It's been 24 hours, and I already miss vaping clouds.

8 days

3 defective micro sd cards in span of two weeks, tf, oh well at least now i have more brands and store to blacklist.

Issues all around, stress is ever present, sleep is ever absent, life sometimes seems like hell, but it's fine. I got Skyrim running on my retarded laptop so it's all good. (Mouse is preferable to touchpad)

TeeArctic1 wrote:

Issues all around, stress is ever present, sleep is ever absent, life sometimes seems like hell, but it's fine. I got Skyrim running on my retarded laptop so it's all good. (Mouse is preferable to touchpad)

Ah, yikes.

It's good to see you back, though! It's been a good while.

a lot of new faces in this place

My teacher cancelled my first class of the day, but I'm already on the train and now I have nothing to for 6 hours!

...

I just though of going back to my house as I was typing that, actually. I'll do that.

I cried a river.

I think I'll have a nice sleep time, tonight.
I mean, I hope I do, now that salty tears (and nose water) went down my face.
It kind of felt refreshing doing it but still, man.

i bought a $1 toy gun and it's probably the best investment i've ever made

Roleplaying in Japanese as a requirement for a grade.
In the same class that the principal has to inspect for some forsaken reason.
On the same day.

Add-on for roleplaying:
Took me 5-6 months, but finally came to the realization that I never have good characters to roleplay with; mostly because I'm never that interactive with people to know how I'd act around anyone in any given situation, my life has been monotonous enough to the point that I don't know what's fun anymore, and I never think straight to give my characters an interesting edge to their personalities. Due to this, everything about every single character I make is, in turn, the same old bullshit, just with a different name and different face. With that, I'll probably try to go out more often, if not completely drop RP'ing due to not making notable characters that people can have fun interacting with.

I sort of feel lonely, last night's party went to hell, and I left early to console a friend and take care of people although I promised myself not to care for once and just have fun. Getting sick as well, I think so that'll be great...
Really, I just miss the old days where I had more time and everything was safer and easier, where I had a couple friends I trusted and knew had my back. Now it feels like I'm competing against everyone and I just keep on getting forgotten. Oh well, should sleep. Tomorrow's another day.

I've been trying to get a hold of myself.

I'm just... really damn confused.

And tired.

So fucking tired.

Why am I tired again?

Why am I always "tired"?

Why do I keep telling everyone that?

I'm just tired.

As always.

Nothing new.



...fucking hell, I'm not the worst of messes, but I'm still a mess right now.

When I'm actually working on my solo game project instead of wasting time, progress goes pretty smoothly. It's still pretty rough so far, but I've got the main mechanics and sprite animations completed and implemented for the most part. Was able to add in some 8-bit sound effects as well. At this point I'm going to need to touch up some things and I can finally work on the level design. I'm excited to see what I can do next.

Also I decided to finally get to watching Hunter x Hunter. You'd think that after finishing Naruto, Naruto: Shippuden, and getting to episode 700+ on One Piece you would feel like an anime with a mere 150 episodes is nothing. But really anything over 100 eps is still pretty intimidating for me. That's a shit ton of time and I'm typically pretty slow when it comes to watching/ finishing anime.

Just got off another good game of Zombies with my high school comrades trying to do the Easter Egg on Der Eisendrache. We got about halfway through, I think, until we died. Had a good time though.

That moment when I open Steam...

Only to close it ( . .)

shiny sword my diamond

Commute commute commute

15€ on new headphones for the PC.

Open VMWare:
> Removing "Ubuntu 13.10" from library
> Archiving "Ubuntu 13.10"
> Removing "Windows ME (2)" from library
> Archiving "Windows ME (2)"
> Deleting "Windows 1.0 PE"
Close VMWare




and...g'nite

Status: just got my first Physics test back. 76%. Ehh... I'll take a C. Hopefully I can keep it.

johnmedina999 wrote:

Status: just got my first Physics test back. 76%. Ehh... I'll take a C. Hopefully I can keep it.

