1. Oni (4.54 stars, 1618 notes)

[R] wrote:

[Oni]
the hitsound is not really loud, i suggest to increase the volume 20-30%
00:50:239 - change don, pitch forward more strong
00:54:008 - add note, there has a bit vocal sound
01:23:537 - change kat, high pitch here
01:29:192 - change don ?
02:20:395 (45,46) - invert
02:59:035 - change kat, high pitch here
03:55:684 - add note, to keep the same spacing
04:06:993 - change kat, to give a variety
04:10:762 - delete ?
04:52:752 (33,34) - change dd, to emphasize kat forward

maybe just that from me
good luck

1. 00:58:825 (120, 121, 122) - Delete Finishers, because what I think is the melody isn't strong enough to put big note here
2. 01:19:139 - Would be better if this one is dk because I saw that you did 01:18:825 and 01:19:453 a dk. I think this part need a bit similarity
3. 01:29:401 - Remove that note, I don't hear anything and I think it should be identical with 01:08:877
4. 01:33:380 - This should be k because the trumpet's pitch is high
5. 02:21:024 (46, 47) - Ctrl + G? Because note 47 has a higher pitch than 46, and remember to put 46 as a Finisher after you moved it and remove Finisher at 47
6. 03:04:898 - Same as I mentioned in 01:29:401
7. 03:31:914 - Delete? I think the note isn't necessary because I don't hear anything.
8. 04:02:804 - Move this note to 04:02:909 Because I feel a bit weird about this. In original, you followed the background instrument but I think it isn't necessary but I think it would be better if you move the note, it will emphasize the melody better than the original

davidminh0111 wrote:

Hello Aloda, from your M4M request
Thanks for nominate my map

[Oni]

1. 00:58:825 (120, 121, 122) - Delete Finishers, because what I think is the melody isn't strong enough to put big note here You're probably right about this, but no change for now, I kind of like mapping finishers to the strong vocals here.
2. 01:19:139 - Would be better if this one is dk because I saw that you did 01:18:825 and 01:19:453 a dk. I think this part need a bit similarity Sorry but I really don't like having the repeated dk dk dk
3. 01:29:401 - Remove that note, I don't hear anything and I think it should be identical with 01:08:877 This is mostly just to prevent boring repeated doublets. While the rhythm here is similar to 1:08's, I think the change in the background music is enough to warrant having such a different structure.
4. 01:33:380 - This should be k because the trumpet's pitch is high Made this pattern dkkdkkdk
5. 02:21:024 (46, 47) - Ctrl + G? Because note 47 has a higher pitch than 46, and remember to put 46 as a Finisher after you moved it and remove Finisher at 47 Done.
6. 03:04:898 - Same as I mentioned in 01:29:401
7. 03:31:914 - Delete? I think the note isn't necessary because I don't hear anything. Same as what I said about the repeated doublets at 1:29
8. 04:02:804 - Move this note to 04:02:909 Because I feel a bit weird about this. In original, you followed the background instrument but I think it isn't necessary but I think it would be better if you move the note, it will emphasize the melody better than the original I would rather follow the music closely here, even if it's a little less intuitive to play.

(´・ω・｀)

1. 00:15:370 (79,80) - ctrl+g,
2. 00:15:998 (82) - change k
   00:15:474 (80,81,82) - You can emphasize the trumpet.
   By entering kd-K you can unify the sound of the trumpet to k
   
   and the flow will be natural.
   
   
3. 00:18:040 (92) - move to 00:17:987 - ?
   miss? The drum and the note of the song are out of sync.
   
   
4. 00:20:553 (105) - delete
   By erasing this part you will hear the melody clearer.
   
   
5. 00:24:898 (120) - chnage d
   Vocal is not high, too, because heavy kick has become.
   
   
6. 00:26:469 (127) - move to 00:26:364 -
   There is no sound of a strong Drum and if it matches with
   
   the melody of vocal, it brings out a better effect that the
   
   characteristics of a song can come out.
   
