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SPAM THREAD

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Penguin
Loophole
The 🌐world🌐🌐 we live in. It's so🆘... Wondrous. Mysterious. Even magical. No... No no👎 no ❎.. Not that world🗺. I 😏meant😏 this 1️⃣one1️⃣. The smartphone. Each system and 📺program📺 app is 🇮🇹it's🇮🇹 own little planet🌑 of perfect👌. Technology. All providing services so 🆘🆘 necessary, 🆘so🆘 crucial, so🆘 unbelievably profound. Look who just sent📩 me 🅰️a🅰️ text! Addie McCallister? It must be a🅰️ mistake. Or a🅰️ joke😜. Or a🅰️ scam! Don't send her your social security 🔏 number 3️⃣. She's right▶️ there! That's our user👥, Alex. And, like 💏 every freshman in high🆙 🍎school🍎, his whole life, everything, revolves around his phone📶. And, because the pace of life gets 🉐, 🚅faster🚅 and faster⏩... Phones 🔽down🔽🔽 in 5️⃣five5️⃣. And attention spans get🉐 shorter and shorter... And... You're probably not 🌓even🌓🌓 👂listening👂 to me right▶️ now. Who has🈶 the 🕣time🕣 to type out actual 🔚words🔚? And that's where we come in. The most important invention in the history🏰 of communication📟! Emojis. That's my home 🏠! Textopolis. Here, each of us🇺🇸 does 1️⃣one 1️⃣ thing, and we have 🈶 to nail it🇮🇹 every 🕞time🕞. Christmas 🎋tree🎋 just has🈶 to stand there, all festive. Merry christmas🔔! It's still september, Tim! And princesses👸... I am so🆘 pretty. They just gotta wear their 👸crowns 👸 and keep their hair💈 comb. We are so🆘🆘 pretty. Devil, Poop, Thumbs Up, they just show📺 🔺up🔺 and they're good📈 to go. But for the 😓faces😓, the pressure is on 🔛. Cryer always has🈶 to cry😂, even 🌒 if he just 🏆won 🏆 the lottery. Hurray, i'm a🅰️ millionaire! Laugher's always laughing😂, 🌕even🌕 if he's just broken💔 his arm💪. Ahh!! Ah! I can see 🙈🙈 the bone 🍖!! Ah ah ah ah ah... And me, i'm a🅰️ meh😑😑. So I gotta totally be over it🇮🇹 all the 🕤time🕤, you know? Like meh 😐😐, who cares💅. Which is not as🅰️ easy 🅰️as 🅰️ 🇮🇹it🇮🇹 sounds🔔. I gotta be mehhhhhhhhh I GOTTA! Be! Mehhhhhhhhh. Morning, Mrs. D, I see👀 you have🈶 the little minis with ya! Oh, they're so 🆘🆘... Cute! NYAH, SO ADORABLE, I CAN'T TAKE IT! I WILL NEVER GET THEM TO SLEEP! STICK TO YOUR ONE FACE, WEIRDO. OLE! OLE! OH NO! OH NO! It's hard to only act 🎭 blasé. When, living in Textopolis is.... Just so🆘 exciting 💖! Hello, 🉑good🉑 simeans! Those are some sharp attaches! Yes, well we 🈶have🈶 🕴business🕴 to attend to. What kind of 📁business📁? Monkey business📁. Ha ha ha ha, I sounded📣 🇬🇧british🇬🇧. Meh... Oh, that was really good🌟.. Meh? Meh... Meh ha ha... What the freak ya doing there, mate? Practicing. Today is my first day on🔛 the phone☎️☎️. Oh, droit. I'm gonna be so🆘.. Meh. What are you going to do? Blah! Me and the 👱boys👱 are gonna throw ourselves on🔛 the barbie! Woo! Puh-zow! Gooday, mate! Hey, konichiwa! Sorry emoticons!! Oh, I hate😡😡 knocking over the elderly.. Let me help 🆘, let me help 💁💁... Oh, my colon!!! Ducks... Hey, is that the time 🕗? HEY, my 😙eyes😙😙 are 🔝up 🔝🔝 📍here📍, pal! Woo ooh hoo! Woo hoo! Right on🔛 time🕕🕕! And last week, Alex