Pho wrote:

As part of a M4M~

[General]

1. Some tags you might want to consider to add: ' Tokunan 徳南 Kyuuhouji 九宝時 c85 '. Song was released on comiket 85 and Tokunan/Kyuuhouji are the members of the circle.
2. 03:18:239 - Redundant green line. Or did you intend to lower SV here by 0.1 like you did in the last kiai?
3. TR2 might be a good idea.
   applied everything

[<3]

1. 00:11:006 (7,8) - Whistle on head of 8 instead, you're following the keyboard with the whistles right?
2. 01:29:182 (4,5,6,7) - I found the flow in this pattern pretty awkward because of the transition between 5-6. Ctrl+H Slider 5 and position it a bit more to the bottom-right of slider 6 might help: http://puu.sh/fghY9/0cd0d8b5c8.jpg made slight adjustments to 5
3. 01:10:123 (4) - Now this is kind of awkward, but I can't identify a beat on the red tick here where the slider is starting. Instead, do this: http://puu.sh/fgmnR/5291fac5e3.jpg there is indeed a sound there, its just relatively soft and you need good headphones to hear it clearly
4. 01:11:711 (2) - Consider to curve this slightly so it fits aesthetically better with the upcoming bagel slider: http://puu.sh/fgpqd/a2c040ae58.jpg
5. 01:35:182 (3) - Whistle on head feels additive here, consider deleting it OR, what would also be possible, set it on the tail instead this is there to accent the finish in the music, using a finish would be too much here
6. 01:43:300 (4) - Ctrl+J would make for a smoother flow here.
7. 02:00:063 (4,5) - I'd rather have a jump at 02:00:416 (5,1) - than here, especially since there's no strong emphasis on this note either the distances are inverted intentionally to contrast the first section which had the correct emphasis
8. 02:12:946 (4) - Position at 152 | 248 for smoother flow?
9. 02:29:710 (2) - Drum clap here for consistency with previous claps.
10. 02:36:416 (2) - Normal-whistle should be at head of slider only. there is a different sound in the left channel that im following here
11. 02:42:592 (4) - I know you're avoiding the first 2 claps here to avoid overhitsounding, but it might be a good idea to set a clap on this tail.
12. 02:58:828 (2) - Position at 268 | 171 so it stacks with 02:59:887 (5) - stacked with 02:57:416 (4) instead
13. 03:00:416 (6) - How about this instead: http://puu.sh/fgfBh/f2857d79a8.jpg i personally like this type of flow
14. 03:17:357 (7,1) - I feel this could need a smaller jump too for the strong beat at 1. Position it at 245 | 358 ?
15. 04:37:298 (1,3) - Would look better if you'd stack it: http://puu.sh/fgjsH/a7bc39e9c0.jpg
16. 04:50:181 (5,6,7,8) - How about refining this pattern a bit: http://puu.sh/fgjHL/6223402843.jpg
17. 04:55:828 (5) - There isn't really a beat at this point, so consider to delete it. i can hear a pretty distinct beat here
18. 04:59:534 (3,4) - How about setting drumclaps here instead, would be nice as you did the same previously in a similar pattern already.
19. 05:40:122 (3,4) - crying for a blanket here.
20. 05:43:651 (7,1) - NCing at 7 instead might be a good idea.
21. 05:53:622 (1) - happy30spinner imitation kills me. :c i've lowered the drain to compensate

Not much to say here, this map's pretty much cleaned up already. Call me back when you think it's ready.

Timorisu wrote:

[General]

A lot of the red-point sliders struck as me unnecessary, might just be me though i love red points xD

[Is this diffname rankable]

00:42:947 (1) - Red point is barely noticeable

01:02:711 (1) - ^

01:29:182 (4) - CTRL+G maybe? I think the current movement is kind of awkward fixed the positioning from a previous mod

01:43:300 (4) - ^

02:16:122 (1,2,3,4) - This pattern is kind of off-putting since the main beats you used previously are now on the sliderends. You could delete 02:17:181 (5) - , then move 02:16:299 (2,3,4) - one tick back each, then place a circle at 02:16:299 - at x:312 y:132 or somewhere in that area actually for this pattern i was following the sound at 02:16:122 - 02:16:299 - and 02:17:181 - 02:17:357 -

02:17:534 (1) - Red point is barely noticeable

02:42:592 (1) - NC to indicate spacing change (?) i think this one is clear enough

02:43:122 (2) - Remove NC this is there to avoid combo counts over 10

03:00:416 (6) - I think this being close to the previous object wouild make more sense. Maybe you're even better off removing this and adding a repeat to 5

03:04:651 (4) - Can't really make out what this is mapped to, if anything there is definitely a beat in the music here

03:39:416 (1) - Minor thing but the slidertrack is overlapping with the sliderhead a little thats intentional to give a "closed" feeling without hindering rankability

04:25:651 (6) - A circle would do better here probably, seeing as the kiai even restarts if i do that then there is no object to cover 04:25:828, which is necessary for transition sake

04:38:004 (3) - Move to x:368 y2:68 to avoid the huge overlap

04:55:828 (5) - Can't make out what this is mapped to either again, a minor sound is present here

05:02:004 (5) - Delete, add a repeat to 05:01:298 (4) - and place a circle at x:344 y:80 not sure why this is necessary, its merely doing the samething as 05:04:122 (4,5) and right before the end

Outro is neat o: but 05:53:622 (1) - ;W; this isn't necessary at all happy30second spinner!