beatmap discussions

03:55:771 - why is this all on the left

the mods on this are really bare.... is there a good reason why?

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i figured people might get bored of stuff like that now

01:47:214

01:47:214 (107214|0,107214|3) - is this supposed to be for the vocal or the snare or

01:51:234

01:51:234 (111234|0) - why is this a single its even HSd the same as 01:50:874 (110874|1,110874|2,110874|3,110994|1,110994|2,110994|3) - these two chords

02:22:314

02:22:314 - onwards -- pay attention to when you strain the right/left hand (02:22:314 - 02:22:734 - 02:23:214 - 02:24:114 - 02:24:594 - are consecutively on the right). 02:29:934 - you seem to alternate it more cleanly (i.e., right for 4 measures then left for 4) in this section than in the previous.

02:52:374

02:52:374 (172374|0,172494|3,172614|0) - kinda misleading especially since only the final note has a loud snare - the rest is just percussive residue

02:56:874

02:56:874 (176874|0,176904|1,176934|2,176964|0,176994|3,177024|1,177054|2,177084|3) - burst sound is not the same as 02:58:314 - 02:53:034 - 02:54:474 -, more important here to pay attention to this because you're solely relying on ln visuals rather than your patterning (which is very bland & does not do the job of diverse representation well) to represent the wubs

03:01:914

03:01:914 (181914|2,181914|3,181914|0,182034|1,182034|0) - such an intense grating sound CANNOT be modeled the same as all the other measures (02:59:034 - 02:54:234 - etc.). again the patterning here is too plain to do anything your visuals need to step up to the plate

03:06:714

03:06:714 (186714|1,186714|3,186714|0,186834|1,186834|2) - odd this is the only set thats different in this section

03:13:194

03:13:194 (193194|3,193254|2,193314|3,193374|2) - only part in this section that has this trill on one-hand -- any reason why

general

**onwards
02:54:714 (174714|3,174744|2,174774|1,174834|3,174864|2,174894|1,174954|3,174984|2,175014|1,175074|3,175104|2,175134|1) here's the thing about these lns -- if you follow the burst sounds it starts from, for e.g., 02:54:834 - to 02:54:894 give or take 10ms. this means that every space in between the ln bursts (https://i.imgur.com/BoxIsa0.png) is pretty much deadweight & has the player hold into pretty much nothing. u can say that its ok because its fast, which would make sense if not for the fact that u have like 15 of these back-to-back with no variation in their movement beyond their orientation; after playing it more than 2 times i could already tell that i was pressing into nothing with the bursts.

i personally dont really care that theyre overrated; its more like they just kinda suck, its boring to play, and it doesnt rly conform to the burst sounds in the music . u would thikn that with an empty canvas of burst sounds u would at least vary their size/texture/length according to the general melodic intensity of the music but instead we get the same 15 lines of lns with little to no character/personality (not to give the artist too much credit!! stop copying camellia drops!!).

04:57:834

im bored im jumping around

09:12:474

09:12:474 - is there any precedence to focus on the left here?

09:05:514

09:05:514 to 09:06:234 - i get that u want to keep up the intensity but the song just doesnt have the percussive intensity here to continue supporting continued 1/4 inverse js, theres no reason for each 1/2 to be doubled especially in comparison with the section before AND after it

07:03:594

07:03:594 - this buildup is kinda lame given how straining the section before was lol

08:15:114

08:15:114 (495114|3,495114|0,495234|3,495234|0) - couldve been different since vocals r different

08:34:314
general

kinda goofy cute ending. honest to god this mapp is very inoffensive and for 9 minutes its impressive that nothing new happens between the slightly interesting ln burst section in the first kiai. i see some evidence of structure w/ the burst simplification & some hand strain focus and the ending while very stupid kinda follows frrom the body of the chart. u can say that it sucks to play since 9 minutes of this bs with that ending sucks but theres no changing anyones mind so w/e.

im opening this as an entry for others/the mapper to talk abt the ending strain & why its appropriately curved (and also to allow for external discussion on SR/'overrating', because both pertain to difficulty. for ref on my thoughts on the ln bursts see 1925721#3641370.)

x33!!!

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take my entry and post as a mediatory stance -- i hope that you know that i truly dont have a skin in whether this thing goes through

i find it hard to untangle your position within the community for the last 5? years (can't care to check) and the push for your map, and while there appears to be almost upwards of a thousand of these charts you've made now it's difficult to say what sort of substance there is to the stuff you're making. perhaps it's exactly as you want it -- a fast food version of charting -- or perhaps you might read as an indictment of your efforts all these years. either way, given the reflexive impulse of whatever happened on twitter with you & other ppl & how people seem to engage 'community dynamics' as a way to deflect personal accountability, i doubt that the latter is the case here.

it is in that context that i prod with these two questions:

  1. what is your vision for your map? is it to create the "potentiality" of top players to fill -- i.e., it's like the (currently) unreachable sub-3 min gap that speedrunners can't do right now etc.? do you also see it as yet another attempt at garnering status? certainly it's not like that's a bad thing, but it's just unclear what you intend on accomplishing with the push for something this substantively hard.

  2. is what you've created actually fulfilling your vision? i'd say for a song at the level of cbat-geometry-dash core, i'd be a little bummed if this is what pushed players over and then some. in fact, some might even argue that the song doesn't support this pushing at all.

cross-referencing 1313433#3032716 here as this obviously betrays this confusion that top level players may have when encountering the map -- which would be resolved if both those two questions are clarified. also note the ambiguous ending to that thread and the similarly ambiguous edits that supposedly made the map less manippable(?) -- like what's your point here? what exactly are you editing in response to? what do the edits serve to change to make the map better? in what sense is it better now? what helped with virtual's conversation, perhaps, is that you were in active conversation with the player, but even then that doesn't really qualify too much since the edits appear to have made the map less manippable (again, with a ?).

i think with a substantive enough answer to those two questions you (we) (not me though) can begin to go somewhere, but at this moment i suppose you can take this post as a open discussion board for other BNs and NATs to, erm, do their job(?) at mediating maps as contentious as this.

i also want to preempt against some pseudo-populism here -- like i'm not obviously doing this because bandwagon, and similarly a lot of people might support this because novelty too. that's not what i care about, however -- what i am asking is the why & how, which i feel hadn't really been addressed anywhere.

i don't think other people should answer before you do though, so do give it some thought.

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add GDers to tag

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another me cupcakke remix

 

[another]

00:17:848

00:17:848 (17848|0) - is a higher pitch than 00:17:991 (17991|0,18134|0) -, you moved 00:19:563 (19563|3) - to another column here too

00:30:991

00:30:991 - dont think it hurts to have a note here

00:47:705

00:47:705 (47705|3,47777|2,47848|3,47920|2,47991|3) - & 00:43:134 (43134|1,43205|0,43277|1,43348|0,43420|2) - since these are the same sort of sound i think you can mirror the trill patterning here

01:20:420

01:20:420 (80420|2,80420|0,80848|2,80848|0) - it looks like these two LNs are supposed to sound the same pitch wise since they land on the same col

01:49:134

01:49:134 - u ended the burst here with a single note but u tripled 01:53:705 - here

02:14:991
02:17:063

02:17:063 - the quadstream is cute but i wonder if you could've primed the starting chorus stream such that it leads into the QS more organically (e.g., jacks in the handstream that's less dense than what you have rn, fixes the above problem and allows for more room to vary stuff https://i.imgur.com/4gZMYfa.png <very crude example). also allows for the difficulty to curve into the final part 02:21:991.

TLDR: jacks make the quad/handstream slightly more techy to hit and is a physically very different experience from dense handstream

02:39:063

02:39:063 (159063|3,159134|3,159348|3,159420|3,159634|3,159682|1,159705|3,159753|1) - for others to argue: are these bursts appropriate? for the record (+ and - for pros and cons):

 

i have a feeling gzd has a type of chart they like

 

i like this its funny and weird and the song is terrible it's the perfect trifecta

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[beyond] part 2

00:28:696

00:28:696 (28696|1,28760|0,28824|1,28888|0,29080|0,29145|1,29209|0,29273|1,29337|0) - if you want to follow the alternation in the patterning (e.g., see 00:28:055 (28055|2,28055|1,28119|3,28119|0,28183|1,28183|2,28247|3) - and 00:27:670 (27670|3,27670|0,27734|1,27734|2,27798|3,27798|0,27862|1) - ) then i think you should move the second longer trill to the other hand. these trills stand out esp. since they land on the same hand, and i don't think it works well with the whole alternating-pattern idea you're trying to go for; while the patterns visually flip the physical motion to hit them doesn't.

00:37:606

00:37:606 (37606|2,37606|1,37798|2,37798|3) - why are these doubles? the entire handstream section here has these bass notes as triples

00:41:516

00:41:516 (41516|1) - why is this not doubled? sounds pretty similar to 00:41:709 - to me. similar snare sound occurs at 00:41:901, which is a single

00:49:209

00:49:209 (49209|3,49209|2,49273|1,49337|3,49337|0,49401|2,49465|0,49465|1) - for a "Beyond" chart i think you can afford to make these 1/8 bursts...

01:00:875

01:00:875 (60875|0,60875|3) - no kick sound (specifically the kick sound is syncopated and falls later than the red tick)

01:01:003

01:01:003 - missing snare?

01:00:555

01:00:555 (60555|0,60683|3) - 01:04:786 (64786|1,64914|1) - not sure if i hear the hihats here

01:01:580

01:01:580 - note here?

01:08:696

01:08:696 - is there any reason why the JS changes direction from right-left to left-right without real adherence to the music in this section? it felt like the JS moved because of the music until it didn't (see other sections of this JS like 01:14:080 - where the music ups its pitch).

01:11:516

01:11:516 - for a "Beyond" chart this JS section is far too easy (almost manipulably easy), depending on where your priorities are i think it's whatever, it's just a shame that a boss song like this one is just syncopated JTs at its most rhythmically complicated section.

01:15:465

01:15:465 (75465|3,75465|2) - any reason why this is doubled

01:19:764

01:19:764 (79764|3) - burst starts later (& 01:19:850 (79850|1,79850|0) - any reason why this is doubled too)

01:27:862

01:27:862 (87862|3) - don't really hear the piano synth here

01:34:016

01:34:016 - are you just going to ignore the piano sound here

01:37:414

01:37:414 (97414|0,97414|2,97414|1,97798|1,97798|3,97798|2) - so here's the big question for the BNs & QATs: are the SVs here justifiably as "strong" as the following dense HS section? for the record (+ and - relate to pros and cons):

01:41:773
01:49:978

01:49:978 (109978|0,109978|1,110042|2,110106|0,110106|1,110106|3,110170|2,110234|3,110298|0,110362|1,110427|2,110491|1,110491|3,110491|0,110555|2,110619|3) - idk about you but it feels weird that these two patterns are almost the exact same, even the previous section varied it up a little 01:41:709.

