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doriko - bouquet

posted
Total Posts
13
Ryuusei Aika
Elite Mapper
1,085 posts
Joined January 2016
Topic Starter
Ryuusei Aika
This beatmap was submitted using in-game submission on 2018年4月17日 at 22:02:13

Artist: doriko
Title: bouquet
Tags: VOCALOID ボーカロイド 初音ミク Hatsune Miku Kiritan-P きりたんP warm 花束
BPM: 79
Filesize: 16157kb
Play Time: 05:14
Difficulties Available:
  1. 2017's Flower (4.16 stars, 823 notes)
  2. remap Flower (2.79 stars, 178 notes)
Download: doriko - bouquet
Information: Scores/Beatmap Listing
---------------
「過ぎ去りし日々に何か言えるなら　人は今よりも幸せになれる？」

2017 diff will be deleted when I finish my remap work

Lyrics
時計の針だけ廻る世界
セピアの景色に鐘が響く

窓辺の席には無言の空
私はここから何を見てきた

誰か私に答えて
一人昨日に佇む置き去りのままの
風景の中

零れ落ちてゆく 私の色彩
忘れないでいて 私が居たこと
止まらぬ時間に 手向けの言葉を添えて
歌う 「さよなら」

いつか聞こえたざわめき
滲む夕日に揺らいだ私の姿は
もう遠すぎて

過ぎ去りし日々に何か言えるなら
人は今よりも幸せになれる？
廊下を駆けてく背中に伸ばしかけた指
伝う涙が ああ
止まらない

私は・・・

孤独と自由のどちらを手にして
何も無い部屋で明日から目覚める？
最後の別れを 静かな幕引きの中
夢よ さよなら


両手に溢れる 可憐な色彩
小さな願いで 織り上げたブーケ
どうか枯れないで 私が消えた舞台に
残す 足跡


思い出を預けし窓際で
眺めてたいつかの青い空
舞い込んだ別れの花びら一つ
届かぬ昨日へと消えてゆく
Last edited by Ryuusei Aika , edited 8 times in total.
Ryuusei Aika
Elite Mapper
1,085 posts
Joined January 2016
Topic Starter
Ryuusei Aika
self-reminder:
~
soft-hitnormal (piano key sound)
10 = e3
11 = d3m
12 = b2
13 = d2m
14 = g3m
15 = d4
16 = f4m
17 = e4
18 = g4
19 = f4
20 = g5
21 = d5
22 = c5m
23 = e5
24 = b4
25 = d3
26 = a4
27 = f3m
28 = f2m
29 = c3m
30 = g2
31 = a2
32 = g3
33 = f3
34 = b3
35 = f5m
36 = g5m
37 = d5m
38 = c5
39 = g4m
Last edited by Ryuusei Aika , edited 3 times in total.
Otosaka-Yu
1,117 posts
Joined August 2013
Otosaka-Yu
占坑带膜
你这个keysound很不错啊，基本功还是要练练
Otosaka-Yu
1,117 posts
Joined August 2013
Otosaka-Yu
irc已摸
Last edited by Otosaka-Yu , edited 2 times in total.
kanor
925 posts
Joined August 2013
kanor
[Genal]
Unused hitsounds:
soft-hitnormal14.wav
soft-hitnormal19.wav
soft-hitnormal32.wav
soft-sliderslide13.wav
soft-sliderslide14.wav
soft-sliderslide17.wav
soft-sliderslide18.wav
soft-sliderslide19.wav
soft-sliderslide25.wav
soft-sliderslide28.wav
soft-sliderslide29.wav
soft-sliderslide31.wav
soft-sliderslide32.wav
soft-sliderslide34.wav

Unused files: bouquet.png

Wave hitsounds with possible delay > 5ms:
soft-hitfinish4.wav
soft-hitnormal36.wav
soft-hitnormal37.wav
soft-hitnormal38.wav
soft-hitnormal39.wav

