00:28:815 (1,2,3,4) - 00:33:615 (1,2,3,4) and others, these jumps can feel a bit overspaced for this calmish verse. nerf prob
01:03:015 (1,2,3,4) - this should increase noticeably in spacing compared to 01:02:415 (1,2,3,4) - to make more of an impact on the player. It's the buildup to the kiai so it should be noticeable.
Same goes for 01:03:615 (5,6,7,8) - and 01:04:215 (1,2,3,4,1) -, and you should also NC 01:03:615 (5) - to keep consistency.
01:07:215 (1,2,3,4) - 01:08:415 (1,2,3,4) - these look exactly like the jumps u use after drop. some form of nerf can make the jumps in the drop stand out.
stacked 1/2 or repeat 1/2 can work well
01:09:015 (1) - theres triple here and 2 1/2 beats at 01:09:315 (2) -. mapping these might make rhythm slightly more varied
01:28:815 (1) -> 01:35:565 (1):
can nerf spacing more to make next section more impactful when they add the drums
01:34:815 (5,6,7,8,9,10) - a bit overspaced
02:55:815 - you should do something similar to either 02:45:615 (1) - or 02:57:015 (1,2,3) - here in my opinion, since it cuts of really awkwardly. You mapped two nice alternatives on similar parts, so I think you should use one of them here to keep consistency! :D