01:57:029

01:57:029 - feels like you could've done something with the background synth sounds here

02:01:003
02:09:721

02:09:721 (129721|0,129786|3,129850|0,129914|3) - arguable, but i don't hear these notes as trills

these affect hitsounds too:

02:10:811
02:11:452

02:11:452 (131452|2,131452|1) - 02:15:555 (135555|2,135555|1) - 02:17:093 (137093|1,137093|0) - no discernible bass beat. only really hear a syncopated one that comes after the blue tick

02:12:478
02:19:721
02:20:939
02:23:439

02:23:439 - is actually a burst sound

02:24:422

02:24:422 (144422|2,144422|1,144508|3) - the rhythms don't seem right. beats fall on 02:24:422 - 02:24:465 - and 02:24:529 -

 

i don't enjoy participating in rhetoric but i enjoy giving people the benefit of doubt -- i'm happy to discuss some of these points and i certainly understand how annoying a DQ might be (for whatever reason), but if i catch wind of any funny stuff i won't hesitate to hedge any bets for your sake and mine. also i can read chinese

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im here to ruin the fun <-- apparently people took thisseriously so /s!!!!!

oh andi didnt know problems r now only for unrankable stuff so

 

[beyond] part 1

 

00:20:875

00:20:875 (20875|1,20875|0,20971|3,21003|2,21003|1,21132|0,21132|3,21164|1) - im not sure if the simplification of the sounds here is appropriate; while i can understand the first two being clap sounds the next downbeat is stronger at 00:21:068 - than 00:21:003 (21003|2,21003|1). it's a similar bassy sound to 00:20:491 (20491|1,20491|3,20491|0) - , which you emphasized as a triple

00:18:055

00:18:055 (18055|3,18119|2,18183|3) - throughout the first js this seems to be the only one-hand trill, im just curious if you have a structure or logic to the way in which you patterned the JS according to the synth wiggles, because if u compare the first two JS waves i don't really see any discernable logic to it (e.g., 00:20:042 (20042|1,20106|3,20170|1,20234|3) - appears to be the only 4 note trill in both sections, 00:23:311 (23311|2,23375|3,23439|2) - and 00:24:209 (24209|3,24273|2,24337|3) - both land on the right hand, etc.)

00:24:721

00:24:721 (24721|3,24721|1) - this is way too soft to be doubled, compare the sound to all the other snare sounds in this section: 00:24:850 (24850|0,24850|1,25042|3,25042|0,25234|3,25234|2,25298|1,25298|0) -

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did somebody say imperialism

 

preppy white leftist band kiind of sounds like what a student from my college would make. while im not a buig fan of the wizzer style my bf is and hes poc so i guess i can give it some concession(s)

 

[diff name]

 

while im one for the tongue-in-cheek repetition of the name, i wonder if it's too blatant in its handling of the subject matter at hand -- a cursory read of the song and its genesis from (i think) J (the lead singer) themselves 'glass beach' [neo]classically talks about the midwest emo tradition of aimlessness (especially after college) and the alienation felt by whatever the cause may be (family strife/lgbtq stuff are the usual suspects).

 

what i'd suggest is you do a bit more reading on what the song is and how it came to be (rather than what it means); going through https://genius.com/Glass-beach-glass-beach-lyrics and *maybe* a bit of band history https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glass_Beach_(band) might help.

 

glass beach is a reference to the beach at fort bragg, CA, which is down highway 1 (which, again, the song mentions). there's curiously another one at massachussetts which i will now go to with my boyfrirned thank you.

 

im not one to suggest actual diff names cause i like keeping my own intellectual property sacred but i think the theme of change and travel-with-no-destination in escape? loss? of something is what you should be thinking about.

 

you mgiht also want to include band socials in the desc. (the twitter at least)

 

[map]

 

Let us go then, you and I

When the Eleven-Day Empire eats the sky

Like a humanoid melting like clams upon the breakfast table.

 

00:23:887

00:23:887 (23887|1,23987|3,24087|2,24187|1) - u follow the start of the guitar here but u 00:20:720 (20720|3,20820|0,20920|1,21053|2) - follow the peak of the strums here

00:18:587
00:21:387

00:21:387 (21387|1,21420|3,21687|0) - sounds like the rhythms here are more compl,icated than just 3 notes, on 100% it sounds like a guitar ripple. 00:27:787 (27787|1,27820|2,28087|3,28137|2) - sort of remedies it. also not sure why theyre different. 00:28:087 (28087|3,28137|2,28187|3) - makes the second one slightly tighter

00:28:953

00:28:953 (28953|3) - i think u can afford to snap this to 1/4. like the prior lns already do the visual work for the guitar already and i think having this floater doesnt rly work. also if u think abt it 00:28:987 - should be a triple

00:29:720
01:10:387

01:10:387 - dont rlly get the chording
01:14:587 (74587|1,74587|0,74787|0,74787|1,74987|0,75187|0,75187|2) - not sure how this works for e.g.

01:17:587 (77587|3,77587|2) - why is this the only chord in this vocal section

i think the second half 01:22:787 - is more intelligible since there's now snares that help audibly guide the stream
but thrs still stuff like 01:27:987 - which dont rlly have the snare sound as compared to 01:27:587 (87587|1,87587|3) -

and u start the vocal stream here 01:29:787 - with a chord when u typically dont

general

i get the whole polyrhythm thing but 02:03:581 (123581|2,123613|1,123645|0,124151|0,124183|1,124214|2) - these dont rlly work, esp since u established the whole grace as impactful chord thing prior (e.g. 02:02:600 (122600|3,122632|2,122664|1) - ) so seeing the same grace movement NOT be impactful is a bit weird

general

relatedly; for 02:07:366 (127366|0,127399|1,127432|2); i know its for the vocals but a three note grace for such a short sound like a snare too is pushing it. only at the end of this section would it work imo (02:19:166 (139166|2,139199|1,139232|0) - )

02:36:166

02:36:166 (156166|0,156166|1,156366|0,156366|1,156566|1,156766|1,156766|0) - recall above, this one works a little more becoz of the slight tune in guitar in the background but still

 

no complaints abt the guitar solo

 

general

certain parts in this section -- dont think combinign the guitar 04:11:807 (251807|3) - with the hihat sounds 04:11:944 (251944|3,252080|3,252216|3) - in a jack work, i think thats why this section plays funny to me cause i came in with the expectation that stacked noets meant consecutive hihats. the polyrhythm thing is cool but i think u need more work parsing out the hihats from the guitar sounds. either commit to stacking only hihats or make the separation more visible

05:21:751

05:21:751 - might be radical to make all the notes here just normal notes, held presses sort of makes this section slightly too intense kinesthetically in relation to how soft and subtle the song gets here

05:30:729

05:30:729 - not suer if u wanna map the drum taps here

05:41:995

05:41:995 - might want to rethink how u chord the snare and the bass hit here, like 05:42:260 (342260|3,342466|0) - isnt chorded but 05:40:593 (340593|2,340593|3) - is even tho all the snare sounds here r this subtle

05:54:684

05:54:684 (354684|1,354784|1,354884|3,354984|3) - dont rlly understand the jacks here, esp the second stack

05:54:884

05:54:884 (354884|3,354984|3) - should this be a chord instead of grace? i think this section could benefit from a moer consistent demarcation of what constitutes a chord -- specificially making chords refer to more short bursts of sounds (like drum beats) makes more sense here given how varied this section gets. same for stuff like 06:41:150 (401150|1,401184|3,401217|0) -

06:11:884

06:11:884 - 06:12:784 - i believe both of these parts share t he same sort of drum rhythm

06:23:884

06:23:884 (383884|1,383884|3) - should be tripled?

general

idk abt the ending vocal section, u have parts where u use chords for vocals 06:26:584 (386584|0,386584|1,387184|2,387184|3) - even tho most of this chart uses graces for vocal sounds, the jumpjack sections 06:28:884 - also dont seem to negotiate the vocal sounds too well (why is 06:28:884 (388884|1,388884|3,388984|0,388984|3) - jumpjacked? if ure doubling snares then 06:30:184 - should be a double too, etc.) i like the frenzied nature of the section but i think if u want this to work out kinesthetically then the way u separate instantaneous movements (i.e. chords) from more glissando-like movements (i.e. graces) is vry important.

 

i can hear the gerard way-MCR inspired vocals but i feel like with the divestment of midwest emo from the death of emo might help with the direction of the song itself; in a way the whole comment abt Society and People are Bad is already so trite as to be dead in itself and im still waiting for a revolution in emo-like sound

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https://docs.google.com/document/d/1DWNOWqYnQAdZBOD_tIX1EgqF_F1PblEBxyH1pc6JWkk/edit?usp=sharing
^ notes for unsnaps (look here before pointing out unsnaps!) ^

other general assumptions that i approach this chart with:

  • percussion ignored/not as consistently emphasized as main focus is on fluid motion of vocal lines & having an overt focus on percussion elements breaks this focus up too much IMO
  • all lns manually checked to be at least 35 ms or more in length
  • dirtiness in exactitude of vocal line (e.g. sound starts/ends 'slightly' later/earlier compared to pattern in chart) is given certain magnitude of tolerance:
    --------- i dont exactly think it matters if patterns/lns r 5-10ms off esp. given the nature of singing in general, which is the affect (as in emotion) i am trying to reproduce here (imprecision in timing, 'imperfections' in strain and emphasis, etc.). might be a problem if they r more than 15ms~ off tho, but i believe none of the stuff in the chart does it
    --------- unsnaps therefore also relate to the manner of tracing the sound (i.e., 'ghost' notes that reflect a substituent in stress & emphasis, vocals are more imprecise, variable in execution and tonality, etc. ec.) and have to be present by nature of charting vocal stress. this should also be in line with guidelines on 'ghost' notes
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terabyte connection

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Arcana: The Tune of the Azure Light

00:12:442

00:12:442 (12442|3) - 00:13:378 (13378|0) - odd additions esp since youve just been following the vocal line here; if you want to fill in the space for the vocals here i can see a bunch of other places u missed (00:03:316 - 00:04:018 - 00:11:740) but eh i would recommend not layering anything else but the vocals

00:21:239

00:21:239 (21239|1) - ineeresting but this is the only ln in this section that does not have a corresponding end note/is not a shield

00:25:461

00:25:461 - 00:29:905 - is this gap in ln intentional coz all the othr sections have at least an ln that follow thru + the guitar sounds follow through longer than what the lns in those timestamps suggest

00:31:276

00:31:276 (31276|1,31405|1,31544|1) - vrfy odd stack of notes, dont think the sound it represents is prominent enuf for this (also u didnt stack 00:45:378 (45378|1,45516|2,45628|3) - )

00:32:794

00:32:794 (32794|0,32905|0) - since this vocal stutter is jacked why not 00:35:239 (35239|1,35350|2) - &&

00:36:794

00:36:794 (36794|1,36794|3,36794|0) - any reason why this isnt the ln pair pattern like 00:37:239 (37239|0,37239|2) - etc.

