suggest to remove one repeat from this slider xD
  19. 00:53:656 (2) - Don't stop your N sampleset here orz >_<
  20. 00:59:799 (1) - I'm not really sure about this, but this looks like it's continuing the previous stream (1/4 rhythms). I'd move this few grids more to the left to increase readability (: (2-3 lv4 grids should be enough)
  21. 01:04:371 (12) - Again here, I recommend normal-hitfinish as the atmosphere alters here :3
  22. 01:09:513 (5,6,8) - Not sure if linear slider flows good on (5), I'd prefer a triangle jump here:
    SPOILER
  23. 01:13:228 (6) – Finish on slider’s end?
  24. 01:16:656 (8,9,11) - Same as 01:09:513 (5,6,8) here, a perfect triangle jump would be good here - In this case, you only need to move (9) more to the left and (11) more upward :3
  25. 01:22:228 (6,7,8) - (optional I think it would deliver more energy here if you unstack these and create a wider jump... The song goes hectic here xD
  26. 01:26:228 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7) - To be honest (2) to (3) isn't a good anti-jump imo, my mind thinks that (3) should be upward instead... I'd prefer an accelerated spacing formation like this with (7) as its focus:
    SPOILER
  27. 01:29:799 (2) - Again, this anti-jump is quite unintuitive... Stack to (3)'s start instead?
  28. 01:31:513 (10,11) - Same as I mentioned before - it's quite easy to combo-break on 210 BPM 1/8 repeating sliders. Remove one repeat?
  29. 01:44:942 (1,2,3,4,5) - (optional) To be honest, I don't think you should force an S-shaped stream with five notes... An arc-shaped stream plays more natural here imo, try this code:
    64,208,104942,5,0
    80,196,105013,1,0
    88,176,105085,1,0
    84,156,105156,1,0
    72,136,105228,2,0,B|52:96|80:60|80:60,1,75
  30. 01:46:942 (2) - Use N:C1 on slider's start here - without it sounds kinda empty >_<
  31. 01:52:942 (5,6,7,8) - In here, I really recommend to unstack (8) from (7) and continue the square pattern and (if possible) enlarge the square~
  32. 01:55:371 (3) - (optional) For flow, why don't you just use a bezier curve here encircling (2)? It's not that hard to create (just revert the linear waypoint to bezier), yet it flows better imo xD
  33. 01:57:513 (2,3,4) - Minor stuff, but these three needs to be moved few grids up altogether so (1,2,3,4) will create a more equal angle
  34. 02:10:085 (7,8) - (optional) Back-and-forth formation here? The vocals here allows to create an excellent jump >_<
  35. 02:17:799 (2,3,4) - Also, due to how the vocal sounded, it will be much better to use slider + two circles here instead of two circles + slider (you can just swap their positions, though~)
  36. 02:26:656 (1,2,3,4,5,6,...) - Although it's playable, but still this jump can be made tidier by rotating each sequence by 120° like this:
    SPOILER
  37. 02:40:656 (6) - ...Is this note really required? There's only silence here on the song, which means this slider follows nothing... I'd rather delete this to emphasize the break, but it's up to you~
  38. 02:44:371 (1) - Remove new combo - Your previous 02:39:799 (3) doesn't have a new combo on it, so it's better to remove this one for consistency :3
  39. 02:56:371 (2) - I don't quite get the usage of clap here... It's usable, yes, but I think finish is better here because there's a cymbal sound from the song here...
  40. 03:03:656 (3) - 3/4 gap between notes is quite confusing here imo... I think it's better to follow the synth instead by adding note on 03:03:513 (x), stacked above (3), and 03:03:942 (x), stacked above (4) - yes, it will be more distinctive because the synth are played in doubles like this~
  41. 03:05:513 (6) - Put new combo here if you want as it's a proper downbeat to put one - however, don't put it if you think the combo will be too short
  42. 03:12:799 (3,4,5,6) - The jump from (3) to (4) is very unintuitive, hard to predict they're actually 1/2 apart. A jump where all four's distance are set to equal should be intuitive enough on this part, like this for example:
    SPOILER
  43. 03:23:799 (1,2,3) - Rather than a silent 5% part here, I suggest to use a standard soft sampleset (S) here with 25% hitsound - there are some parts here where default soft-hitwhistle sounds good, for example (1)'s end~
  44. 03:25:728 (10) - I really, reeeeeally suggest to face the repeat arrow upward to avoid clustering (thus increases readability)
  45. 03:26:085 (1) - ...uh, sure with soft-hitfinish here? Normal-hitfinish fits a lot more imo o.o
  46. 03:31:085 (2,3,4) - Basically same as what I've mostly suggested before about the jumps, rather than a sudden jump from (3) to (4) it would be much more readable to accelerate the spacing starting from (2) - well, this one isn't hart to catch though (:
  47. 03:47:799 (6) - Move to x:176 y:344? Might sound trivial, but this reduces clustering as this slider is placed further from (4) ^_^
  48. 03:57:085 (3,4) - (optional) I'd rather unstack these two from (5) and let it be one more jump here... You already have a stack on (5,6), placing too many stacks here don't fit the song's atmosphere I think o.o
  49. 04:03:371 (2,3) - Suddenly using linear slider here feels weird imo, as your next (4) is curved in bezier... Hmm, well, if you want to keep your linearity I think you should combine it with bezier waypoint(s) like this:
    SPOILER
  50. 04:08:799 (6) - Eh... Why don't you stack this to (2)'s start instead? Will be tidier this way~
  51. 04:13:513 (8,9,10) - I personally disliked the jump from (7) to (8)... I think it will be more intuitive if you can make (7,8,9,10)'s spacing equal by placing (8) below (3)'s end and adjusting (9) based on what you see now :3
  52. 04:20:656 (10) - (optional) As the previous stream is a curved moving stream, curve this slider slightly as well? To the leftward a bit should do (:
  53. 04:29:513 (1) - Same as what I previously suggested about 1/8 sliders. Remove one repeat so players won't combobreak easily?
  54. 04:30:656 (1) - There are no 1/4s on the ending - just all 1/2s, really >_<
Although the hitsound is the main problem here imo, but overall it's (very) well-constructed map - great skin, great patterns, and the most important : fun-to-play~

Star, good luck on this map eXseeD :3

EDIT : Forgot to mention this, but to complete the set for approval it's always good to find a Taiko guest diff for this one (although it's not a must) ~

Download: Hitsound.rar
eXseeD
134 posts
Joined February 2009
Topic Starter
eXseeD
all fixxxxxxxxx!!!

thank you~!!!!! :)
BanchoBot
w00t p00t
34,830 posts
Here since the beginning
BanchoBot
This modding thread has been migrated to the new "modding discussions" system. Please make sure to re-post any existing (and unresolved) efforts to the new system as required.
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