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List of Excuses

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NinjaishGuy
Why do people play Osu? Is it because of its blistering yet rewarding difficulty curve, rhythmic ecstasy, great community, or "fun"?
No.
There is only one reason why people play Osu: to show their superior ability in clicking imaginary circles on a plastic screen.

But, we all know that you're the best -- that you could totally get #1 on the rankings, that the only reason someone beat you in multiplayer was because it was an unfair challenge. You were at a clear disadvantage, and you'd wipe the floor with these idiots if you wanted to.

Here is a partial list of the things that contributed to your temporary failure. Use them, and request a rematch!

1. Lag.
2. Dialup.
3. My mouse ran out of batteries.
4. My dog tripped over the wires and unplugged something.
5. Bad karma.
6. I forgot to deal with Fung Shui and now my Chi flow is blocked.
7. Lag.
8. Too many Red Bulls.
9. Alcohol.
10. Drugs.
11. Premarital sex.
12. Lag.
13. It's Friday the Thirteenth.
14. Bad vibes, bro.
15. Those damn kids and their rap music.
16. The Jews/blacks/whites/Asians/Mexicans/Spanish/other minority
17. The Christians/Jews/Buddhists/Muslims/athiests/scientologists/other religion
18. Robots
19. Hacks
20. Lag.
21. My mom/dad/sister/brother/aunt/dog/fish/Siamese twin took me out of THE ZONE
22. Menopause.
23. PMS.
24. The Black Plague.
25. Onset of Lou Gehrig's disease
26. Cancer/AIDS/other terminal illness
27. You Zergling rushed me.
28. Someone is calllllllling.
29. My alternate personality played the last game, not me.
30. The hobbits took the precious.
31. My hot pocket is done.
32. I was just testing you.

Feel free to add to the list.
GSGold
My computer glitched and locked up fora second (happens to me occasionally actually)
I'm getting used to MY TABLET HEY GUYS DID I MENTION I USE A TABLET FOR THIS GAME, THAT'S RIGHT I DON'T USE A MOUSE, I USE A TABLET
My hand is sore.
This mouse isn't the mouse I usually play with.
The beatspacing sucks.
Saturos
33. Taco Bell
34. Sneezing
35. Mentally challenged
36. Lolginer

I fall victim to 33 and 35 regularly. Also 28.
Loginer

Saturos wrote:

36. Lolginer
I'm THAT good? Why, thank you. :D
Neo@lex
This map has been deleted on the request of its creator. It is no longer available.
awp

NinjaishGuy wrote:

28. Someone is calllllllling.
I fukkin' lolled

38. My net died.
39. My house lost power.
40. I was just robbed.
41. I got a boner halfway through.
42. My girlfriends found out about each other and now both are yelling at me.
43. I was curious to see how happy you would be if you thought you'd actually won.
44. Lag
Neo@lex
45. Xfire update.
46. I realised just how insignificant we are when compared to the rest of the universe, I mean, if I was to slit my throat RIGHT NOW, what difference would it make? WHAT DIFFERENCE WOULD IT MAKE?!
47. I realised how I was wasting my life on the computer all day. So I left, grabbed an apple, and shouted "HELLO WORLD! IT'S BEEN A WHILE!", then I lolled, and had to go tell people about it on IRC, but I was too lazy to get back up, so I went back to playing osu.
MusicFan
#48. Surprise! Windows updater!

I hate that thing >:(
Slain087
#49: My mouse fell off my round mousepad!

#50: ...BSOD/Bancho Disconnect

#51: Someone decided to go into my local network and %$## me up

#52: You killed my arm
WaddleD_old
#53: Carpal tunnel.

Lrn 2 count //Loginer
Loginer

MusicFan wrote:

#48. Surprise! Windows updater!

I hate that thing >:(
Then update to SP1. It DIEs. :3
RemmyX25
#54 Mom pulled the plug

#55 It was all a lie

Lrn 2 count //Loginer
mattyu007
#56 Google Talk message tiles causing osu! to lock up for a second or so
#57 MSN message notifications too loud making it impossible to hear music
xerxes_oli
#58 potty break!!!!
lol :D
MusicFan

Loginer wrote:

MusicFan wrote:

#48. Surprise! Windows updater!

