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Appealing body figures, preferences and opinions.

posted
Total Posts
281
boat
2,369 posts
Joined February 2010
Topic Starter
boat
First of all, my apologies for the confusing title and my half assed english, I'm not in a very good mood right now, and my typing is generally rather shoddy to begin with as english is not my native nor second language. Hopefully it is interpretative enough.


So the thing is, there is this guy i know, a very close friend of mine, who seems to be severely depressed due to his appearance, mainly his body and figure. He quite often is very saddened and down because he believes that his appearance is not good enough for the standards of the people he wants to look appealing for. He has a nice build, he isn't fat, but isn't an anorexic twig either, but yet he is an incredible harsh critic on himself, and it hurts me very much to see him like this. What i mainly want is to get into his head that if your looks doesn't go with ones preference, then that does not in any way mean that you are ugly.


You don't need to be model skinny to look pretty, and a little bit of chub doesn't mean that you're a fat and ugly cow. Everyone has their own preferences, but what looks not appealing to you isn't instantly unappealing (ugly), just because you yourself think that you're ugly, then that doesn't mean that someone else wont find you as appealing, and when someone who matters to you calls you good looking, then it is just offensive to reply and say that you are not. That is just calling the person a liar, and it does not make me feel appreciated at all, despite that i mean what i say.


So basically, tell me your opinion of what an appealing or "not bad looking" person is, and you most likely by now understand what I'm on about. I just want him to know that he should stop being so immature and listen to what people have to say. Most people dislike their own looks in one way or another, but what might be unappealing to you can just as well be very much appealing to someone else.
Backfire
3,204 posts
Joined February 2010
Backfire
I think everyone is beautiful on their own accords.

Anyways, what appeals to me is someone who has nice hair, nice skin, and nice eyes. I could care less about how big or small they are.
...If it's a girl I like 'em short though.
Boys? Tall <3
boat
2,369 posts
Joined February 2010
Topic Starter
boat

Backfire wrote:

I think everyone is beautiful on their own accords.
Everyone have their own appeal in one way or another.

Of course a person who does not take care of him or herself at all can look unappealing, but if you aren't that then you shouldn't claim yourself to be.
Shiirn
2,896 posts
Joined August 2010
Shiirn
It's natural for certain types of body styles to garner sexual attention more than others - however, humanity has evolved to the point where these instinctive hormonal cues are no longer enough to truly desire another person as a long-term mate. You can also attribute social pressures, both telling people that "you should want to bone / be boned by THIS type of person" AND "personality is more important than a nice ass".

Things like this are utterly contradictive, so confusion is natural. It's up to the person in question as to whether they will follow certain social cues or not.

Clearly, your friend is too stuck up on the "looks make the person" side, to the point that his personality is also being affected.
Being told you are appealing means nothing if you don't believe it yourself, so what he needs is...well, he needs to find that.

I for one hate how tall and large i am, but apparently that's something that a lot of people like in a man. I'll let the social cue for that go since it's not being negative to me.
Rewcal
23 posts
Joined May 2011
Rewcal
To put it simply: In my opinion, if the person your friend is trying to attract would turn them down based on their looks, they weren't worth it in the first place.
boat
2,369 posts
Joined February 2010
Topic Starter
boat
That is true, but the person he is trying to attract claims him as good looking, yet he still argues against.
Shiirn
2,896 posts
Joined August 2010
Shiirn
There's a certain amount of healthiness in "I want to be prettier for my other half", but that's taking it too far heh.
YellowerYoshi
197 posts
Joined March 2009
YellowerYoshi
I definitely am into the brawnier guys. Not huge muscle heads or anything... bigger guys that have a little definition. Also a nice gut is glorious for me. My tastes would be considered far out of "the norm" to mainstream society, in part because I like dudes and in part because my tastes aren't "hunky guys with no fat and huge pecs" like you usually see in the media.