How are ya holding up btw? You're taking Calc II and Physics right? How's that been goin?

OT: chillin before I start studying

Westonini wrote:

How are ya holding up btw? You're taking Calc II and Physics right? How's that been goin?

It's not too bad. Calculus isn't a problem for me, it's Physics. I haven't taken it before. It's really interesting to see how our physical world can be expressed by mathematics and a few simple equations, but it's remembering knowing when and how to use those equations that gets me. Taking both classes together isn't that bad, I'm just not good at one of them. I guess I gotta study more.

I wrote a wallmod. A really long one. Haven't written one in a long time. I feel bad, actually.

i feel good about myself for the first time in a really long time. what do i do with this power?

try to make it last.

OT: Feelin' confident about that Calc exam. Been mostly getting B's so hopefully this'll B another one.

My Calc II Midterm



Holy shit I've never gotten an A in any of my Calc exams before. And a 100.5/100 no less. I'm so happy.

just got my first salary on the new job

Westonini wrote:

My Calc II Midterm



Holy shit I've never gotten an A in any of my Calc exams before. And a 100.5/100 no less. I'm so happy.

Nice job, dude!

Problems resurfacing.

My aunt insists that I do shit regardless of practicality. and essentially put up a passive threat of kicking me out because I haven't complied.

Normally these things include certain actions of mine that I suppose she deems to be... well, i dunno what she thinks, I just know she apparently doesn't like it, enough to be a reason to throw me out.

For example, not cutting my nails frequently, not going outside my room often and doing things outside, and not cutting my hair short. These are among the trivial complaints.

But there are a few that hold a bit of water in some sort of aspect, even if I find it pretty trivial as well. Complaints like those would be something like how I eat inside my room all the time, and how I don't shower every single day, or how I don't clean my room often enough.

I make a lot of shitty mistakes and I can't seem to stop that shit. For example, I keep falling asleep with the lights on.

These little things seem to have bothered her enough, and I'm genuinely conflicted right now.

The majority of these don't seem to be a problem to me. Complying with some of these may not even be very practical, really. I tend to multitask and eat while I watch videos or make music, which so far, has saved a lot of time as I'm a slow eater anyways. I tend to do everything in my room, and rarely need to do anything outside as it wouldn't really serve an important purpose of mine. I most likely won't be as productive if I'm unable to use a laptop or anything. I can now state that's true since I had done fuck-all while the laptop had been ruined. Pretty much everything I do involves the internet and I've had no problem with that.

I suppose this is more along the lines of a request for advice, or just asking for your thoughts on this. I'm not really sure what to do here as I don't see my compliance would be practical for anything I do.

The only reason to comply is to avoid being kicked out, even though I hardly even interact with my aunt enough to be a nuisance.

Or is that what bothers her?

If so, why doesn't she come in and say hi or something? Maybe ask what I'm doing or show some interest in what I'm working on if she's adamant on interaction?

Aside from that, I guess I'm the problem.

...

I don't know how the hell I'm going to do anything like that.

This is why I don't like being around people.

My mere existence is somehow a burden to others closest to me.

Achromalia wrote:

Problems resurfacing.

My aunt insists that I do shit regardless of practicality. and essentially put up a passive threat of kicking me out because I haven't complied.

Normally these things include certain actions of mine that I suppose she deems to be... well, i dunno what she thinks, I just know she apparently doesn't like it, enough to be a reason to throw me out.

For example, not cutting my nails frequently, not going outside my room often and doing things outside, and not cutting my hair short. These are among the trivial complaints.

But there are a few that hold a bit of water in some sort of aspect, even if I find it pretty trivial as well. Complaints like those would be something like how I eat inside my room all the time, and how I don't shower every single day, or how I don't clean my room often enough.

I make a lot of shitty mistakes and I can't seem to stop that shit. For example, I keep falling asleep with the lights on.

