ilu2 you wonderful personrachel wrote:
ur a fagetMaeglwn wrote:
-snip-
ilymaegdonthurtmepls<3
writing is the hardest thing to motivate yourself to do without outside helpCalignoBot wrote:
I've kinda always been slow with just about everything compared to everyone else and it's been a burden on myself and everyone around me for a long time, but I'm trying to catch up and get my life to where it should be at my age. I'm that kind of person that is incredibly lazy, but more because I operate on momentum. It's very difficult for me to start things, but it's also very difficult for me to stop things unless I can transition into something similar. A lot of these things aren't really recent per se, but it's close enough to be relevant.
I dropped out of college after two years due to my own incompatibility with the entire education system. It had been completely obvious to me that continuing with that would never have been beneficial in the end, despite my parents trying their damned hardest to persuade me away. Shortly after, I got a job at a grocery store (primarily to start paying on the student loan bills) and have been focusing almost entirely on making sure my coworkers and managers have as positive an opinion as possible about me. Primarily, I've been trying to improve communication in my department and become a support that people can rely on since... our department is notorious for having people leave or get forcibly kicked out within two months of them joining. One side effect of working here is that I'm also actually gaining social skills since I never talked to anyone during high school.
I'm also working on finally getting a driver's license so I don't have to drown in my own sweat when walking to and from work anymore, and also so that I have a lot more freedom in where I can get a job in the future. Pretty much all of this should've been done once I was out of high school (no way it was ever happening during high school or I would never have graduated).
I'm also trying to work more on writing, since I plan on eventually becoming a full time writer and have too many ideas in my head to just keep them there. Motivation is getting difficult to come by, though...
Slip wrote:
Sorry if my 'essay' comes off as really unorganized, but I'm not a very good writer. Anyways, the past year has been my most productive as far as self improvement goes. The biggest thing that happened to me was probably entering online school. Besides the fact that I'm inside the house more often, it's been nothing but improvements. Public school was just not for me. My grades were horrible. 1 A, rest D's and F's. Not to come off as pompous, but I knew that it wasn't entirely my fault, my classmates were just idiots really. They goofed around, forcing the teacher to have to stop teaching, and the teachers had no backbones, they would never kick them out or anything. So as a result I and anybody who wanted to learn never learned, and all of us got bad grades. By near the end of the year I got into online school, a complete 180. A's and B's.
But, I did get lazy. No working out, sitting on the seat all day. Up until 2 days ago I failed to realize that a huge part of my laziness and not doing anything was because I cared too much about what other thought/said. I stopped playing online games all together, which was really my only contact with any other human beings. I stopped talking to people period. My friends would come over and try to get me to go outside, but I wasn't interested at all. Thanks to some guidance I got from (mostly) myself, I began to turn it around. I already didn't eat chips or anything like that, but my diet was and still is pretty bad. Hotpockets... Pizza... Healthy food is off my radar, so I have to fix that.
Anyways, back to me turning myself around. A huge amount of my enjoyment and happiness was cut off because I was scared that other people would not like what I did, or said, or thought, or anything. That's anxiety I was dealing with for the past 3-4 years. Tbh, I'm kinda disappointing in myself that it took me so long to realize that I need to do what I want to do and not care what other thought unless need be. But hey, it could be worse. Besides all that, I think I should close this post, didn't exactly intend to drag it on for this many paragraphs, but there was nobody for me to talk to this about, as I'm not very good with face to face communication anyways.
To close this post off, I guess I'll list things that I've done to improve myself I guess. Even now I don't feel like posting this cause Idk what others will think, but I'm already several paragraphs in, so here goes nothing.
1) Entered online school (I'm sure it's not for everyone, but this was the best decision I made for my education yet.)
2) Started to look at myself more (There's a lot of things I didn't exactly know about myself that I've been learning recently, for example that thing I listed one paragraph up)
3) Started exercising again.
4) Trying out new things.
I've been dealing with abstaining from fapping for over a year now, pretty daunting commitment, but I keep going because I know it will be worth it, from past experiences. I've been interested in changing my sleep cycles for a few weeks now but I "never got around to it". I wouldn't mind links if you want to send them.Magicphoenix wrote:
SPOILERThat's actually amazing. I especially value the nr. 4) - Sometimes you just have to say 'yes' to everything you get invited to and however boring it might appear, it is always better than doing the same in same out stuff in front of your computer or TV or whatever. + Who knows, within these things that you go to, there might be your hidden passion waiting for you.
As for me:
I'm introverted by nature and was always addicted to video games and anime. I had (and still kinda have - became much better though) horrible social skills and I have always been plagued by speech jamming since my language skills aren't so good (My parents are chinese and I grew up learning their horrible german).