00:40:572

00:40:572 (40572|3,40720|2) - u can also jack this like &&

00:42:239

00:42:239 (42239|0,42294|1) - dont think u should use ln here since the lns here are exclusively used for the vocals -- it makes me think ure about to map a vocal stutter rather than some wobble in the synth. see also 00:52:202 (52202|2,52276|3) -

00:38:128

00:38:128 (38128|1,38128|3,38128|0) - y is dis triple theres no snare

00:44:572

00:44:572 (44572|1,44572|0,44683|3,44794|1,44794|2,44794|0,44905|3,45016|2,45016|0,45128|1) - if the lns r supposed to go to the vocals then thr should be one 00:44:794 - and these 00:44:683 (44683|3,44905|3) - r more suspect (i get that these r supposed to follow through with the vocals since there might not be space but i feel like you can remove 00:44:905 (44905|3) - and just have an ln that extends from 00:44:794 to 00:45:016 )

00:45:794

00:45:794 (45794|2) - this note is kinda confusing, if ure following the sound from 00:45:516 (45516|2,45628|3) - then i cant rlly hear it here PLUS i think the sound at 00:45:905 - is much louder & more impt to the rhythm of this section

00:47:600

00:47:600 (47600|2) - again idk what this is supposed to be going to, i cant hear the trumpet sounding thingy nor the vocals here

general

i dont get the jack logic here, sometimes its consecutive 00:49:905 (49905|3,50016|3,50128|0,50239|0) - but other times u only have one 00:51:794 (51794|0,51905|0) -; i get that some of the patterns dont rlly fit a structured jack pattern but i feel like ure just filling in the gaps here rather than actually having something thought out here (e.g. maybe structuring the jacking like https://i.imgur.com/74oSMQv.png on similar rhythms etc.) (no the image is not a sugegstion on the patterning its jsut to show a structure/logic of how to order the jkacks)

also you should keep the jacks 00:58:016 - here too, no reason to stop them when u have space here

 

overall i think i get the section kind of eh, i just feel like if u had a structure for the vocals then inserting the trumpet sound thing wouldnt have been a patch job like what it is currently since im not sure what a bunch of the lns r supposed to go to/why there arent any lns [like 00:54:239 (54239|1), 00:55:905 (55905|1,56016|0) ,00:57:461 (57461|2) ]

 

01:06:350

01:06:350 (66350|1,66461|1) - kind of misleading to make this a jack since most of the sectgion here uses this same pattern for the double kick sound

01:07:128
01:03:683

01:03:683 - why is this ignor
01:04:572 - :(

01:12:239

01:12:239 (72239|1) - i get that this section has a consistent guitar strum that is supposed to be covered by the 1/4 lns but i feel like u could have distinguished the parts where the vocals & the guitar coincide better since this ln just looks like it goes to the guitar (which it doesnt)

more broadly this also goes for parts like 01:07:239 - where there is a prominent vocal part but u only had the 1/4 ln thingy which

 

a) makes it look like theres no vocal at all/the vocal is minimal and

 

b) makes it confusing to parse the section in general since now im left guesing with my ears as to whether or not the next ln in the sequence that isnt as visually distinct follows the guitar/vocal/something else

 

conversely u have stuff like 01:20:794 (80794|3) - which implies that teh vocal is much longer than what it actually is (im sure it ends at 01:21:016 - )

 

this applies to the whole kiai i believe (disclaimer: u need not necessarily change the ln lengths for the vocals, stuff like 01:13:683 (73683|3,73905|3,74128|3,74350|3) - also makes it clear to the player that its not just guitar ure mapping)

 

01:16:572

01:16:572 - triple

01:53:461

01:53:461 - dont think it h urts to double this

01:55:905

01:55:905 (115905|3,115979|2,116054|1,116128|0,116202|1,116276|2) - this feels way too dense for the sound its tryingto represent (which is just a guitar tuning downwarsd i t hink) (similar sound 02:10:128 - here)

01:57:683

01:57:683 (117683|2,117794|3,117905|0,118016|3) - patterns makes it look like 01:57:905 - gets teh vocal emphasis when in reality its actually 01:58:016 - that does

 

i assume ure not following the bass guitar thingy here 01:56:350 - 02:10:572

 

02:03:905

02:03:905 (123905|1,123905|2,124350|2,124350|3,124794|0,124794|2,125239|1,125239|0) - if im reading this correctly i think 02:04:905 (124905|1,125016|3) - shuld be deleted since the vocal rhythm of this section follows the chording release thing as with 02:03:905 (123905|1,123905|2) - for e.g.

02:20:239

02:20:239 (140239|1,140239|2,140350|0,140350|3) - kind of odd this isnt stacked but the others r in this section

02:22:572

02:22:572 (142572|3,142683|3) - dont think this desereves to be jacked

 

this section is really messy omg

 

general

i get that theres the trumpet thingy and u did work it in ok but at parts like 02:16:905 (136905|1,137128|2,137350|0) - it becomes really muddled and i cant really tell what the mini lns r following save for some subtle trumpy sounds + 02:17:239 (137239|0,137350|0) - it mixes in really poorly with the original patterning, not sure whyy this is jacked

 

having the trumpet sound be those mini lns also made parts like 02:20:128 (140128|0,140239|1,140350|3) - is kind of question mark? since i can clearly hear the trumpets here but i dont rlly see any substantial difference in the patterning -- i get that its hard to think about how to structure everything here so that it respects the general direction of this section (which i think is percussion chording/jacks & lns for the vocals & the mini ln trumpet thingy) but i think theres a better solution to 02:20:128 - this part given those ideas than what u have currently (e.g. must 02:20:239 (140239|1) - this be extended so far in? can't 02:20:350 (140350|3) - be the one thats extended? etc.)

 

03:13:016

03:13:016 (193016|3,193128|1,193239|3,193350|1) - i guess this might be reflecting some previous pattern from the last section but it just seems out of place given that this is the only time where u didnt jack the guitar strums in a running section

03:15:239
03:27:016

03:27:016 - this section is way too dense for what its trying to do, conceptually i get that it does something with the lns but in contrast to how this section of the song is built to do (a bridge/rest for the instrumentals) the finger is doing too much work holding down keys and managing ln releases which to me is the total opposite of a rest section -- i dont think u will sacrifice anything if u just kept this part as normal graces with only one ln scattered in between them (e.g. https://i.imgur.com/DPlHFpy.png ignore the missing hs lol)

03:37:016

03:37:016 (217016|2) - i dont hear a kick here

03:41:239

03:41:239 - i think people will complain about how hard it is to acc this part esp. since its 7.6 od, i personally dont see any reason why everything here has to be an ln esp since not having everything be ln makes 03:51:905 - this section less of a clusterfuck

03:52:016

03:52:016 (232016|1,232072|3,232183|1) - which brings me to the next point about this part -- i dont think the notes r timed correctly to the percussion (if ure following that) nor the guitar sounds, the percussion itself is on 1/6

 

im too lazy to go thru each note here but i feel like the section is:

1) a little too dense given that u had to mix the piano lns in which then makes

2) most of the percussion thingies feel very out of place and play weirdly (except for the ones that land on a 1/2 tick), which i think convoluts the part even more

 

if u want to keep the lns then sure but i worry that following the lns into the percussion parts loses the point of the visuals for me since theres just too much going on -- it also makes the section really meh to play

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oopa

00:03:466

00:03:466 (3466|2) - sounds starts on later tick

01:38:156

01:38:156 (98156|3,98228|2,98299|1,98371|3) - this too weak in comparison to the previous burst esp given how quirky the sound is (could do something with the patterning or ln i think)

01:44:371

01:44:371 (104371|2,104406|3,104442|1,104459|0) - theres too much going on here for too little compensation in the music, i get that this is mixing the burst and the piano thing but i think you should try to focus on the piano here

02:01:618

02:01:618 - feels like the 02:01:902 (121902|3,121952|2,122002|3) - pattern shouldve been here instead of way later in the burst

02:18:170

02:18:170 - 02:18:269 - if u listen carefully the burst soundn occurs twice [burst sound occurs only once at 03:06:988]

03:00:043

03:00:043 - dont think this really deserves a 1/8 stream, aside from the wub at 03:00:599 - the rest works better as a jack for the vocal thingy (its also not as developed as 03:00:905 - the vibrato section here i would argue)

what the fuck is this song

03:24:727

03:24:727 (204727|1,204885|1,205201|1) - might look more cohesive if these were 1/12 length as with the other beats (need to compromise the ends of 03:24:727 (204727|0,205043|0) - though)

03:34:990 (214990|1,215143|1) - though u dont need to change these cause bg tom sound

03:44:190

03:44:190 (224190|1) - i dont exactyl hear piano sounds here (but i do hear other sounds) (if its another sound would it make sense to break the stream)

04:18:741

04:18:741 - i get that the vocal vibrato makes sense heere but it just seems too dense given how muted the sound is (at least the start of it is too dense)

04:29:351

04:29:351 - compare the structure heere to 04:34:034 --> u didnt triple on the white tick 04:29:644 - but u did 04:34:327

04:50:424

04:50:424 - compare to 04:51:010 --> i would say that u only doubled heer for the dnb but u did double 04:49:693 (289693|2,289693|0) - so im not too sure whats going on here (same for 05:00:375 )

04:56:619

04:56:619 (296619|2,296644|1,296668|3) - this burst is too muted given everything thats going on here in the music, i think you should focus on the 04:56:132 (296132|2,296132|3,296132|1,296424|2,296424|0,296424|1,296863|1,296863|2,296863|0) - triple downbeat rhythm throughout here and make the burst sound thing a flam within the chording

my god the song at th end holy fuck

general

its just hard to hear vsome of the bursts 06:26:994 - in this section, i guess it goes to the scree sound but i felt like the focus was on the bass gluts (and the occassional bzzt sound) and the 1/8 stream detracts a lot from the chordsmashing feeling u know -- its also a qualitatively different experience from the streams at 06:33:516 - since these were obviously going to the speedcore thing (which is a somewhat logical conclusion of the chordsmashing)

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shoegeezwer:

playability bs:
00:41:583 - move this to the other hand, the one hand gallop before this doesn't give this minijack enough emphasis i think

00:42:032 - section is a bit awkward because of how the broken rhythms switch hands and that there's only one motion throughout. there's too little tension for players to time themselves properly. would suggest making the broken rhythms start on the same hand or change the broken rhythm patterns to have some sort of [14][23]/[23][14] equivalent somewhere. i'd recommend the former

01:06:968 - the patterns here feel too smooth and almost jumptrillable to play. i can't properly explain why, but i can definitely feel that there's a lot more prudence in this section, a bit more than necessary. i think a lot of it has to do with how few anchors or minijacks there are in some sections, especially the sections with bursts.

more concretely:
01:07:865 - missing double
01:10:686 - maybe a bit too much stress on the left hand
01:13:314 - missing burst
01:13:571 - you can afford to have a harder pattern here. there's also a missing double at 01:13:763. you can do something rude like [34]241 for the 1/6 burst and make the two doubles [23]/[14]. that way the pattern is comfortable but still very punchy. there are many rhythms like this throughout this section so you might want to do variants of this
01:15:750 - missing double
01:16:071 - missing double

a lot of longer 1/6 bursts you can afford to have a hidden 1/3 minijack in various places.