These little things seem to have bothered her enough, and I'm genuinely conflicted right now.

The majority of these don't seem to be a problem to me. Complying with some of these may not even be very practical, really. I tend to multitask and eat while I watch videos or make music, which so far, has saved a lot of time as I'm a slow eater anyways. I tend to do everything in my room, and rarely need to do anything outside as it wouldn't really serve an important purpose of mine. I most likely won't be as productive if I'm unable to use a laptop or anything. I can now state that's true since I had done fuck-all while the laptop had been ruined. Pretty much everything I do involves the internet and I've had no problem with that.

I suppose this is more along the lines of a request for advice, or just asking for your thoughts on this. I'm not really sure what to do here as I don't see my compliance would be practical for anything I do.

The only reason to comply is to avoid being kicked out, even though I hardly even interact with my aunt enough to be a nuisance.

Or is that what bothers her?

If so, why doesn't she come in and say hi or something? Maybe ask what I'm doing or show some interest in what I'm working on if she's adamant on interaction?

Aside from that, I guess I'm the problem.

...

I don't know how the hell I'm going to do anything like that.

This is why I don't like being around people.

My mere existence is somehow a burden to others closest to me.

I doubt your aunt actually wanted to kick you out. She's just worried about you.
From what you said, it seems to me that you don't really have a healthy lifestyle.

You say that your aunt wants you to do things even though they're not "practical". TBH, I have to agree with your aunt with most of them.
I think those task aren't impractical at all, they're quite essential.

Like cutting your nails, keeping your nails short both makes it cleaner and look less disgusting. (It's fine having long nails but should only to an extent)

Shower regularly, I don't think you have to shower everyday but do shower like once every other day. Personal hygiene is important.
Lack of shower can lead to odor and in the long run, diseases.

About cutting your hair, I don't really agree on this since it's personal preference. My dad used to constantly nag me about my hair too.
Just make sure you wash and comb your hair often.

Going outside often isn't a bad idea either. Lacks of vitamin D can cause depression. You should go out for a walk once in a while.
Maybe go to the park to read a book for a change.
Or bring your laptop outside and make music there.

I also agree that you should not eat inside your room all the time. A family meal should be enjoyed with other family members.
My mum used to tell me the same thing and I thought she was a nuisance, but trust me, she's right.
Just sit down in the dinning room and eat with your family once in a while. Not every single time but do spend time with them.

You should treasure your family. Anyone can approve of what you do if it doesn't involve them, but not many people can be worried about you.

I'm sure your aunt doesn't really want to kick you out. My mum and dad used to tell me they'd kick me out too, but in actuality, they're just worried about you.

Tad Fibonacci wrote:

I doubt your aunt actually wanted to kick you out. She's just worried about you.
From what you said, it seems to me that you don't really have a healthy lifestyle.

You say that your aunt wants you to do things even though they're not "practical". TBH, I have to agree with your aunt with most of them.
I think those task aren't impractical at all, they're quite essential.

Like cutting your nails, keeping your nails short both makes it cleaner and look less disgusting. (It's fine having long nails but should only to an extent)

Shower regularly, I don't think you have to shower everyday but do shower like once every other day. Personal hygiene is important.
Lack of shower can lead to odor and in the long run, diseases.

About cutting your hair, I don't really agree on this since it's personal preference. My dad used to constantly nag me about my hair too.
Just make sure you wash and comb your hair often.

Going outside often isn't a bad idea either. Lacks of vitamin D can cause depression. You should go out for a walk once in a while.
Maybe go to the park to read a book for a change.
Or bring your laptop outside and make music there.

I also agree that you should not eat inside your room all the time. A family meal should be enjoyed with other family members.
My mum used to tell me the same thing and I thought she was a nuisance, but trust me, she's right.
Just sit down in the dinning room and eat with your family once in a while. Not every single time but do spend time with them.