Honestly, a little chubby is incredibly attractive to me.
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Cuddlebun
Some muscles and a beard are the only criteria for looks for me.

As for your friend, failboat, he's the kind of person I try to cheer up for a while and then leave them alone because people like that tend not to listen to whatever positive thing you're saying. If he wants to think like that despite whatever everyone around him tells him, then let him.
FisHie_old
742 posts
Joined November 2009
FisHie_old
what ama ia doing here

I like everyone
Vext_old
987 posts
Joined October 2010
Vext_old

failboat wrote:

What i mainly want is to get into his head that if your looks doesn't go with ones preference, then that does not in any way mean that you are ugly.
You know I once told Firo that brown hair and curly hair were not my favorites, it did not go well. If you're curious, favorite is black straight hair, bonus points if an unnatural color or black with pink highlights/streaks.
But of course like any sane person she realized I love her hair and it didn't matter if it was my favorite kind or not.
All-in-all, appearance means nothing when it comes to love. If Firo was 400 pounds and had a mustache I'd still love her, I would probably avoid sex but hey. If the person can't love you when you don't look incredible then they don't love you for you, only what you look to be.
Shellghost
543 posts
Joined March 2009
Shellghost
Everyone is ugly and deluded.

I'm ugly. I make myself think that I am average looking through observational comparison and self serving compromise.

"Beautiful" people are ugly. People have instinctive influence in their preference for other people's appearance such as fitness and strength, however most of this has been overcome with media advertising and peer pressure basically telling us what we should think is attractive and placing those people on a higher social status than others. It can be easily presumed that this is where your friend's self loathing originates from.

You all know this, you knew what I was going to say as you were reading it, but we seem to have trouble retaining the idea outside of discussion.
Pokebis
2,047 posts
Joined April 2008
Pokebis
Show him the internet. The way I see it is no matter how you look there's some sick fuck out there who would still want to bone you based on some random feature you can't even think of because people have weird fetishes.
Ephemeral
Inland Empire
3,945 posts
Joined April 2009
Ephemeral
what your friend has is probably a symptom of depression rather than any implicit aspect of his personality

in my experience appearances are ultimately secondary or tertiary to other traits in a prospective partner. you simply don't care about the little things when you find a person you really like.
lkjl23
207 posts
Joined July 2010
lkjl23

Shiirn wrote:

It's natural for certain types of body styles to garner sexual attention more than others - however, humanity has evolved to the point where these instinctive hormonal cues are no longer enough to truly desire another person as a long-term mate. You can also attribute social pressures, both telling people that "you should want to bone / be boned by THIS type of person" AND "personality is more important than a nice ass".

Things like this are utterly contradictive, so confusion is natural. It's up to the person in question as to whether they will follow certain social cues or not.

Clearly, your friend is too stuck up on the "looks make the person" side, to the point that his personality is also being affected.
Being told you are appealing means nothing if you don't believe it yourself, so what he needs is...well, he needs to find that.

I for one hate how tall and large i am, but apparently that's something that a lot of people like in a man. I'll let the social cue for that go since it's not being negative to me.
Don't know what world you live in buddy, but being overweight isn't attractive at all. Anyone that says looks don't matter are in serious denial. Then again I guess that's their defense mechanism of coping with their own looks. Going out with fat people is like rewarding bad behavior. Shows that you don't care even for your own health, and that's not very attractive.
Vext_old
987 posts
Joined October 2010
Vext_old

NeverDie wrote:

being overweight isn't attractive at all.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Beautiful_Woman
lkjl23
207 posts
Joined July 2010
lkjl23

Vext wrote:

NeverDie wrote:

being overweight isn't attractive at all.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Beautiful_Woman
I'd like to see hot guys going out with fat chicks. Ugly people will go out with ugly people, and good looking people will go out with good looking people. Bird of a feather, flock together. Sure there's some exceptions, kind of like how some polar bears have mated with grizzly bears, but those are nothing more than just that, exceptions, and will never be the norm. It's evolution's way of weeding out weak and bad genetics and promoting only the best in the long run.


