Hi. Here for M4M from your queue. Hope this helps!
[Cocona]
00:11:767 (2,3) – This spacing is odd. It's neither the same DS that came before it nor is it a big jump. Also the (4) in 00:11:767 (2,3,4) – doesn't have the same visual spacing from (2) to (3), and you can connect 00:11:254 (1,4) – by making it more linear either with (3) or directly.
01:08:690 (1,2,1,2) – I liked the expression here, good job!
01:20:998 (1) – and 01:22:023 (4) – have kind of weak DS's into them. That makes a DS like 01:32:792 (7,8) – feel very big. I understand the intent behind making these different, but you go a bit too far and make the second part of the chorus feel too intense. If you make the first part a little big stronger by making the DS's stronger though, you've brought the pacing more in line. Same thing applies to some other DS's in this section, for instance 01:17:921 (5) – is kind of a strong note with a small DS, and so are 01:19:203 (1) - and 01:19:973 (4) - . Same thing applies in the next kiai.
02:13:305 (2) – One helpful trick, if you do ctrl + G on this twice, the slider will tell you where its endpoint is. You can use that to make a better stack with 02:14:331 (1) –
02:18:690 – so look at the current position of the slider ball here. It might be nice if the red node were here placed here so that the change in flow occurs on a ½ beat, and it would divide the slider into a more clear fraction, so like:
http://puu.sh/v7Yti/25949ad8a7.jpg02:30:485 (5,1) – In the future, try laying off the large jumps in calm sections. Yeah I know the aesthetics require you to use this kind of spacing, but try finding other aesthetics with nicer spacing.
02:57:408 (1,2,3,4) – This can play awkwardly for some people since it's natural to expect an even number of circles after a slider when doing ¼. Consider a rhythm like:
http://puu.sh/v7Zho/6af85945d1.jpg . If so then consider all the other rhythms like that.
03:09:203 (1) – This note is stronger in the music than the other notes, but I don't think it's 3 times as strong, which made this DS feel too big. 03:07:664 (1) – has mostly faded, so I don't think it would look bad if you stacked 03:08:177 (2,3,1) -
[Papika]
00:04:587 (5,6,1) – This is what I see at this pattern:
http://puu.sh/v7UgS/e072a4562c.jpg . The stack looks a bit odd to me because the (6) circle goes back into the (5) slider, so it's hard to see what's going on there. This is more of a personal preference, but making the stack clearer by moving (6) and (1) down like so looks better to me:
http://puu.sh/v7Ume/e0af35fb82.jpg . Applies to all the other stacks in this section
00:14:844 (4,2) – Find a way to move (4) to the right to avoid the overlap?
00:28:690 (4,1,2,3) – (2) is much closer to (4) than (1) is. The triple could blanket the slider better.
00:35:356 (1,1) – Based on the way you made your wave slider, the first slider doesn't make a nice circle around the next one. If you use a red node in your wave slider, the wave slider will be more circley and give these a nicer look:
http://puu.sh/v7V02/855da71ea4.png00:43:562 (6,7,1,2,3,4,5,6,1,2,3,4,5) – You're setting up really nice aesthetics with that, and I don't want to get in the way of that, but I would like to say that my reaction to this was that using the same DS for so long lacked a bit of emphasis on key notes. So like, the singer gets kind of high pitch and strong at 00:44:074 (1) - , falls to a lower pitch during the measure, then reclaims the high pitch on the next downbeat at 00:46:126 (1) – only to fall down again. It's hard to feel the music without corresponding changes in distance to contrast the low and high notes of the vocals, but again this gets into the argument Mo brings up in his video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNnF5NL ... e=youtu.be00:48:177 (1) – This is what I see
http://puu.sh/v7V2D/e6b15afdf1.jpg . Try moving this up so it doesn't clip the bottom of the screen.
01:09:459 (3,6) – I don't feel like these are that strong of notes and didn't enjoy a ¼ slider → circle pattern. While normally a bunch of ½ sliders are too calm/boring, the 1/1 'flip flap's are idiosyncratic to the song that using them here brings it out nicely to me.
01:12:536 (8,9,1,2,3,4,5,6,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,1) – All of these patterns move in a general clockwise circle. Similar to the point about using contrasting distances, I think it would be nice to use different flows as well to contrast different parts of the music. For instance at 01:16:895 (1) - , the harmony changes drastically from this higher pitched strings to a pretty low pitched strings which makes these two parts feel different. But 01:17:151 (2,3,4) – is the same pattern as 01:15:869 (5,6,7) - , so the map doesn't offer that same contrast the music is doing. Keep 01:20:998 (1,2,3,4,5,6) – though since I liked this pattern and it brought out this section of music nicely.
01:47:151 (5,1) – This is your pattern now.
http://puu.sh/v7Wrd/ba177683c7.jpg . This is what it could be:
http://puu.sh/v7Wy1/df13a3e8f2.jpg . You also have potential to do blankets at 01:45:613 (1,3) – if you want and at 01:46:639 (3,5) – or whatnot, and you can give yourself room because the DS between 01:44:587 (3,1) – doesn't matter.
02:20:485 (1,2) – This is very close and looks cramped. Moving them just a little bit will still make them feel restful. Ideally you could make the spacing between these have the same visual spacing that 02:22:023 (3,4) – has, but even just something like this would be nicer
http://puu.sh/v7WIm/7958bdd3ea.jpg. If you had other patterns that were this close and cramped that you could make some kind of theme around the crampedness that's one thing, but that doesn't look like what you're going for.
02:37:408 (2) – Before you did something visually to indicate this was a ¾ slider. Right now, this (2,3) pattern did not read as ¼ rhythm, so it didn't play amazingly to me. 02:41:510 (2) – yeah like this guy, he does something funky, so it's a better visual cue that it's a ¾ slider and to expect a ¼ rhythm.
03:53:305 (5) – overlaps the HP bar:
http://puu.sh/v7X3i/fb738a1576.jpgGood luck!