[Flower]
钢琴key我推荐放whistle，放到hit导致底音没了，那些没Key的hit听起来就很突兀
00:19:775 (3,4) -
00:20:534 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8) - 这里我推荐改成一个1/2滑条+2个单点，连续8个单点在这里难度有些爆了，排列也不好看，你完全可以在5停一下，把6去掉，这样停顿感就出来了，前面一些地方也是，你要是觉得1/1的gap不知道怎么放，那么就原地叠一下做个停顿顺便切flow
00:23:003 (3,4,5) - 这个DS突然太小了，跟你前面的单点相比这就是1/4
00:28:129 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,1) - 这一段比较乱，因为这里主音轨已经趋于缓慢了，虽然其他音轨确实有音，但是这么放感觉不出停顿
00:31:167 - 从这里开始是一个相对安静的part，在这里像00:32:496 (3,4) - 这种DS就会有点突兀，00:33:256 (5,6) - 这种就舒服得多，那么我比较倾向于普遍用后面那个part，可以有点小跳，但是不要想前面那那那么大，而且在有vocal的时候我觉得只跟vocal就可以了，像00:40:851 - 你都跟了伴奏却漏了vocal，这种听起来就比较突兀
00:56:610 (3,4,5) - 这种同节奏却不同DS的，单个看很容易逼死强迫症
01:00:598 - 这种安静的part里vocal还是比较突出的，不去压总觉得不舒服
01:45:028 (5,6,7) - 这种除非你在diff里反复运用不然感觉都是突兀的
03:08:382 (1,2,3,1,2,3) - 这种梗也是，太突兀了，你在前面都没这样的梗，跟整个diff的难度也脱节了
03:21:009 (7,8,9,1) - 这个连打跳难度脱节
04:44:838 (6,1) - ......这是滑条不是转盘啊喂！

音效给人的印象挺好的，就是排列还要再加油呀，提升空间挺大的 :)
顺便要不要collab啊
walaowey
952 posts
Joined March 2012
walaowey
hi nm from my queue :D

[general]
  1. nice keysounding :D
  2. You got 2 BG in you folder now, and you're using the BG with low resolution. If u want to continue using the current BG, remember to resize it to 16:9 or something because it is not the right resolution now. Delete the one u didnt use :D
[Flower]
  1. 01:01:547 (1) - u can have some jump here, since the beat was stronger than previous part
  2. 01:09:142 (4,5,6) - u should use different spacing for (4) -> (5) and (5) -> (6) , because both of them have different gap. same spacing can cause confusion here imo
  3. 02:37:243 (4,5,6) - ^
  4. 01:30:408 (5,6,7) - the flow transition from (6) -> (7) was not that nice imo. maybe try change the flowing there?
  5. 01:32:686 (3,5) - both of this can have bigger spacing, strong beats :P
  6. 01:51:104 (4,5) - try ctrl+g this then place (5) further? , the current flow feels weird :P *click*
  7. 01:54:522 (5,6,7) - wont this cause confusion? because there are some parts like 01:05:724 (4,5,6) - , in which u map it the same pattern, but they have different gap, 1/8 and 1/4 . consider to change it? ><
  8. 02:44:269 (9,10) - why did u overlap both of this together? i dont hear any difference in rhythm here ><
  9. 02:45:598 (3) - bigger jump here imo, strong beats
  10. 02:50:914 (1,2,3) - same spacing but different gap, maybe use a different spacing for (2,3)
  11. 02:52:433 (6,7,8) - ^
  12. 03:01:357 (4) - very close to the hp bar https://puu.sh/uws5Q/92c6806bc9.jpg, consider move it for a bit
  13. 04:17:686 (8) - ^
  14. 04:26:420 (4) - ^
  15. 04:30:977 (11) - ^
  16. 03:29:458 (6,7,8,9,10) - the overlapping here was quite hard to read
  17. 03:43:319 (2) - the thing u dont need to extend this slider, the slider end dont have anything
  18. 04:18:762 (12,13,1) - (12,13) are quite hard to read imo, didnt expect it to be 1/6

that's all from me, Good Luck :D
Ryuusei Aika
Elite Mapper
1,085 posts
Joined January 2016
Topic Starter
Ryuusei Aika

kanor wrote:

[Genal]
Unused hitsounds:
soft-hitnormal14.wav
soft-hitnormal19.wav
soft-hitnormal32.wav
soft-sliderslide13.wav
soft-sliderslide14.wav
soft-sliderslide17.wav
soft-sliderslide18.wav
soft-sliderslide19.wav
soft-sliderslide25.wav
soft-sliderslide28.wav
soft-sliderslide29.wav
soft-sliderslide31.wav
soft-sliderslide32.wav
soft-sliderslide34.wav

Unused files: bouquet.png

Wave hitsounds with possible delay > 5ms:
soft-hitfinish4.wav
soft-hitnormal36.wav
soft-hitnormal37.wav
soft-hitnormal38.wav
soft-hitnormal39.wav
我待会也去下个这东西 Genal是啥

[Flower]
钢琴key我推荐放whistle，放到hit导致底音没了，那些没Key的hit听起来就很突兀 除了结尾那段，其他地方都做了点改动，应该达到了你想说的效果。结尾那段保持，因为结尾那段只有钢琴的声音，所以我想打的时候也只有钢琴的hs出来
00:19:775 (3,4) - 你们都孙悟空眼睛吗
00:20:534 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8) - 这里我推荐改成一个1/2滑条+2个单点，连续8个单点在这里难度有些爆了，排列也不好看，你完全可以在5停一下，把6去掉，这样停顿感就出来了，前面一些地方也是，你要是觉得1/1的gap不知道怎么放，那么就原地叠一下做个停顿顺便切flow 这里我听着这八个地方都是clickable的，然后00:20:534 (1,3,5,7) - 要么就是有明显的声音（1,5,7）要么就是有音调变化（3），所以我才弄的这一个排列。而且bpm比较低，难度不会爆到哪里去的
00:23:003 (3,4,5) - 这个DS突然太小了，跟你前面的单点相比这就是1/4 换成0.5sv折返了
00:28:129 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,1) - 这一段比较乱，因为这里主音轨已经趋于缓慢了，虽然其他音轨确实有音，但是这么放感觉不出停顿 有道理，摆开了
00:31:167 - 从这里开始是一个相对安静的part，在这里像00:32:496 (3,4) - 这种DS就会有点突兀，00:33:256 (5,6) - 这种就舒服得多，那么我比较倾向于普遍用后面那个part，可以有点小跳，但是不要想前面那那那么大，而且在有vocal的时候我觉得只跟vocal就可以了，像00:40:851 - 你都跟了伴奏却漏了vocal，这种听起来就比较突兀 都改了
00:56:610 (3,4,5) - 这种同节奏却不同DS的，单个看很容易逼死强迫症 改了
01:00:598 - 这种安静的part里vocal还是比较突出的，不去压总觉得不舒服 这1234是一起的，不太想破坏。而且我听着还好
01:45:028 (5,6,7) - 这种除非你在diff里反复运用不然感觉都是突兀的 和01:51:104 (4,5) - 一个道理，就是换个摆法。而且79bpm这种梗不难读的
03:08:382 (1,2,3,1,2,3) - 这种梗也是，太突兀了，你在前面都没这样的梗，跟整个diff的难度也脱节了 see 02:56:231 (1,2,3,1,2,3) - ，我这里就是想比前面那个弄难一点而已。
03:21:009 (7,8,9,1) - 这个连打跳难度脱节 03:21:294 (1) - 这里刚好有个压白线的钢琴声，所以我不想摆成普通的连打，这样nc在串中间也会很奇怪。
至于难度脱节的问题，首先79bpm，其次我这一段整体做的就是打算有几个地方要比歌的其余part难的。
04:44:838 (6,1) - ......这是滑条不是转盘啊喂！？什么意思没懂，我这里的确是个滑条，形状和排列我觉得应该也挺正常的