Inb4 I get flamed for this.
Shiirn
2,896 posts
Joined August 2010
Shiirn
Just saying, i think Darwin was thrown out the window when a handful of human beings built an atomic bomb. Scales kind of tipped ever since we started burning coal and charged a bundle of copper wires from a rotating water mill, it's no longer survival of the fittest. Humanity isn't based off of "who can run fastest" or "who can hit the hardest" anymore - heck, we've actually reverted those practices into sport rather than serious living.

As such, while obesity and other health issues surely do exist, and social standing despises it, it remains at the source simply instinctive. It's "bad" and all, but I hardly see any reason to consider yourself better than someone less healthy than you when they're just as likely to be smarter or "make up for" it in other ways.

You seem to be under the impression that being able to bench-press your own weight will save you from a financial crisis - it won't.

Sexual impulses of course lead via physical appearance, but that's not important anymore.

Also, absurd cases of obesity fall under the "fail to take care of self" clause unless there are actual extenuating circumstances (none of the fake baw-crap that's actually a lack of willpower)


I'm not going to argue with you specifically about this, neverdie - since you're under the impression i'm severely overweight (have you seen me?)


@Ephemeral: appearances, while being secondary or tertiary, are also rather important as more often than not it shows how much a person cares for their own body (or, conversely, does not care about who they are on the inside if they over-do it [cough, we all know a person like this]) which is a rather important part of a person's psyche.
lkjl23
207 posts
Joined July 2010
lkjl23

Shiirn wrote:

Just saying, i think Darwin was thrown out the window when a handful of human beings built an atomic bomb. Scales kind of tipped ever since we started burning coal and charged a bundle of copper wires from a rotating water mill, it's no longer survival of the fittest. Humanity isn't based off of "who can run fastest" or "who can hit the hardest" anymore - heck, we've actually reverted those practices into sport rather than serious living.

As such, while obesity and other health issues surely do exist, and social standing despises it, it remains at the source simply instinctive. It's "bad" and all, but I hardly see any reason to consider yourself better than someone less healthy than you when they're just as likely to be smarter or "make up for" it in other ways.

You seem to be under the impression that being able to bench-press your own weight will save you from a financial crisis - it won't.

I'm not going to argue with you specifically about this, neverdie - since you're under the impression i'm severely overweight (have you seen me?)


@Ephemeral: appearances, while being secondary or tertiary, are also rather important as more often than not it shows how much a person cares for their own body (or, conversely, does not care about who they are on the inside if they over-do it [cough, we all know a person like this]) which is a rather important part of a person's psyche.
The importance of being physically fit of course are not logically needed too much in this day and age, but evolution takes hundreds of thousands of years. It does not change the fact we still feel great sexual urges for someone that's fit over someone that isn't. That's not going to change for thousands of years to come. But I understand that you're trying to find ways to justify it all, but sadly that just isn't reality. And I remember how you told me your height and body weight. You're over 50 pounds overweight. Last time I checked, that's a lot of fat to be carrying around.
Vext_old
987 posts
Joined October 2010
Vext_old

NeverDie wrote:

Ugly people will go out with ugly people, and good looking people will go out with good looking people. Bird of a feather, flock together.
Can't agree with that one either, Firo is beautiful and I'm nothing special.
Firo Prochainezo
2,140 posts
Joined June 2010
Firo Prochainezo

Vext wrote:

NeverDie wrote:

Ugly people will go out with ugly people, and good looking people will go out with good looking people. Bird of a feather, flock together.
Can't agree with that one either, Firo is beautiful and I'm nothing special.
Shush. That's not true.
Nekoroll
513 posts
Joined May 2010
Nekoroll
Shiirn definitely brings a valid point to this. How you take care of yourself on the outside is a somewhat relatively good indicator for the people around you to at least have a good idea of how you view yourself.

