gonna sleep now,, will see you all tomorrow!! the ashwood-cornbluffs and the ambwell-bandellos say good night too! <3
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Thread Necromancy
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hi
i vaguely remember that i tended to fixate on "apathy" when i'd met you, you and some others-- i think i believed i really couldnt feel emotion with any meaningful depth, or something. which isn't true, but it does seem to be true that different senses were dulled, emotively and relationally and also physiologically
i wonder why my sense of smell sucks so bad. why i dont hold onto anything anymore. why there isn't much [determination] in this [soul] with which i could ever hope to [act]
im not quite sure how i have or haven't changed...
im not quite sure what i want to cherish and what i want to forget
in a sense, these memories are to be both cherished And forgotten
i want to disown them, or maybe just a part of me wants to... but the remainder holds on, adoring what it meant to others and what it mustve meant to me at the time... not that i can really speak for a past self i barely remember
i wonder why my sense of smell sucks so bad. why i dont hold onto anything anymore. why there isn't much [determination] in this [soul] with which i could ever hope to [act]
im not quite sure how i have or haven't changed...
im not quite sure what i want to cherish and what i want to forget
in a sense, these memories are to be both cherished And forgotten
i want to disown them, or maybe just a part of me wants to... but the remainder holds on, adoring what it meant to others and what it mustve meant to me at the time... not that i can really speak for a past self i barely remember
In a galaxy far far away...
hi3
good morning everyone!! the ashwood-cornbluffs and the ambwell-bandellos say hi too!!
gonna try to draw today, so hopefully i'll have something to share :>
gonna try to draw today, so hopefully i'll have something to share :>
lost
yo droid what are your thoughts on my 117pp padoru NF play lolOsudroid96 wrote:
lost
I'm gonna roast you lil duck XDJLuca913 891 wrote:
yo droid what are your thoughts on my 117pp padoru NF play lolOsudroid96 wrote:
lost
Just kidding, why did you use NF? I don't like low acc pp but I farmed padoru A LOT so I'm not complaining.
Keep on the grind my friend!
umOsudroid96 wrote:
I'm gonna roast you lil duck XDJLuca913 891 wrote:
yo droid what are your thoughts on my 117pp padoru NF play lolOsudroid96 wrote:
lost
Just kidding, why did you use NF? I don't like low acc pp but I farmed padoru A LOT so I'm not complaining.
Keep on the grind my friend!
uhh
how do I say this
I failed at some point in the map
and using NF is just funny icl LOL
I do remember this as well. I’m curious how the theme of apathy was brought up, whether it was primarily through me or you or maybe a combination of us both. Conversations are a two way street, a song and dance in a sense. So maybe it was built up naturally between us two conversing about our emotions at the time, each inspiring the other to think deeper about certain themes we would otherwise not inherently speak of.Achromalia wrote:
i vaguely remember that i tended to fixate on "apathy" when i'd met you, you and some others-- i think i believed i really couldnt feel emotion with any meaningful depth, or something. which isn't true, but it does seem to be true that different senses were dulled, emotively and relationally and also physiologically
i wonder why my sense of smell sucks so bad. why i dont hold onto anything anymore. why there isn't much [determination] in this [soul] with which i could ever hope to [act]
im not quite sure how i have or haven't changed...
im not quite sure what i want to cherish and what i want to forget
in a sense, these memories are to be both cherished And forgotten
i want to disown them, or maybe just a part of me wants to... but the remainder holds on, adoring what it meant to others and what it mustve meant to me at the time... not that i can really speak for a past self i barely remember
Typically, we as humans connect with others based on things that we are able to relate with each other on. We were probably going through similar mental journeys and naturally shared some of our common shared experiences together, which happened to be the broad theme of apathy and empathy.
Apathy, empathy and sympathy were all concepts that I was trying to “solve” / understand in my life at the time. I think it revolved around one of my biggest issues at the time, which I failed to comprehend often. Expressing myself and feeling understood, or in a lot of cases back then, MISunderstood.
My memory of my past self will never be fully intact, but I'm tempted to say that my apathetic mindset at the time was pretty directly related to my depression. The more depressed I got, the harder it was to relate, empathize, and connect with people. The more it made me tear away from my friends, family, and society. I was uncomfortable and scared of how I was feeling, so I started down the dangerous path of self-isolation and reclusiveness. At the time though, I didn’t understand how all of my emotions and all of my isolating behaviors affected each other.
It’s all fuel for the flame. A terrible, terrible cycle. Depression made me isolate. Isolation made me depressed. Being more depressed made me isolate even more. I didn’t have the awareness at the time to catch myself in the cycle and lift myself out of it.