Fast forward, I enjoy going outside on my own now and I've kinda started getting out of my comfort zone, doing funny things in public, making people laugh by being random (like dancing in public or taking strangerselfies and all the weird stuff) and it's really awesome to see and meet new people.
I've also stopped fapping and watching porn, the biggest hurdle of any male in the internet age. It dulls your mind, makes you socially impotenter and generally stops you from speaking to girls since you can always go back to your fap cave and jack one off after a bad day.
For my 3rd point - I started sleeping in 1,5hr cycles which reduces my sleeping time to 7,5 or even 6 hrs, with 1-2 20 minute naps over the day. It not only prevents you from oversleeping and missing half of the day 'coz u slept 11 hours, it also stops you from being tired (duh) by sleeping either too short or too long. I could send links if you really want to see a source.
4th: Started eating better. Not necessarily very healthy, but better. Still eat more fried than baked, but at least it's only meat. Sweets and Snacks are nailed down to nuts and fruit only. Vegetables twice a day ofc and my drinks have been narrowed down to water and orange juice.
I also take more care to have a good posture, be open and smile more. My language skills still suck but at least I look confident while shouting grammatically wrong stuff!
My biggest problem: I still don't exercise as much as I should. In fact, I don't - at all. I feel the only way to build muscle is workout either at home or the gym and I did that for 7 weeks, until my class trip came up - I ate shit and garbage, had fun but still ate shit - and now I'm back to status quo and a lazy couch potatoe doing nothing that improves my physique since my motivation went down, but most importantly my commitment has faded now. I'm 16 now so joining a sports club might be somewhat awkward too since I'm kinda too old for joining a sports club now, am I. (volleyball)
There's a little mountain of bobble building in my stomach area and my face has always been round and fat-looking, which I HATE!!
Well, thanks for this thread JAKACHAN, kind of helps venting when you write down some stuff that's on your mind. Also, keep fighting everyone!
PS: I also only take cold showers now - improves your immune system, is much more comfortable for your body in the summer, literally cools your mind, makes you feel like a man, weakens your libido (urge to masturbate) and is much better for your skin & hair.
If you want to keep yourself the most alert and not have to deal with that drowsy feeling then you can always check out this site.Slip wrote:
I've been dealing with abstaining from fapping for over a year now, pretty daunting commitment, but I keep going because I know it will be worth it, from past experiences. I've been interested in changing my sleep cycles for a few weeks now but I "never got around to it". I wouldn't mind links if you want to send them.
Hey, I use this website!JAKACHAN wrote:
If you want to keep yourself the most alert and not have to deal with that drowsy feeling then you can always check out this site.
http://sleepyti.me/
Just put when you want to wake up and it will give you all the times you can sleep at with the best few as well highlighted a different color!
I'm really glad you have begun these changes. I feel like this is a step in the right direction for you and I encourage you to continue pursuing these changes as long as they continue to make you feel better.Static Noise Bird wrote:
I took a break from osu! just to return to get silenced for 2 weeks right away, for no reason. That means I was gone for about a month in total. I realized a few things during that time.Things to do include mainly having to focus more on school and less on people. A small step for a person like me, easily overcomeable, when school continues. Even if I did want to spend time with people, I would need to make sure that they are worth my time. Which is really tough, considering that I only know osu! people (NEDM is cool though). At least I have a few IRL friends.
- People suck. A lot.
- osu! people suck even more, like holy fuck. Most of you guys have no idea about the sense of rationality.
- People are really shallow, and tend to pretend shit that don't really matter to them a single bit.
- I have things to do. Like serious things that will help me get better at life.
I've spent time watching movies, even playing video games which is something completely new to me aside from Pokémon and Spyro. That's actually fun. I've spent time outdoors, hanging out at the beach, taking random walks and bus/train trips to nowhere. I've even found my motivation in making music again, and oh boy is that stuff delightful and refreshing. I've also slept a lot, escaping reality is another fun hobby of mine. ASMR videos have helped me a lot with seeing mostly good dreams.
Elliott Hulse's videos have become really helpful with managing my mindset and so on, there's some really good ideas I will, I HAVE TO adapt to my life in the future. I don't want to end up depressed, compliant, bound to fucking unnecessary things that will do shit for me. "Be an egomaniac!" - Elliott Hulse, 2014
So yeah, anyway, I'm leaving the city in 6 days, which means a lot of more good things for me for another week. I need to get my shit together before school starts, and continue keeping my shit together when the school starts. Shouldn't be tough, considering that I will have to do this, and it's my last 1,5 years coming up next - mainly easy subjects, and the interesting ones. Also Swedish, but who cares.
Thanks, much appreciated .JAKACHAN wrote:
SPOILERIf you want to keep yourself the most alert and not have to deal with that drowsy feeling then you can always check out this site.
http://sleepyti.me/
Just put when you want to wake up and it will give you all the times you can sleep at with the best few as well highlighted a different color!
