Lumael wrote:

Hello!

[General]

• Timing:

1. BPM: Clear
2. Offset: Clear
   
   Folder:
3. BG: Background Dimension is unrankeable (currently 1365x768, should be 1366x768). I resized it for you in case you don't know how to ;w;
4. HS: No custom, so assuming its clear
5. LeadIn: Clear
6. Other: Remove "Panda Eyes - On My Own (Extended) (-Hanabi-).osb" and "Panda Eyes - On My Own (-Hanabi-).osb" since you don't have any storyboard on the song, and ".osb" is Storyboard file OK
   
   Other Stuff:
7. Combo Color: Clear
8. Song Setup: Add to tags: "drum" "and" "bass" "d&b" "e_d_m" "electronic" "dance" "music" "mix" "version" OK
9. General AiMod: Clear
10. Other: Your map has less than 5 minutes of drain time, since you started around 00:11:485 - and finished around 04:58:382 - This means that this can't be a marathon for approval. You have 2 choises, mapping the beginning or extending the mp3 a bit more ;w; You are right but i have seen other approved maps which are a little less than 5 mins but you are right, i should map the beginning

[Alone]

1. 00:12:519 (7) - Move this note to 200|100 to make the pattern prettier yes
2. 00:13:899 (7) - Move to 304|224 for the same reason yes
3. 00:18:209 (8) - 242|348 feels very good, extra jump here really emphasize the beat done
4. 00:21:657 (3,4,5,6) - Making patterns in a line result in a pretty poor flow and asthetics, try some waving on your circle placement, I suggest stacking 00:22:002 (6) - with 00:21:485 (2) - and 00:22:175 (7) - with 00:20:795 (7) - ok good suggestion
5. 00:22:519 (1) - This shape is very poor and you could improve it by a lot, example: ok
   
   collapsed text

   
   thanks
6. 00:23:037 - This gab is very weird because there's a noisy sound on the background hitting at 1/2 constantly and you just ignored it to map the drum and bass of the song, but this makes the gameplay waaaay boring as the rhythm keeps groing up but you're actually following the rhythm that is static from the beginning to the end. In drum and bass songs you should emphasize whatever other rhythm comes up, it's too boring to play the repetitive d&b style for 5 minutes: I know, but this part is short and i map that noise later in the song.
7. 00:29:416 (5) - Improve this slider like I mentioned
8. 00:32:175 (5) - Remake this slider, using too anchors makes it looks so 2013 ;w; no thanks, I keep
9. 00:33:554 (1,2,3,4,5,1,2,1,2,1,2,3,1,2,3,4,5,6,1,2,3,4,5,6,1,1,2,1,2,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,1,1,2,1,2,1,1,1,2,1,2,1) - I enjoyed a lot this part, but you could reduce a bit the volume, it's way too loud ok done
10. 00:44:933 (1,2,1,2,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,1,2,3,4,5,1,2,3,4,5,1,2,3,1,2,3,4,5,6,7) - If you continue following the piano where with some short changes to this noise you followed with those patterns it would be much more enjoyable, the way you mapped this part is a bit awful since this rhythm is not the strongest here, and the piano sounds quite nice to follow But, I wanted to map the other part here :/, if more people mention it i will change it
11. 01:04:071 - 01:04:416 - 01:04:761 - 01:05:106 - You could add some circles here by making some jumps to the white tick circle will consider
12. 01:06:140 - 01:06:313 - 01:06:485 - Why not mapping those? ;w; im not sure why i didnt want to map them the first time..
13. 01:08:037 (1) - Increase this jump so its bigger than 01:07:519 (5,6,7,8) - ok
14. 01:09:416 (1) - Same thing nope
15. 01:21:657 (6,1) - Shortening DS here doesn't really makes sense, (1) is a very strong beat, you should increase the spacing instead done
16. 01:25:968 (1) - ^ increased a little
17. 01:27:347 (1) - ^ increase jump here, this will also fix this small overlap
18. 01:32:864 (1,2,3,4) - Didn't like the overlaps, but it's your map
19. 01:40:451 (5) - Current placement looks a bit awful, try a triangle pattern like this: http://puu.sh/k7aPV/7d7951badc.jpg fix
20. 02:05:795 (8,1) - Increase spacing between them tried
21. 02:12:864 (1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1) - Too much NC, don't you think? Rethink your combos on this part, most of them are unecessary i mainly did that so HR players wouldnt just die during this slow slider part, but i made less new NC
22. 02:12:864 (1) - Again, don't use two anchors, too much 2013 omg lmao...
23. 02:12:864 (1,1) - Also avoid this overlap done
24. 02:16:657 (1,1) - ^ Additionally, the shape of 02:18:382 (1) - Is very poor, idk what you tried with these anchors but yeah ;w; sigh, i just wnated to try diff shapes.
25. 03:35:451 (4,1,3,4) - Small overlap here, just separate them slightly done
26. 03:41:140 (1) - 2013 dude ;w; :-P
27. 03:41:140 (1,1,1,1,2,1,1,2,1,2,1,2,3,4) - Again, watch out for unecessary combos, there are some here also ok
28. 03:42:175 (1,1,1) - uuh they are too close, consider replacing 03:43:727 (1,1) - far from 03:42:175 (1) - looks awful fixed
29. 04:20:795 (5,6) - This jump is too huge, nothing on the song asks for such bit spacing here, and why drastic reduction to 04:21:140 (1) - ? This should have the biggest spacing from this pattern tbh fixed

