Professor Jesus

Jenucide

Genuflect bitch.

genufuck

genuflect

Jesus has comanded us to call him Jesse lest you burn in hell.

Professor Christ

Jesse, you fucks.

When I try to type Jesse my hands don't listen and instead they type Jesse. It feels like I'm being brainwashed by Jesse.

editing...

also, jesse ofc

*sigh*

Can we ban Trash Boat from this thread please?

from all threads*

Genuflect.

"... Jesse." you finish your sentence, avoiding a completely awkward introduction.

"Nice to meet you too." Jesus pats you on the shoulder, probably happy that you've addressed him casually. [Homeroom Teacher +1]

Voice
Suddenly it hits you. Your palms are sweaty; knees weak; and arms are heavy. You vomit on your conveniently placed ugly sweater and get on your hands and knees in front of your homeroom teacher. You instinctively genuflect thinking of your mom's spaghetti. She sucks at making spaghetti.

"Whoa." Jesus grabs your arms and pulls you up. Your strength returns immediately, and you apologize just as quickly.

"Sorry, I felt a bit light-headed."

"You alright? The nurse's office is just down the hall."

"N-No, I'm fine, I think it was just..." You stop for a moment, thinking back on why you genuflected at all. The feeling was strange; as if you were possessed by some evil spirit or something.. You doubt a nurse could help with that. You decide to go by your family's default reply: "It was my mom's fault."

"I perfectly understand." Jesus nods and waits for a moment. "Well, let's introduce you to the class then. Come on, follow me."

"Ah, okay." You say as you follow Jesus up the stairs to the second floor and into one of the unfamiliar hallways. You dispose of the dirty sweater on a trash bin along the way.

The well-dressed teacher walks down the surprisingly dark hallway as you follow suit. You pass by posters, boards, and classrooms, though the darkness doesn't let you focus on anything very well. There are no windows and the lights seem to be off. The only thing settling you down would be the sound of your footsteps and the walking light bulb in front of you. You feel tempted to ask, but you feel like you're better off not knowing.

"Sorry, mechanic said he'd fix the lights today, but you can't expect much from that guy to begin with." Jesus breaks the silence. "So, you want to do the introductions?" He adds, stopping right next to a door. Inane chatter can be heard from the other side.

"I'll do it." You man up and follow Jesus into the classroom.

The window on the side lets in a healthy amount of light into the room, at least compared to the dreary hallway. You note about two dozen students in the classroom, half of them hurrying to their desks at the sight of their homeroom teacher. Jesus walks up to face the class, you stand by his side. The students take their seats and prepare for homeroom while Jesus waits.

You take a good look at the class while they inspect you, save for the napping students. The class is mostly made up of foreigners, though you can't bother to identify them one by one. You can tell at a glance that they've practically got every ethnicity covered in here.

"Quiet everybody, we got a new student in here." Jesus nods at you.

You nod back and take a step forward.

"Hi, I'm Shirou Marinkovich. I'm a new student from Russia, though I'm half-Japanese. Pleasure to meet you."

Yep, short and simple. To finish, you ought to...

[] Bow and step back.
[] Kick over the podium and finish.
[] Genuflect.
[] Ask to be seated next to the window in the back row.

kick over the podium and finish.

followed by genuflection.

obviously aiming for off topic route here.

You've gotta keep with the genuflecting theme here. They'll think it's some half-russian half-japanese custom or something. Which is cool. Which will get you laid.

Kicking down the podium will make them think you're communist

Kanye West wrote:

You've gotta keep with the genuflecting theme here. They'll think it's some half-russian half-japanese custom or something. Which is cool. Which will get you laid.

Kicking down the podium will make them think you're communist

kicking the podium will lead to the off topic route.

the off topic route is obviously the goal. nobody plays for the chicks man.

Tanzklaue wrote:

Kanye West wrote:

You've gotta keep with the genuflecting theme here. They'll think it's some half-russian half-japanese custom or something. Which is cool. Which will get you laid.

