So, the past 3 years have followed a certain.. pattern.

I will play for countless hours a day like everyone without gaining a single fc or PP. I understand I spend a lot of time on NF maps, however I always had a group of maps I became close to fcing on a sight read but have failed to FC on retrys ever since. I am also aware that NF is a good way to push yourself (within reason) to increase your skill level.. or so I thought.

So then. For some UNKOWN reason one day everything seems to click. I go insane and will go from rank 10k to as far as rank 7.9k or so (I've done this more then once at this point.. 3 times) in one sitting. Then, low and behold the next day im back to my usual self fcing nothing and praising god I managed to at least get some PP and FCs the day before, knowing full well I could wait 1 or two years for this to happen again.

Today I fc'd about 15 maps. 8 of which I've tried and failed to for over 2 years. I believe one has around 300 plays. I sat until my hand began to cramp, nerves began to sting, fingers throb. Knowing full well that if I get my ass out of that chair at any point, that is it for this 'Burst of PP' if you will.

So. This is my experience, its a mixture of frustration, disbelief, and depression for 364 days of the year and 1 day of elation.
How do you all compare?

Is it worthit? :thinking:

I feel in same way sometimes sightreading. Like all my maps are almost made in 2 days sightreading. I jump from 70k to 30k in 2 days.
I think this god modes come just after tryharding for a day or 2, if you really are motivated that day. That days you feel everything clear and you can do like your topranks at first try one after another.
I'm trying to forcé it since, to improve my acc and reading, and I'm not stopping improve. Starting to get 97% at AR10 OD10 maps where i consistenly was getting 89% sightreading, now all those 89% acc maps od10 became 95%.
It's all about tryharding and motivation?

For me, those days where everything "clicks" are so few and far in between it gets kinda depressing. Days where it does are great, but I kinda have reverse click days? I'm missing jumps I never miss, I'm combo breaking on parts I've never broke on, and the like. I just wish I knew what makes things click for me.

Perhaps the trigger could be a day with extra sleep, maybe extra caffeine, or plain just being in a good mood. Progressing quick just doesn't happen to me though

I think its something to do with the lighting in my house. The changes throughout the day can really effect how easy it is to play high AR. Sometimes you hit that sweetspot where everything is a lot more readable.

I was talking about god modes more than "clicks".
I think i only did 1 click long time ago. And 2 half clicks. Not so long time ago. All my other progress was a consistenly slow one, and learn new things. But nothing suddent.
My 1° click was when i start to be able to pass 4*-5* maps.
I had days where i more or less i was able to clear 1 map or 2 around that diff. I had already a lot of play time. (around 20k playcount)
The day i SS a 3° map after 200+ retries during the year. https://osu.ppy.sh/b/312375 just after that SS i got to a map what i wasn't close to pass, 4'5* rock high bpm map. I play it like it was nothing and almost FC it. Something like 800/900 combo.
Since that day i'm able to play from 4'5* to 5'3*.
My 1° half click was with mods. I was unable to get 93%+ on 3* DT maps. Or pass any 4*+ map with HR. Even trying it over and over.
I improved my performance at 5* maps and 7* maps, and suddently i sightread 4* maps DT 99% like it was easier than nomod. I was thinking, ummm, maybe it's just i'm playing new maps easier for me than those 3* maps where i was getting around 89-93% acc? So i tested at a map where i had 92%, and 6 misses, even trying it a lot and knowing the map. https://osu.ppy.sh/web/osu-getreplay.ph ... 305188&m=0
I actually did click there and understand how to play DT and why was unable before, even trying it for months.

My last half click was when i started to FC 4* maps with HR and getting my first sightreading 200pp+ on that moment i see exactly what i had to do if i wanted to climb ranks, and how approach it.

But even knowing how to improve from now on, i actually don't want at all. Don't know exactly why. I know what i have to play, and on what i have to focus to start climbing like an animal.
But i pref keep playing 6-7*+ Low ar stuff and easy ar 7 3* maps. Even knowing if i tryhard i would be able to approach them easier.

I don't know if it's the fear of start stop enjoying the game, and reducing the amounth of effort i have to put right now to improve.
Or what i'm just playing what i like without mind at all.
Non sense fear to fail (fail what? idk).
No idea.
I'll just keep on my own thing even knowing isn't any closer to what i should do to get better in a really fast way.

It's weird. Maybe be bad it's what actually make me enjoy the game and keep me playing. And get really good only would be void, and play stuff without enjoying it, only the numbers after.

That's mostly because i didn't up a single rank since 2 months ago. Even having 130PP plays what i could easily get over just by write to tillerino !r dt

And also why i'm spamming HR and low AR maps. Because i don't get PP.

Thank's for read.