I’m tempted to go back and reread our discussions we had about “apathy” all those years ago, and I probably will, but once I have the time and energy to do so. For now, I am too exhausted. Exhausted in a good way.
I hope you can potentially gain a better understanding of your own situation through reading and relating your experiences to my own. I think it’s very healthy to express, connect, and relate with others, so that you are given a sense of not feeling alone and not feeling isolated in your emotions. I don’t know exactly what you are going through, but hopefully my thoughts can inspires something.
Side tangent - I always had a similar issue with a poor sense of smell. After moving away from my home to an entirely new environment, I noticed a better sense of smell. I think my lack of smell stemmed from the fact that I was fairly sedentary with what I did and what I interacted with, so I just got used to the same things. The more you smell something, the less potent it smells. You get used to things.
Moving to Texas made my sense of smell better because I was experiencing brand new smells. Now, coming back to California after a few years, I feel like I can smell all these familiar smells again and stronger than ever because I have been away for so long. I took a tolerance break from everything.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that if you experience the same things over and over again, you gain a tolerance to said things. Also, I think depression is known to dull certain senses as well.
wow, lostie got a lot of points.
not enough time, not enough will
nhnhghfgdhfgh
nhnhghfgdhfgh
hhi
no time, no will
no way
no way
gonna sleep now,, will see you all tomorrow!! the ashwood-cornbluffs and the ambwell-bandellos say good night too! <3
hhi
good morning everyone! the ashwood-cornbluffs and the ambwell-bandellos say hi too <3
hopefully i can draw something today... but if not, that's okay :>
hopefully i can draw something today... but if not, that's okay :>
...memory loss...?
oo
hello there!lostsilver wrote:
good morning everyone! the ashwood-cornbluffs and the ambwell-bandellos say hi too <3
hopefully i can draw something today... but if not, that's okay :>
ravenous hunger
i miss tofu guy....
58 minute bump
deep sleep, fleeting dream
i met some really interesting knowledgeable people there that i seemed to be at least mostly normal with, i really wish living with myself was a little more like that
i think that dream drew from some made-up amalgamation of cultural knowledge to inform me of who people were. conversations felt real in a sense, if a bit messy and malformed by the sheer speed of narrative drift
if only...
i met some really interesting knowledgeable people there that i seemed to be at least mostly normal with, i really wish living with myself was a little more like that
i think that dream drew from some made-up amalgamation of cultural knowledge to inform me of who people were. conversations felt real in a sense, if a bit messy and malformed by the sheer speed of narrative drift
if only...
I was sitting on my leg without realizing it and when I stood up I almost fell because I couldn't feel my leg anymore.
hi
gonna sleep now,, will see you all tomorrow!! the ashwood-cornbluffs and the ambwell-bandellos say good night too <3
...
hiJLuca913 891 wrote:
hi
[ * you were used up. ] [ * you were used up. ] [ * you were used up. ] [ * you were used up. ]
sun
good morning everyone!! the ashwood-cornbluffs and the ambwell-bandellos say hi too!!
gonna try to draw today, so hopefully i'll have something to share :)
gonna try to draw today, so hopefully i'll have something to share :)
hiJLuca913 891 wrote:
hiJLuca913 891 wrote:
hi
What
fentanyl
come follow me into the Daaark, with your Heaaart as the Ark which shall Shine You the Wayyyyy... because i'm With You in the Daaark, with your Hеaaart as my Mark which shall Guide You The Wayyyyy (Through The Wavеsssss)...
gonna sleep now,, will see you all tomorrow!! the ashwood-cornbluffs and the ambwell-bandellos say good night too!! <3
［ 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔪𝔬𝔲𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔟𝔩𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱 𝔞𝔭𝔭𝔢𝔞𝔯𝔰. ］follow me
hiJLuca913 891 wrote:
hiJLuca913 891 wrote:
hiJLuca913 891 wrote:
hi
117pp while failing in the map? This CSR is nutsJLuca913 891 wrote:
umOsudroid96 wrote:
I'm gonna roast you lil duck XDJLuca913 891 wrote:
yo droid what are your thoughts on my 117pp padoru NF play lolOsudroid96 wrote:
lost
Just kidding, why did you use NF? I don't like low acc pp but I farmed padoru A LOT so I'm not complaining.
Keep on the grind my friend!
uhh
how do I say this
I failed at some point in the map
and using NF is just funny icl LOL
［ * now, what d'ya think? where do we go? no wrong answer... ］［ * "nowhere" ］Multichromalia
good morning everyone!! the ashwood-cornbluffs and the ambwell-bandellos say hi too!
hopefully i can draw today lol ;v;
hopefully i can draw today lol ;v;
foundsilver
I love PP rework <3Osudroid96 wrote:
117pp while failing in the map? This CSR is nutsJLuca913 891 wrote:
umOsudroid96 wrote:
I'm gonna roast you lil duck XDJLuca913 891 wrote:
yo droid what are your thoughts on my 117pp padoru NF play lolOsudroid96 wrote:
lost
Just kidding, why did you use NF? I don't like low acc pp but I farmed padoru A LOT so I'm not complaining.
