00:10:388 (10388|2,10441|3) - would recommend to flip these two in order to create a mirror of 00:10:072 (10072|1,10125|2,10177|3) - , i think it would make more sense for the player.
do you mean it with like this? https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/952204814777995305/952995193324457996/unknown.png
00:12:598 (12598|1,12651|3,12704|2,12756|3) - dont really like additional LN considering previous structure has just been 1/6 LN stream. Its ok to omit the 1/2 LN in order to stay consistent with this. so i'd recommend this https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/17634814/0187
same thing should be applied to 00:15:125 - 00:15:441 - 01:18:283 -
i thought i already included it? or am i misunderstanding? https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/952204814777995305/952998810026664057/unknown.png
00:40:226 (40226|3,40226|0,40305|2,40384|1,40463|2,40542|0,40542|3,40621|1,40700|2,40779|1,40858|0,40858|3,40858|2) -
At this you can cut your long stream and delete 00:40:305 (40305|2,40621|1) - these two notes, and here make 00:40:226 (40226|0,40226|3,40542|0,40542|3) - chords (Or just do long ln with chords without any streams, in any case, it seems to me here need to make a variety)
00:48:437 (48437|0,48437|2,48437|1,48594|3,48752|3,48752|0,48752|2,48910|1,49068|3,49068|2,49226|0,49384|0,49384|3,49384|1,49542|2,49700|3,49700|0,49858|1,50015|1,50015|2,50015|0,50173|3,50331|0,50331|1,50489|2,50647|0,50647|3,50647|1,50805|2,50805|0) - Here I can offer my sketch, my opinion is that a full ln would be inappropriate https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/17736992/58ff
00:53:335 (53335|3) - I think you should extend this until 00:53:651 - to cover the length of the vocal.