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Depression and osu?
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First off, and this is very very important, don't self-diagnose.
The Nocebo-effect is very much a thing and can have nasty consequences for you. Especially when it comes to mental health. You don't want to get trapped in an endless cycle of selectively noticing symptoms, re-affirming your self-image, consequently feeling miserable and then noticing more symptoms.
Don't self-diagnose. If you think that you are depressed, don't google your symptoms, but go to a professional.
On Topic: Playing osu falls in the very broad category of "distraction", and if played excessively, "escapism". Lets take a look at these two categories.
Distraction
Distraction can be a very helpful tool to cope with short-term sadness, and the overwhelming majority of people use it frequently. There is absolutely nothing bad about casually playing osu to combat casual sadness. It's a very normal and natural thing to do. It's similar to many forms of social coping, like having a beer with your friends to "get your mind off of something". In fact, playing osu can be a form of social coping, if you prefer multiplayer etc.
Escapism
However, the situation changes when people play osu excessively to cope with their problems. While it might feel relieving to click some circles at the moment, mid- and long-term it won't solve the problem. That is, because it simply does not address the problem.
As with all forms of escapism, it's a tactic that relies on avoidance.
Now, to be fair, there are problems that can be solved by avoiding them. Sadly, clinical depression is not one of the problems that can be solved that way.
To make it even worse, forms of escapism that socially isolate you (sitting in front of your computer, playing games for 14 hours a day), will often make the problem worse.
With a lack of social contact comes progressive alienation towards social scenarios. With progressive alienation towards social scenarios comes social anxiety. With social anxiety come feelings of general unworthiness, low self-esteem and other negative clusters that feed into depression.
tl;dr
So, in conclusion: There is nothing wrong about playing osu as distraction to combat the occasional sadness or even symptoms of clinical depression. However, if you escalate your play-times so much, that this game becomes a or the center of your life, if you use osu as a means to escape the world instead of "just taking a quick break".... then you are not doing yourself a favor. If you socially isolate yourself while playing, you are not doing yourself a favor either.
The Nocebo-effect is very much a thing and can have nasty consequences for you. Especially when it comes to mental health. You don't want to get trapped in an endless cycle of selectively noticing symptoms, re-affirming your self-image, consequently feeling miserable and then noticing more symptoms.
Don't self-diagnose. If you think that you are depressed, don't google your symptoms, but go to a professional.
On Topic: Playing osu falls in the very broad category of "distraction", and if played excessively, "escapism". Lets take a look at these two categories.
Distraction
Distraction can be a very helpful tool to cope with short-term sadness, and the overwhelming majority of people use it frequently. There is absolutely nothing bad about casually playing osu to combat casual sadness. It's a very normal and natural thing to do. It's similar to many forms of social coping, like having a beer with your friends to "get your mind off of something". In fact, playing osu can be a form of social coping, if you prefer multiplayer etc.
Escapism
However, the situation changes when people play osu excessively to cope with their problems. While it might feel relieving to click some circles at the moment, mid- and long-term it won't solve the problem. That is, because it simply does not address the problem.
As with all forms of escapism, it's a tactic that relies on avoidance.
Now, to be fair, there are problems that can be solved by avoiding them. Sadly, clinical depression is not one of the problems that can be solved that way.
To make it even worse, forms of escapism that socially isolate you (sitting in front of your computer, playing games for 14 hours a day), will often make the problem worse.
With a lack of social contact comes progressive alienation towards social scenarios. With progressive alienation towards social scenarios comes social anxiety. With social anxiety come feelings of general unworthiness, low self-esteem and other negative clusters that feed into depression.
tl;dr
So, in conclusion: There is nothing wrong about playing osu as distraction to combat the occasional sadness or even symptoms of clinical depression. However, if you escalate your play-times so much, that this game becomes a or the center of your life, if you use osu as a means to escape the world instead of "just taking a quick break".... then you are not doing yourself a favor. If you socially isolate yourself while playing, you are not doing yourself a favor either.