I hate that thing >:(
Then update to SP1. It DIEs. :3
I have SP2. What now? =X
Loginer
This map has been deleted on the request of its creator. It is no longer available.
machol30
I usually fall victim to lag, and that's about it... and I'm not kidding! >_> I would not stoop that low.

so #59: lag... It freaking happens to me almost all the time! not kidding! :(

edit: excuse #60: my foot was asleep.
chan
Even though these are legit reasons that actually happened...
#61 someone mentioned my name in chat
#62 screenshot lag
#63 fell asleep
#64 opened chat
#65 sneezed
#66 I'm not using headphones
#67 Sound from the person playing next to me causes me to hit all my notes early
#68 Universal offset's off
#69 Beatmapper's universal offset is off
#70 Poorly timed beatmap
#71 Damn moderators ranking horribly mapped songs
#72 Old beatmap with bad spacing
#73 Mouse went over mousepad/ran out of room to move mouse
#74 Peppy there's a bug with this beatmap
#75 pixelshader 1.1 makes slider trails hard to judge
#76 This skin sucks
#77 People keep announcing me in chat (the one that gives the purple highlight)

That actually did happen to me, Peppy typed something like DISTRACTIONDISTRACTIONDISTRACTIONDISTRACTIONDISTRACTION
Surprisingly effective.
Agent BA8 Rookbie
#78. I can't keep focused.
#79. That Network Connections thing keeps popping up.
#80. I'm making my own map.
#81. The dang difficulty for most songs is too hard.
#82. I don't wanna be #1, cause then you got people cruising to kill you.
#83. TWEWY is too fun.
#84. My favourite songs are unranked.
Card N'FoRcE
#85 those damned ForeCastFox slidealerts
#86 mousepad slipping away
#87 really really bad spacing
#88 mouse goes easy (if it goes insane it can do the map anyway)
#89 I was clicking X&C (or A&S, or <&Z)
#90 first time playing this map

EDIT:
#91 testing a new skin
James
#92 James
#93 Darn you James
#94 Damn you James
#95 fuck you James
#96 awesome map James!
#97 died because of high drain rate and no break
Neo@lex
98. It's hard to explain...
99. You'll never believe me.
100. James' sig.
101. I 101'd at something.
102. You don't wanna know....
103. woah! the thing that's happening has changed it's behavior, rendering it even more interesting!
machol30
104. Slider velocity changed drastically in mid-slider.
105. James.

edit: 106. Distracting strobing effects.
107. Distracting Combo Fire.
Shirotora_old
108. I'm actually a woman in a man's body in a woman's body in a man's body... and now the women are arguing.

RemmyX25
109.) WTF James?!
110.) And WHY did I want to be a mod?
111.) Breaking osu!
112.) getting yelled at by peppy for said breakage.
Fraeon
113. Honey, stop unzipping my pants, I'm playing osu! here. Oh great, now I failed a spi...
awp
114. Used to snaking.
115. [14:15] <mrtn> torm please redo this 1 my webbrowser was lagging me (stupid flash ads)
shinn_old
116: Was reading the IRC in break and missed the next beat, and the next, and the next....
117: My arm died
118: My mouse pointer kept jumping around like crazy
119: Slipping Coke in break and then I missed a beat, the next one, the one afterward....
120: Mom came and have to minimize osu
121: Mouse too uncomfortable
122: Keyboard too uncomfortable

Anymore?
Card N'FoRcE
#123: the servers for downloading firefox3 are down
#124: I can't win against you, Saturos!
0bj3c7i0n
#125: lag
#126: osu/peppy
#127: no sleep
#128: talking to myself
#129: not paying attention
#130: crappy computer
#131: carpal tunnel
#132: lazy
#133: food
#134: windows
#135: yelled at by brother through gtalk
#136: thunder storm
#137: I wish to get to rank #1
#138: my tablet is crap
#139: its late in America rate now...
#140: lag

too many to list
Slain087
#141: Not realizing that fraps is on, and that you pressed [the record button] right before you started your go.
mrtn

awp wrote:

115. [14:15] <mrtn> torm please redo this 1 my webbrowser was lagging me (stupid flash ads)
That was actually true :p. the site http://www.geenstijl.tv used to have a flash ad during the european soccer championship that lagged the sh!t out of everyone visiting the website, there were a lot of complaints about it in the comments on the site :p.


#142: osu window lost focus on a spinner.
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