Everyone is going to feel self-conscious about themselves whether it is about their weight, teeth, hair, nose or something. Failboat, I would ask the person that your friend likes to express something physical about himself that he feels incredibly uncomfortable about. Perhaps it would help your friend feel a little better and understand that everyone is going to have that little something about themselves that they don't like but to overcome that feeling and accept yourself will make you look even more attractive in others' eyes. I feel that obsessing over your insecurities will make you appear less attractive overall and less ready for any potential relationship. Like they say, if you can't love (or at least accept) yourself, how can your partner expect you to love them?

As for me, I don't have a particular body figure that I am particularly attracted with. I have been with obese, average and skinny men and I can tell you that while all of them were self-conscious to a degree, they were all motivated to either lose weight or gain weight in order to feel better about themselves and for me. As Shiirn mentioned, I knew that they weren't just fat (or skinny, lol) slobs or anything and that they actually were proactive about their lives and wanted to do things to continuously improve themselves and showed me what kind of person they were. Things like this are great in a person and tbh, is a turn on for me as well as others, I'm sure.

To be honest, some of my worst relationships were with men who were fit, muscular, and defined because they didn't feel like they had to do much to express themselves in creative or interesting ways and this in turn made the relationship feel incredibly bland and boring. I always laugh when I see them flopping in and out of relationships that only last a couple months and ask all their friends why they can't keep girls.

I'm sorry but while looks are still very important, they can only go so far. Good looks will hook you, but a good personality will keep you.

The world is not purely black and white.
Sleep Powder
1,540 posts
Joined October 2008
Sleep Powder

YellowerYoshi wrote:

I definitely am into the brawnier guys. Not huge muscle heads or anything... bigger guys that have a little definition. Also a nice gut is glorious for me. My tastes would be considered far out of "the norm" to mainstream society, in part because I like dudes and in part because my tastes aren't "hunky guys with no fat and huge pecs" like you usually see in the media.

Honestly, a little chubby is incredibly attractive to me.
I like the same kind of men as you~ My dream man is someone who is calm, intelligent, cocky, witty, optimistic and caring. I prefer some sort of muscular build and I don't really like skinny men unless they're short and cute. They usually need to have nice hair and they can't be feminine because I don't find femininity attractive. I like some arm hair and some leg hair. Skin isn't a huge issue for me, but there is a limit for how much I can take. I don't like curly hair though.
YellowerYoshi
197 posts
Joined March 2009
YellowerYoshi

NeverDie wrote:

Shiirn wrote:

It's natural for certain types of body styles to garner sexual attention more than others - however, humanity has evolved to the point where these instinctive hormonal cues are no longer enough to truly desire another person as a long-term mate. You can also attribute social pressures, both telling people that "you should want to bone / be boned by THIS type of person" AND "personality is more important than a nice ass".

Things like this are utterly contradictive, so confusion is natural. It's up to the person in question as to whether they will follow certain social cues or not.

Clearly, your friend is too stuck up on the "looks make the person" side, to the point that his personality is also being affected.
Being told you are appealing means nothing if you don't believe it yourself, so what he needs is...well, he needs to find that.

I for one hate how tall and large i am, but apparently that's something that a lot of people like in a man. I'll let the social cue for that go since it's not being negative to me.
Don't know what world you live in buddy, but being overweight isn't attractive at all. Anyone that says looks don't matter are in serious denial. Then again I guess that's their defense mechanism of coping with their own looks. Going out with fat people is like rewarding bad behavior. Shows that you don't care even for your own health, and that's not very attractive.
Attractiveness is subjective. Clearly you didn't see my post about my own attractions, because in my eye a little fat is definitely attractive. I don't know where you got the idea that attraction is one global idea. You are only stating what is or isn't attractive to you. Everyone has a different idea of what they like, lumping everything together molded into your opinion is a little ignorant.
lkjl23
207 posts
Joined July 2010
lkjl23