SPOILER
I used the Nocebo-effect very broadly here. Usually it just refers to actual, physical supplements that trigger a negative reaction even though they are inherently neutral. So think of your self-image as the "supplement", and the consecutive sadness as the triggered negative reaction. Conversely, an inherently negative supplement would be your favorite pet getting run over by a car and thus, the following sadness wouldn't be nocteboe'd.
Topic Starter
This is so true and it sucks when people that deserve these, don't get these enough. I don't know if I deserve these but I don't get them...Ayu wrote:
Related pic.
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Related pic.This is true... not much to say but only that everything in there is true.
Yup, osu helps me get over one thing: My mum and dad is prob divorcing and this game is making this totally fine.[ Scarlet Red ] wrote:
Something I've wanted to post for a while as to who actually is an osu player that has this?
What is depression?
For the not so logical... depression, simply put, is when you start getting pangs of sadness for a reason or maybe no reason. You feel terrible etc. Now why am I posting this in an osu forum?
I'm wondering if anybody here does the same as me: Uses osu as a way to cope.
People use many ways to cope... some of them not so good. Me? I use osu and simple music. Does anybody here have depression and do the same? It's an interesting topic to discuss in my opinion, and I'd also love to hear the reason osu is a way to cope?
Reason: Well many people have reasons for using what they use to cope. I have a specific reason as to why osu is used to cope... so I started this game 2 years back and originally it gave me an interesting feel that no game ever has. Ever since then it's felt like a classic and I could go back and reminisce the old days as well as play some stuff. I could also say that it's one thing I'm good at (altho... not really) and stuff.
Personally I think this is an interesting topic... so what's your view on using osu as an anti-depressant... or what do you use? Do you even have depression? What color is a purple dinosaur- wait a minute.... why would you ask what color a dinosaur is? Okay I'm weird... but idk seemed like an interesting thing to post... what do you think?
osu! has been somewhat.. a great distraction (? I guess) for me, especially when nothing just seems to be working for me and just thinking about it is enough to get me all down for a day. I wouldn't say that I've reached the point of depression such that I start cutting myself or whatnot, but osu! clears my mind of unpleasant thoughts. I pretty much feel like I'm in a different world(of circles,hue), free from my worries.
I don't really know how to express it, but osu! just relieves me of stress and stuff? It's like, tapping at the circles and hearing the beats go off, it feels so good, and then when I finally get kind of bored, I just head over to Multi-player for some competitiveness that hypes me up again.
Of course I have other games that I play, but it's not as stress relieving as osu! (yes I'm talking about stuff like League and CS), though I do play those mainly for it's competitive nature. Overall, osu! has been the best carefree and easy-going game I've played and I'm glad to have found this two months ago.
I don't really know how to express it, but osu! just relieves me of stress and stuff? It's like, tapping at the circles and hearing the beats go off, it feels so good, and then when I finally get kind of bored, I just head over to Multi-player for some competitiveness that hypes me up again.
Of course I have other games that I play, but it's not as stress relieving as osu! (yes I'm talking about stuff like League and CS), though I do play those mainly for it's competitive nature. Overall, osu! has been the best carefree and easy-going game I've played and I'm glad to have found this two months ago.
Jesus people, if you're using osu as a coping mechanism you need to seek out help.
Legitimate help, this is just a game and if you're actually depressed or feel that way you need to talk to someone and get whatever proper treatment you need.
Legitimate help, this is just a game and if you're actually depressed or feel that way you need to talk to someone and get whatever proper treatment you need.
A murrican telling other people to seek help.
How ironic is that... :V
How ironic is that... :V
Topic Starter
Um. Osu is a proper coping mechanism??? You of course need to seek out help but if you're feeling sad in that moment should we not play osu?? What's wrong with that?Alucard wrote:
Jesus people, if you're using osu as a coping mechanism you need to seek out help.
Legitimate help, this is just a game and if you're actually depressed or feel that way you need to talk to someone and get whatever proper treatment you need.