01:18:186 - really long patch of just jumpjacking, not very fast jumpjacking so you can place a one-hand trill somewhere (01:18:442 maybe?)

01:18:955 - you can make this a straight up 5-note split jumptrill and omit 01:19:212 (79212|2) -. the bass kicks are super prominent here

01:19:628 (79628|2,79628|3,79692|1,79692|0,79789|3,79821|2,79853|1,79885|0,79917|2,79917|3) - can be a bit harder, this is a 5-note jumptrill sandwiched between a lot of jumptrills

01:19:981 - dense JS would work here

01:20:494 - harder more OH trilly dense JS patterns can work instead

the JS after is PR'd so i'll close an eye to that, but do make an effort to make the patterns a bit less rolly outside of the heavy LN sections because i do feel that they can be a bit meatier there. a lot of the chorus can be jumptrilled pretty hard in general and i feel that you can emphasise the higher synths with one-hand minitrilling instead of what you currently have, but that's my view

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since this will be dqd y not

 

abril

star of the maple world

00:32:723

00:32:723 (32723|2,32723|3,32960|1,32960|3,33197|3,33197|2,33433|2,33433|1,33670|2,33670|3) - is tbhere any logic to the doubling heer cause if im seeing this correctly it shjould look more like https://i.imgur.com/PaKwOjE.png (barring col 4 lol) but i feel like u can drop the 00:32:407 (32407|3,32486|2,32565|3,32644|1) - trill thing heer for the double thing

00:41:328

00:41:328 - wouldnt it make more sense to double this too [34] even tho theres stack

00:44:723

00:44:723 (44723|1,44881|1,45039|1,45197|1,45354|2,45512|2,45670|2,45828|2) - feels like this should start at 00:45:039 if im hearing the hihats corectly and for the interval btw (00:44:723 - 00:45:039) u should do smth else -- regardless the music doesnt seem to work with the 1/1 thing u have and it bugs me (same for fullerenes diff it seems)

00:52:144

00:52:144 (52144|3,52223|2) - crtl-g :trollface: (00:52:381 (52381|3,52460|2,52539|3) - and adjus this patern)

00:59:376

00:59:376 (59376|0,59439|1) - maybe flip cause idk it looks more obvious to me that its not 1/4 if u flip it (also oh ymg od this song is longbecauase it is the first time u introduce smth like this [i tghink])

oh ymg od this song is long

01:34:933

01:34:933 - ladder might work better with pitch https://i.imgur.com/KX4JLwR.png

04:34:933

04:34:933 - any reason y this isnt a double (04:45:039 - smh u copy paste)

04:35:802

04:35:802 (275802|2,275802|3,275881|1,275960|3,275960|2,276039|1) might be me but i wouldve have varied these in like a [34] 2 [34] 1 sort of thing cause it still follows the pitch of the music w/o being too overbearing in the js i think but too late (also i guess it might not have been too obvious excedpt in certain contexts https://i.imgur.com/S7dXuTQ.png )

 

fullerene

01:07:776

01:07:776 kinda confused on the decision to 01:07:776 (67776|0,67776|2,67854|3,67854|1) - do dis throughout this section like i figured 01:02:723 (62723|3,62723|0,62802|1,62802|2) - kinda made sense (new section + new rhythm) but it seems like this section is straight js (also some sections 01:09:512 - also feature the same rhythm thing but remain straight js) so idk [i think i get the structure (layering w/ the sounds when they appear etc) esp since u repeated it for the next section but idk if it works with the rhythms ig]

 

the rest is cool

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01:34:159

01:34:159 (94159|2,94188|1,94230|2,94287|1) - this is so mean + the sound here is more continuous than bunched up like this

01:47:497

01:47:497 (107497|3,107582|3,107667|3) - idk how i feeel abt this being jack together cause the focus is on the doubles and the jack detracts from that
https://i.imgur.com/Qq98gYS.png something liek this maybe
or if you want to keep the feeling of density then https://i.imgur.com/L2UoHzf.png (looks like imperishable night though1!!)

01:55:508

01:55:508 (115508|3,115551|2,115594|0,115636|1) - make the noets sharper than they are currently
https://i.imgur.com/7RHugMl.png might not fit with theme but squeezing creates similar feeling of tightness/sharpness
https://i.imgur.com/ODMPA3S.png 1/9 burst fit on 1/4 tick idk
alternatively you can jack them but given that jacks here mean a lot of things idt it would work

02:00:309

02:00:309 (120309|1,120338|2,120423|1,120452|2) - crtl g heheheeehehehehhehehehe

02:44:514

02:44:514 - add random noets here for epic piano trill

02:48:690

02:48:690 - then you invert ^ here for epic recall of patterning

general

isnt 02:51:417 - abt the same as 02:52:781 -

02:54:997

02:54:997 - transition to the radio sound not clear and i would recommend mapping a bit further into the souind at around here:
https://i.imgur.com/zyIk8S4.png 1/7 view
https://i.imgur.com/9vA2cw7.png 1/6
https://i.imgur.com/qMASacu.png 1/16

or whatever u t hink might work (u can omit the last fwe noets i believe)

also consider mapping the stuff here 03:04:202 - as well

general

peak of sound f or 03:33:179 (213179|2,213434|2,213690|2) - is 03:33:307 - etc., not sure why these r placed on delayed ticks since 03:30:281 - is snapped corerctly

04:11:190

04:11:190 (251190|0) - col 2, feels like 4 noet trill makes a better (snappier) transition that is ore approrprauet here

04:42:085

04:42:085 (282085|2,282128|1,282213|0) - dont quite like how continuous this lioooks given the break in bzz here, crtl-g that/make sure that these r separate https://i.imgur.com/UFTxeQ9.png (added onomatopoeidaiai for effect)

04:57:724

04:57:724 (297724|1,297724|2,300452|1,300452|2) - idk i dont like these being the same monke maybe grace 04:57:724 - ?

05:15:452

05:15:452 - feels like u can affrod to make t his a double

05:30:963

05:30:963 (330963|3,331005|2,331048|1) - make more powderful (and short) pls

05:37:184

05:37:184 (337184|3,337213|0,337270|1,338548|3,338577|1,338633|2) - ^ but the one above should be shorter/less impactful than these

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is the first beat (around ~00:00:395 here or something) supposed to be ignoerd it is bugging me

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od 9> or else

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d

 

00:19:468

00:19:468 - why is this not doubl

00:42:582

00:42:582 - 00:43:673 - 00:45:582 - 00:46:945 - am i dumb or is there another snare here liket he snare here 00:42:036 (42036|2) -

00:47:695

00:47:695 (47695|0,47832|2,47832|1) - feels like u can do trill motion for sound here

02:37:468

02:37:468 (157468|0) - 1/2 tick earlier

02:41:832

02:41:832 (161832|2) - 1/2 tick latr

03:39:514

03:39:514 (219514|0,219559|1,219605|2,219650|0,219786|3,219832|2,219877|1,219923|3,220059|0,220195|0,220241|3,220286|2,220332|1,220377|0) - this part the burst kinda random cause i hear the wooshes at 03:39:582 - 03:39:877 - 03:40:127 - and the last burst 03:40:241 (220241|3,220286|2,220332|1,220377|0) - kinda goes to this low bassy sound which makes it even weirder

general

njpt sure why 04:12:241 - and 04:29:695 - r different. also 04:20:968 - means that you can make these progressively more aggresive like idk https://i.imgur.com/8gMh7jo.png

k

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Since this is probably gonna be the next camel rank I wanna see if theres anything to change b4 it enters rank. I won’t be looking at SVs per se cause im lazy but i’ll take them into consideration when im looking at the patterns and stuff owo

 

Suggestions for responding (idk why responses aren’t as emphasized as mods):

- lower HS levels, high hitsound volumes masks a lot of the volume/intensity ideas in the music I’ll be talking about

- be clear – I’m not you, so I don’t know how u think; u need to help me understand

- answer to the problem, not to me; I’m sure u have reasons for ur ideas/opinions/actions, so tell me those instead of just telling me what your ideas/opinions/actions are

- I will refer back to previous points with [#]

 

00:03:193

00:03:193 (3193|3) – the twinkle sound u r following [i.e., with 00:01:843 (1843|2,1880|3,2293|2,2330|3,2743|3)] is way softer than the repeated synth sound 00:03:043 -, so I think u can transition into this pattern 00:03:643 (3643|1,3868|1,3943|2,4093|3) – at 00:03:043 – instead of following the echoing twinkle sound

00:24:643

00:24:643 (24643|1) – doesn’t exactly start on the vocal beat (it’s a bit later actually) – any reason why

00:32:893

00:32:893 (32893|1,32893|0,32943|3,32993|2,33043|1) – this doesn’t play like the sound; the wub in this section breaks 00:32:893 here, 00:32:968 – screeches here, and stops screeching 00:33:043 – here. Effectively, at 100% playback it sounds like a 3-note screeching noise – which the current 1/6 lns do not follow. They play more like a stream rn. [1]

00:30:193

00:30:193 (30193|3,30193|2,30243|1,30293|0,30593|3,30643|2,30693|1,30743|0) – is a continuous loud burst of sound, but 00:34:993 (34993|1,34993|0,35043|2,35093|3,35393|3,35443|2,35493|1,35543|0) – is not; listening closer there’s breaks in the wub at 00:35:293 & 00:35:443, which at 100% playback sounds like two woosh sounds that interrupt the loud burst – which again the current pattern does not really follow.