You should treasure your family. Anyone can approve of what you do if it doesn't involve them, but not many people can be worried about you.

I'm sure your aunt doesn't really want to kick you out. My mum and dad used to tell me they'd kick me out too, but in actuality, they're just worried about you.

I suppose we have different definitions, standards, or ideas of practicality.

I fail to see long nails as disgusting as long as they're relatively clean, of which mine are. Long nails become impractical once they obstruct your ability to manually do things in any sort of way. If they extend about a good centimeter away from the nail-bed, then this will likely occur and unless you like it for more cosmetic purposes, I would recommend cutting those nails. Though, in my case, my nails are at a pretty comfortable length, even though they are longer than what's deemed normal. In comparison, my fingernails are about 0.5 centimeters long. Personally, short nails are REALLY uncomfortable. I get hangnails often with short nails as well, so that wouldn't be very practical.

Hygiene's fairly important, yeah. I typically shower every other day if I can, but sometimes have two or even three days in between. I don't see it as much of an issue, though.

The length of my hair isn't too bad and is at a pretty comfortable length. About 8 cm in length in most places.

Going outside isn't something I'm comfortable with, and don't exactly have a need to do. My time's been better spent inside. Depression has been less prevalent the past several months as well, but I go outside just about as often as before. I don't really have an inclination to read anything at the local library and going outside just to be outside isn't really practical as once again, I could be a bit more productive than that over here.

I don't understand the necessity in a family meal. I eat for the sake of eating. A family meal is difficult to organize and adjust for everyone's appetite, as I eat at different times in the day as needed. I eat in small amounts and eat slowly. Family meals, of which I've occasionally had, aren't enjoyable. There's nothing to say, and nothing to really do. Considering that'd take about 20 minutes of the day away on average (though that of course depends on the meal as well), I could spend that time quite a bit better. Awkward silence isn't very fun.

I'm not sure if I'm too great at "treasuring family", though, and there, is where you've got a fair point. I'm a fairly apathetic person, honestly. I just don't have anything to really say to them. I can't come up with anything. Most conversations will be trivial unless it's something serious, important, or at least interesting to some extent.

Pretty much a rant here, but I don't know what to do.

I'm sitting here in my room, getting work done, when I decide to take a look at my grades on my school progress report, grade... Thing. I notice my grades aren't doing very well, especially in Chemistry, despite my efforts in trying to get shit done. Albeit, some background here, we did have a 2-week long break, the first initial week being unintentional as there was a snow storm, making the road conditions unfit for driving and thus disabling any transportation to school, due to safety reasons. The second week was a planned President's Day break, where the whole week was taken off of school. I don't think much of the occurrence, two weeks of relaxing inside, waiting for the snow to subside while I drank a cup of hot chocolate.

Then the two weeks pass, and my school life gets back into swinging. Boy, did I miss everything subject-wise in my Chemistry class.

First off, there was apparently a "Heat & Calorimetry" test that I had to take. Didn't think much of it either, however I didn't remember anything from prior to the two week break. Nothing to worry about, just pass the test, right?

Wrong. From what I'm looking at here, I absolutely tanked and took an L, getting a 6/50 on the test itself.

Now confused as to why and how I let myself get a 12% on a test a week after, I realize that I never took into consideration the type of teacher I had for my Chemistry class. It was a new teacher, replacing the prior Biology & Chemistry teacher from last year, whose class I had the privilege of taking. It was fun, nobody really broke out of line when she was in the classroom, and she let everyone have enough time to take notes, even going back to the last slide of the PowerPoint to let them finish taking their notes.