   
7. 00:32:647 (159) - delete
   How about decreasing the density?
   If you erase this part vocal sounds clear.
   
   
8. 00:41:757 (28) - change k,
9. 00:41:862 (29) - delete.
   If you erase this part vocal sounds clear.
   
   
10. 00:42:490 (34) - change d,
11. 00:42:699 (35,36) - ctrl+g,
12. 00:43:014 (37,38) - ctrl+g.
    d-dk-dkddkkkd~~
    It is a color scheme considering the pitch of vocal, the
    
    follow of Drum, the starting point of piano.
    
    
13. 00:54:322 (95) - change k,
14. 00:54:637 (97) - change d.
    00:54:427 (96,97) - I want to unify the pitch of this vocal.
    
    
15. 01:18:825 (72) - delete,
16. 01:19:139 (74,75) - ctrl+g
    01:18:930 (73,75,77) - When you play by picking up the vocal
    
    sound unified by k, you will hear better.

yuzu__rinrin wrote:

hello ></
from Discord and I like this song.


quick check.
一応英語で書きますが、わからない場合は日本語で再説明します。

(英語が苦手なので表現がおかしいかもしれません。)

[general]
tag: tone work's visual novel
add please~ ></　追加しました。

[☆彡]

1. 00:15:370 (79,80) - ctrl+g,　ok
2. 00:15:998 (82) - change k ok
   00:15:474 (80,81,82) - You can emphasize the trumpet.
   By entering kd-K you can unify the sound of the trumpet to k
   
   and the flow will be natural.
   
   いい考えですが、00:16:312 (84) - 00:16:731 (86) - 00:17:254 (88) - etcのfinisherにできるだけ強調したいから、この地帯に他にfinisherはあまり使いたくないです。
   
3. 00:18:040 (92) - move to 00:17:987 - ?
   miss? The drum and the note of the song are out of sync.
   そう？俺の耳、00:18:040 - の方が当てると思います。
   
4. 00:20:553 (105) - delete
   By erasing this part you will hear the melody clearer.
   そうかもね。00:18:040にも同じことをしました。
   
5. 00:24:898 (120) - chnage d
   Vocal is not high, too, because heavy kick has become.
   ok
   
6. 00:26:469 (127) - move to 00:26:364 -
   There is no sound of a strong Drum and if it matches with
   
   the melody of vocal, it brings out a better effect that the
   
   characteristics of a song can come out.
   実はね、こういうvocal mappingは大嫌いです。その代りにこのd kをk dにしました。この方は曲に相応しいかもね。
   
7. 00:32:647 (159) - delete
   How about decreasing the density?
   If you erase this part vocal sounds clear.
   ok
   
8. 00:41:757 (28) - change k,
   ok
9. 00:41:862 (29) - delete.
   If you erase this part vocal sounds clear.
   この上に言った通り、vocal mappingはあまり好きじゃないです。だから、これもしません。
   
10. 00:42:490 (34) - change d,
11. 00:42:699 (35,36) - ctrl+g,
12. 00:43:014 (37,38) - ctrl+g.
    d-dk-dkddkkkd~~
    It is a color scheme considering the pitch of vocal, the
    
    follow of Drum, the starting point of piano.
    ok
    
13. 00:54:322 (95) - change k,
14. 00:54:637 (97) - change d.
    00:54:427 (96,97) - I want to unify the pitch of this vocal.
    ok
    
15. 01:18:825 (72) - delete,
16. 01:19:139 (74,75) - ctrl+g
    01:18:930 (73,75,77) - When you play by picking up the vocal
    
    sound unified by k, you will hear better.
    ok

[]
Because of the time it ends here.
Overall, I feel that we can cut down a little more parts
other than kiai.