Okay, that's it for my part, I wish you the best with this new mapset!

Yahuri wrote:

M4M~

On My Own
-you should probably add in some different hitsounds, a clap-type would work for this kind of note 00:11:830 (2), some sort of dry bass for 00:11:485 (1)
00:18:209 (8) - it might look nicer if you move this in between 2 and 3
00:15:106 (6,1) - consider blanketing these
00:17:002 (1,3,4,5) - blanket can be improved
00:18:726 (2,7) - 00:20:623 (6,8) - so you have 2 different kinds of spacing for this kind of overlap, i would recommend making all overlaps the same DS to make it look more intentional (not including the flower patterns and stuff like that) i'll leave it up to you to catch those
00:22:519 (1) - questionable shape, try not to overlap with 00:21:140 (1) and 00:23:554 (3)
00:30:795 (1,2) - why do you need 2 slider ticks on 1? you can blanket 2 too. but what i would do is move 2 over to the right, then blanket 4 and 5 with 1 (to prevent overlap) i dont see the problem here. I blanketed tho.
00:33:037 (6,7) - adjust these too if you blanketed 4 and 5 with 1
00:39:761 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7) - you could try rotating the circles clockwise around the tail of 1, so it looks more 'straight' and/or reverse the circle order for better flow
00:44:933 (1,2) - improve blanket This is fine the way it is.
00:45:968 (1,2) - make 2 a horizontal flip clone of 1
00:48:726 (3,4) - blanket?
00:52:519 (1,3) - stack on the tail of 1, adjust the rest of notes as needed
00:53:554 (5,1,2,3) - might be because of the stack, but looks like blanket can be better
00:55:623 (7) - add finish
01:05:968 - y u no map dis
01:06:657 (1,2) - blanket
01:03:899 (1,2,3,4,1) - map the half-beats?
01:07:864 (8) - try stacking under 01:06:657 (1), move 01:09:244 (9) too
01:09:244 (9,4,5,6,1,2) - dont overlap can someone explain to me why this is so bad? what is wrong with this?
01:10:795 (1,3) - you can modify the shape of 1 so that it also blankets 3 i could, but i dont want to
01:15:623 (3) - stack under tail of 1 maybe it would ruin the distance
01:16:313 (1,2) - blanket
01:24:588 (1,5) - no overlap once again i do not see the problem. with this ar the 1 wont be visible anymore by time you see the 5.
01:28:726 (1,2) - make 2 a horizontal flip clone of 1
01:32:864 (1,2,3,4) - make the overlap between each slider the same (move 2 and 4 away from 3)
01:36:657 (5) - move up and right so its better connected to 4
01:41:830 (4,5) - blanket
01:42:519 (1,5) - stack
02:02:692 (6) - no overlap / stack
02:04:588 (1,3,4,5) - stack
02:06:657 (5) - 02:07:347 (1) - no overlap
02:12:864 (1) - are 2 ticks necessary? yes it is an anchor
02:12:864 - 02:23:382 the patterns in here feel very disconnected. eliminate any unnecessary overlaps. Suggestions: stacking/blanketing/continuing the flow of the last slider im fine with the way these are...
02:34:157 - doesnt seem logical to skip a note just so you can make a jump, add circle here and bring back 1 it makes it feel awkward to play imo
02:40:278 (1,2) - stack properly it is?
02:45:968 (1) - shape looks kinda meh, do what Lumael attached
02:54:244 (2,3,4,5) - make consistent overlap distances
02:57:002 (1,2) - blanket
02:59:761 (1,2) - separate more
03:18:382 (5) - using this shape just doesnt feel right, cuts off the flow what flow? its the end of the chorus lol
03:31:830 (2,3) - no overlap
03:41:140 (1) - dont need 2 ticks it does
03:41:140 (1) - 03:51:657 - patterns feel very disconnected im fine with them
04:14:071 - map this note? nah
04:25:278 - 04:52:175 - patterns disconnected -_-

So basically...
-perfecting blankets and blanketing more often will make your patterns look more neat
-eliminate any unintentional overlaps, make overlap DS consistent so it looks intentional
-slider shape and flow should be corrected especially in the slow sections

Good luck!