Lol! Yeah... idk XDAurani wrote:
A murrican telling other people to seek help.
How ironic is that... :V
Aurani wrote:
A murrican telling other people to seek help.
How ironic is that... :V
Yeah, deflect my comment.
I think I addressed your comment with my comment (top, page3). You don't distinguish between osu as a means of escapism and osu as a means of simple distraction. You should.Alucard wrote:
Aurani wrote:
A murrican telling other people to seek help.
How ironic is that... :V
Yeah, deflect my comment.
I do, never said I did.
Anything can be used to distract or as a form of escapism.
My comment is directed to the people who say they're depressed; not even calling into question if they are or not.
Edit: Also, agreed with your top post.
Anything can be used to distract or as a form of escapism.
My comment is directed to the people who say they're depressed; not even calling into question if they are or not.
Edit: Also, agreed with your top post.
You do realise how ignorant of a statement that was, right? You can't just tell those people to seek help, and you probably did so because you never even had proper depression in your life (if you, by any chance suffered from it, you wouldn't have made such a comment in the first place, else I'd just brand you as utterly stupid instead).
If they were capable of waltzing out of their comfort zones and seeking help, I don't think they'd need a random guy on a forum telling them to do it.
If they were capable of waltzing out of their comfort zones and seeking help, I don't think they'd need a random guy on a forum telling them to do it.
To be honest, the majority of people who say they are depressed is wrong, they are just feeling sad. I'm one of them, who can say that I'm depressed from time to time when in reality it's not depression I have. On the topic of using osu! as a way to "escape", I use the game to calm myself when angry, because it feels better to unleash your rage on your keyboard and you'll get so concentrated that you'll forget what you were being bothered of.
Please don't self-diagnose, as someone said in this thread before.
It is not fair to those who are honestly depressed and have been diagnosed properly for that.
To add onto my post, after visiting a few doctors around my city, I am almost "better" from their definition of depression. Although I feel happy, they say I can easily slip back into it if I am not staying strong. I really like this thread, thank you for making it.
It is not fair to those who are honestly depressed and have been diagnosed properly for that.
To add onto my post, after visiting a few doctors around my city, I am almost "better" from their definition of depression. Although I feel happy, they say I can easily slip back into it if I am not staying strong. I really like this thread, thank you for making it.
Stay stronk people, only you can change your situation~
Recently a psychiatrist diagnosed me with mild depression along with some other things I don't want to mention but I was told it was mostly due to stress and in a way osu! helps with that.
Yours isn't that bad either, if you were talking to me 
I don't have depression. But I get depressed sometimes since I fail at everything I do and life in general.
I'm using it because of someone, else I'd have a different one. :pLiiraye wrote:
Yours isn't that bad either, if you were talking to me
But yes, I was talking to you. =)
Yeah, I use osu to cope 
Sometimes ya just need a hug
Sometimes ya just need a hug
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Osu makes me depressed.
While playing video games does help cope with depression, I'm honestly not sure how a game with a perfection based scoring system would help. Even a 99% FC feels unfulfilling to me.
Yeah I feel the same thing to be honest. Nice topic to talk about, osu! helps me to escape reality, it helps me to forget about problems, because when I play, I play so focused, and I forget about everything else.
It's definitively the best game I've ever played, I hope I will play it for a long time.
I am usually not really social (in real life), I'd rather tell my feelings over a message in chats, than in real life, eyes to eyes with a person. I am sure there there are many more people like me.
As long as I play osu! and as long as it makes me forget about depression, I am happy.
It's definitively the best game I've ever played, I hope I will play it for a long time.
I am usually not really social (in real life), I'd rather tell my feelings over a message in chats, than in real life, eyes to eyes with a person. I am sure there there are many more people like me.
As long as I play osu! and as long as it makes me forget about depression, I am happy.
I play Osu because there's not much else I'm doing in real life. It gives me motivation and something to look forward to.