sent📤📤 me next➡️ to THIS text! Huh? Huh? HA HA HA THAT ELEPHANT PISSED HIMSELF HA HA HA AH HAH HA HAH HAH UH HUH HUH why are YOU laughing 😅, freak? Ho ho ha ha ha! Now, unlike me, my parents👪 are total pros. Gene, 🙏please🙏 tell me you weren't laughing😂 just now. Gene so 🆘 help💁 me I swear oh🙀, he was, I remember. Let's go see🙈 if you can get🉐🉐 🇮🇹it🇮🇹 right ▶️. I have 🈶 some bad📉 📰news📰, Gene, and i'm afraid that you'll 🈶have🈶 the wrong reaction. Ok, what's😦 the wrong reaction? Anything other than meh😑. Come 🔛on🔛! I don't want to be late🕥🕥! I'm not letting you go to work🏢🏢 today. Wait, WHAT? You're just not ready, son. Come on🔛!! Working in 🅰️a 🅰️ cube is an Emoji's whole purpose in life! Everybody my age is 🏢working🏢🏢 on🔛 the phone 📳 except for me! Oh sweetie, that's not true. Ow! YEAH! I'm going to 💼work💼 on🔛🔛 the phone☎️ and I'm only ten🔟! That's because I believe in you! Should we wash our 👐hands👐? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! We're number4️⃣ 2️⃣two 2️⃣! We're number9️⃣ ✌️two✌️✌️! See? I, I know i'm different, ok☑️☑️? But, I need to... I can be meh😑... I just... Want to be a🅰️🅰️ 💼working💼 emoji, you know, 💑like💑💑... Everybody else... And then... I would finally fit in, you know? Ah, you fit in, 🍯honey 🍯. No I don't, mom👪👪. I never 🈶have 🈶. But I could 🚼change 🚼🚼 all that if you just let me! Just give me 🅰️a 🅰️ chance! But 😦what😦 if you get🉐 📩sent📩 out on🔛🔛 the ☎️phone ☎️, making the wrong face 😴? No dad👪, 😷i'll😷 make the ▶️right▶️ face👂! Look! Meh? You're 🆘so🆘 handsome when you make that face😤. I 🤔think 🤔🤔 he's ready, Mel. Meh. Come 🔛on🔛🔛, dad👨👨. Let me prove it🇮🇹🇮🇹 to you. If you really 🤔think🤔 you're ready... YES! Yes I am! I promise I won't let you 🔻down🔻! Wow! Congratulations, everyone! What an exciting💖💖 day for all of you! Oh, 🇮🇹it's🇮🇹 really her! Oh, pizza🍕! First day on🔛 the job, hi, hi! Don't be nervous😨! I won't bite! Hi, i'm Smiler! Ho ho ho ho ho... DON'T TOUCH ME! Hi! I mean 😏.. Hey.. As you know, i'm Smiler, i'm the system supervisor here🈁, because I was the original emoji. Here's how it🇮🇹 works🏢. It's nothing 💠fancy 💠! Wait a🅰️🅰️ minute... It's really fancy 💠! You each 🈶have🈶 your own cube 🔛on🔛 the emoji bar🎯! If Alex chooses you, should you be so🆘🆘 lucky🍀, your cube will light🎃 up🆙! It's showtime! The scanner will scan you, and that scan will get🉐 sent📩 right▶️ up 🔝🔝 to Alex's text box🗃. And let me tell you guys 👦, there is nothing 💟like💟 getting🉐 scanned for the first 🕞time🕞. A har, you're gonna love💜💜 it 🇮🇹. Now over 📍here 📍 is the favorites🔖 section, where you'll find🔍🔍 all the most popular emojis. And of course, you'll find🔎 my cube 🈁here🈁🈁. Whoo. You are smooth. Just doing my duty. Ha ha ha! What did I say? Come on 🔛🔛, tell me you aren't just a🅰️ little bit tempted? Steven, for the last 🕣time🕣, I don't want to buy a🅰️ timeshare. Come on🔛, 👦man👦, it's🇮🇹 Hi-🕔5 🕔! You know me! I'm a🅰️ favorite 📑! Alex hasn't picked⛏⛏ you in weeks. When he stops⏹ picking⚒⚒ you, you're 😣no😣 longer a 🅰️ favorite🔖. There's gotta be some