YellowerYoshi wrote:

Attractiveness is subjective. Clearly you didn't see my post about my own attractions, because in my eye a little fat is definitely attractive. I don't know where you got the idea that attraction is one global idea. You are only stating what is or isn't attractive to you. Everyone has a different idea of what they like, lumping everything together molded into your opinion is a little ignorant.
My statement still applies based on the simple fact you wouldn't go for someone 100 pounds overweight. I'm still right because any girl will obviously prefer a great body with nice muscles over one that has 25+ pounds of extra fat. Just because you'll settle for less doesn't change anything. Different people have different standards and what you settle for says a lot about you to everyone.
Mogsy
osu! Alumni
3,450 posts
Here since the beginning
Mogsy

Ephemeral wrote:

in my experience appearances are ultimately secondary or tertiary to other traits in a prospective partner. you simply don't care about the little things when you find a person you really like.
I agree with this entire sentiment here. Should looks truly matter as long as they are still the person you fell in love with?

NeverDie wrote:

Don't know what world you live in buddy, but being overweight isn't attractive at all. Anyone that says looks don't matter are in serious denial. Then again I guess that's their defense mechanism of coping with their own looks. Going out with fat people is like rewarding bad behavior. Shows that you don't care even for your own health, and that's not very attractive.
Statements like this are quite annoying. Emphasizing the points I will be addressing the most. Oh wait, that's most of your statement right there. I'll go piece by piece, to avoid confusion.

Anyone that says looks don't matter are in serious denial.
What about asexuals? Would you claim that asexuality is a conscious denial of these urges or is it truly something that cannot be helped?

Personally, I don't give a shit about weight when it comes to other people. I don't have an expected 'weight' for someone to be attractive at in my mind; if they pull off what they've got and work with what they've got, well, they're attractive.

Then again I guess that's their defense mechanism of coping with their own looks.
It's people like you that cause situation like the OP's friend, you're the enablers. It makes them believe that unless they reach this extremely high standard, regardless of body type and metabolism, that they look absolutely awful.

Going out with fat people is like rewarding bad behavior. Shows that you don't care even for your own health, and that's not very attractive.
Do you understand how the human body works? Or the fact that there are different body types and metabolism rates?

Let's take a good friend of mine. He's overweight and has been for a good portion of his life. Even when he wasn't overweight, he was still naturally chubby. He still eats well and exercises regularly. He's overweight, but his BMI is decent and he has outstanding blood pressure and healthy cholesterol. Another friend is still chubby and has a terrible BMI, but his blood pressure and cholesterol are in check. Can't say these two are really unhealthy, their bodies are just not inclined towards the societal standard.

Also, yes, there will be people who settle on those who are 'more attractive'. Because that's what they like. But I digress.
Shinde
osu! Alumni
707 posts
Joined April 2009
Shinde
I think NeverDie sounds like an asscunt.

OK, that's all I came here for. Mission accomplished. *goes back to eating an entire pizza*
Vext_old
987 posts
Joined October 2010
Vext_old

NeverDie wrote:

My statement still applies based on the simple fact you wouldn't go for someone 100 pounds overweight. I'm still right because any girl will obviously prefer a great body with nice muscles over one that has 25+ pounds of extra fat. Just because you'll settle for less doesn't change anything. Different people have different standards and what you settle for says a lot about you to everyone.
I know several women who are not attracted to muscles. I know quite a lot who love the skinny scrawny nerd as well. For myself, I would rather they be overweight than underweight. Also I like how you forget that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and changes every day. Years ago the ridiculously large booty was standard as the utmost sexiness. Before that they thought being fat was attractive, not overweight, fat. Find another country and those long droopy earlobes get you so much booty. The fact that your opinion on beauty is so stereotypical and bland without acknowledging that not all men love huge boobies on blonds with super model bodies, and not all women love tall muscle-bound men says volumes about your maturity. You have my pity good sir.
YellowerYoshi
197 posts
Joined March 2009
YellowerYoshi

animask wrote:

I like the same kind of men as you~ My dream man is someone who is calm, intelligent, cocky, witty, optimistic and caring. I prefer some sort of muscular build and I don't really like skinny men unless they're short and cute. They usually need to have nice hair and they can't be feminine because I don't find femininity attractive. I like some arm hair and some leg hair. Skin isn't a huge issue for me, but there is a limit for how much I can take. I don't like curly hair though.
Haha, you earn cool points. You're the second person that I've run into with my tastes. <3

As for the "I still wouldn't like someone 100 pounds overweight" statement

NeverDie wrote:

My statement still applies based on the simple fact you wouldn't go for someone 100 pounds overweight. I'm still right because any girl will obviously prefer a great body with nice muscles over one that has 25+ pounds of extra fat. Just because you'll settle for less doesn't change anything. Different people have different standards and what you settle for says a lot about you to everyone.
Who said I wouldn't go for guys 100 pounds overweight? I find a gut extremely attractive. As for what girls want... haven't you heard of chubby chasers?
Shiirn
2,896 posts
Joined August 2010
Shiirn
by the way, i love straight black hair. Especially if it's not too shiny or tends to flow rather than bunch up. The longer the better, although reaching the waist is kind of pushing it from a practical standpoint.

Weight isn't precisely a non-issue, but i'd be just as repulsed by someone 50lbs underweight as 50lbs overweight so out go the fashion models with bony hips.

And I hate the look of eyeliner. makes me want to throw up, in all seriousness. makes me nauseous. no-makeup is more important than throwing gloss and blush and crap on.

Oh, and shorter than me. but that's rather common, so not as important.

(i noticed i had never actually stated preferences at all despite this thread being about them)
Firo Prochainezo
2,140 posts
Joined June 2010
Firo Prochainezo
ITT: Describe your ideal woman/man
Drakari_old
366 posts
Joined August 2011
Drakari_old
Hmm... Lots of serious discussion with well thought out arguments and organized structure.

By comparison, I'm just here to cite Rule 36 and be done with it. After all, it's not what YOU think of your body that really matters, right?
Vext_old
987 posts
Joined October 2010
Vext_old

Firo Prochainezo wrote:

ITT: Describe your ideal woman/man

Perfection.
Firo Prochainezo
2,140 posts
Joined June 2010
Firo Prochainezo

Vext wrote:

Firo Prochainezo wrote:

ITT: Describe your ideal woman/man

Perfection.
;_;
Sleep Powder
1,540 posts
Joined October 2008
Sleep Powder

Vext wrote:

Firo Prochainezo wrote:

ITT: Describe your ideal woman/man

Perfection.
The moustache really brings out her eyes.
Firo Prochainezo
2,140 posts
Joined June 2010
Firo Prochainezo
;__________;
foulcoon
osu! Alumni
1,384 posts
Joined July 2008
foulcoon

NeverDie wrote:

YellowerYoshi wrote:

Attractiveness is subjective. Clearly you didn't see my post about my own attractions, because in my eye a little fat is definitely attractive. I don't know where you got the idea that attraction is one global idea. You are only stating what is or isn't attractive to you. Everyone has a different idea of what they like, lumping everything together molded into your opinion is a little ignorant.
My statement still applies based on the simple fact you wouldn't go for someone 100 pounds overweight. I'm still right because any girl will obviously prefer a great body with nice muscles over one that has 25+ pounds of extra fat. Just because you'll settle for less doesn't change anything. Different people have different standards and what you settle for says a lot about you to everyone.
i think a lot of girls would prefer me to you even though I'm somewhat overweight just because you have tits and you look like you tan to the point of wannabe guido. also you seem like a major douche.
Haseo_old
742 posts
Joined May 2011
Haseo_old
Everyone has their own distinct opinion on what an appealing person is. An appealing person for me is someone who doesn't try to dazzle others with heavy gloss lipstick and 2 inch high heels, but someone who likes to stay simple and doesn't stray away from his/her own self.