音效给人的印象挺好的，就是排列还要再加油呀，提升空间挺大的 :)
顺便要不要collab啊 好啊你要collab啥


谢砍哥和star ;)

walaowey wrote:

hi nm from my queue :D

[general]
  1. nice keysounding :D thanks!
  2. You got 2 BG in you folder now, and you're using the BG with low resolution. If u want to continue using the current BG, remember to resize it to 16:9 or something because it is not the right resolution now. Delete the one u didnt use :D BG changed as the provious one has a weird resolution
[Flower]
  1. 01:01:547 (1) - u can have some jump here, since the beat was stronger than previous part k moved previous 5 down for a bit
  2. 01:09:142 (4,5,6) - u should use different spacing for (4) -> (5) and (5) -> (6) , because both of them have different gap. same spacing can cause confusion here imo ok
  3. 02:37:243 (4,5,6) - ^ ^
  4. 01:30:408 (5,6,7) - the flow transition from (6) -> (7) was not that nice imo. maybe try change the flowing there? just to emphasize the clap sound at the head of 01:31:167 (7) - so i made flow here a little different here
  5. 01:32:686 (3,5) - both of this can have bigger spacing, strong beats :P right strong beats at 01:32:686 (3,5) - so i put 5 like that but not (something like ctrl+g of 5). yes here i used also something like antiflow to emphasize this
  6. 01:51:104 (4,5) - try ctrl+g this then place (5) further? , the current flow feels weird :P *click* here's the same idea with 01:45:028 (5,6,7) - , just an arrangement in a different way
  7. 01:54:522 (5,6,7) - wont this cause confusion? because there are some parts like 01:05:724 (4,5,6) - , in which u map it the same pattern, but they have different gap, 1/8 and 1/4 . consider to change it? >< it's ok imo, it can be readed by watching the approaching circle
  8. 02:44:269 (9,10) - why did u overlap both of this together? i dont hear any difference in rhythm here >< you've got a point
  9. 02:45:598 (3) - bigger jump here imo, strong beats this slider can emphasize the change of beat well imo
  10. 02:50:914 (1,2,3) - same spacing but different gap, maybe use a different spacing for (2,3) 03:33:446 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7) - too. final exam for AR8 reading man
  11. 02:52:433 (6,7,8) - ^ ^
  12. 03:01:357 (4) - very close to the hp bar https://puu.sh/uws5Q/92c6806bc9.jpg, consider move it for a bit
  13. 04:17:686 (8) - ^
  14. 04:26:420 (4) - ^
  15. 04:30:977 (11) - ^ mmm those 4 i think are all ok...... i'll see if it's really matter when i have some other mods after
  16. 03:29:458 (6,7,8,9,10) - the overlapping here was quite hard to read just like 03:23:382 (3,4,5,6,7) - . take 03:23:382 (3,4,5,6,7) - , when you hit 3 ant you will see where the position of 4 and 5 (it's easy to click 4 and 5 as the ds between them isnt quite large), and then you can see 6 and 7 and understand i arrange notes like this to show the increasing of the tune of vocal, all those are quite natural imo.
  17. 03:43:319 (2) - the thing u dont need to extend this slider, the slider end dont have anything at the end there is an aftersound of the bell, and i think a bell hitsound + a 1/16 slider is quite cute here :D
  18. 04:18:762 (12,13,1) - (12,13) are quite hard to read imo, didnt expect it to be 1/6 04:18:256 (11,12,13) - now changed into 04:18:256 (1,1,1) - , hope it's better now

that's all from me, Good Luck :D
Thanks walaowey! :D
hi-mei
784 posts
Joined June 2014
hi-mei
I actually realized that I cant mod this map. The way its mapped is ... hmm lets say "promising".
The thing is that i was is the same situation, and people actually did these useless mods with slight fixes of useless stuff, but nobody actually said something that could improve the map and its mapper.

If you want some good advises - please contact me in game and ill lead you to the right direction.
The current map is far behind current ranking standards of Overall quality (the combination of emphasis+structure+flow+aesthetics+rhythm choice+hitsounds). So I wont try to get free kds or insult you by saying "remap it" but offer my in-game help instead.

gl
Affirmation
2,543 posts
Joined March 2015
Affirmation
Q

[sadf]
00:01:927 (2,3) - 00:03:446 (4,1) - DS should be similar.,
00:16:547 (3,4) - this antuijump looks hard to read.
00:23:003 (3) - weird SV, why you reduce it?
00:53:762 (4) - why this is 1/8 slider, Just make a circle.
02:00:598 (6,7) - DS should be bigger than 02:00:408 (5,6) -
03:01:357 (4) - touching HP bar.
03:12:940 (3) - ^
03:23:382 (3,4,5,6,7) - Hard flow.
04:18:762 (1,1) - Hard to read.
04:27:370 (6) - why you reduced DS here? make consistant DS with 04:25:091 (1,2,3,4,5) -

GL
Xinying
559 posts
Joined July 2013
Xinying
Hey~ From my modding queue

General

  1. Very impressive keysounds! However I would strongly advise you to switch the keysounds to "whistle" instead and use an appropriate hitnormal. This is because the ranking criteria states that "Avoid keysounding without hitnormal support. If hitsounds blend perfectly with the song, feedback is minimal.". In your case, it blends in perfectly with the music, so I doubt it would be rankable this way.