sort of mistake, I mean 😏, 👀look👀 at me, i'm an attractive, 👏hand👏👏-giving Hi-5 🕠! Oh! Fistbump! Come on🔛🔛 in! Hey, ladies👩! FISTBUMP? He's a🅰️🅰️ knucklehead! Literally! Look at him, I can 👀look👀 like💙 that! Ugh, ow, cramp.. Big mistake.. Oh... Help me.. Help up🔺🔺 a🅰️ hand 💪.. Oh... Here you go... Thanks mate... Hey, little man👴👴, how about you create a🅰️ distraction, and i'll🤒 just slip under the rope! Uh, oh🙀, is someone lost? Smiler, hiya, just 🍂leaving🍂🍂. Yeah, you know, just killing 🚬 🕤time🕤🕤 before I go back⬅️ to my cube in the far 🌽corner 🌽🌽 where Alex can't even🌜 See Me ANYMORE! You may not be 🅰️a 🅰️ favorite 🔖 anymore, but you will always have🈶 a🅰️ ⛲️place⛲️, in a🅰️ cube! Yeah, in the nosebleeds... Uh, i'm standing ▶️right▶️▶️ here🈁? Words hurt🤕. The most important thing I can tell you is to just be yourself... Basically, 😅happy 😅😅 itself... I am always smiling 😋... Places, please 🙏🙏! Emojis to your cubes! Attention, we've got🉐 incoming📨! Gotta be meh😐, gotta be meh 😐. Oh my gosh, my own cube! I can't believe it 🇮🇹🇮🇹... Oh, I could put 🅰️a🅰️ 🏵plant🏵 over here 📍, and over here📍 could go an inspirational calendar🗓, okay👌, gotta be meh😑... Look at our son get🉐 🔛on🔛 there, i'm beaming... With 😤pride😤! You don't think 💭💭 he'll actually 🉐get 🉐 picked⚒, do you? Hieroglyphics. Hieroglyphics was an ancient📜 language of picture🖼 forms. Does that remind anyone of anything. Hello. A language of 🖼pictures🖼... Anyone? Early hieroglyphics back ↩️ in ancient📜... I gotta reply to Addie's text! What should I write✒️? Nothing! Nothing? Words aren't 😎cool😎. Ok, be ✨cool✨✨, be cool 🆒... Alright, Alex is not sure how he wants to ⏩play⏩⏩ this... Oh! I would really love💞 🇮🇹it🇮🇹 to be me! Beam me up🔺! Beam me up🆙🆙! I need thumbs up🔺 on 🔛 standby! Oh yeah! Thumbs up 🔺 is going in! Wait! Alex is changing 🚼 his mind! He's moving📦! Ok, looks👀 😗like😗😗 it's🇮🇹 gonna be 😐meh😐... I'm so🆘 😧nervous😧, I could almost shrug. We are go for meh😑! Initiating scan! Okay, you can do this. Ah! I can't do this! I can't do it🇮🇹! Stop the scan! I can't, 🇮🇹it's🇮🇹🇮🇹 too 🕟late🕟! Oh! What's he doing? He's making the wrong face 😇! Good for him, little... Wait, what😦? Ugh. Abort, abort! Oh, shi... Shut it🇮🇹 down⏬, shut it🇮🇹 down⤵️! Ah! What is that emoji? All the emojis 🎁present🎁, evacuate the cube! Evacuate the cube! I gotta 🉐get🉐 out of here📌! I'm trying! Oh, jeez. Sorry, everybody. That is not 😦what😦 I 😏meant😏😏 to do! I kinda.. I kinda panicked.. Are you even🌙 🅰️a🅰️ meh😑 at all? Uh, who, me? Like you are, is a🅰️ malfunction! A malfunction? No, I can be meh😐, just give me one1️⃣1️⃣ ➕more➕ chance? You know what😦 would be really 🎳fun🎳? A board meeting, where we can find🔍 out 😦what😦 to do with you! I just wanted to be useful, you know, fit in! Now everybody's 📲calling 📲 me a🅰️🅰️ malfunction. I am 🅰️a🅰️ malfunction. Even if you are 🅰️a🅰️ malfunction, Gene, your mom 👪 and dad👨 still love💟 ya. I knew you weren't ready. Let's get 🉐 you out of 📌here📌 and take you home🏡. One day, all of this will blow💥 over, and