Kicking down the podium will make them think you're communist

kicking the podium will lead to the off topic route.

the off topic route is obviously the goal. nobody plays for the chicks man.

Ah, the international bestseller "Why I'm Still Single" - by Tanzklaue

genuflect

Ask to be seated next to the window in the back row.

Bow and step back.
Aiming for that typical main character "Plain and not so interesting guy" image.

kick over the podium and finish

kicking the podium will lead to the off topic route.

the off topic route is obviously the goal. nobody plays for the chicks man.[/quote]

genuflect

i think the character should state "that's all really" to sound even more of a loser wwww
but we can't have that

kick over the podium, then lean into the mic and ask to sit in the back row next to the window, like the main character in an anime

GENUFLECT

Ask to be seated next to the window in the back row.

And I demand more

Brian OA wrote:

Voice

><

Genuflect.

Tanzklaue wrote:

Kanye West wrote:

You've gotta keep with the genuflecting theme here. They'll think it's some half-russian half-japanese custom or something. Which is cool. Which will get you laid.

Kicking down the podium will make them think you're communist

kicking the podium will lead to the off topic route.

the off topic route is obviously the goal. nobody plays for the chicks man.

In games like these, the no gf is a death flag. bf doesn't count.



Then it comes again. Your body feels like it's made of lead; your vision becomes a blur and you fall to your knees.

"Whoa!" Jesus steps in and catches you before you hit the floor. Your vision sways to the class as you notice a devilish green aura towering above one of the back rows. You make out the silhouette to be none other than Osaka Bancho getting up from his desk, then sitting back down upon realizing you haven't crossed the line into the forbidden. [Osaka Bancho -1]

"That was close..." you mutter under you breath.

"That's it. Sorry guys, but you'll have to excuse us. I'm taking the new student to the nurse here."

The class erupts into cheers as your vision turns black.


You wake up in a white room, lying on a somewhat uncomfortable bed. The smell of antiseptic and sterility fills your nose like fire in an old folks home. You get up slowly, processing what just happened.

"Hold it." A person you assume is the nurse—a black man sitting on an office chair wearing large shades and a white coat—raises his hand to you. Your head spins just as he finishes his next sentence. "Don't move too quickly." You hold your hand against your head.

"What happened to me doc?" You manage to say after a pause.

"Finally, someone gets it fucking right." The nurse comments to himself. "Apparently you ate something horrifying, because shit is better than what I pulled out of you. I'm guessing indigestion happened."

"Arrhythmia?"

"No, I said indigestion."

"Oh."

"Anyway, I pulled out a monster out of your digestive system; it's still trying to claw its way out of the specimen jar as we speak. That aside, you should be okay now. No more "genuflect" options should appear in the prompt."

"I-I see."

"Speaking of which, what the hell did you eat?"

"I blame my mother."

"I perfectly understand." The nurse rolls over to his desk, picks up a file, and then rolls back to you. "You slept through most of the day, but you might be able to catch your last class if you hurry. Not that I care, but you can do whatever you want for now. Apparently it's called being sick." The nurse finishes while going through the folder.

"Uhm, could I get your name before I go?"

"Call me Doctor West." The nurse says as he tosses the folder into a cabinet.

"Alright, thanks."

You collect your things and leave the nurse's office, wondering where exactly are you in this school. If class is almost over, it must be an hour or two after noon. You really do want to meet the people in your class, but then again you're curious about a lot of things in this school too. You're also pretty tired after having your mother's cooking removed from you.

What do?

[] Head to class
[] Head to the dorms
[] Head to the main hall
[] Head to the gym

head to class

Head to class.
I want to see what Impact I made on the other students.

Head to class.

Get your head to class (ba dum pss)

you guys are fucking dumb
go to gym

Head to the gym
There's bound to be a clumsy senpai needing help carrying stuff, then obligatory door lock & stuck in storeroom situation