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Susumu Hirasawa - Yume no Shima Shinen Kouen

posted
Total Posts
41
Real1
968 posts
Joined September 2008
Topic Starter
Real1
This beatmap was submitted using in-game submission on den 6 september 2009 at 16:58:07

Artist: Susumu Hirasawa
Title: Yume no Shima Shinen Kouen
Source: Paranoia Agent
BPM: 120
Filesize: 5381kb
Play Time: 01:35
Difficulties Available:
  1. Easy (2,51 stars, 127 notes)
  2. Hard (4,81 stars, 529 notes)
  3. KIRBY Mix (5 stars, 547 notes)
  4. Normal+ (4,51 stars, 348 notes)
Download: Susumu Hirasawa - Yume no Shima Shinen Kouen
Information: Scores/Beatmap Listing
---------------
My 9th Beatmap is here. It is the intro theme from the anime "Paranoia Agent".

This map took a long time to make for some reason. I'm very satisfied with the results and I hope you will be too!

Enjoy!~

Edit #1: strager and starrod's dual modding resulted in fixes for starrods notes and decreased overall diff in Easy. Hard is not boring, and Normal is fun. So it stays.
Edit #2: Added KIRBY Mix difficulty by Starrodkirby86. It's amazing.
Edit #3: osuplayer111's suggestions. Combos are fixed now.
Edit #4: Most of fufe's suggestions added
Edit #5: Gens modding ftw.
Edit #6: Forgot to change preview point. Fixed.
Edit #7: tieff's changes
Edit #8: Minyeob's fixes.
Edit #9: Azure_kytes suggestions
Edit #10: Symbolic's changes. Instead of making Normal a bit easier, I chanegd its name to Normal+
Edit #11: Mystearica's spice!
Edit #12: xxheroxx slider fix. Bubble lost. Re-bubble, plox.
Last edited by Real1 , edited 12 times in total.
Otium_old
127 posts
Joined February 2009
Otium_old
This map has been deleted on the request of its creator. It is no longer available.
anonymous_old
0 posts
Here since the beginning
anonymous_old
Easy
Decrease Overall Difficulty and increase the Circle Size, please.
Looks good other than that.

Normal
Decrease Overall Difficulty. I didn't pay attention to my HP but HP Drain Rate may need to be reduced to. Keep Normalthree or three and a half stars.
Looks good. Slider use makes this more interesting than Hard. More jumps could be added but it's fine now.

Hard
This map is pretty boring. I think having jumps would really help. Maybe short repeating sliders if that's your style.
Combos are a bit long IMO. Most can be cut in half.
Nice hit sound usage, but it needs more Finish.
Decrease stack leniency.
Otherwise, pretty good.
Starrodkirby86
osu! Alumni
3,739 posts
Here since the beginning
Starrodkirby86
You always make quirky songs that really strike me in a good way.

[Easy]:
00:15:50 (1) - This is one long repeat.

[Normal]:
03:31:50 (1) - Shorten spinner by 1/1?

[Hard]:
00:50:75 (x) - Add beat here?

Consider lowering volume of hitsounds by one tick? D:

Also, maybe you add Kiai at the end? It's up to you.

I felt that a lot of the combos in [Hard] were sort of random. Their placement is fine, but you're very inconsistent. There can be parts going to (21) while you have very short combos of (2) or so.

Regardless, I'm starring this.~

p.s. Can I make a difficulty?
Starrodkirby86
osu! Alumni
3,739 posts
Here since the beginning
Starrodkirby86
I think this is a bit overmapped...

Download: Susumu Hirasawa - Yume no Shima Shinen Kouen (Real1) [KIRBY Mix].osu

I had fun making it so I got carried away. :cry:

EDIT: 15mil when played all 300 on Auto. It's hard to FC, let alone pass it.
Real1
968 posts
Joined September 2008
Topic Starter
Real1
It's amazing! :D
Hope it's rankable even with those 5 extra mil.
It's so hard to FC it, so I hope/think it's rankable.
Andrea
Beatmap Nominator
16,650 posts
Joined August 2008
Andrea
[Easy]

00:09:00 (4,5,1) - Maybe this is a bit confusing for new players.