Ideal girl?
Quiet, simple, cute, doesn't have big breasts,smart and has glasses.
Last edited by Haseo_old , edited 2 times in total.
mathexpert
1,699 posts
Joined March 2011
mathexpert

NeverDie wrote:

I'm still right because any girl will obviously prefer a great body with nice muscles over one that has 25+ pounds of extra fat. Just because you'll settle for less doesn't change anything. Different people have different standards and what you settle for says a lot about you to everyone.
What a goddamn asshole, seriously. How old are you again?

Why do you assume people are even settling for less? To you maybe, but to the beholder definitely not. I have a girl that I like, and I can honestly say I wouldn't trade her for anybody else. seriously. Is she a little overweight? Sure. Do I give a fuck? No. Maybe just a gender difference, but I put character traits first and looks and appearances last. Someone can be a supermodel but if you have a assholey attitude about life I really don't care, but if she has subpar looks but is sweet, caring, and cute, than she will always be miles ahead.

My ideal girl
shy, caring, cute, smart, sweet <3
Fabi
1,130 posts
Joined September 2009
Fabi

failboat wrote:

So basically, tell me your opinion of what an appealing or "not bad looking" person is, and you most likely by now understand what I'm on about. I just want him to know that he should stop being so immature and listen to what people have to say. Most people dislike their own looks in one way or another, but what might be unappealing to you can just as well be very much appealing to someone else.
It is true, in fact, that everybody has their own taste for what they think a "good or bad looking person is", what it is slightly different is the common taste from a % people, let's call it statistics. Since, we can't make an statistics for obviously reason, we can just "cheer him up" by telling our own taste or giving him some "tips". This is my own opinion, when socializing he should really take in consideration that almost all the people think about you like this: 1) First impression 2) Appearance 3) Personality 4) Other shits. <-- This order can vary.
About your friend getting depressed because of his appearance, there is nothing we can do than just "cheer him up", he should take in consideration opinions and tips from people who care about him and professionals!. He is the only one who should face the reality, there is no magical world where all the people likes him, just different people having their own taste. It is okey to care a bit about appeareance, so, tell him not to get deppresed, it obviously won't help him. Damn, people should be more confident >__<.
Baaaaaai baaaaaaaaai!
maal
maal

Shellghost wrote:

Everyone is ugly and deluded.

I'm ugly. I make myself think that I am average looking through observational comparison and self serving compromise.

"Beautiful" people are ugly. People have instinctive influence in their preference for other people's appearance such as fitness and strength, however most of this has been overcome with media advertising and peer pressure basically telling us what we should think is attractive and placing those people on a higher social status than others. It can be easily presumed that this is where your friend's self loathing originates from.

You all know this, you knew what I was going to say as you were reading it, but we seem to have trouble retaining the idea outside of discussion.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
boat
2,369 posts
Joined February 2010
Topic Starter
boat

foulcoon wrote:

i think a lot of girls would prefer me to you even though I'm somewhat overweight just because you have tits and you look like you tan to the point of wannabe guido. also you seem like a major douche.
5/5
hoihoisoi
134 posts
Joined May 2011
hoihoisoi
Frankly, how did this discussion turn from talking about failboat's friend's prob to what kind of person do you find attractive......I mean, just wondering, seems kinda derailed a wee bit.

In my opinion, I'd go out with any girl who has good character. I would be lying if I say I do not care how the girl I'm going out with looks, I mean there gotta be some limitations, I might sound selfish here, but that's just my personal opinion. But basically, I think character and the ability to click together is the most important thing in a relationship, it doesn't matter how one looks, as long as you are happy and can have a stable relationship with one another, I'd say that is a pretty good relationship you are in.