00:36:943

00:36:943 (36943|3,36943|2) – the woooosh sound 00:36:718 (36718|0,36755|1,36793|2,36830|3,36868|0,36905|1) – ends at the screeching noise 00:36:905 – here, and the next beat 00:36:943 (which u currently have doubled) is an extension of that screech. wat this means is that the impact of the sound does not follow the physical impact of the notes in this section (sound impact is earlier than physical impact) – which makes this a little odd to play

00:39:868
00:41:518

00:41:518 (41518|0,41555|1,41593|3,41630|2,41668|1,41705|0) – is a different sounding burst than 00:31:918 (31918|0,31955|1,31993|3,32030|2,32068|1,32105|0) - 00:32:405 (32405|3,32443|2,32480|0,32518|1,32555|2) – etc., so u can probably think about doing something different here. 00:41:893 – the burst here sounds similar to 00:41:518, and 41:89 is done different with the LNs

00:42:493
00:44:780

00:44:780 (44780|3,44893|3,45080|3,45193|3) – this is a more general suggestion than what it looks like, but I feel like there’s a bit of a right-side bias with ur bursts in the first kiai, so u might want to take a look at that

00:51:293

00:51:293 (51293|1,51293|0,51393|0,51393|1,51493|2,51493|3) – there’s pitch progression here, similar to the pitch prog. seen 00:56:143 (56143|1,56143|0,56293|0,56293|2,56443|1,56443|3) - . I think 00:51:593 (51593|3,51593|2,51693|2,51693|3) – these last two notes r the same pitch tho, so things can probably look like https://i.imgur.com/jwsg0Jt.png. Same idea with 00:52:093 – btw, just in reverse. [2]

00:58:243

00:58:243 – is just a pure bass beat, the woosh sound doesn’t come in until 00:58:318 -, so u need to reconsider the ln here

01:00:893

01:00:893 – same as [2], just the pitch order is flipped (highest is on the left now)

01:03:193

01:03:193 (63193|0,63268|3,63305|2,63343|1) – I don’t feel like this sound deserves a 4-note hold (e.g., at 01:03:393 -); it doesn’t sound bright/screechy enough like the rest of the sounds you mapped as 4-note holds

01:36:268

01:36:268 (96268|3,96305|2,96343|1,96418|2,96568|3,96605|2,96643|1,96718|2) – I get that the lns 01:36:193 (96193|1,96493|0) – follow the pitch of the flute sound, but the unintentional repetition with the bursts here just looks out of place

01:42:380
01:44:143

01:44:143 – the wubs here repeat like (01:44:143, 01:44:218, 01:44:293), even on 100% playback, so the start of the repeated patterning should be 01:44:293, with something different beforehand to illustrate the (01:44:143, 01:44:218, 01:44:293) wobs

02:19:543

02:19:543 (139543|1,139593|0,139643|2,139693|1,139743|0,139793|3,139843|2,139893|1,139943|0) – patterns simplify the wub sounds too much; the sound here isn’t remotely similar to any continuous wub like your current patterns imply, and the SVs don’t seem to be mindful of that either

04:39:343

04:39:343 – not sure why you dropped the 1/4 jacks (e.g. 04:38:893 (278893|2,278968|2) - ) here, the sound is still pretty obvious on 100% playback.

I feel like I’d be babysitting u if I kept combing; I think the first minute or so should be enough to give you an idea of what to look out for.

 

Specific to the current chart is the issue of technical errors; the patterns, while r generally ok, aren’t precise nor accurate to the song/sounds they try to represent, and with enough of these technical errors the entire chart will play out much more differently than what the song sounds like. make sure your bursts start and stop in accordance to the music, unless you have really good reason to do otherwise (e.g., svs already do the job). In a similar vein, simplification of sounds need not sacrifice precision nor accuracy; you just have to get a bit more creative with how you simplify them.

 

I will b leaving some general comments below, which won’t be specific to the map itself but more so about the way u approached the chart:

- make sure the sounds u follow are actually the sounds you intend on following (a more general case of what I said above) – you might think that bursts don’t need to be so precise, until you actually build an entire chart out of wrongly-timed bursts/ln ends/etc. – precision might seem unnecessary, but it’s the building block of your chart.

- dump parts r heavy handed, but from wat I recall its kinda how u do things – it muffles some of the dump parts in ur chart esp. since everything is just dense, so it’s hard as a player/mapper to distinguish the wub/wop/beeps, which r ever present in camellia’s density.

- try to be more creative with the wub patterns – I can tell theres some differentiation with the chart and I think that’s cool but I don’t feel it’s enough to do the song & camellia justice. Arche is no exception with its dynamics, and it’ll be good if ur variation/patterning can step up to task

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some lowdown

00:07:400 - 00:33:309 ; section uses triples as pitch markers for trumpet sound, triples for stronger presence & fact that this is start of chart -- lower density compensated w/ increased presence of triplets

00:33:582 - 00:46:400 ; introduces doubles for pitch of ,,,whatever that instrument is (uit sounds stringy) [A]

00:46:673 - 00:58:946 ; same structure as above, only this time the instrument is trumpet -- 1/4 lns

01:02:218 - 01:29:218 ; reverts back to using normal notes, but same pitch structure

01:34:127 - 01:45:582 ; pitch direction is inverted, the tones sound a bit more minor-y and changing rule from left-right to right-left seemed obvious [B]

01:55:946 - 02:13:809 ; 1/4 jacks into 1/4 ln for the instrustment thing idk the name but u can hear it. jacks feel more pertinent and makes the plucking sound thing more salient in movement (imhop) [C]

02:16:673 - column 2 empty for vocals. dont hit me for following the vocals. i think it's super relevant to this section to solely focus on it. snappings might be weird though

02:40:963 - 02:51:718 ; 1/6 lns for the violin. properly pitched i think

02:54:309 - 03:06:037 ; same as [A]

03:07:400 - ; major focus is on col 2, vocal thing

03:09:855 - 03:21:309 ; [B]

03:29:491 - 03:45:037 ; [C]

03:45:855 - 03:50:764 ; new pitch structure w/ lns, establish base plate

03:50:764 - 04:39:037 ; shortened leading LN to make more space for the ensuing maddness. with prior establishment of structuer i think the shortening for space is moer than appropriate in this case

some snaps r funny and u can check them in aimod. i THINKT the 1/5s and 1/7s r correct, but ill let other people decide before doing anything

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Didn’t rlly want to look at this but since other ppl have posted

00:05:347 (5347|0) – maybe im just deaf but wat does this go to? If it’s supposed to the strumming sound then it’s too late (should be around 00:05:301 -) but if it’s for the synth then:

00:05:769 (5769|1) – is too early, the synth only rlly echoes in at around 00:05:816

Pet peve but I don’t like how 00:03:051 (3051|0,3144|2) - 00:04:551 (4551|2,4644|3) -00:06:051 (6051|3,6144|0) - is structured. I suppose its okay but the sounds r rlly nearly identical and I can imagine myself being rlly sad as a player if I played this knowing how similar the strums sounds r. 00:04:551 (4551|2,4644|3) isn’t even a mirror of the 03 version too

00:12:988 (12988|2,13082|1) – the synths r on https://i.imgur.com/l8xA4sC.png these (maybe, idk the snaps u might want to check), the current 2 notes don’t even sound representative of the synth in this section (I can clear hear 3 beats)

00:13:176 (13176|0,13176|3) – dk if im comfortable letting this sound be a chord

00:18:801 (18801|1,18988|1)00:24:801 (24801|1,24988|1) – pitch pls, theres definitely something u can do here with the sounds

00:26:488 (26488|0,26582|1) – and 00:26:769 (26769|0,26863|1) – r audibly different in emphasis, with the latter being more reminiscent of a jacky-sort of sound (i.e., 00:26:769 -00:26:863 – r emphasized more than 00:26:488 - 00:26:582 -). I understand the repetition and all but the difference is audible enough to me that this bugs me that theyre essentially done the same

00:29:301 (29301|1,29488|0,29582|1,29769|0,29863|1) – see above, but replace the entire thing with the fact that this is a totally different wub sound? U have two bars of space here to do at least do something with the LNs, idk why u chose to just repeat patterns. See also 00:32:301 (32301|1,32488|0,32582|1,32769|0,32863|1) -, 00:35:301 (35301|1,35488|0,35582|1,35769|0,35863|1) - etc. etc. [$]

00:39:801 – should this be doubled?
00:43:082 (43082|2,43082|0,43082|1,43363|2,43363|3,43363|1) – …and then these shouldn’t rlly be tripled? [+]

00:42:894 – there’s a sound here btw

01:00:288 (60288|2,60381|2,60475|2,60569|2) – not sure if these r avoidable, but I think its pretty minor at this point

01:07:647 (67647|3)01:19:647 (79647|0) – iffy on this note & its sound. To a lesser extent also iffy on 01:07:366 (67366|0) -, but I can see how u can justify this one. The former is much more egregious tho

01:12:756 (72756|3,72756|2,72850|1,72850|2,72944|1,72944|0) – why isn’t this done the same way as 01:09:756 (69756|3,69756|2,69850|1,69850|0,69944|1,69944|0) -? Is it for playability or sum idk

01:13:881 (73881|0,73975|0) – not sure hjow I feel about this being jacked
Similarly idk how I feel about 01:14:069 – this sound not being noted but 01:13:881 – is

01:20:350 – since u already used 1/8 lns I think u can emphasize the vocals here with that

01:21:053 – there’s a sound here, this part’s similar to the sounds in the prev. section (e.g., 01:16:506 (76506|1,76553|3,76600|0,76600|2) - 01:12:006 (72006|0,72053|2,72100|3,72100|1) -). If u don’t wanna chart it specifically its fine tho, but I mean it doesn’t hurt to consider another patterning structure since the chordjack motif has already (and will continue to be) overused in this map

01:24:006 (84006|3,84100|3,84194|3,84288|2,84288|3,84381|2,84475|2,84475|3,84569|3,84663|2,84663|3) – this is ridiculously biased on the right :(

01:37:038 (97038|3,97600|3) – aren’t exactly the same pitches (but 01:37:038 (97038|3,97788|2) – are), 01:37:225 (97225|1,97506|2) – aren’t the same pitches too so the anchoring structure should look more like https://i.imgur.com/PWpBXaD.png [%]