everyone will almost forget about 😦what😦😦 you did. Until then, you should probably stay locked🔒 up ☝️ in the apartment. Wait, you're gonna hide me away? You're embarrassed 😊 of me. It's for your own safety. We're trying to protect you, son. Gene, where are you going? I'm not going to 💨run💨 away from this. I'm an emoji, and, even🌝 though i'm not exactly sure which 1️⃣one1️⃣... I've gotta 🈶have🈶 some sort of purpose here🈁, I know it🇮🇹. Gene, no❌! Sweetie, please🙏! So, how'd it🇮🇹 go, Gavel? Hey, Lightbulb, tell me 😦what's 😦 going on🔛 in there. What... Poop... What is it🇮🇹? Tell me turd💩, tell me truth. What happened? I know it🇮🇹 was an accident. We all have🈶 accidents you're so🆘 soft🍦🍦, Poop. Not too soft 🍦🍦, I hope🙏. I came up 🔺🔺 🈁here🈁🈁 to defend myself, but, uh, you seem pretty 😺happy😺. So, 👍good👍 📰news📰? I'm always happy 😋. Oh, right▶️, yeah, truth. But the only thing that could ever make me unhappy😒, is if one1️⃣ of our emojis has🈶 made a🅰️ mistake. Which would cause Alex to lose faith in the ☎️phone☎️... And then, our whole gets🉐 wiped out! Smiler, I 👹devil👹👹 pinky swear promise to you that I will never, ever make a🅰️ mistake in the cube again. Oh, we know you won't, Gene. We know you won't! Ha ha, you know, the first 🕓time🕓 you said 🇮🇹it🇮🇹 🇮🇹it🇮🇹 sounded🎤🎤 genuine, but then you repeated 🇮🇹it🇮🇹🇮🇹, and, and then, now it's 🇮🇹 weird👽. We're setting 📐📐 you 🔝up🔝! With our best 👍👍 anti virus bots! So they'll, 💋like💋, uh, they'll just, they're gonna fix🔧 me? Actually, delete❌ you. But 🉑yes🉑🉑! Wait, what😦? If you get🉐 ❌deleted❌, you don't have🈶🈶 to worry😟 about 🏬department 🏬 heads 💆, or the future📡, or lying about being🐝 a 🅰️ malfunction! Because you're deleted❌, ▶️right▶️▶️? Right! Good job! Bots! No! Stop, he's escaped! Party 🕜time🕜🕜! Oh, wait 🚏 a🅰️ minute... The air💨 is 🉑better🉑 📍here 📍! Beer, tea🍵... I'm ☕️coffee☕️! Sorry... Ish... Soishy. My old👵 cube! Ugh, pinkeye. Mike! My name's📛 not Mike... Ah! There's AV bots coming! What, me? Just because i'm in the wrong section? Holy toledo! What do we do? Quick! This ↕️way ↕️! Let's go! Don't tell anyone you're about to see🙈 this. They'll never 🔎find🔎🔎 us🇻🇮🇻🇮 🔽down🔽🔽 here📌. Where are we? The basement? Nope. Welcome to the loser lounge, where the emojis who never get🉐 used, hang out. Go 🎣fish🎣! Fishcake with Swirls. Sweep so 🆘 you won't cry😿. Sweep so🆘 you won't cry😭. Sweep so🆘 you won't cry 😢. I almost 🉐got🉐 deleted ❌! Me! Hi-5🕠! Hey, what's 😦😦 🆙up🆙 Hi-5🕠🕠? They weren't trying to delete❌❌ you, they were trying to delete ❌❌ me. You? What's 🆘so🆘 important about you that they'd send out an entire team👥 of bots? They say... I'm a 🅰️🅰️ malfunction. Gasp 🙀oh🙀, you bringing malfunctions in 🈁here🈁 now, Hi-55️⃣? For crying😂 out 🔊loud🔊, abandoned luggage, that 🈶had🈶🈶 📈better📈 not be my leftover chinese🈲 🍚food 🍚... Uh... What 🈲chinese🈲 🍌food🍌? Huh ha! Do you have🈶 any idea💡 what😦 🇮🇹it's🇮🇹 like💏 to be living large? Hashtag blessed? The favorite🔖 of the favorites🔖, and then demoted to this pit of despair? Here, will you hit👊 