Flower

  1. 00:16:357 (2,3) - The spacing between these notes as compared to 00:16:547 (3,4) - is too large. You should stick with a spacing like this which you did here 00:18:066 (7,8) .
  2. 00:27:038 (2,3) - Look at the spacing... 10x, would suggest you to nerf it.
  3. 01:22:813 (1,3) - Ranking criteria did state that objects shouldn't be blocked by a body of another object. You can try something like this flow
  4. 01:31:167 (7,1) - This overlap is acceptable and neater in a sense, but it would be better if the sliderbody of 01:31:927 (1) - touches the head of 01:31:167 (7) - here is what I meant.
  5. 01:30:977 (6,7) - Stacking them reminds me of a 2B mapping style. I would try something like this? maybe..
  6. 01:56:041 (4,1) - Increase the spacing of these notes to emphasize the cymbal sound (Finish)
  7. 02:05:344 (1,2,3,4) - Might be just me, but usually I would put NC on these objects to show that the SV has changed, and here too 02:07:623 (5) - for the change in rhythm
  8. 02:26:990 (1,2,3,4,5) - It's very hard to predict the exact snap of these objects when sight reading it. Personally I find mapping them as sliders are better, you can try either this rhythm - which includes the note to emphasize on the cymbal sound or this alternative rhythm for a rebound effect, personally would advise you to choose the first one as it is easier to play
  9. 02:50:914 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8) - When I highlight I can see the structure you are trying to follow, but the spacing doesn't make any sense to me. 02:51:294 (2,3) - being spaced exactly like 02:50:914 (1,2) - will make players confused about the rhythm.
  10. 02:56:231 (1,2,3,1,2,3) - , 03:08:382 (1,2,3,1,2,3) - You sure about these spaced streams? Even though star rating doesn't show, they create a difficulty spike. Maybe just map them to rebound sliders?
  11. 03:21:199 (9,1) - The spacing is huge
  12. 03:44:838 (5) - Looks like a distorted slider, maybe try a Z shape would be neater?
  13. 03:45:598 (1) - Once again this hidden note violates the ranking criteria, try moving to somewhere around 204|84
  14. 04:00:788 (1,3) - hidden object
  15. 04:18:762 (1,1,1) - This is incredibly hard to anticipate
  16. 04:36:484 (1,2,3,4) - ^ , try something like this instead?
  17. 04:49:395 (1) - The keysounds from here on out are incredibly gorgeous to listen, good job on that!
  18. Maybe add spinner at the end? To represent the fading piano
  19. Overall I would say the map requires work. Having a habit of overlapping notes like 04:00:788 (1,3) - and 01:22:813 (1,3) - is really really bad. These patterns are not rankable. And your spacing also makes your pattern hard to read - especially when sight reading. But I can see the structure is there and hitsounds are great!

That's all from me! Good luck!
Mordred
532 posts
Joined October 2015
Mordred
from q


Flower
01:14:411 (2,3) - would make that into a repeat slider + circle since 01:14:981 (3) - ends on a strong sound that should be clickable

01:30:977 (6,7) - idk about this overlap

01:36:674 - you skipped a beat here

01:45:598 (8,9) - 2 1/4 sliders work better here, because it makes the sound at 01:45:977 - clickable

01:48:636 (6,7) - the same applies here

02:06:104 (2) - + 02:06:863 (4) - NC to indicate SV change

02:26:990 (1,2,3,4) - I'd recommend using sliders here since the rhythm is kinda weird (something like here 01:14:079 (1,2,3) - )