01:44:069 (104069|0,104069|1) – idt this should be a double, doesn’t have the vocal sound nor the drum beat

01:59:913 - 02:01:413 - 02:02:913 – must the longjacks be done on the same hand for this entire section? I feel like u can definitely compromise on the LN structure if it means this part is more balanced

02:02:475 (122475|1,122538|1) – ewe 240 bpm 1/4 is this ok

02:01:225 – note for the tom sound? U placed one 02:00:944 - here

02:03:475 – there’s clearly a change in the synths here, I get that ure following through the synth beats (e.g., 02:03:569 (123569|2) – covers every 1/4 beat of the synth), but what I gather from the idea in this part is that u layer every change of the synth – which then means that 02:03:475 – shuld be layered cause I can hear the change there

02:04:225 – should these be buzz notes like 02:01:225 -

02:08:913 (128913|1) – vocal-sounding thing starts at 02:09:006 – not here
Or at least I assume ure following the vocal thing (re: 02:08:538 (128538|2,128725|0) -), because if u r then 02:09:381 – should be the note with the 1/4 LN, not 02:09:288 -)

Also 02:10:788 (130788|2,130881|3) – is inconsistent with the above (02:09:288 (129288|1,129381|0) -) anyway [*]

02:11:913 (131913|1) – should this sound be jacked along with 02:12:006 (132006|1,132100|1) -? The former doesn’t have the vocal signature while the latter does

02:12:381 – see [*]

02:14:725 (134725|1,134725|2,134819|2,134819|3,134819|0) - 02:15:006 (135006|2,135006|1,135100|3,135100|0,135100|2) – u repeat these but u don’t for 02:15:756 (135756|0,135756|1,135850|3,135850|2,135850|1) - 02:15:475 (135475|2,135475|0,135569|3,135569|2,135569|1) ; I have a feelin that you’re doing this “pitch note hidden in the patterning” idea (ref: 1034114#1861498) but tbh if ure actually doing that then I have to wonder what the point is for this section, since (a) I can’t exactly see it in this section, if at all, and (b) it affects the structure of your other layers, which in this case is the repeated percussion.

I kinda wish the chordjack sections had a bit more structure than wat it currently is, like u could repeat stuff and mirror the motifs and all in accordance to the music etc. but idk probably too late for that

02:38:819 (158819|2,158819|0,158819|3,159006|1,159006|0,159006|3,159288|1,159288|3,159288|0) – don’t rlly understand the logic behind these triples, if they’re supposed to be markers that signal the end of a repeated bass kick then 02:38:63102:39:381 - shuld be triples; if they’re supposed to be for the vocals then 02:39:006 – shouldn’t be a triple. The synths that’s building up in this part also don’t quite follow the triples as well, so im very confuzzled

02:43:038 (163038|2,163225|3,163319|1,163506|0,163600|2,163788|1,163881|0,163975|2,164069|3) - refer to [%]

02:46:647 (166647|2) – the sound is so light pls spare me

02:47:327 (167327|3,167444|0,167514|3,167584|0) – besides the fact that idk if these r the right snaps, if u listen to the sound there ought to be an LN at around 02:47:350 – because all the other flute sounds have an LN

02:47:866 (167866|1) – note feels too late for the sound

02:48:803 (168803|3,168850|0,168944|2,168944|3,169038|0) – definitely sounds like there’s more than just 2 flute sounds here

02:49:694 – there’s a fluet sound here

02:54:241 (174241|2) – pls thje sound is too light

02:59:538 (179538|0,179725|0) – the flute sound wobbles here; while this would’ve been fine as is, it’s complicatyed by the fact that u decided to follow the wobble 03:00:709 (180709|3) – here. There’s also another wobble at 03:01:788
03:02:725 (182725|1) – u don’t follow the tsst sound with an LN here (See 02:59:725 -), I guess u technically can argue that 02:59:725 (179725|0) – this LN does double duty but I think it’s much nicer to make all the harp-sound thingies (03:01:600 (181600|1,181788|0,182069|2) -) be 1/4 LNs

03:01:038 (181038|2)03:07:038 (187038|3) - see 03:04:038 (184038|2,184131|0) , 02:58:038 (178038|2,178131|3) -

03:05:725 (185725|1) – and then u follow the tsst sound with a 1/2 LN aaaaaaaaaa

03:21:288 – refer to be initial comments about these patterns [$]

03:34:788 – and 03:37:788 – refer to [+]

03:47:040 (227040|1,227040|0,227158|2,227396|1,227396|0) – don’t rlly get the doubling logic here, can’t seem to make sense of it. If it’s for the woosh sound (like with these 03:46:148 (226148|0,226148|3,226256|0,226256|2) -) then 03:46:925 – this should be doubled. idk help me understand

04:24:535 – if we’re strictly following the bzzt hihats here (which I think u should, the current section looks weird with all the 1/8s and none of the hihats), then 04:24:593 (264593|3,264710|2,264945|3,265179|3) – should be removed

04:27:972 (267972|0,268050|0) – not sure why this is jacked

04:27:972 (267972|0,268050|0) – hihat bzzt sound goes mad here

04:48:521 (288521|2,288615|3,288708|3) – idk if I said this before (I probably did) but tbh these shouldn’t be noted if at all, no obvious hihat bzzt sound

04:52:646 (292646|1,292693|3,292740|2)04:52:693 - should be doubled, while the rest of the 1/8s don’t rlly follow any bzzt sounds

04:51:896 (291896|2,291943|0,291990|1) – also no obvious bzzt sounds imo

U should take some time to look closer at these bursts, idk if I was attentive enough to catch all of them

05:00:287 - ignoring the fact that this pattern is pretty ass I think the 1/8 sounds start at 05:00:380 – and ends at 05:00:568 -. Same case with 05:01:787

05:01:037 (301037|3,301037|2,301037|0,301083|1,301130|0,301130|3,301177|2,301224|1,301224|0) – oh and I can’t hear the bzzt 1/8s for this one

05:04:037 (304037|2,304037|3,304130|3,304224|2,304224|3,304318|2,304412|2,304412|3,304505|0,304599|0,304693|0) – not that this one’s bad by any means (unlike the previous one I cited above), but I want to use this to point out the fact that if u opted to go lighter here (i.e., drop the doubles) u’d have more space to manipulate the bursts in such at way that it’ll not make the bursts as unbalanced

Woah im finally done

I think overall u want to pay attention to how u layer bursts and the sort of pattern motifs u use, cause rn this looks rlly bland aside from the fact that it’s qualified and it’s 7 star

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Don’t worry I never look at SVs anyway :sungalses:

00:26:477 (26477|0,26682|1,27093|2,27298|3) – tbh I don’t know if these work for the rising thing pointed out beforehand; making the rhythm here be 1/1 would be more intuitive

00:30:689 – u can make space for the 00:30:381 (30381|3) – beep sound here, e.g https://i.imgur.com/PjaauTu.png. Applies for the rest of the section; Theres also a beep sound 00:28:326 – here too btw.

00:34:079 (34079|3,34079|2,34387|2,34387|3) – not sure if these warrant doubles

Build up is pretty well done

01:20:723 – u can map this sound I think

01:24:730 (84730|2,84781|1,84833|3,84833|0,84884|2,84935|1) – bzzt sounds are actually 2 separate sets, one starting 01:24:730 – and the other 01:24:935 –. See also 01:31:305 (91305|2,91357|1,91408|0,91459|3,91511|2) – which is mapped differently too.

01:26:785 (86785|1,86785|0) – think the LN emphasis should be on 01:26:887 – this beat instead, since the wrrrr sound’s longer at that point. See 01:21:031 (81031|2,81031|3,81134|0), which is a sort of similar sound

01:33:463 (93463|1,93463|3,93566|2) – I think u can do 1/6s here, makes the squawking sound much more prominent to the player as well if it’s 1/6

01:39:730 – should sacrifice one of the LNs here to double this sound, don’t think u should leave it as it as. e.g. https://i.imgur.com/Z6p71ht.png. If u wanna keep 01:39:730 - this LN I think it’s fine? But I’d personally drop the LNs here to focus on the bass kick

01:36:237 (96237|1,96237|2,96442|1,96442|2) – not toooo comfortable with this being [34]s, since every other iteration of this sound is [12]. See 01:23:086 - 01:29:661 - 01:42:812 -

01:43:942 – u can make these [234] so there’s visual parity with 01:43:531 -, which makes sense with the sounds being similar and all. Have to move some stuff here around though

01:46:408 (106408|2) – u can also move this to col 2, so 01:45:997 (105997|3,106100|2,106100|3,106203|2) – these jacks get mirrored onto the left hand. Ref: https://i.imgur.com/aBjgZ71.png

01:47:641 (107641|3,107744|3,107846|0) – beep beep sound comes in 3, not 2; u don’t necessarily have to stack them all on one column, but u can think about making these LNs look the same to emphasize on the fact that there’s 3 beep sounds. Similarly, there’s only really one audible beep sound here 01:50:107 (110107|0,110209|0)

01:51:853 (111853|1,111905|2,111956|1) – don’t think you should jack these bursts, since u didn’t jack them 01:48:566 (108566|1,108617|2,108668|3,108668|0) – here & I think it’s better to represent these sounds as a smooth continuous stream. Btw 01:48:771 (108771|2,108874|2) -jacks like these are fine, since there’s no avoiding it + the claps in the music r better accentuated with them present

01:52:059 (112059|0,112161|0,112264|0) – oo gotta watch out for these stacks

01:53:394 (113394|0,113394|1) – should have 2 LNs instead of one to touch on the synth sounds, as u did so with: 01:54:216 (114216|3,114216|0) - 01:55:038 (115038|0,115038|1) -

01:57:812 – should be doubled, see 01:58:120 -. Requires a bit of shifting here but I think it’s possible

01:58:394 (118394|3,118463|1,118531|2,118600|3) – think these r 1/8s

Some ideas for this section; 01:58:737 (118737|3,118840|3) – u should avoid jacks within the streams since they don’t really follow anything, BUT it doesn’t mean that you can’t put jacks: e.g. https://i.imgur.com/rytEIOP.png; for instance, u can jack after the bass kicks to emphasize on them, and u can vary the columns in which the jacks appear – I did them alternating in the SS since I thought it worked well with the song, but it’s up to u to decide how u wanna execute them

I will stop here cause I think I’ll repeat myself a lot. But in general u might want to think about some of the ideas I presented above, which I can describe in 2 distinct points:

  • Way in which the music is presented. Where sounds start and end, etc.
  • Way in which patterns are presented. Whether they follow the sounds, have clear motifs/patterns/ways in which they appear that’s consistent with the music, etc. although I wouldn’t recommend using 1/16s unless its lightly layered I think LNP- already talked about this in their post too

I hope ive given u some ideas on how to further detail the chart better above, but if ure unsure on how to do something feel free to respond to this post and all.