No pause for an easy map, bad T_T

[Normal]

00:07:50 (8) - New combo.
00:15:75 (7) - ^
00:55:50 (7) - ^
01:03:50 (7) - ^
02:31:50 (13) - From here lower the volume? :D Better.
03:01:50 (7) - New combo.

[Hard]

00:09:50 (8) - Too close from (7).
02:31:50 (13) - From here lower the volume? :D Better.

[KIRBY mix]

Don't find nothing wrong.

[Overall + Timing]

Timing is fine.
Anyway you can try to fix much combo's... I see 17-20 combo... and imo are too much big.
fufe
284 posts
Joined September 2008
fufe
Looks fine =3
Suggestions, pretty trivial, dont have to change any of these really.
Hard-
00:06:00 (6,7,8) - try moving the triple hit over a beat. [delete 7] and put it on 00:06:375] I think this sounds better. see what you think.
I also think there is room for more of these throughout the beatmap. It doesnt seem to happen at all later on. -after lookingat normal i think it might be a good idea to add more of em =x watch the max score tho.
00:50:50 (7,8,9) - id like to see this all stacked or all spread.
00:39:50 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9) - set off my nazi alignment sense also. maybe move 789 down and right a little to break the aligment so you dont have to move 123?

skimmed- normal looks fine too

ill note that it does look kinda long for how repetitive the song is. just an observation i guess

kirbymix hurt my balls ; ;
<3
The_Priest_In_Yellow
319 posts
Joined September 2008
The_Priest_In_Yellow
This map has been deleted on the request of its creator. It is no longer available.
Gens
osu! Alumni
3,485 posts
Joined August 2008
Gens
[Overall]
- I think you could place a better preview point. ;o

[Timing]
I hear timing to be a little off but it seems I can't suggest a better offset, so I'll just leave it like that~

[Easy]
00:15:50 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7) - About this... How about deleting some beats? The stack is big, so it's kinda messed up while playing, and yeah, you know the thing about the first slider, right? It's almost impossible to know how many repeats are. ):

Everything else is fine, though I'd like to bring to your attention this: 00:08:50 (3,1) - Spacing.
I dunno, I felt I needed to report it anyway D:

[Normal]
Yes, everything is fine... Except for the stack thing. I think you are capable to point them out by yourself~ (Yes, I'm too lazy)

[Hard]
00:59:50 (1) - End 1/2 beat earlier? Sounds baaad.

[KIRBY Mix]
I think it's fine, except 2 things:

1. Max score may be too hiiiigh!
2. I think that in the last part you tripped serious balls. :P

~ ~ ~

Your maps keep getting better and better~
EDIT: Whoops didn't starred.
Real1
968 posts
Joined September 2008
Topic Starter
Real1
Oh, Gens, why are you so awesome?
tieff
Featured Artist
2,254 posts
Joined March 2009
tieff
This map has been deleted on the request of its creator. It is no longer available.
Real1
968 posts
Joined September 2008
Topic Starter
Real1

tieff wrote:

[Easy]
00:08:50 (3,1) - Spacing. Fixed
00:14:00 (3,4,5) - Replace with slider? Kinda like the way it is right now
00:24:00 (5) - New combo? Fixed

[Normal]
Decrease overall diff? Decreased with 1 point
00:22:00 (5) - Clap on return. Added
00:22:75 (6) - Clap on start.Added
00:48:50 (4,5,6) - Really sorry for nazi, but... Up a bit. Nazi is OK with me. :)
03:11:50 (1) - Finish on start. Hai

[Hard]
00:06:37 (8,9) - Jump or..? Mistake ;_;. Fixed
01:14:37 (5) - Add note? Eh?
01:58:62 (4) - Add note with whistle. Eh?

[KIRBY MIX]
All cool. Just 1 thing.
02:02:25 (1,1,2,3,1) - Reallly hard too read. But it insane diff, so all ok.

Star'd. Great work. Thank you very much!
Thank you so much for modding! It's really appreciated! :D
Beuchi
osu! Alumni
2,288 posts
Joined February 2009
Beuchi
OMG! I looooove this song *o*

Sooo good map Real1, and Kirby's diff it's... so hard and addictive!! <w<

STAR!! X3
Matma Rex
586 posts
Joined March 2009
Matma Rex
Great song. But try to place beats in a bit more variable way, all 3 levels seem a bit dull for me.