Yeah, shyness and bullying sucks. Good thing time usually heals stuff like that.Lyvarna wrote:
SPOILERI haven't been on a forum in a while, so forgive me if I'm not proper enough or too proper, but I've made some changes over the past year (or maybe two) that I don't mind sharing. c:
Like many others on the Internet, I am fairly shy, and I decided to stop letting it hold me back. I was never a shy or quiet person when I was younger, but I was bullied in elementary school which caused me to lose a lot of my confidence (appearance, abilities, etc.). All of the friends that I had when I was younger have always hurt me in one way or another, so I grew fairly untrusting of others. Thankfully I transferred schools in 7th grade and the bullying stopped, but I was still very insecure and afraid of people. I even made a very good friend who is still my best friend to this day. In high school, my shyness hindered me a lot. I made some friends, but I always cared so much of what others thought of me and it made me really depressed. A lot of it was by my own means, but I slowly realized that people's opinions of me shouldn't matter and they shouldn't affect my mood. I started to be myself instead of trying to "fit in" (which I wasn't particularly good at, anyways). I'm still pretty quiet and I don't talk unless I have something meaningful to say, but I don't hold back nearly as much as I used to and I am very content with the progress that I made. I'm a much happier person because of it! It took away 90% of my depression (and I'm sure the remaining 10% is just part of being a teenage girl).
In addition to that, I improved my grades drastically. When I was really young, I always excelled in school and did my best, but around the time I started to get bullied, my grades reflected how I was feeling. Unfortunately my grades were still pretty low in my freshman year of high school, but I can proudly say that I ended junior year with all A's.
My last thing is something I'm still working on, and it's finding a balance between being a kind person and being able to stand up for myself. I've gone through phases where I'm either way too nice and get pushed around, or I try standing up for myself but go too far and come off as overly-aggressive. It's hard to find a balance, but I've been trying to over the past two years and I think I'm slowly getting there. I want to be the best person that I can be, and I consider myself to be very open-hearted and understanding, but sometimes people take advantage of me and when I try to defend myself, I go too far. I want to be seen as a positive person, but I don't want people to think that they can treat me however they please.
Finally, I've tried to be more open with making new friendships and maintaining contact with old friends too. I'm a lot better at doing it online than in the real world, but I think that doing it online enables me to do it more easily when the time comes to do so in real life. I go to an all-girls school with 600 students, so I don't really have that many opportunities to make new friends (everyone already knows everyone and they know whether or not they want to be your friend) but I'd like to be a more sociable person in college, so I'm practicing. I've also found that I end up with one close friend, and I get attached, then if we get into an argument or something I become completely emotionally wrecked. I'm working on trying to have multiple close friends rather than one person to rely on, because for myself I don't feel that it is a healthy behavior.
Writing about this helped a lot! It made me realize how much progress I've made and how much I've yet to do. c: Thanks for reading, and I wish everyone the best of luck in improving themselves through whatever means necessary.
sooooo...pics pls? :Uztrot wrote:
I lost loads of weight
>Help you in the long run.kynolenkun wrote:
Started to run with ankle weights and just the weights that you hold to hope i could get faster and stronger.
I'm not in track or anything, just its one of those things that would kind of help you in the long run.
Good job and good luck!KazmiSain wrote:
My family has been worried about me, since im always in front of the computer playing video game and watching anime.
They are always saying the same thing over and over again like
Ex. ' You should go outside the weather is great. and ' you should socialize yourself more'
I cant blame them cuz they are right.
As a person iam shy and quiet. This is probly cuz of my speech disorder (stuttering) and Social anxiety disorder (SAD). In high school i got bullied a lot bcuz of my speech disorder, which also lowered my selfconfidence. I hated reading out loud for the class because my classmates, were grining and trying hard not to laugh out loud.
But i had a couple of good freinds, who were backing me up during that hard time.
My parents suggested that i should go to a private school this year, because its less students and the teachers care more.
Im also going to speak with a speech therapist soo that i stutter less and can build up my selfconfidence.
Im trying to get out of the house more
Im trying to use my computer and cell phone less now
Im going to bed earlier
Im going to be more social
Im less lazy then b4 and i started exercising
this is so inspiring, and its true ppl are fake . soooo fake-Seren- wrote:
staying away from people who can lower my self-esteem; accepting people; trying to feel less detached even tho it's a bit hard (cos some days I think that it's better to be rather detached and distant. people are so fake anyway); and opening up to people when I could
not all of them, ofc.Sakura_rocks wrote:
this is so inspiring, and its true ppl are fake . soooo fake-Seren- wrote:
staying away from people who can lower my self-esteem; accepting people; trying to feel less detached even tho it's a bit hard (cos some days I think that it's better to be rather detached and distant. people are so fake anyway); and opening up to people when I could