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00:01:353 (1353|2,1437|1) – piano stuff is 1/6 but I guess its fine to simplify

00:03:047 (3047|1) – small glissando till 00:03:132

00:01:353 (1353|0) – this entire first part has the musical equivalent of an echo (the term I forgot) going on if u listen carefully, so the repeats u made in 00:04:064 (4064|2,4319|1,4827|2,5081|1) – technically can be done on the entire section too

00:09:488 – the transition to the percussion is spotty, idk why stuff like 00:10:166 – was ignored but 00:10:844 (10844|0,11353|0,11691|2) – was charted, 00:12:030 (12030|1,12030|0,12030|3) – why dis a triple, etc. maybe its cause of the long LNs taking up so much space but I think the transition can be done better. U can choose to lose the long LNs at somewhere appropriate to refocus on the percussion more vividly

U can move 00:18:810 (18810|2,18895|3) – to the left and 00:19:488 (19488|1,19573|0) – to the right so u keep the trilly motif going on here

00:21:183 (21183|2,21310|2) – these notes dont rlly need to be there, if u remove them and shape the 1/8s better the stuttering effect in the music looks and plays much more obviously. https://i.imgur.com/Ph2sO8O.png e.g.

00:21:691 (21691|2,21748|3,21804|1,21861|0,21917|2,21974|3) – synths come in sets of 6 not 3, so maybe u can think about patterning these lns with regards to that

00:25:251 (25251|2,25336|2) – jack is out of place becoz of 00:24:997 (24997|0,25081|0) – jacks before, I get the middle column thing with the LN but it’s a much clearer differentiation from the bass kick jacks if u just jacked into the LN https://i.imgur.com/TV0YEA1.png like this

00:28:132 (28132|0) – not triple but 00:28:302 (28302|2,28302|0,28302|3) – triple?
Part’s a bit weird. If u wanna force the triples then https://i.imgur.com/UCmBhht.png this can work since you’ve already established the single-double jack for bass kick idea, and 00:28:217 + 00:28:302 fit the bill. U should play around with mixing the ideas here though

00:30:929 (30929|0,31014|0) – don’t jack this

00:31:240 (31240|0,31240|1,31296|3,31296|2,31353|1,31353|0) – if u want to avoid the triple stack on one column thing u can look into making these single notes too, I don’t think they need to be doubles since they don’t have the backing bass kick as with sounds like 00:31:861

00:31:861 – snaps seem to be off. See screenshots below, left side r my snaps
https://i.imgur.com/olL676e.png 1/12 at 00:32:030 -
https://i.imgur.com/UX65vuB.png 1/16 at 00:32:030 -
https://i.imgur.com/OsbqRhe.png 1/12 at 00:32:708 -
https://i.imgur.com/W95bxXm.png 1/16 at 00:32:708 -

00:34:149 – same stuff as above applies here

00:43:429 – the buzz sound is here, not 00:43:344 (43344|1)

00:45:420 (45420|1,45505|2,45675|2,45759|1) – idk y these aren’t jacks, seems off to jus use trills to emphasize them cause everywhere else its jacked e.g 00:48:725 (48725|1,48810|1,48895|2,48980|2) -

00:47:030 (47030|1,47115|3,47115|2) – these should be jacked too, I think throughout the section here the jacks don’t exactly line up with the bass kicks; while in some parts I think its totally fine to avoid it because balance and all I don’t think you should be skimping out on emphasizing the bass kicks as consistently as u can throughout the section. Also might want to think about how you want to transition from a single-double pattern to chordjacks for emphasizing repeated bass kicks [1]

00:54:954 (54954|3,54997|2,55039|0,55081|1) – 1/6s

00:55:420 (55420|2,55505|2) – also want to keep in mind emphasizing sounds with similar patterns. Should the differentiation be clearer?

01:09:064 (69064|0,69148|0,69233|0) – don’t think this is intentional

01:08:216 (68216|1,68216|0,68301|3,68301|2,68470|3,68470|2,68555|1,68555|0) – I think this is a perfect mediatory point for the problem presented in [1]; to represent this set of repeated bass kicks as opposing chords and all. Food for thought idk

01:08:809 (68809|3,68809|0,68852|2,68894|1) – bzzt sound is anchored on two points, 01:08:809 – here and 01:08:894 – here

01:10:293 (70293|1) – should be deleted, bzzt sound only starts 01:10:335 -

01:11:013 – while it’s a different sound from 01:08:809, the bzzt clearly ‘caps off’ at 01:11:098, which presents an interesting problem in distinguishing it from other similar bursts

01:11:182 (71182|1,71225|2,71267|3) – some of these 1/8 sounds don’t seem to be strong enough to be done in this manner, in fact this makes it look like you’re representing the 1st bass kicks as 1/8s (i.e., 01:07:792 -, 01:08:301 -, etc; bass kicks that start out at every 3rd-ish bar?)

01:12:877 (72877|0,72905|3,72934|2,72962|1,72990|0) – dis is too rough for the sound its capturing

Same problems with misplaced bzzt notes and all r present throughout the entire kiai

01:14:742 (74742|0,74770|1,74798|3,74826|2,74855|1,74883|0) – dis one is even rougher than the one I pointed above & and the sound is much more muted than the above one

01:17:962 (77962|0,77962|1,78047|1,78047|0,78131|2,78131|3,78216|3,78216|2) – the bass kicks get cut with a new sound, making it audibly distinct from 01:17:623 (77623|0,77623|1,77708|1,77708|0,77793|2,77793|3,77877|2,77877|3) -

01:42:708 (102708|3,102708|0) – y is dis doubled

01:42:538 (102538|0,102567|1,102623|2) – sounds like these should be on 1/6

01:45:759 (105759|0,105759|2) – is double but 01:45:928 – isn’t; 01:49:657 (109657|3,109996|0) – feels odd to not be doubled. In general maybe u can reconsider how u want to chart the breakcore elements here to be more succinct? Think stuff like burn this moment or something, I think it’s possible to keep the LNs as is whilst fitting the elements around it. E.g. I thitnk the 01:59:064 (119064|3,119148|3,119233|3) – 3 jack thing is pretty cool and maybe u can look into making it more prominent? Like it can be the motif for the section or sum. Moer food for thought

01:50:843 (110843|3,110843|2,110928|1) – still 1/6s btw

02:04:233 (124233|1,124290|2,124346|1,124403|0) – don’t really hear the 1/6s?

02:37:474 – missing note? I don’t get why the hands were introduced here, I get that the music changes a lil but I don’t know if the hands fits

02:40:474 (160474|2,160474|0,160581|1,160581|0,160688|2,160688|1,160796|2,160796|0,160903|0,160903|1,161010|1,161010|2) – watch the balance of the jacks

Since this is frums I think u can do way more in terms of establishing a stronger patterning motif and all that jazz

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just curious if the hands shift (00:11:524 (11524|3,11524|0,11524|1,11638|0,11638|2,11638|1) - 00:12:893 (12893|3,12893|0,12893|1,13007|1,13007|3,13007|2) -) for balance, because I can’t seem to understand the PR in the jack section here

00:17:000 (17000|2,17000|0,17000|3,17114|2,17114|3,17114|1) - 00:18:369 (18369|3,18369|0,18369|2,18483|1,18483|3,18483|2) - as with above, the hands here repeat in predictable ways so idk if the above is a mistake or something

00:41:068 (41068|0,41068|2,41182|0,41182|3,41296|3,41296|1,41410|2,41410|0) – does this sound different than 00:46:543 (46543|2,46543|0,46658|1,46658|2,46772|1,46772|3,46886|0,46886|2,47000|0) - ? can’t hear any discernible diff. on my side

00:47:456 (47456|2,47570|2) – 1/4 jack should be between 00:47:570 (47570|2,47570|1,47684|0,47684|3) – these two chords cause synths r more prominent there

00:57:038 (57038|3,57152|3,57266|3) – shouldn’t these be like on col 2 given the movement from outer to inner 00:54:300 (54300|2,54414|2,54528|2) – w/ this jak, so every finger gets at least some action

Same w/ the next section I think

Pretty straightforward I think, idk if u really want to focus on pr too much tho cause the song is plain by itself

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https://i.imgur.com/KXSk5h9.png my ears

00:08:629 - think theres a snare thing around here, audible on 100%. i can hear the wobble. sounds similar to 00:07:975 (7975|2,8048|1) -

00:07:605 (7605|1,7605|0,7692|2,7780|0,7780|1) - not sure why u didnt [12] 1 [34] this, since theyre essentially the same as 00:07:267 (7267|2,7267|3,7352|2) -

00:12:892 (12892|2,12892|0) - this is a funny one, because theres some other parts where the bass is more audibly sounded and doesnt have the double (like 00:07:267 (7267|3,7267|2,7352|2) ) so im not sure how u want to do this. if u want to emphasize the uniqueness of this bass beat then i think u should be hiding it within the [24][23] and [34][23] patterns

  • counterpoint: other parts seem to deemphasize this downbeat, which implies that this should also be deemphasized. but hey do whateevr u want idc. see also 00:40:734 -

00:19:779 - idk why theresa note here, only appeared when there was a soft snare beat (like at 00:08:539 - )

00:24:928 (24928|0,24928|2) - no acknowledgement of audio artefact but 00:26:402 (26402|2) - 00:27:767 (27767|1) - acknowledged here

  • ok in general im not sure why 24sec was done like that, since all the other subsgequent artefacts were "basically" ignored (i.e., not as obviously doen as 24, see: 00:30:497 - )

00:29:055 (29055|0) - to be fair the sounds built the same as 00:31:836 - so im not sure how this is suppsoed to be patterned

01:03:938 (63938|2,63996|2) - 170 1/6 is 255 bpm, so this might gbe a bit too weird

01:26:535 - ignored snare

01:59:211 (119211|1,119299|0,119299|1) - particular jack isnt anywhere near any snare sound, so im usnuer what the jack is going to

01:58:878 (118878|3,119035|1,119035|0) - feels like the bass beats r pretty much the same to me, and is noticeably louder than 01:56:137 -

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just here on duty to make sure stuff is neat enough

00:47:607 (47607|1,47645|2,47682|0,47719|1) - minor but the 1/8s are on the right ear so idk maybe flip the jack

01:19:510 (79510|2,79548|3,79622|3) - flip and consider jacking 01:19:548 (79548|3,79622|3,79697|0) - throughout

01:34:473 (94473|2) - different pitch than 01:34:772 (94772|2,95070|2) -

01:43:018 (103018|3,103055|2,103092|1) - imo this is a bit heavy for something this light. 1/6s work totally fine

01:45:070 (105070|0,105095|1,105219|2,105244|3) - second bzzt is sharper than the first, so u can vary the grace gap (e.g., make it tighter?)