Kirby's level is just too hard for me.


Starred.
Real1
968 posts
Joined September 2008
Topic Starter
Real1
Thanks, but I disagree with your suggestion. You're the first to say it... so...
Real1
968 posts
Joined September 2008
Topic Starter
Real1
This map has been deleted on the request of its creator. It is no longer available.
minyeob
osu! Alumni
2,540 posts
Joined May 2008
minyeob
lol
Real map is getting old again!

[Normal]
33:50(1)-> What's this? Shape is pretty nice and also it is hiding 35:25(1,2).
49:50(7,8,9)-> These circle reminds minyeob speical nazi. Align with (4,5,6).

[KIRBY]
Max score is almost unrankable. Reduce the HP drain rate.

That's it!
2 months=Kudo Star.
Real1
968 posts
Joined September 2008
Topic Starter
Real1
This map has been deleted on the request of its creator. It is no longer available.
Azure_Kite
osu! Alumni
3,217 posts
Joined February 2009
Azure_Kite
Here's my post as a wannabe mtmcling:

Green = Suggestion Red = Check this

[easy]
No problems found XD

[normal]
No problems found XD

[hard]
00:04:75 (5) - I think it would sound better if you put a beat at 00:04:75, then make the slider start at 00:05:00
02:17:12 (3,4) - Move a quarter beat forward.

[KIRBY Mix]
I can't find any problems, but that was partly because I was in awe of the beautiful slider/hit circle patterns. Great job!


S.T.A.R.R'D!
Gens
osu! Alumni
3,485 posts
Joined August 2008
Gens
This map has been deleted on the request of its creator. It is no longer available.
Starrodkirby86
osu! Alumni
3,739 posts
Here since the beginning
Starrodkirby86

minyeob wrote:

[KIRBY]
Max score is almost unrankable. Reduce the HP drain rate.
Didn't notice this. xD

The max score is lower than some bigger (and possibly easier) songs, such as Power of Dream and Reach for the Moon. I'll keep it as is. <3
Real1
968 posts
Joined September 2008
Topic Starter
Real1

Gens wrote:

Why is this not ranked yet? :<
I don't know. :cry: If you don't count Starrod who posted here before he became a BAT... No BAT has been here yet. They'll come around though. Patience is a virtue. :cry:
Symbolic
519 posts
Joined June 2008
Symbolic
[Easy]

00:07:00 (4) - New combo.
00:07:50 (1) - Remove new combo.
00:09:00 (1) - ^
00:15:00 (6) - New combo.
00:15:50 (1) - Remove new combo.
00:55:00 (4) - New combo.
00:55:50 (1) - Remove new combo.
01:03:00 (4) - New combo.
01:03:50 (1) - Remove new combo.


[Normal]

00:15:00 (6) - New combo here.
00:15:75 (1) - Remove new combo.
01:04:00 (2,3,4,5,6,7,8) - Too hard pattern for normal, don't let the start- and endpoints overlap too often, especially (2,3,4,5) is too hard for normal.
02:19:00 (7) - New combo.
02:19:50 (1) - Remove new combo.
03:09:50 (1) - ^


[Hard]

00:06:75 (11) - Respace this.
00:15:00 (10) - New combo.
00:15:50 (1) - Remove new combo.
00:25:25 (1) - ^
00:41:50 (7,8,9,10) - Put these 1 level 3 grid down.
00:51:50 (1) - This jump is unintuitive, remove it.
01:13:50 (1) - Remove new combo.
02:19:50 (1) - ^
02:27:50 (1) - ^
03:07:50 (1) - ^
03:09:50 (1) - ^


[KIRBY Mix]

03:24:50 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7) - This part is unintuitive, respace it without jumps and more readable.
03:27:50 (1) - This spinner is too long, 6 seconds is maximum, which is very long already. This is 8 seconds, remove it or think of something else.