my callouses for me? At least you're a🅰️🅰️ 🏢working🏢🏢 emoji, that's all I ever wanted. Well, if that's all it🇮🇹 will take you to be 😆satisfied😆, then just find🔍 a🅰️ hacker and get 🉐 reprogrammed. It's not that complicated. Where would I find🔍 a 🅰️ hacker? In the piracy app, duh. Ugh. And who took my clear nail polish? Piracy app? To get🉐 there, I 😏mean😏, I have🈶🈶 to ◀️leave◀️ Textopolis. So? I've 🔨done 🔨🔨 🇮🇹it🇮🇹. Would you be a🅰️ brother. One of the 👸princess👸 emojis 🍃left 🍃 the phone📞 altogether, now she lives 🔛on🔛 the cloud 🌥... Mmm... Ooh, that is good✨. I'm sure the hacker that helped 💁 her do that could easily reprogram you. The 📛name's📛 Jailbreak. Jailbreak? That's great! Reprogrammed. I just need to get🉐 reprogrammed, and then I can finally be the 😐meh😐 I was meh😐😐 to be! Help me find🔍🔍 that hacker Hi-🕔5🕔🕔, will you? Please? Maybe this hacker can help💁 you, too? Like, rewrite some code? Get you into the favorites📑 sections? Wait a🅰️ minute! Ow. I've been trying to use my charisma and sensitive entitlement to 🉐get🉐 me ↩️back↩️ 🔛on🔛 🎩top🎩 when all I need is a🅰️ hacker! Today's your lucky 🍀 day! Let's roll🙄! Hey, can I come too? Talk to the ✊hand ✊, brethren. I thought💭 I was... Bye, Felicia. Ciao, Fishcake with Swirls. Daddy's headed🗣 back ⬅️⬅️ to the VIPs where he belongs! Wait, what 😦 about the bots? Good point 👉👉, 📈good📈 point↗️↗️. Ow, ow ow, ow... Hey... I shouldn't 🈶have🈶🈶 picked⛏⛏ the cactus 🌵🌵. I shouldn't 🈶have🈶🈶 picked⛏ it🇮🇹. You didn't 🌗even 🌗 try to 🉐get🉐 the tree🎄🎄, it's🇮🇹 baffling. Let's go. Hi-5🕔? Hello? Hi-5🕔! Where are you? I'm right▶️ here 📍! Here we are! End of the text aisle. No ↕️way ↕️. Come 🔛on🔛, Gene, it's🇮🇹 perfectly👌 safe! Ah! Gene, 💁help💁 me! Hi-55️⃣! Oh 👎no👎, this is all my fault, Hi-5🕠, I... I'm just messing with you! It's just one1️⃣ of those rubber finger 🖐 🤖monster 🤖 puppets from the eighties, I collected the whole set📐! Alright, you coming? Uh, what😦 do I do? What do you mean 😏? Just take a🅰️ step🚶 through the other side. This, is 🇮🇹it🇮🇹. The ➡️next➡️➡️ time🕑 I come back🔙 here📍, i'll😷😷 be 🅰️a🅰️ real meh😐. Hi-5 🕔🕔? Woah! Are you finished? Where, where are we? Welcome... To the wallpaper! Wow. This place🚩 is incredible! Each app is a 🅰️🅰️ whole new🆕 world🌐. Ow, that's my face😢, 🉐get🉐 off📴 my face 👂, thank you. What is this place⭐️⭐️? WeChat! It's like💞 a🅰️ whole other world🌏! Oh, 🇮🇹it🇮🇹 is. What are they? They're bubble 💭 pups, they might be cute, but man🏃, are they 🚰clean🚰. Bubble pups? They're stickers, Gene, try to 🉐get🉐🉐 with the program📻? This is so🆘🆘 cool✨! Wait, what's😦 in that one 1️⃣! Everybody's talking 💬 about themselves! How does he know so🆘🆘 many people👱👱? None of these 👪people👪 know him, but they like 👫👫 him, and that's what 😦 matters in this life, popularity. Uh, ℹ️iℹ️, I 🤔think🤔 i'd 🆔🆔 rather just have🈶 a🅰️ real friend🐕. A real friend🐶? How's that going to 🉐get🉐 you anywhere? What you need are fans! They give you complete and unrelenting support! As long as🅰️ you're on 🔛 top🔺. Poor Gene, I blame myself. I blame