I had 4 flies on my floor today and 1 cat. The cat failed being cat so it was up to me to do her job instead. Or maybe she was still mad at me from all your horrid suggestions. A cat's mind is an enigma and we may never know. Regardless, I had to learn new skills today that pushed my mind and body beyond what should be humanly possible, and I would like to share that with you all.
The first thing you need to do, and this is VERY important, is observe the fly. If you don't observe the fly this can be a sign of things much much worse than you think. If you can't see or hear it, you can't catch it right? Right. Then what are you catching then? Ask that to poor uncle iroh trying his best here
Ok so once you have confirmed it's not in your head, you can proceed to hunting it down. Now you *can* try and clap it mid air, but unless you have some top tier AR 12 senses you are better of not doing that. Furthermore if you try that you might end up hurting your hands instead. Perhaps you have a fly swatter and are thinking of using that. Yea, sure go ahead, I'll wait. You have 3 more flies to catch after that one by the way.
Ok if you are still here, and not chasing the fly with a swatter, then you might have it what it takes to be a fly catching master! What you need to do is wait for the fly to land on a flat surface. Yea no duh. Ok here is where the magic happens. And no, you don't slam your hand against it. You are going to bruise your hand that way.
Shape your hand into a dome like formation to give the fly a little house. Make it gap tight so the fly can't escape. No watch which way the fly facing. Make sure you off-center it just slightly against where the fly is facing. And then swiftly, but gently, cover the fly. You off-center it because when flies start flying they start by going backwards first when they see the front of your hand.
Ok you may or may not have gotten the fly. You are not sure. Keep your hand there and wait several seconds. The fly will try to fly, and you will hear or feel it buzzing in its little house. Ok, wew. The hard part is over. Now make an ever so slight opening where the fly can barely squeeze through. It will try to go for it. When it does, gently close it but not all the way. Just enough to crush the fly a tiny bit. You should hear a slight crackle.
Hear that? That's the source of annoyance leaving the room. You can now lift the hand and watch the fly drop. If you see maggots you screwed up and the mess is your fault to clean up. If you did it correct it should still be alive but unable to fly. You can now grab it by the wings and give it a ye good ol' flush down the holy drain. Make sure to wash your hands after that one.
The first thing you need to do, and this is VERY important, is observe the fly. If you don't observe the fly this can be a sign of things much much worse than you think. If you can't see or hear it, you can't catch it right? Right. Then what are you catching then? Ask that to poor uncle iroh trying his best here
Ok so once you have confirmed it's not in your head, you can proceed to hunting it down. Now you *can* try and clap it mid air, but unless you have some top tier AR 12 senses you are better of not doing that. Furthermore if you try that you might end up hurting your hands instead. Perhaps you have a fly swatter and are thinking of using that. Yea, sure go ahead, I'll wait. You have 3 more flies to catch after that one by the way.
Ok if you are still here, and not chasing the fly with a swatter, then you might have it what it takes to be a fly catching master! What you need to do is wait for the fly to land on a flat surface. Yea no duh. Ok here is where the magic happens. And no, you don't slam your hand against it. You are going to bruise your hand that way.
Shape your hand into a dome like formation to give the fly a little house. Make it gap tight so the fly can't escape. No watch which way the fly facing. Make sure you off-center it just slightly against where the fly is facing. And then swiftly, but gently, cover the fly. You off-center it because when flies start flying they start by going backwards first when they see the front of your hand.
Ok you may or may not have gotten the fly. You are not sure. Keep your hand there and wait several seconds. The fly will try to fly, and you will hear or feel it buzzing in its little house. Ok, wew. The hard part is over. Now make an ever so slight opening where the fly can barely squeeze through. It will try to go for it. When it does, gently close it but not all the way. Just enough to crush the fly a tiny bit. You should hear a slight crackle.
Hear that? That's the source of annoyance leaving the room. You can now lift the hand and watch the fly drop. If you see maggots you screwed up and the mess is your fault to clean up. If you did it correct it should still be alive but unable to fly. You can now grab it by the wings and give it a ye good ol' flush down the holy drain. Make sure to wash your hands after that one.