No better way to word it. Beautiful post, especially the part about caring. I'm going through a pretty shitty time in my life and nothing helps more than someone willing to sit down and listen to your venting. I should also add that clinical depression results in the brain's inability to produce enough serotonin.L0rdCthulhu wrote:
I understand you may be trying to be helpful, but I've seen this response to expressions of depression (ha, rhyme) all over the internet and in real life as well. I get that your sentiments are genuine, but if there's one thing depression isn't, it isn't simply getting bogged down in circumstances. Yes, this does happen frequently in depressed people, but fixing the situation isn't simply a problem of "getting motivated." If you'll allow me, I'd like to take some time to explain depression from the viewpoint of someone who has it.
remember that you have absolute power in your life and you can change it however you want.
False. False false false false. In my own mind as someone who's experienced depression, drawing the disabling mental illness wild card out of the genetics pool is analogous (but definitely NOT the same as) being born into a terrible socioeconomic situation. Yes, some people do "work their way out of it" and make great symptom-free lives for themselves, but a) this is definitely not the case for most people, and b) it is ridiculously, ridiculously hard to do so. Mental illness in its uglier forms can and does rob people of the capacity to lead healthy lives. A visit to any psychiatric hospital will confirm the existence of the absolutely insane amounts of sadness the human mind has the capacity to suffer under. Depression is real and not something that can be willed away by better diet and sunlight. Yes, these things may help, but realize that 1.) these things will not instantly cure what is a goddamn difficult to treat and very serious illness, and 2.) even the thought of taking these steps can be too much to ask for someone in the throes of depression. Living life as someone experiencing depression is like scuba diving with a bunch of friends, only to find out mid-dive that your equipment doesn't work-- sure, your friends are having the time of their lives exploring the reef and marveling at the pretty fishes, but in the meantime you're there, choking to death, frantically clawing at your oxygen tank and mask praying to any dear sweet deity that you don't pass out and die right there at the bottom of the ocean. Now, imagine those friends becoming frustrated and bored with your "antics" and insisting you "lighten up", enjoy the dive and the pretty coral and "stop being such a buzzkill." It's not very fun.
Some people (like my now-ex) think that depression is derived solely from a set of bad circumstances, and that once these circumstances the depression should by all rights go away. Again, false. The entirety of modern science recognizes that mental illness is a legitimate condition that doesn't ebb and flow according to how great your life is going on paper at any given moment. People may argue over whether money and fame can buy a person happiness, but at my most depressed I felt like nothing in the world I could have bought with money would make me feel any less suicidal.
Alright, you think, what the hell can people do about this? The good news is that people can and do get better. It happens all the time. The standard regimen of therapy and proper medicine regimens goes miles in helping depression, but honestly, for anyone who wants to help someone suffering from depression the best you can do is show that you care. I don't mean that you should offer advice like "hey, keep your chin up!" -- I mean show it. Offer what favors you can, like driving them to therapy or staying in with them and watching stupid cartoons. Anything. Sit with them, hold them, cry with them, listen (that's a big one - so many people have things to say, but not enough people stay long enough to hear them). Be a friend to someone in need.
I apologize for being long winded, just wanted to put some information out there that's not always readily understood. Thanks for bearing with me and I hope at least some of this was useful.
Taken from a beautiful post. Link here: http://www.reddit.com/tb/18qsuq
Hope this helps anybody who really doesn't understand how it is and hopefully clear some ignorance in the air.
This game actually makes me feel good at something. If I wanna relax I'll just play 4.5 star songs. If I want to challenge myself, I'll play up to 6 stars. (Half of the gun in the challenging stuff is failing) Either way it can help me forget what was making me anxious (if I even know what it is) or help me get through a depressive spell. Sometimes I forget to take my meds, so it's always good to have something to fall back on.
It used to work, but now my depression has increased back to the state it was many years ago, and even Osu can't take my sadness away.. I feel depressed nearly 24/7, anything i do feels meaningless and my life feels pointless.. I normally don't talk about this openly, but i saw this post and decided to reply..[ Scarlet Red ] wrote:
I'm wondering if anybody here does the same as me: Uses osu as a way to cope.