I believe that the world is very fair, there is nothing perfect. So everybody wins some and lose some. It's all about the ability to click with your soul mate and have a stable and calm relationship that eventually gets you to the Good Ending in relationships.

(Although, I have to say, I am still clearly a lolicon otaku gamer and I love short cute flat girls from anime/manga that are extremely shy and not tsundere, also I have never dated anyone so I guess I'm just using whatever of my knowledge to give my own opinion. Also, sorry if I offended anyone, this is just my personal opinion, it just stands as an opinion, nothing else)
Last edited by hoihoisoi , edited 1 time in total.
boat
2,369 posts
Joined February 2010
Topic Starter
boat

hoihoisoi wrote:

Frankly, how did this discussion turn from talking about failboat's friend's prob to what kind of person do you find attractive......I mean, just wondering, seems kinda derailed a wee bit.
Asked for in the OP.

Not implying that there is anything wrong with what you wrote, just posting to let you and the rest know that it is on topic.
hoihoisoi
134 posts
Joined May 2011
hoihoisoi

failboat wrote:

hoihoisoi wrote:

Frankly, how did this discussion turn from talking about failboat's friend's prob to what kind of person do you find attractive......I mean, just wondering, seems kinda derailed a wee bit.
Asked for in the OP.

Not implying that there is anything wrong with what you wrote, just posting to let you and the rest know that it is on topic.
I didn't see that. Sorry, I'm blur very often......

Also just asking, what is OP....? I still kinda get confused with short forms used on this forums.
boat
2,369 posts
Joined February 2010
Topic Starter
boat
Short for "Original Poster", basically the first post in the thread, the topic.

-

Affection towards ones personality is far greater then it is for ones appearance. I mean, all of your friends most likely aren't pretty, right? Yet you still have them as friends. If someone is nice and caring towards you, then it is very much easy to fall in love no matter how they look.

I am glad for how well this thread started off, and i very much appreciate all of your effort and thought. Big thanks to all of you.

Except for you NeverDie, you're a faget.
hoihoisoi
134 posts
Joined May 2011
hoihoisoi

failboat wrote:

Short for "Original Poster", basically the first post in the thread, the topic.
I see, thanks. In another forum they used TS that stood for 'Thread Starter'.

In any case, hope your words of encouragement can help your fried to boost his self confidence up. All the best.
D33d
1,697 posts
Joined April 2011
D33d
Appearance is certainly a very compelling factor in choosing a partner, but we have developed as a species. Unless one always goes for insipid, brain-dead floozies (NeverDie strikes me as the type, but I'm not one to say for sure), people won't prioritise appearance over personality. If neither detracts from the other, then there is no problem.

My personal preference for either gender would be "everything in moderation." I love a lean and toned figure, as long as it's not overly skinny or overly chiselled. Even if somebody's a little bit overweight, that wouldn't bother me. To use names of body types, somewhere around a swimmer/athletic build is the hottest.

I'm not too bothered about hair colour, but oddly enough, blonde's probably my least favourite; especially with pubic hair. Something about it just looks gross to me. Redheads/gingers are hit and miss with me, but if the person doesn't look incredibly pikey/frail, then they usually make me go all lusty. Generally, I'm not picky about hair, as long as it doesn't look too untidy and/or ridiculous.

To be honest, anything that reminds me of Jarby is fine by me. :3
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Jarby
2,963 posts
Joined August 2008
Jarby
You know, I can't put my finger on points of attraction so easily. I can't say I have strong preferences regarding things like hair length or eye colour like some people. To me, someone that exudes health and confidence is most attractive and I suppose I have a rather broad idea about that. It might be a tad presumptuous of me as a virgin, but I find it a little strange when people have very specific sexual interests extending to such superficial appearances outside of outright fetishes. Oh well.
Cuddlebun
965 posts
Joined August 2008
Cuddlebun
ITT: NeverDie discovers the quickest way to rouse people's anger
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