FCL wrote:

M4M from your queue

• [General]

1. Delete "electronic" from tags. it is not necessary
2. Delete this
3. Where hitsounds? If you do not know how to use them, then I think this guide will help you t/306177
4. OD +1

• [Alone]

1. okay, I'll try to help you with claps
   Use claps on these bits:
   00:11:830
   00:12:347
   00:12:519
   00:13:209
   00:13:726
   00:13:899
   00:14:588
   00:15:106 (6,7,8) -
   00:15:623 and further according to the algorithm
2. 00:43:037 (1,1,2,1,2,1) - idk why do you there increase the spacings
3. 00:44:588 and 00:44:761 - do not skip those bits, otherwise map feels uncomfortable
4. 00:50:106 and 00:50:278 - too
5. 01:05:278 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9) - imo, I do not like this form. My suggestion i like thw way it is
   
6. 01:07:002 (2) - Circle is too close to the slider. I think there need a jump, because there is a strong share
7. 01:10:278 (4,5,6,1,2) - avoid this overlap
8. 01:11:657 (4) - stack tail with 01:12:519 (2) -
9. 01:17:002 (3) - its unrankable slider, lol im pretty sure it isnt unrankable... ive seen something similar in may ranked maps
10. 01:28:037 (1) - again
11. 02:12:864 (1,2,3,1,2,3,1,2,3,1,2,3) - This part can be made more interesting. Hold the maps as an example https://osu.ppy.sh/s/280089 (00:00:610 - 01:41:110) https://osu.ppy.sh/b/676445 (03:57:542 - 04:19:485)
12. 02:04:588 (1,3,4,5) - stack
13. 02:33:554 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7) - similarly, I do not like this form
14. 03:41:140 (1,2,3,1,1,2,1,2,1,2) - ^^
15. 04:13:554 (3) - unrankable

I think that you understand that above this map needs more work. Good luck!

KASUM1 wrote:

Hello~! As requested from my queue

General

1. There should only be one .osb file in a folder (this folder has 2). "I think?" thank you!!

Alone

1. 00:28:037 (1,2) - fix this blanket
2. 00:31:657 (2,5) - this is weird try to blanket
3. 00:33:554 (1,2,3,4,5) - 00:36:140 (1,2,3,4,5,6) - 00:37:519 (1,2,3,4,5,6) - ctrl+shif+s and make it 1.5 " suggestion"
4. 00:44:416 - 00:44:588 - missing notes
5. 00:45:623 - add a cirlce on 00:45:968 (1) -
6. 00:50:106 -00:51:140 - 00:51:313 - missing notes
7. 00:52:864 (2,3) - fix blanket
8. 01:06:657 (1,2) - ^
9. 01:32:864 (1,2,3,4) - overlap and touching each other , I don't like them (imo)
10. 01:35:623 (1,4) - this overlap is not intentional
11. 01:37:002 (1,4) - ^
12. 01:41:830 (4,5) - make it more neater
13. 01:49:416 (1) - starts here 01:49:416 - ends here 01:50:451 -
14. 01:50:795 - add a circle here
15. 02:02:433 (4) - I can't hear any rhythm here delete it
16. 02:03:813 (4) - ^
17. 02:05:192 (4) - ^
18. 02:07:951 (4) - ^
19. 02:09:330 (4) - ^
20. 02:10:709 (4) - ^
21. 02:18:382 (1,2,1,2) - these sliders are weird
22. 02:24:416 (2,3) - delete these
23. 02:37:692 (2,3) - fix blanket
24. 02:40:451 (2,3) - ^
25. 02:54:244 (2,3,4,5) - I mentioned this before
26. 03:07:347 (5) - weird slider
27. 03:07:864 - add a circle here
28. 03:40:968 - ^
29. 03:43:899 (1,1,1,3,1,2) - mentioned this before
30. 04:18:382 (1,3) - blanket this
31. 04:52:864 (1) - starts here 04:55:623 -
    
    That's all , good luck with that