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Topic Starter
johnmedina999
Greetings. I possess the title of the "Slasher", though I have not slashed any person or thing literally. The father of your child imagines my face inside his most feared bad dreams, usually taking place in his daily REM cycles. You can find me hanging out by the street St. Claire, a street located in Cleveland, Ohio, United States, North America; if you go to this street I will be waiting for you in order to communicate to you whatever you need to communicate to me. Because I am so lyrically talented and rhythmically inclined, there are numerous amounts of fellas taking the words that come out of my mouth or written on a piece of paper, both products of my own creative and productive mind, and passing them off as their own. I am currently wearing sunglasses of high value, designed by the one Louis Vuitton, and I am wearing them in a fashion that they cover my eyes, which, most likely due to a complication in my mother's pregnancy or my birth, are lower physically than my Grade Point Average is numerically. I am under the influence of the illegal drug marijuana, made from the cultivated plant cannabis, which is causing me to swerve and steer my automobile poorly and freely, an action that is very dangerous. Due to an unidentified outside force, the trunk section of my automobile is bumping as if I were driving on Eddy Road, from the street of St. Claire in the location of Cleveland, Ohio, United States, North America, which is infamous for being littered with numerous potholes that cause automobiles to bump when they are driven on. I have a well-known reputation for not bringing low-class wenches into my house, or my automobile, or any other place that belongs to me; when I visit gentlemen's parlours, I seldom give the lovely dancers performing on-stage for all the visitors on the parlour any money for performing well—please don't misunderstand my intentions: I am actually quite wealthy and affluent, but because I live so frugally compared to other people of my socioeconomic class and affluence level, you may call me in jest by the nickname of "Frugal the Slasher".

I wear high-class and most likely overpriced Adidas shoes as my everyday fashion, along with high-quality overpriced imported Japanese denim jeans. Presently, there is a human being of the species homo sapiens possessing two X chromosomes practicing the art and sport of Calvary riding, using a Equus caballus, more commonly known as a horse above my lungs, heart, diaphragm, and major arteries, which are located inside my abdominal cavity. My shirt is either newly-bought or freshly-washed, and due to this simple fact I am a very powerful being in the society I live in, so I believe I have the privilege to call myself "ze Sir". During my free time, I invite LeBron James to my house, and we down shots of Tanqueray, a gin, quite rapidly. When asked for advice, I told some of my fellas to stay calm and be like Carmello "Melo" Anthony. Very recently, I was driving my automobile to run an errand when I saw the local human possessing two X chromosomes whose name which was given at birth by his mother and father is Dave; I promptly decided to greet him not once but twice, and then I kept on driving my automobile to run the errand I was running. I pawned off something old, something that dated back to the year 1923 anno domini, for the paper currency society uses today to pay off all debts, public and private. I have placed a decal on the rearmost window of my automobile, and it reads "Mama Mel Bicho", a cryptic phrase that not many can decipher and understand. Just like humans who ride four-wheeled transport devices loosely designed like a surfboard can perform the action of skating on metal rails commonly known as a "grind", I can "grind" as well, though in a different manner than humans who ride four-wheeled transport devices loosely designed like a surfboard, and using a different definition of the word; due to this fact, you may see me in shoes of the brand DC, instead of the shoes of the brand Adidas that I mentioned earlier.

Due to my almost god-tier basketball skills, I do not need to be part of a basketball team to play basketball (and believe me, I am quite good). As you can see, my poetic skills are very advanced, especially compared to other poets out there—therefore, if you would like for me to write you a stanza or two, I will require a fee for my services from now on, and if you are not able to pay me this fee, I sincerely ask you to quit contacting me, because I will not write anything for you. You can call me and my automobile by the nickname "Ultra Mega" because I have thirty-inch rims on my automobile's wheels. My garage is where I keep all of my automobiles in order to protect them from the elements, and to keep them from getting dirty or damaged; in said garage, my collection of rare, antique, and expensive automobiles is greater than the amount of whips that Kunta received in the live-action flick "Roots". My Buick Riviera, only one automobile in my extensive collection I mentioned earlier, is lying on 23-inch rims, 23 being the same number as the best player on the Bulls' basketball team. Everyone else that is not as affluent and wealthy as I are riding 20-inch rims, which puts them at a position where they can be compared to tiny, small men that appear in the movie Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. All of the fellas that behave badly will surely have the barred doors swung on them in prison. My neighbors were quite cross with me, because my four 15-inch-diameter subwoofers in one of my many automobiles lifted them from their daily slumber. Both a crocodylinae and an alligator mississippiensis, more commonly known as a crocodile and an alligator, respectively, live in the interior of one of my many, many automobiles, this one being a Chevrolet customized to be able to play movies and videos, like a movie theatre.
Softwarm
Where can I send money to this "Ultra Mega" and order some sick as hell "stanzas?"
Topic Starter
johnmedina999
It's a meme :(

I don't think anyone's gonna get it :(
Softwarm
I definitely don't get it. But in the spirit of not getting it, could I have a stanza for free $.
levesterz
Tae
where did the glasses come from
abraker

Hwa Yang wrote:

where did the glasses come from
levesterz
uhh the protective use when getting laid
abraker

levesterz wrote:

uhh the protective use when getting laid
Don't worry guys, he definitely didn't get suicidus
Green Platinum
I do not appreciate this mockery of the sacred practice of karōshi. It is an important ceremony to the way of life of the Japanese people. You disgusting culturally insensitive weeaboos.
Topic Starter
johnmedina999
I can't believe no one got it :(

I spent a lot of time typing this out, too :(

abraker

johnmedina999 wrote:

I don't think anyone's gonna get it

johnmedina999 wrote:

I can't believe no one got it
pick one
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