01:47:309 (107309|0,107359|1,107408|3) - i would understand this being a bit harsher than the above one that i said was too light

01:51:040 (111040|2) - mayb do smth with the sound here

01:55:219 (115219|3,115219|0,115443|2,115966|0,115966|3) - these r more ephermeral sounding than the rest -- i.e. they dont start out immediately loudly, so u can do smth with that idea i think

02:07:458 (127458|2,127508|0,127607|1,127657|3) - rather than being two separate sounds i think the wub here runs through the entier bar so like having another noticeable button press at 02:07:607 - here isnt as cohesive as having something that runs through entirely & tapers off at the end (like a stream)

02:09:846 (129846|3) - this sound is also here 02:09:995 -

02:11:936 (131936|2,131936|0,131973|3,132010|1,132048|0) - any reason why this is shaped diffeerntly from 02:12:234 (132234|3,132234|1,132272|0,132309|2,132346|3) - ? the wuebs sound approxiamtely the same to me tbh. i guess i can get the tapering ending for the second part cause psycholgogically the second wub sounds shorter than the first. but idk maybe the patterns themselves influence how i hear the song

02:12:533 (132533|0,132583|1,132632|2,132682|0,132732|3,132782|1) - now this wub changes intensity in the middle (around 02:12:645 - ish) so instead of it being continuous streams it should jar the player in the middle

also i think u can afford to make the knife sound 02:12:831 (132831|2) - more intense cause u did something stronger back in 02:07:458 (127458|2,127508|0) - and theyre kinda the same sounds. like i would associate them when i listen to this song ,. maybe its jsut me

02:24:473 (144473|1) - theres like the shhhh sound at 02:24:697 - which this sound does so idk if the ln does it justice

02:25:219 (145219|0,145294|1,145369|3,145443|2,145518|1,145592|0) - u can do some buildup streams here with the sounds

02:28:503 (148503|0,148602|0,148690|0) - i would avoid the jack association here just to keep the sections separate

02:32:782 (152782|2) - i would delete this note cause again make the separation between the diff wubs more obvious

02:33:080 (153080|1,153130|3) - bibcyely horn sound

02:57:207 (177207|3,177423|1,177639|0,177855|2) - tbh idk what these lns go to. if its the piano then 02:57:855 - should be ln too

03:10:049 (190049|1) - sounds like eating tictac. dont ask me why the sound tastes like tictac. it just does. anyway it feels like u can do moer with the tapering wub here too

03:37:027 (217027|3,217081|2,217135|3,217189|0) - tbh these r really soft

04:08:970 (248970|2,248970|3) - 04:15:876 (255876|1,255876|0) - probably shouldnt be a double

06:30:381 (390381|2,390455|2,390530|1,390605|2,390679|1,390754|1) - dont really get whats going on wit hthe jacks here

yeah thats all i think its good to go

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why is the lion king in the description but the song has nothing to do with it -epic man 2

[there's only one diff bro]

00:14:168 - either shift note down here or put one note here cause i can hear the piano here too pretty loudly tbh

00:47:395 (47395|1,47940|3,48486|2) - think u can adjust the placements of these with the pitch, cause i hear them as 4321 even tho theyre a bit off. also makes 00:49:031 (49031|0,49031|1,49168|0) - look less deliberately dense

also not to mess with ur patterning here but the 00:45:486 - synths have an echo (e.g. 00:45:895 - ) so idk maybe u wanna do smth with it like a 13 32 24 type beat ala dreamless wanderer

01:11:531 - note

01:27:486 - dis part kind weird cause the wub is strongest 01:27:656 - but the patterns only denser at the end 01:27:861 - not sure how i feel abt it

01:36:009 (96009|0,96077|1,96145|3,96230|0,96315|3,96349|1,96401|0,96588|3,96622|1) - these snaps r off if ure following the snare, if ure not then idk what these r

01:49:031 (109031|2,109304|3,109577|0,109849|1) - very cute

01:55:713 (115713|0,115781|0,115849|3) - think u can connect the two sounds (the alarm sounding thing) tgt by making the end of the jack smol ln. makes for more continuity

01:57:077 - since u alr mapped the wub at 01:56:827 (116827|0) - why not do it there too, maybe like an ln or smth liddis https://i.imgur.com/scUI2pa.png

01:57:895 - vs 02:15:349 - i tiink u can vary the ln trills here since the wubs r ever so slightly different in nature

02:28:509 (148509|3) - on 1/6 here 02:28:531 -

02:44:872 - main synth changes arnd here so maybe change up the lns cause rn the lns just run through the entire bar

03:00:009 - theres like piano here similar to 03:01:099 (181099|0,181134|1,181168|3) -

03:31:168 - not

04:16:304 - with the pitches + the percussion u can outline smth that follows the increasin pitch like: https://i.imgur.com/j4Vhx0W.png (barebones w/o the LNs). u can just fill in the lns as necessary

04:30:077 (270077|3,270213|1,270349|3) - i was hoping the highest pitches in the song would b smth stronger ala 04:28:168 (268168|2,268236|3,268372|2,268440|1) - but i suppose it no make sense since the second one has an echo so now im sad

no qualms abt the chorus parts i think

overall good stuff i think the lns in the chorus does double duty w/ the wubs and the main melody well & isnt overbearing like most charts of flower of the wildanes

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coughs

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a

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poob

diff name lame try

  • revelation
  • no prophet, no redemption, no mediator
  • singularity (see akira)
  • ghost in the machine/shell (see akira, neon genesis)
  • neo-complex
  • idk
  • lol

00:22:352 - first note impact

00:25:491 (25491|2,25665|0,25840|1,25840|0) - the drum and bass muffles

00:46:945 (46945|2,47119|1) - would think about doing something with these sounsd

01:04:648 (64648|2,64735|1,64822|0,64910|3,64997|2) - sounds more trilly than rolly to me

00:55:840 - threres a background synth in this part if u listen carefully that signals the incoming anti-climax

01:42:715 (102715|3,102758|2,102758|0,102802|1,102846|3,102889|2,102933|0,102933|1,102977|3,103020|1,103020|2,103064|0) - u can probably remodel this part so its more accurate to the chords & snares

01:44:328 - snar
listen carefully to this part it repeats snares on every 1/1 cause idk i think billain was trying to signal the difference between here and 01:32:468 - cause in 1:32 its like an opening wub

01:35:695 (95695|2,95782|1,95956|2,96043|1,96218|1,96305|2,96479|1) - i would be more generous with the LNs here

01:43:718 (103718|0,103747|1,103776|2,103805|3,103892|1,103979|3,103979|0,104067|3) - comapre with 01:49:299 (109299|2,109357|0,109386|1,109474|2,109561|0,109590|1,109619|2,109648|3) -

02:08:049 (128049|2,128107|3,128165|0,128224|1,128282|2,128340|3) - can also do something wit hthe sounds here

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this is sex music

01:43:855 (103855|3) - ?
01:44:262 (104262|1) - idk wat these r for, i thought the vocals r 1/3s
03:15:437 - also see here

yep dast it good for rank idc what u have to say bns L

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00:27:633 - the flute jiggles

02:04:533 (124533|0,124633|0) - not sure why u changed the bass to normal notes here when its lns before

02:05:833 - think this part has the same dudu as 02:05:033 (125033|3,125083|1,125133|3,125183|1) -

02:33:833 - missing mini ln?

02:42:433 (162433|0,162733|1,163033|2,163333|3,163633|0,163933|1,164233|2) - u probably can do smth with the ln lengths here

02:44:833 (164833|3,164849|2) - also maybe extend this for the vocals

04:43:683 (283683|3,283733|1,283783|2,283833|0,283883|3,283933|1,283983|0,284033|2,284083|3,284133|1,284183|2,284233|0,284283|3,284333|1,284383|0) - u can afford to be rougher with the streams

04:55:733 - think u should include the filler notes here cause idk i just like it more that way https://i.imgur.com/ZWcTFZz.png something like this would be fine

sensible map for stupid song. best one so far. mayeb u couldve done more with the synth pitches in the chorus but not really since u did it in a particular way

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04:15:695 (255695|1,255806|0,256137|3,256137|2,256247|2,256247|3,256357|1,256357|0) - dun really know if this part really stands up to the intensity as suggested in the song, its really underwhelming (both looking at the svs and the patterning) given that this is the end of the song AND its a build-up as well

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01:32:460 (92460|2,92460|0,92791|3,92791|1) - u can definitely afford to make these pitch relevant. sucks to see pitches like 01:33:122 (93122|0,93122|1,93453|3,93453|1) - being represented differently for example. applies throughout

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04:04:360 (244360|2,244460|2) - the beep beep synth sounds are delayed, sounds more like 04:04:410 - to me. altho there are bass beats at 04:04:360 - 04:04:460 - . might want to rethink

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02:18:460 (138460|0,138493|1,138526|2,138560|3,138660|3,138693|2,138726|1,138760|0,138860|0,138893|1,138926|2,138960|3) - disagree with rep here, first woosh clearly has two sections (02:18:460 - and 02:18:560 - ) and the next two i dont believe deserve to share such similar representations

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02:49:410 - does the metronome reset here? kinda weird how all the beats land on blue ticks. i also realize the song does the same weird thing at 00:40:693 - . not sure if there's something to look into here.

also 00:46:160 (46160|2) - might want to check snapping of this one
00:43:293 (43293|1,43293|0) - dk how i feel abt this, sounds a bit delayed
overall the synths are kinda funky in their timings lol

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02:57:078 - why dhis no chord

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worst charter here checking in with hot takes
02:48:645 (168645|1,168645|3,168921|3,168921|1,169198|3,169198|1) - i think these snares are higher pitched than 02:49:613 (169613|1,169613|3,170027|1,170027|3,170304|2,170304|3) - and i think given the space in this section u can afford to move the second set of chords around. maybe there's an arrangement where u can match 02:50:027 (170027|3,170027|1,170304|3,170304|2) - these chords also since this is the chorus and i would expect patterns here to be harder

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04:00:120 - missing beat?, applies to second part

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