My mapping story
I always admired ranked maps and seeing them being put in spotlight (played) by top players somehow makes me felt quite jealous. For that, I started mapping ridiculously hard mapset as my first work (Kami no Kotoba 1.5x), hoping for top players like Cookie or Vaxei to play when it got ranked. I spent about 40 hours to map 5 difficulties alone. Yet no one noticed my map (it sucks anyway, lol).
Due to my first attempt being a failure, I abandoned the first mapset and mapped the second map, ONIGIRI FREEWAY. However, this time it wasn't purely for difficulty. I saw Cookie's video of SS-ing Hazu-'s ranked mapset of this song. I mapped the 2nd map mostly because I liked the song. Putting 5 difficulties. 3 were completed, that being left only MIXED and ONIGIRI TEMPTATION (the 2 hardest difficulties on my mapset) to map. But all of sudden I lost my motivation to continue the map. Also becoming more "appearance-looking mapper", I was pretty much dissatisfied with the lower difficulties, only COMPLEX (Insane) that I kept it unchanged and left the mapset behind.
This time, from another YouTube videos influence, I started my current project (UNION!!) at 1 February. Song was damn good for me to not map. By the time I finished the first difficulty (the old "Special") around 6.2*, I felt not enough. I took another 2 weeks to finish a 5.8* difficulty. My online kouhai (junior) gave me encouragement and messaged me whether I need help with searching for BNs after seeing my mapset done. She recommended me a BN for me to message as I asked her. I tried my luck. Messaged him. Showed him my old UNION!! mapset. Not after 2 minutes, he replied "not interested" (now I realised the mapset probably wasn't that good though). Being utterly irritated and traumatised (it was quite a trauma for me, no exaggeration), I left the mapset for a while and went to map Tool-Assisted Speedcore to practice my mapping skill. Managing to finish the 3.99* Hard+ difficulty, I started mapping the second difficulty of the mapset, Insane+, and re-continued the UNION!! mapset at the same time. I deleted the 5.8* difficulty in the UNION!! mapset and added Epilogue.
After finishing Epilogue, I grew an immerse liking towards the song. Starting then, I added Normal, Hard, Insane and Expert difficulties. I put at least 3 hours in a day for months during the pandemic for my UNION!!. After some time have passed, I felt like I have improved drastically if I say so. I added Million Power to give a shot at my mapping skill for middle 6*. Turned out it was well-made for me, I was satisfied at the same time feeling "lonely". I didn't want to stop mapping the song. But I decided to request a nomination in modding section to get this ranked. However, I didn't get accepted, not even from one. Feeling like the last time (quite deja'vu actually), I asked for mods from any possible queues, thinking there wouldn't be enough mods to improve the mapset. The mods keep flooding in my inbox. By the time the queue people have modded there were 400+ mods lol. Little did I realise I have asked too much. I took more time to solve the mods. It was tiring, honestly. But I appreciated their help.
The mods have been solved. I was really really eager to get my mapset ranked (hoping someone to gift me osu!supporter this time, lol), but the song struck into my head again. I decided to add another 3 lower difficulties to give more balanced spread to the mapset. But one day, a friend I met online (OnLoong) messaged me about my map was in YouTube. He included the link in his message. Of course, I was confused, since all of a sudden my inbox was over 50 notifications. I tapped on the link and saw Epilogue difficulty in TheRockzSG recent video. I was truly excited. I couldn't properly express my excitement in words, literally. Seeing the positive comments, further motivated me to map the mapset (I was easily influenced by positivity and negativity, after all). But then, there was a comment thread that said my mapset was a "dogshit". He commented that word. I was pissed off and started mapping a new hardest difficulty (Yukou! We are all MILLION!!). But aside of that one single toxic kid, I was pleased to hear from the players of my map in overall. This event gave me a huge jump to get the mapset ranked. Although no BN has noticed my map up until now, I will still keep going to overcome that trauma and get my mapset as my first ranked status after the long journey of 10 months. And here I am, stuck at the difficulty style ideas lol
*please don't cringe*