02:50:914 (1,2,3) - stacking 2 different rhythm gaps the same way can be really confusing, especially for newer players, change it up a bit

02:54:332 (2,3,4,7) - NC those to indicate SV changes

03:07:433 - should be mapped

03:19:015 (3,4) - this looks messy, but that might just be me

03:21:199 (9,1) - this gap is quite big, and also kind of unexpected since nothing similar appeared in the map before this; you could change 03:21:104 (8,9) - into a slider to make it easier and less awkward

03:25:471 - seems weird to ignore the singer all of the sudden

03:34:965 (7) - not really a fan of multiple repeats, I'd change it into 2 sliders

03:45:598 (1) - idk if hiding this under the slider is a good idea

04:02:876 (8) - could NC this

04:24:142 (7) - ^

04:49:395 (1,1) - what about using 1/12 sliders here?

05:04:490 (1) - I feel like this should repeat once

good luck with your map
Murmur twins
73 posts
Joined December 2015
Murmur twins
1pc 试玩：rip acc

看到这排列第一反应是hanzer, 蛮有个性。然后音效做的也很精致，挺不错。

我就在排列上摸一下好了~

Flower
[*] 00:40:851 (2) - 这里note和前后两个滑条间距看着有点难受啊，其实不如可以再拉开一点；
[*] 01:27:370 (5,6) - 表强调，同样可以拉开间距来凸显一下；
[*] 02:04:395 (7,8) - 蜜汁间距变大
[*] 02:31:357 (5,6) - 嗯，这两个note嘛，我觉得可以这么处理一下： 5,6都可以移到距离7滑条头的附近 （flow看起来会更舒服一点），然后5,6自身重叠，因为感觉这样比较好读。我试玩的时候这两个note直接出50了（
[*] 02:50:914 (1,2,3) - 这里等间距不同时间间隔同样看起来很难受的说
[*] 03:08:382 (1,2,3,1,2,3) - qwq 好恐怖啊
[*] 03:19:015 (3) - ctrl+g?
[*] 04:36:737 (2) - 这里突然变节奏的话，NC一下比较好；
[*] 04:37:117 (4) - ^
[*] 结尾部分钢琴音简直爱死了好吗>w<

嗯就这些主要的，总体感觉不错，就是一些细节问题，GL~ 有疑问欢迎游戏里戳我~
Lumario
245 posts
Joined March 2016
Lumario
Hey, it's me DeLumaLay o/


Flower:

00:03:446 (4,1) - that's the only overlap in the intro so it seems inconsistent
00:16:547 (3,4) - spacing is way to small compared to this 00:18:066 (7,8) -
00:16:357 (2,3) - kinda same same thing, spacing is incosistent 00:17:876 (6,7) - (I won't note more spacing stuff just look over your map again for this)
00:43:889 (2,3,4,5) - you established a concept here but for whatever reason you didn't use it here 00:49:395 (1,2,3,4,5,6) - but use it right here 00:52:243 (8,1,2,3) - again
ok one last spacing thing 01:10:661 (1,2) - is tiny compared to 01:09:142 (4,5) -
uhh I like this one 01:15:788 (1,2,3,4,5) -
you mix overlapping stuff like this 01:30:408 (5,6,7) - and 01:35:534 (2,3) - you should probably just choose one
01:38:003 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7) - It looks nice but you threw your overlapping concepts out of the window again, you had full overlaps an now just slight ones
For the overlapping you could use full overlaps in kiais and the half ones at other parts or the other way around
02:26:990 (1,2,3,4,5,1,2,3,4,5) - <-- one example for this doesn't look so nice you have a lot of stuff which doesn't connects to each other and so it sometimes feel out of place
02:51:294 (2,3,4,5,6,7,8) - no just no, you just used same spacing for different rhythm at just one spot
02:56:231 (1,2,3,1,2,3) - this is basically a 1/6th stream with big spacing without warning so, pls no
03:07:433 - missing circle
03:23:382 (3,4,5,6,7) - Again I like this one, but you just used it two times but for whatever reason u didn't to something like that here 03:35:724 (8,9,10,11) -
The rest should be a mixture of ^ so I'll stop here :3

Well I hope this helps,
Luma o/
BanchoBot
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