This year, though, is completely different. The new teacher, names being unmentioned for privacy reasons, doesn't leave enough time for people to take notes. She practically expects you to remember every bit of information, from the moment you see the slide. Nobody asks to go back, because they don't want to disrupt her flow of teaching, but, no offence if she finds this forum post, which'll be rare, her style is absolute crap. Students, as far as I know (from my class), don't have enough time to contemplate how the damned concept even works, and worse off, she doesn't give them a chance to ask questions about the material. I know she's only trying to teach, but at least give kids the chance to think about what you're teaching. Any good teacher I've had has given kids the opportunity to ask questions about the materials they're supposed to be teaching. We don't just sit in a room and process information like computers, we process them like human beings. We have questions about these types of things, and teachers are supposed to be answering any questions students have to broaden their understandings on the subject. But nope, the new Chemistry teacher doesn't ask if students have questions. She just gives you something, like a complex concept, and expects you to swallow it whole. Then, a week later, she contradicts her teachings and goes to dimensional conversion, which is literally, so far, just multiplying bullsh*t with fancy terms. She doesn't try to teach students the easy stuff, leading into the hard sh*t. No, she'd rather have some random and stupidly easy lesson planned after at least a month of hard work, and essentially vice versa. It's stupid to the point where I can't even remember taking notes about calorimetry and whatnot.

Whatever, just a rant about how dumb I feel my Chemistry teacher's methods of teaching are. As for status updates, I'm just doing homework, since I've been focusing on studying for that test without remembering anything about taking notes. Move on with your days, as proceeded. I might just be a lazy fucklet who doesn't take notes, who knows?

I feel tired, prolly effects from that yellow fever vaccine

Was forced to make a group later with all the remaining groupless people since I don't talk to anyone. From what I've seen so far they all seem really quiet and awkward. God dammit. I hope we do alright.

Westonini wrote:

Was forced to make a group later with all the remaining groupless people since I don't talk to anyone. From what I've seen so far they all seem really quiet and awkward. God dammit. I hope we do alright.

I wish teachers would stop doing that. I'd rather work on my own in a group project. Most of the time, I'm the person that does everything anyways.

Found out that talking to girls is hard for me.

Then again, talking about anything common is pretty hard, given I don't do anything in common with other people.

I tried making and implementing some pixel art since it can look decent without me needing to be all that great at art/drawing. I'm pretty satisfied with how its come out so far. More so than I thought I'd be. It's at least better than the gray cubes that it used to be. I've finished up with most of the art so I should be able to finally start working on the tutorial level and the following levels soon.

Edit: I just realized that after looking at the image that there are actually some crate props missing. Gotta fix that real quick.

I find myself in the opposite situation for whatever reason.

I find it strangely easier to talk to girls than guys.

I'm just not a fan of a lot of the guys in my school. A fair amount of them are dicks.

As a result. I've had like 9 or 10 female friends-of-varying-degrees as opposed to the 3 or 4 guys i know and enjoy being around.

Maybe there's some other reason, but yeah. I've wound up meeting a lot of girls, some are still mere acquaintances, others as friendly people, and some pretty cool friends, not to mention a pretty good friend from my old fucked-up middle school. I think about it and find it strange. Maybe it's how I act like a complete doofus or some shit. I can change my personality to fit that in an instant for whatever reason, from the aloof apathetic kid that draws and stuff, to the weird local skeleton who screeches and is overall insane.

Achromalia wrote:

I'm just not a fan of a lot of the guys in my school. A fair amount of them are dicks.

As a result. I've had like 9 or 10 female friends-of-varying-degrees as opposed to the 3 or 4 guys i know and enjoy being around.
Maybe it's how I act like a complete doofus or some shit.

I mean, they each got one stuck down there...
...
Alright, sorry for the bad joke.

To me, they're being "dicks" because of the differences indeed.
They can't find a reason to get along with your, "aloof" stance, and thus won't even try to approach you, or rather, they may try to directly annoy (if not, "bully") you instead.
So be it.
It's just me, but I wouldn't take time to find a reason and try another approach.
(That's my traumatised, around 15-year-old, self talking.)

[More to come after a bit of thinking about how it was in my case, which is during/after some activity outside.]