Fun map, I really like [KIRBY Mix]
Starred *
Real1
968 posts
Joined September 2008
Topic Starter
Real1
This map has been deleted on the request of its creator. It is no longer available.
Starrodkirby86
osu! Alumni
3,739 posts
Here since the beginning
Starrodkirby86

Symbolic wrote:

[KIRBY Mix]

03:24:50 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7) - This part is unintuitive, respace it without jumps and more readable.
Ahahaha, I knew that would be commented on. I don't know whether I should keep that V or not. That V is one of the meanest obstacles in the song. I'll have to keep thinking about it though.
Mystearica
Mystearica
Overall: You have close to zero volume control on your map. You could definitively add a small bit to make your map more fun. The quieter sections could use a reduction in volume, and the normal sections can be kept as is, you get the idea.

[Easy]

Fine.

[Normal+]

lol I didn't SS Easy first try but I SS'd this first try...Orz.

Anyway this difficulty is fine, no problems. But from an artistic point of view comment:

Most of the time your patterns are going in rectangles and straight lines, this makes a long song like this rather plain.
If you really want to make your map more fun, please consider using more patterns. For example, curved lines, stars, crosses, you know.

[Hard]

In my opinion this difficulty suffered the same design problem as Normal+, though it plays fine as well.

01:59:25 - Starting from here I wasn't a fan of the stream of whistles but if you don't want to change it's up to you.

[Kirby Mix]

Nicely designed, but I would again recommend adding more volume control as there are parts with many whistles and claps that are rather piercing.

Max score of 14,973,290 is high but looking at Auto being busy on this difficulty I don't think that'd be a problem myself :P

Also looking at the post above, I love that V shaped jump myself lol, but yes I suppose it does jump out a bit and can get almost certainly break people on their first play. Up to kirby yourself what you want to do about this of course.

Have a star~
Real1
968 posts
Joined September 2008
Topic Starter
Real1
Thank you very much! ;) Spiced it up a bit. (Twisting some sliders, adding more SE and volume and even a short Kiai time for Normal and Hard and changing a few patterns.) My whistles stays! :D

Also, a confession. After making this map, I noticed the problems about the little too many, too straight patterns. But in some way I liked it anyways so I decided to leave it there to see what people think. But in maps after this I try to spice the patterns up much more, as you can see in later maps, such as Kingdom of Ixataka and Parade.


Thanks again for the fast response! ;)
Real1
968 posts
Joined September 2008
Topic Starter
Real1
Oh, come on now. Way more than 3 months and still no BAT? What have I done wrong?

Edit: Ohhh, nice 500th post. :|
mtmcl
mtmcl
Bubble.
Real1
968 posts
Joined September 2008
Topic Starter
Real1

mtmcl wrote:

Bubble.
I... I love thank you from the bottom of my osu!-heart! What a pleasant surprise! :D :)
Diasios
3,966 posts
Joined August 2008
Diasios
This map has been deleted on the request of its creator. It is no longer available.
Real1
968 posts
Joined September 2008
Topic Starter
Real1
Fixed the hidden slider in Normal+. The other sliders stays. Thanks for your input. <3

Bubble lost, please re-bubble!
vytalibus
osu! Alumni
870 posts
Joined May 2008
vytalibus
The bubble is put.
mtmcl
mtmcl
RANKEDED
v2b
504 posts
Joined October 2008
v2b
one of my favourite animes
and the map is really awesome
good job :D
Lesjuh
Elite Mapper
2,442 posts
Joined October 2008
Lesjuh
KIRBY Mix is friggin' epic <3
Real1
968 posts
Joined September 2008
Topic Starter
Real1
<333
Keep the praise coming.
I guess KIRBY Mix kicked the ass of my difficulties. xD

Oh, and, please check out my other Susumu Hirasawa map... There is another sweet KIRBY Mix in there <3 (and also my sexy diffs)
Gens
osu! Alumni
3,485 posts
Joined August 2008
Gens
The song is damn catchy... Glad you finally got this ranked. <3
/late

Also

lesjuh wrote:

KIRBY Mix is friggin' epic <3
Real1
968 posts
Joined September 2008
Topic Starter
Real1
Thank you very much Gens! <33

More Susumu Hirasawa songs coming. For now it's only this and Parade uploaded but I have two more Hirasawa maps WIP. Dunno when I can find time for them though as I have a billion other WIP's too. xD
Starrodkirby86
osu! Alumni
3,739 posts
Here since the beginning
Starrodkirby86
Shameless advertising. <333
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