It may come again when time is available.
good luck for Ranked! 頑張れ～

1. Offset seems too early. Around -218 sounds more accurate to me.
2. Wouldn't hurt to increase HP to 5. Considering that the map have no long deathstream, HP 4 is too easy to pass for target player's level imo.
3. You may use this BG upscaled to 1920 x 1200 resolution: https://volta.s-ul.eu/vjrTGq90

1. I use your offset to mod
2. 00:04:741 - i think it is very questionable since the piano sound is too weak to put 1/6 there. Consider to remove, or move to 00:04:689 - for the hihat sound and make 1/3 pattern instead
3. 00:23:223 - just my opinion but adding d here for the vocal seems better to start the section.
4. 00:26:469 -maybe move to 00:26:364 - where the vocal occured? i think you might want to prioritize it.
5. 01:03:851 - consider to add finisher for relatively strong cymbal here?
6. 01:08:877 - same as ^, and consistency with 01:28:982 -
7. 01:58:825 - consider to remove this to hold the vocal note at create better emphasis to 01:59:035 (57,58) - ?
8. 02:01:966 - move to 02:01:862 - ? same as 00:26:469
9. 02:39:349 - add finisher? same as 01:03:851
10. 02:40:291 - maybe add d for consistency with 01:04:794 - since the two parts are similar?
11. 02:41:548 - add d for same reason as ^
12. 02:44:375 - add finisher, same as 01:08:877
13. 03:49:244 (12,13) - i think you should move the doublet 1/6 to the right, more accurate to the guitar sound
14. 04:01:233 (61,62,63,64,65,66) - maybe change to dd-dk-kd? fits with the bass sounds and currently i feel very monotone for this part
15. 04:12:333 - the strong vocal and cymbal worth to add finisher imo, and consistent with previous kiais (04:12:333 - and 02:59:453 - ). Might want to remove 04:12:228 - to focus on the finisher only.

Volta wrote:

Hello, from M4M.

[General]

1. Offset seems too early. Around -218 sounds more accurate to me. That feels quite late to me. I've set it to -226.
2. Wouldn't hurt to increase HP to 5. Considering that the map have no long deathstream, HP 4 is too easy to pass for target player's level imo. I'll put it up to 4.5
3. You may use this BG upscaled to 1920 x 1200 resolution: https://volta.s-ul.eu/vjrTGq90 Cropped and scaled down to 1366x768 to keep the filesize low.

[Oni]

1. I use your offset to mod
2. 00:04:741 - i think it is very questionable since the piano sound is too weak to put 1/6 there. Consider to remove, or move to 00:04:689 - for the hihat sound and make 1/3 pattern instead You might be right, but I want to use a different pattern here to differentiate this unique sound from the other sounds in this section rather than using the same 1/3 doublets I've used elsewhere.
3. 00:23:223 - just my opinion but adding d here for the vocal seems better to start the section.
4. 00:26:469 -maybe move to 00:26:364 - where the vocal occured? i think you might want to prioritize it.
5. 01:03:851 - consider to add finisher for relatively strong cymbal here?
6. 01:08:877 - same as ^, and consistency with 01:28:982 -
7. 01:58:825 - consider to remove this to hold the vocal note at create better emphasis to 01:59:035 (57,58) - ? It feels really empty here without this note imo, so I think I'll keep it.
8. 02:01:966 - move to 02:01:862 - ? same as 00:26:469
9. 02:39:349 - add finisher? same as 01:03:851
10. 02:40:291 - maybe add d for consistency with 01:04:794 - since the two parts are similar?
11. 02:41:548 - add d for same reason as ^
12. 02:44:375 - add finisher, same as 01:08:877
13. 03:49:244 (12,13) - i think you should move the doublet 1/6 to the right, more accurate to the guitar sound
14. 04:01:233 (61,62,63,64,65,66) - maybe change to dd-dk-kd? fits with the bass sounds and currently i feel very monotone for this part
15. 04:12:333 - the strong vocal and cymbal worth to add finisher imo, and consistent with previous kiais (04:12:333 - and 02:59:453 - ). Might want to remove 04:12:228 - to focus on the finisher only. Yep, added finisher and removed the note.

You may call me back after that~