I don't know how to make a map, so I'm not an expert to say what to improve, but, for me, It's very good to be your first map! Keep going!
The only think I noted is that the volume of the mp3 is lower than usual, so, I suggest to replace it with a version with higher volume, and also, to "turn on" the video, because it comes included with the "Download with video" option, but is not activated by default.
I don't know how to make a map, so I'm not an expert to say what to improve, but, for me, It's very good to be your first map! Keep going!
The only think I noted is that the volume of the mp3 is lower than usual, so, I suggest to replace it with a version with higher volume, and also, to "turn on" the video, because it comes included with the "Download with video" option, but is not activated by default.