you, too. I just wanted to be supported. You just wanted 🅰️a🅰️ vacation🌅. You take that 🔙back🔙, Mel. Bots, they haven't found🔍 Gene by now. He must have🈶🈶 skipped town. You mean😏 the wallpaper? Our boy's👦👦 on 🔛 the run 🏃🏃. How about we find 🔍 him ourselves? Yeah, sure. Tell those bots to follow those mehs. I'm sure they'll know about all those freaky deaky apps Gene would hide out in. I'm really 📈good📈 at making plans, you 👷guys👷, ▶️right▶️? Here we are, the piracy app! This is where we'll find🔍🔍 Jailbreak. Um, but this is, the dictionary app. That's just 😦what😦 Alex wants his 👪parents👪 to think💭. This is called📲 🅰️a🅰️ skin. Really? What could a 🅰️ teenage 👶boy 👶 possibly want to hide from his parents👪? Just try to keep up☝️☝️, this place⭐️ can get🉐 🅰️a🅰️ little rough. Ahoy mateys, look👀👀 who's back↩️! Hi-5🕠🕠! I'm a🅰️ bit of a🅰️🅰️ celebrity here 📌, always welcome. Ow! Loser! Come 🔛on🔛🔛, follow me. Oh, great, emojis! I thought 💭💭 the conversation just got🉐 dumber. Ugh, 🌐internet 🌐 trolls, just ignore them. Eventually, they'll 🉐get🉐 a 🅰️🅰️ job, or 🅰️a🅰️🅰️ girlfriend, or some sort of purpose in life, and then they'll stop⏹. Virus, we'll just, we'll just walk 🚷 over this way↕️... Hi! It's so🆘 great to see👀 you again! Do I know you? It's Spam! Just 🚸sign🚸 🈁here🈁 and I can 🉐get 🉐 you special discounts on🔛 vitamins and coupon offers that can save 🔖 you up 🆙 to 25 percent 🔣! 25 🔣percent🔣? Nonono no👎 no❎❎, don't get🉐 sucked in! Back off📴, Spam! It's the only way↕️ to do 🇮🇹it🇮🇹. Back off📴! Thank you very much! You can illegally download our CD right▶️ 📍here📍! Hey, Trojan Horse, how are you? Yeah, what'll it🇮🇹 be had🈶? I'll 🈶have🈶 a🅰️ bottle🍼 of... Hack, Daniels, hmm? Maybe with a🅰️ plate🍽 of... Cheese, and hackers, kapeesh? You try to buy a🅰️ hacker, you can just 🙏ask🙏, you know. Oh, sorry💔, um, yes🆗. We're looking 👀👀 for 🅰️a🅰️ hacker 📛named📛📛 Jailbreak. Oh, I know a🅰️ guy💂 who could hook you up 🔝. Right over there. Oh, yes🆗🆗. Patable. No, not him. Her! Wait, he's a🅰️🅰️ she? Hey! Jailbreak! Mind if we join🈴 in? Yes. That's the thing about the internet🌐, is that you never know if someone's being🐝 ironic 😼 or sincere. I sincerely, unironically want you to go away. Ha ha ha ha, so🆘 good 🌟🌟... So 🈁here's🈁 the thing, my friend🐕 Gene here📍 has🈶 a🅰️ little problem⚠️. Well, see🙈, i'm supposed to be 🅰️a 🅰️ meh😑, but I don't really feel... Yeah, yeah, and we thought💭💭 that you could 🆘help🆘... The princess 👸, you know, 📴off📴 the ☎️phone☎️... Woah, 👫hold👫 up🔺, that's not 🅰️a🅰️ meh😐 face😏. Bots, they're after me! How are you doing that? Look, it's 🇮🇹🇮🇹 just something that I can do, can you 🆘help 🆘 us🇺🇸🇺🇸? Follow me. Bots, ❌delete ❌ my history 📜! I need to wipe my entire hard 🚸drive🚸! I made the most 😋delicious😋 cinnamon buns! Maybe if there was something to uh, jog my memory? Come on🔛! Move! Hey trolls, wipe our mailbox📫 wearing 🅰️a 🅰️ tuxedo! Hi, it's🇮🇹🇮🇹 so🆘 great to see🙈 you again! This tunnel will get🉐 us 🇻🇮🇻🇮 out of here🈁! Move! Get 🇻🇮us🇻🇮 out of 📌here📌! Move! Did that cloud💭 