I used to have many friends to talk with, and get my mind away from all the shit it makes me think.. But now it seems like i don't have that window anymore.
Yep I do, especially since my parents took away my medication lol..
Osu helps me to cope a lot, since I'm so focused in the music and the rhythm that I forget about everything else. It doesn't always work, sometimes I'm feeling so bad I literally can't do anything, but it's a nice way to pass the time and feel better about myself.
I know this!! I just fucking lie in my bed and want to watch anime or tv or play a game but then I think about it and I am just like "no......"
Sometimes medication can be dangerousTOP KEK MATE wrote:
What the fuck, why would they do that?Mono98 wrote:
Yep I do, especially since my parents took away my medication lol..
Haven't gotten any support from them anyways. They literally just don't care about this
That's sad.. you need parents support first.Mono98 wrote:
Haven't gotten any support from them anyways. They literally just don't care about this
Stay strong :3I probably won't. During the school year they say it is because of stress, during winter they say it is winter depression and it will go away when it gets warm again (even though Autumn-Winter are my favourite seasons?!), sometimes they say it is because a lack of movement and/or high blood pressure (both is bullshit, all the doctor's said my pressure is perfect and I do a bit of sports sometimes), sometimes they say it is the fault of the games I play or anime but I hardly have any motivation to play/watch anything besides a few maps of osu! a day anymore, and if they can't think of anything better they say it is puberty, though all of the doctors I went to (3) told me they don't think it is hormones
Will be moving out in 3 years anyways
but thanks for your words^^
Will be moving out in 3 years anyways
but thanks for your words^^
I know this. I literally took it only 2 times, so I don't know if it would've helped. The doctor said I should come to him or call him once a week to tell him how I feel and if it helps me, possible side effects etc.. Would have been worth a shot for me definitely.Waifu420Laifu wrote:
Sometimes medication can be dangerous
Read if you wantI know this is a old topic, but I thought it would be an awesome post for me to talk on. Since considering my depression and hard lifestyle is what keeps me on this game. I'm 21 (I said 13 on my osu profile as a joke mind that.)
I suffered from depression since I was little, I got it when my mother died from a car accident when I was 13 years old. I also was home schooled by her, so she was my world to me. I was a mama's boy. I also grew up with a really vicious father, I don't recall much. But I know that I was hit quite a but as a kid. Such as punched and so on.. I even recall being whipped with horse whip for simply not eating. Due to this I would go to my mother for love, since I couldn't find it anywhere else. I was alone and homeschooled, how could I have friends? When she died that's when I started hiding in my room all day, i was scared of my father. I still avoid him at all costs. I started to get into gaming, and anime, and music along with being.. social online.
I found osu on my search for a games, it looked.. perfect. It had music.. it had anime and it looked hard and something I could waste my time on so I could forget about my bad life. I started playing it, soon I fell in love with it. I gained friends, that I could now never live without. For, I love them with all my heart even if I annoy them to bloody death. Growing up, I was always considered the freak, the outcast the person people point fingers at and laughed at. My family thinks I am mentally screwed up, still does and most likely wont ever change how they see me. Due to my hard life I have tried to kill myself three times in my life span , first one I was merely 14, when I was alone with my father and I felt unloved nor cared for. The other was 18 when I first found out I was going to be mocked for the rest of my life just for being me. The most recent would be 20, when I got beat by my father and pinned to floor(getting slapped) since he found out about my sexulity and something else i don't feel like meationing...However, From 18-20 each time I was stopped by my osu friends, they showed me love and that I wasn't a freak doomed to fail.
I grew up with osu, I love osu, I love hate the people here. They helped me get past many more hard times in my life. If it wasn't for this game, and a lot of the people on this game. There is a high chance I wouldn't be typing here to you right now. This game makes me feel loved, it makes me feel like I have a reason to wake up. So, Ppy thank you so much for creating this game. You saved me in more ways than one. You are one of my biggest heros and I love you for it. Even if we never met. There is much more to this story but, I beefed this out long enough already. So.. thank you so much.
