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Dan Quinn aka The Angel Maitreya

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Nachy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaBUi-CnqPo&feature=related



An Intro to the Man, the Myth, the Legend Dan Quinn

Meet former Notre Dame ballplayer and UFC fighter Dan Quinn, also known as the Angel Maitreya, also known as the inventor of cold fission. He stopped playing ball amid an allegedly bogus attempt rape charge, so he instead decided to fight for a living. Nowadays he's over 40 years old and lives with his mother. God has spoken to him, however, informing him of his angel status and now he spends his afternoons mixing the sweetener Stevia with water in a blender, which "explodes into a soup" (the miracle of cold fission) and purifies your body when you drink it, cleansing your body of cancer and excess weight.

According to him, he is the toughest man on the planet thanks to Stevia's health benefits, and compares himself to Muhammad Ali regularly. Dan threw his son down the stairs to prove Stevia has magic power and compared it to the war in Iraq. The power of Stevia brought his nearly-dead cat back to life. He has an imaginary friendship/partnership with Mark Brannon (Mel Gibson from Tequila Sunrise) and he thinks the character from the Bad Boy clothing line was modeled after him because he beat up 5 guys at a bar one time.

What we know about the mysterious Dan Quinn

He is a snake oil salesman who is trying to push some thing called Stevia (steve eee uh) that supposedly cures cancer, brings dead cats back to life, makes you lose weight, will cure global warming and is somehow related to cold fission, which he invented in his kitchen.

He played college ball at Notre Dame until he was expelled for rape + steroids

He is an MMA fighter and literally thinks he is the toughest man on the planet.

He lives with his mom and is 41 years old and has kids

He thinks God talked to him and told him 1) he will be the richest man in the world and 2) he is an angel named Maitreya (my-tray-uh)

That's just a rough sketch, he is 100% serious











Dan Quinn taking a milky bonghit





Actual demonstration of the Stevia blending process.



Dan Quinn argues in the car with his mother.



Dan Quinn crying, wanting to be reincarnated as Muhammad Ali.



A rant about a locker room incident 20 years ago, how Stevia will end all drug use in the United States.



An enraged Dan calls out Dana White. actual demonstration of the Stevia blending process.



Dan gives a little tour of his Stevia soup jugs to the ladies.

THANK YOU FOR READING!!!
Cuddlebun
what a badass
anonymous_old
what a bad ass
Ephemeral
This is older than the internet, and was never once, and never will be, any semblance of funny.
NoHitter
wow
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