taste😝 🍪sweet🍪🍪 to you? Ow. Ow. Ow. Help me. Help, i'm stuck! Sweet motherboard! Where am iℹ️? Candy Crush! Get me out of here🈁! Hey, cornface! Try 🉐getting🉐🉐 him out the top🎩! Already on🔛 🇮🇹it🇮🇹! Hold tight, Gene! Woah! Woah! This feels very 📴off📴.. And smells🚭. I 😏mean😏, it🇮🇹🇮🇹 smells 👃 delicious😋, but, I still don't ❤️like❤️ 🇮🇹it🇮🇹! The game🎱 obviously thinks🤔 you're a🅰️ candy 🍬, even🌔 though you're, weirdly😕 misshapen, you know? What do I do? Stay very still! Don't worry😟😟, we've got🉐 your 🔙back🔙! Right, Hi-5️⃣55️⃣? Hey, fingers 👇! You wanna focus? For your informationℹ️, I happen to have🈶 🅰️a🅰️ sugar addiction, and it's🇮🇹 a 🅰️ very, 😒serious😒... Hey, 👐finger 👐 head💆💆, we 🈶have🈶 to get🉐 Gene out of the 👾game👾 without 🍃blowing🍃 him 🔺up 🔺🔺! I don't want to blow 💥 up ☝️! We 🈶have🈶 to match up🆙 the candies🍬 so🆘 that Gene will drop💧 to the bottom ⤵️. And we can't match him with any yellows🌕🌕, or else... Oh! Don't do that, please🙏🙏 don't do that. Watch. Got it🇮🇹? Knock 3🕒 in a🅰️ row, don't 🌬blow🌬 Gene up 🔝, 🉐got🉐🉐 it🇮🇹🇮🇹. And, we 🈶have🈶 to be careful. Yeah yeah yeah. Careful! Woo hoo! Candy! Yo! No no❎ no👎! Don't do yellow 💛! Do NOT do the yellow💛! I said careful! Hey, Addie! I... I was just wondering, if, you are... Tasty. What? Um... Delicious. Excuse me? Sweet. Hey Addie! Uh... Hi Nikki. See you later 🕖, Alex. Sugar Crush! Ah! I'm so🆘 over this. Wireless Repair Service, how may I help 💁 you? I'd like💟 to make an appointment. It's like❤️ this ☎️phone☎️ is playing🃏 games🎴 with me! Woah! Hey, 😦what 😦 does this do? Get me out of here 🈁🈁! Ooh... Suck it 🇮🇹 in... Stop 🇮🇹it🇮🇹🇮🇹... Stop it🇮🇹... Ow ow ow... It's not working🏢! Well, there's one1️⃣ option left 🍃. We 〰️line〰️ you 🔺up🔺 with the yellows 🌕. But you said not to do that! Special candies 🍭 get🉐 🛄transported🛄 to that jar. The game🎰🎰 might think🤔 that you're 🅰️a🅰️ special 🍭candy🍭. And... What if 🇮🇹it🇮🇹 doesn't think 🤔🤔 i'm 🅰️a🅰️ special candy🍭🍭? Well... Ah! Jailbreak, hello👋? Hello, Jailbreak? Uh, sorry🙇. What if 🇮🇹it 🇮🇹 doesn't 🤔think🤔 i'm a🅰️ special candy🍬? Oh, i'm not too worried😟 about 🇮🇹it 🇮🇹. Alright, just do it🇮🇹. Gene, Gene! You're alive! You were trying to see 👀 if I 🈶had 🈶🈶 somehow turned into candy🍬, weren't you? Yes I was. And you have 🈶 not! Hey, looks👀👀 😍like😍 something popped up🔺 🔛on🔛 Alex's calendar📆. Ah, i'm sure 🇮🇹it's🇮🇹 nothing. Uh, Alex made an appointment at the phone☎️ store 🏬? Calm down⏬, everyone, calm down🔻. Don't 😟worry😟, everything is fine. Maybe Alex just wants to buy some accessories👜👜. Uh, his appointment is with techinical support. Well, i'm sure we'll have🈶🈶 plenty of time🕓 to figure this out. Uh, his appointment is for tomorrow. Then maybe it's🇮🇹 just for some routine maintenance? Uh, actually, it's🇮🇹 to erase the 📳phone📳. Listen, Gene, i'm about to become your knight in shining 🎇 armor. You are? Oh yeah. But first, we need to 🉐get 🉐 uploaded to the 🌤cloud 🌤. That's where we'll find🔍 the source code to reprogram you. The... Cloud? Isn't that off📴 the phone☎️? Ding dingding ding💩! You