Keep on the grind my friend!
uhh
how do I say this
I failed at some point in the map
and using NF is just funny icl LOL
god i want jalapeno-flavoured crisps so badly rn i can almost taste them
sounds bri'ishsynthwavesquid wrote:
god i want jalapeno-flavoured crisps so badly rn i can almost taste them
but they're tasty (ergo not british)Farfocele wrote:
sounds bri'ishsynthwavesquid wrote:
god i want jalapeno-flavoured crisps so badly rn i can almost taste them
HA HA HA ... THIS POWER IS FREEDOM. I WON'T HAVE TO BE JUST A PUPPET ANY MORE!!!! ... OR... so... I... thought. WHAT ARE THESE STRINGS!? WHY AM I NOT [BIG] ENOUGH!? It's still DARK... SO DARK!
hiJLuca913 891 wrote:
hiJLuca913 891 wrote:
hiJLuca913 891 wrote:
hiJLuca913 891 wrote:
hi
Day 9 has been a beautiful and culturally enriching day. I love life.
penguins love laughing in life
lets all love life
lets all love life
lets all love life
lets all love life
lets all love life
lets all love life
lets all love life
lets all love life
= dodge (1).
= taunt.
= dust: add a "dream" to your hand.
= taunt.
= dust: add a "dream" to your hand.
DeletedUser_32597938
i wish to observe people's experiences/pleasures/perspectives to a sickeningly voyeuristic extent, while not being a person myself
i see... in that case, i think i'll be interested in taking note of some iop readings during your exam. in the meanwhile, let's sit here for now while i prepare. let me know if there's anything i can do to help you feel comfortable or if you have any other concerns ^-^
hello i am your optometrist today :) so i hear youre having problems with eye pressure?IAMACROBA wrote:
i wish to be observed to an almost sickeningly voyeuristic extent
i see... in that case, i think i'll be interested in taking note of some iop readings during your exam. in the meanwhile, let's sit here for now while i prepare. let me know if there's anything i can do to help you feel comfortable or if you have any other concerns ^-^
gonna sleep now,, will see you all tomorrow!! the ashwood-cornbluffs and the ambwell-bandellos say good night too <3
hiJLuca913 891 wrote:
hiJLuca913 891 wrote:
hiJLuca913 891 wrote:
hiJLuca913 891 wrote:
hiJLuca913 891 wrote:
hi
LucaJ197 219
lake ;v;
ergh i just want a slice of life of those two happy...
ergh i just want a slice of life of those two happy...
Chromalia
hiJLuca913 891 wrote:
hiJLuca913 891 wrote:
hiJLuca913 891 wrote:
hiJLuca913 891 wrote:
hiJLuca913 891 wrote:
hiJLuca913 891 wrote:
hi
[mirror]198 319acuLJ ih[/mirror]
DeletedUser_32597938
[nervous and excited squawking]Achromalia wrote:
i wish to observe people's experiences/pleasures/perspectives to a sickeningly voyeuristic extent, while not being a person myselfhello i am your optometrist today :) so i hear youre having problems with eye pressure?IAMACROBA wrote:
i wish to be observed to an almost sickeningly voyeuristic extent
i see... in that case, i think i'll be interested in taking note of some iop readings during your exam. in the meanwhile, let's sit here for now while i prepare. let me know if there's anything i can do to help you feel comfortable or if you have any other concerns ^-^
CIOIFIWJRPPQPIKVNSNWVFOXBWIVC
I am a Cobra
did you leave the OT team lolOsudroid96 wrote:
I am a Cobra
Yes I did, Neko guy for now
meow
good morning everyone!! the ashwood-cornbluffs and the ambwell-bandellos say hi too <3
hopefully i can draw something today...
hopefully i can draw something today...
hiJLuca913 891 wrote:
hiJLuca913 891 wrote:
hiJLuca913 891 wrote:
hiJLuca913 891 wrote:
hiJLuca913 891 wrote:
hiJLuca913 891 wrote:
hiJLuca913 891 wrote:
hi
dithering...
DeletedUser_32597938
gonna sleep now,, will see you all tomorrow!! the ashwood-cornbluffs and the ambwell-bandellos say good night too! <3
ah
cynicism arrives again
i love the horror story that is humanity
cynicism arrives again
i love the horror story that is humanity