00:10:605 (4,5) - Spacing is pretty overkill for 1/4 gap in calm section. I'd make them closer, like the top diff did.
00:16:305 (1,2,3) - having more rhythm density here would be nice since the song is building up. Having them simplified feels underwhelming tbh
01:09:405 (5,6) - Spacing is too small when you're comparing it with the other vocal rhythm in the same part 01:09:105 (4,5) -
The vocal is still having the same intensity with the other vocal rhythm in this part.
Ctrl+g the slider 01:09:705 (6) - should do the trick.
01:10:605 (1,2,3) - would use different pattern since they are not following the same sound as 01:12:105 (1,2,3) -
01:27:405 (5,6) - and 01:27:855 (7,8) -
I'd try to make some variation/spacing changes to make it obvious that they are following a different sound layer. For references, you did the same thing with same rhythm structure on 01:32:205 (2,3,4,5) -
Either buff, one of them, would do. I personally would buff the melody since it's more prominent than drum.