I suffered from depression since I was little, I got it when my mother died from a car accident when I was 13 years old. I also was home schooled by her, so she was my world to me. I was a mama's boy. I also grew up with a really vicious father, I don't recall much. But I know that I was hit quite a but as a kid. Such as punched and so on.. I even recall being whipped with horse whip for simply not eating. Due to this I would go to my mother for love, since I couldn't find it anywhere else. I was alone and homeschooled, how could I have friends? When she died that's when I started hiding in my room all day, i was scared of my father. I still avoid him at all costs. I started to get into gaming, and anime, and music along with being.. social online.
I found osu on my search for a games, it looked.. perfect. It had music.. it had anime and it looked hard and something I could waste my time on so I could forget about my bad life. I started playing it, soon I fell in love with it. I gained friends, that I could now never live without. For, I love them with all my heart even if I annoy them to bloody death. Growing up, I was always considered the freak, the outcast the person people point fingers at and laughed at. My family thinks I am mentally screwed up, still does and most likely wont ever change how they see me. Due to my hard life I have tried to kill myself three times in my life span , first one I was merely 14, when I was alone with my father and I felt unloved nor cared for. The other was 18 when I first found out I was going to be mocked for the rest of my life just for being me. The most recent would be 20, when I got beat by my father and pinned to floor(getting slapped) since he found out about my sexulity and something else i don't feel like meationing...However, From 18-20 each time I was stopped by my osu friends, they showed me love and that I wasn't a freak doomed to fail.
I grew up with osu, I love osu, I love hate the people here. They helped me get past many more hard times in my life. If it wasn't for this game, and a lot of the people on this game. There is a high chance I wouldn't be typing here to you right now. This game makes me feel loved, it makes me feel like I have a reason to wake up. So, Ppy thank you so much for creating this game. You saved me in more ways than one. You are one of my biggest heros and I love you for it. Even if we never met. There is much more to this story but, I beefed this out long enough already. So.. thank you so much.
B1rd wrote:
I don't have depression. But I get depressed sometimes since I fail at everything I do and life in general.
I'm touched by this... I had a lot of friends like this, wished could have been there to help you when you need it.Shota wrote:
Read if you wantI know this is a old topic, but I thought it would be an awesome post for me to talk on. Since considering my depression and hard lifestyle is what keeps me on this game. I'm 21 (I said 13 on my osu profile as a joke mind that.)
I suffered from depression since I was little, I got it when my mother died from a car accident when I was 13 years old. I also was home schooled by her, so she was my world to me. I was a mama's boy. I also grew up with a really vicious father, I don't recall much. But I know that I was hit quite a but as a kid. Such as punched and so on.. I even recall being whipped with horse whip for simply not eating. Due to this I would go to my mother for love, since I couldn't find it anywhere else. I was alone and homeschooled, how could I have friends? When she died that's when I started hiding in my room all day, i was scared of my father. I still avoid him at all costs. I started to get into gaming, and anime, and music along with being.. social online.
I found osu on my search for a games, it looked.. perfect. It had music.. it had anime and it looked hard and something I could waste my time on so I could forget about my bad life. I started playing it, soon I fell in love with it. I gained friends, that I could now never live without. For, I love them with all my heart even if I annoy them to bloody death. Growing up, I was always considered the freak, the outcast the person people point fingers at and laughed at. My family thinks I am mentally screwed up, still does and most likely wont ever change how they see me. Due to my hard life I have tried to kill myself three times in my life span , first one I was merely 14, when I was alone with my father and I felt unloved nor cared for. The other was 18 when I first found out I was going to be mocked for the rest of my life just for being me. The most recent would be 20, when I got beat by my father and pinned to floor(getting slapped) since he found out about my sexulity and something else i don't feel like meationing...However, From 18-20 each time I was stopped by my osu friends, they showed me love and that I wasn't a freak doomed to fail.
