OT!News
April 25th - May 1st
A weather alert has been issued for super-shitstorm Para Lel. While
the eye of the storm has passed, it is advised for OT to still take caution.
There are reports of gusts up to 5 moderators per hour and some locks
in isolated areas. It is unknown how many threads were exactly wastelanded,
but it is advised to quote your neighbor's posts if they are sturdy enough to
withstand this super-shitstorm.
~abraker, OT climatologist
2017-04-25: abraker posted an unexpected face reveal of Blitzfrog. abraker obtained an image of Blitzfrog from an unknown source and quickly proceeded to reveal it to the OT denizens. This was followed by the face reveal of kai99, who followed the trend and showed off her purple Korean hair. Sentencings also joined in the trend, posting a picture of a stoned Sentencing. Soon Caradine came into the thread, shocked by the beautiful images, could not utter a single word. Kai saw his dilemma and attempted to translate Caradine’s wordlessness, interpreting it as the word “bwoah”. It was later revealed by Caradine, after he cooled down, that he was attempting to say “hi kai”. The thread swirled into a complete destruction when silmarilen and [Taiga] decided to blow up the thread, destroying the forum for a dreadful 4 pages, until it finally ended with a photo of a brutally murdered image of Blitzfrog.
A previously unseen picture of Blitzfrog.
2017-04-25: Recently, the newest trend of Fidget Spinners® has hit stores across OT. This measly toy, conspired to be a mass shitposting device in disguise, is reported to become popular almost overnight. This little contraption was so popular that the citizens of OT had to create two threads about it: Why the hell is this a thing and Fidget Spinners. This irl trend is sweeping the world off its feet; when will it end?
Why are they a thing? Let us know in the comments below.
2017-04-27: A guide to get featured by OT!news was written by [ - Zekks - ]. This simple yet instructive guide includes details on how to get featured on OT!News, with a disclaimer that says: methods in the guide are not official. The guide included two sections, “General” and “What kind of thread should I post?”, each section a compilation from a detailed inspection of the trend featured at OT!News. This guide was remarked by OT denizens as a “Witty and insightful remark”. Take a read!
“Everything mentioned in this [guide] is unofficial, please do not follow any of this criteria until further notice.”
2017-04-27: Fourth is suggesting an OT collab for all citizens of OT to participate in. Several options for the collab were suggested, with having another OT user’s avatar being the most popular. OT tried to find something that would be appealing to all while also being as simple as it can; however, as expected of OT, it could not come to an agreement.
2017-04-27: Parallel posting flooded OT with locked threads being “revived”. Originally started with Blitzfrog and his parallel posting thread, this post led into a complete catastrophe as the front pages of OT were simultaneously combusted by several parallel posts of threads from the past. Meah launched a nuke upon OT with his unparalleled posting speed, “reviving” the sacred thelewa fanclub thread. This was followed by a legendary shitposter named “roshan117”, who escalated the parallel posting destruction to no end. Even the original Parallel Posting thread was not free of havoc. This desolation lasted for a full 4 hours before the forum’s special ops stepped in with their secret technique known as “parallel locking” to restore peace to OT.
Parallel locking.
2017-04-30: Neku Okazaki has asked for computer build suggestions for a school project, and this attracted many OTers who were interested. abraker responded with a long post in order to visualize where OPs build was at, yet this ended up being wastelanded; the gif remains. In addition to the removal of the post, Flanster has added that “next time heads will roll”, hinting an execution could happen if this reoccurs.
2017-04-30: The new OT overlord has been declared!
Lord Lockthread Stefan was not joking when he said he will be leaving his post to pursue other things. The lord will always be known for his strict policy - thread locking without warning. Now a new OT overlord, Flanster, has come out and asserted his power by the almighty - “Bwoah”. We don’t know what weird shit he was on when he declared that, but let this must be a fierce “rawr” or a supreme quote or something. Despite the rather untraditional declaration, unlike the other OT overlords who pinned a grand statement for all to see, Overlord Flanster went on to lock three threads before earning the recognition. This is truly a new age for OT which already screams “Fuk da rulez!”. We are eager to see what it will bring!
2017-04-30: Flanster’s thread locking record begins!
abraker continues the tradition started by Allmynamestaken to keep track of the list of threads the OT Overlord locks. As of May first, Lord Flanster already amassed ten locked threads, with 70 more to go to beat Stefan’s record as far as what has been recorded.
2017-05-01: Flanster found Blitzfrog decorating the whole front page of Surveys, arranging the OPs in order. Unimpressed by the decorations, Flanster had to use the great silencehammer once again to restore the peace of this forum.
When Will it End?
2017-04-24: Yuudachi-kun started the LEFT WING and the RIGHT WING safe spaces, which quickly turned into a trend. abraker then continued with the MID WING safe space, kai99 with the BUFFALO WING safe space, and Meah with the NORTH EAST safe space.
2017-04-27: Flanster continues trend of AMA but adds in new aspect- roast Flanster - seems to be mimicking the trend of /r/RoastMe
2017-04-27: OT has recently experienced an influx of thieves as people have been stealing each others’ avatars. First, johnmedina999 as Yuudachi-kun, then Meah as Blitzfrog. Later, Caradine as abraker to make this post.
OT Denizens
Keep the Cancer Flowing
Welcome back:
Cyclohexane popped in for Hika’s birthday party, Cyclohexane has made an appearance in OT after 17 days of missing; welcome back!
Luqanted coming back after a long break. Luquanted is in search for more mutual friends, reviving his thread back from the dead to continue the search. Welcome back, and we hope you find what you’re looking for!
Jordan: spotted in ITT thread. Jordan is back after a two-week-long break from this
Newbies:
We welcome you to OT with open arms!
Caradine was brought to OT. He has made quite a stir in OT these last couple of days, from stealing avatars to posting AMD.
Neku Okazaki has arrived at OT, with the “My New Computer” thread.
Thank you for the overwhelming support and feedback for OT!News! It has been quite a chaotic and busy week with lots of events happening all around. Next week there will be a special edition, so make sure to check in next week!
OT!News will always try to provide quality content. If you find any errors or have a suggestion, please leave a post below or feel free to PM / highlight us either through the osu! site or our Discord.
See you next week!
Credits:
We would like to take this opportunity to thank kai99 and Blitzfrog for giving us so much cancer that we needed to bleach our eyes, abraker for tidying the cancer, johnmedina999 for grammar nazi-ing, and a collaborative effort to make the cancer look nice. We also would like to give special thanks to everyone in the official Discord server for giving us the support needed not to shoot ourselves. Until next time!
Thank you, good night, and remember to...
We would like to take this opportunity to thank kai99 and Blitzfrog for giving us so much cancer that we needed to bleach our eyes, abraker for tidying the cancer, johnmedina999 for grammar nazi-ing, and a collaborative effort to make the cancer look nice. We also would like to give special thanks to everyone in the official Discord server for giving us the support needed not to shoot ourselves. Until next time!
Thank you, good night, and remember to...