I grew up with osu, I love osu, I love hate the people here. They helped me get past many more hard times in my life. If it wasn't for this game, and a lot of the people on this game. There is a high chance I wouldn't be typing here to you right now. This game makes me feel loved, it makes me feel like I have a reason to wake up. So, Ppy thank you so much for creating this game. You saved me in more ways than one. You are one of my biggest heros and I love you for it. Even if we never met. There is much more to this story but, I beefed this out long enough already. So.. thank you so much.
I'm touched by this... I had a lot of friends like this, wished could have been there to help you when you need it.You still can help me, life is a struggle for me and most likely will be until I die. I am always up for making new friends, and you seem really kind. If you want my skype and crap you can PM me so I don't get random adds. c: But, one thing, don't just be my friend out of pure pity </3
You have a bright future ahead of you! Thank you for sharing thisShota wrote:
Read if you wantI know this is a old topic, but I thought it would be an awesome post for me to talk on. Since considering my depression and hard lifestyle is what keeps me on this game. I'm 21 (I said 13 on my osu profile as a joke mind that.)
I suffered from depression since I was little, I got it when my mother died from a car accident when I was 13 years old. I also was home schooled by her, so she was my world to me. I was a mama's boy. I also grew up with a really vicious father, I don't recall much. But I know that I was hit quite a but as a kid. Such as punched and so on.. I even recall being whipped with horse whip for simply not eating. Due to this I would go to my mother for love, since I couldn't find it anywhere else. I was alone and homeschooled, how could I have friends? When she died that's when I started hiding in my room all day, i was scared of my father. I still avoid him at all costs. I started to get into gaming, and anime, and music along with being.. social online.
I found osu on my search for a games, it looked.. perfect. It had music.. it had anime and it looked hard and something I could waste my time on so I could forget about my bad life. I started playing it, soon I fell in love with it. I gained friends, that I could now never live without. For, I love them with all my heart even if I annoy them to bloody death. Growing up, I was always considered the freak, the outcast the person people point fingers at and laughed at. My family thinks I am mentally screwed up, still does and most likely wont ever change how they see me. Due to my hard life I have tried to kill myself three times in my life span , first one I was merely 14, when I was alone with my father and I felt unloved nor cared for. The other was 18 when I first found out I was going to be mocked for the rest of my life just for being me. The most recent would be 20, when I got beat by my father and pinned to floor(getting slapped) since he found out about my sexulity and something else i don't feel like meationing...However, From 18-20 each time I was stopped by my osu friends, they showed me love and that I wasn't a freak doomed to fail.
I grew up with osu, I love osu, I love hate the people here. They helped me get past many more hard times in my life. If it wasn't for this game, and a lot of the people on this game. There is a high chance I wouldn't be typing here to you right now. This game makes me feel loved, it makes me feel like I have a reason to wake up. So, Ppy thank you so much for creating this game. You saved me in more ways than one. You are one of my biggest heros and I love you for it. Even if we never met. There is much more to this story but, I beefed this out long enough already. So.. thank you so much.
I've suffered from manic depression since I was pretty young, around the time my father left and I started being homeschooled. I've been using osu! as I suppose a form of escapism for a few years. It's like a way of shutting my brain off, it's kind of mindless and I don't have to care about what's going on around me. It's helpful, really.
I think that is pretty normal as long as I does not get chronic. Be careful, see a doctor as soon as you might think it might be something more or it starts to occur more often.thelewa wrote:
B1rd wrote:
I don't have depression. But I get depressed sometimes since I fail at everything I do and life in general.
Harumi wrote:
You have a bright future ahead of you! Thank you for sharing this
Thank you Haru ,-, I hope you are right.
Well, I started playing osu! at first purely out of interest for the evergreen game. But over time, I realised that I maybe have been playing it to cope. I'm actually constantly depressed all day and every day, and it's been like that for a long time, to be honest, it just got worse. I won't share what's causing me trouble, since I'm just here saying I too probably feel the same. But yeah, I hope I get over this pain soon and play like how I used to before.
Peace, fellow osu! players.
Peace, fellow osu! players.