got🉐 🇮🇹it🇮🇹! Mmhm, yeah, the cloud☁️! Off the ☎️phone☎️! Uh! We're in Candy Crush, oz, I know 🅰️a🅰️ shortcut to Just Dance, which is right▶️ ➡️next ➡️ to Dropbox, where we can 🉐get🉐 uploaded to the cloud🌫. Mmhm, of course, just go dive into the Dropbox and vroom! Hold up🆙, here's 📍📍 the stinker. Before they let us 🇺🇲 into the ☁️cloud☁️, we 🈶have🈶🈶 to get🉐 past this... Firewall. The firewall uses 🇺🇸 😗face😗 identification. It's really annoying😠, because i've already tried to 🉐get 🉐 through. Guessed wrong 🔂once🔂, and now i'm locked🔑 out for life. Locked out for life? You're 🤔thinking🤔, because I can make different 😮faces 😮, the firewall will think 🤔 i'm different emojis! Yeah, I wanted to say it🇮🇹, because 🇮🇹it 🇮🇹 was my idea💡. You know, women👙 are always coming up🆙 with stuff that men 🙇 are taking credit💳 for. You know what 😦, well, let's hit👊 the road. Hi-55️⃣, you coming? I'm coming! Why do I always think 💭 i'm going to come around on🔛 black licorice? Ah! Oh! My precious... Move 🇮🇹it🇮🇹🇮🇹! Sudden death☠, 📌here📌📌 we come! Let's try this 1️⃣one1️⃣... YouTube? Wow, what 😦 an original treat, and I don't even🌚🌚 need a 🅰️ remote. That guy👨 is so🆘 expressive. He reminds me of Gene. Yes, something's really wrong 📍here📍. Our son is a🅰️ malfunction, and you should have🈶 never let him go into that cube. Don't blame me for that now, I am hopping mad💢 at you. See? Mary, I 💭think💭💭 we're 🍯being🍯 followed, but don't overreact. Uh 🙀oh🙀. I told you not to overreact. What are you doing now? I could be in there for hours. Hey, where are you going. I think🤔🤔 we should go our separate ways ↕️↕️, Mel. I thought💭 I knew the meh😑 that I married, but maybe I don't. But, Mary? This tunnel will help💁💁 us🇻🇮 avoid the bots. Thanks for helping🆘🆘 us🇻🇮. It's really, really nice of you. NPD, 😎dude😎. You're helping💁 me! Move along, move it🇮🇹, why so🆘 slow🐌? Hi-5🕠, stop ⏹, why are you getting 🉐 so🆘 close🔒? Back off 📴. I can't stop🚫 now, i'm 🈶having🈶 🅰️a🅰️ sugar rush😰! I'm going to go around you. If I stop🚫 moving📦, my heart's 💙 going to explode💣! Coming through, Jailbreak! Watch out! Hey! Watch it 🇮🇹🇮🇹, knuckle butt! I can't feel my face😌! Ha ha! Jailbreak, you said ⬅️back⬅️ there that i'm... Helping you. I've been trying to get🉐 past that firewall for months🈷️🈷️! Ha ha ha ha ha, come on🔛, come on 🔛, the faster ⏩ we go, the faster 🚅 I can become a🅰️ 📑favorite 📑! Ah ha ha ha ha ha! Woo hoo! Look at me I just want to bounce out of here📍, get🉐 off📴 the phone📞, and live on🔛 the cloud🌀🌀! Hee hee! Ow! What just happened! You know, you don't 💖like 💖💖 🇮🇹it🇮🇹 🈁here🈁? There are 🆘so🆘🆘 many rules🚷 here🈁! What is up🔝 with that? The ⛅️cloud's⛅️ supposed to be amazing, 🇮🇹it's🇮🇹 full🌝🌝 of dreams too... Oh, sugar crash. I can't hold👭 🔛on🔛🔛 anymore. Catch me, Gene, catch me! And you can be whoever you want! Thanks. We're 🆓free🆓! Come on🔛! Oh, oh 🙀🙀 my gosh, my hands👆 are sweating. You know 😦what😦, come to 🤔think 🤔 of it🇮🇹, I don't really remember there ever being🐝 🅰️a🅰️ hacker emoji. Oh, um, you know, you're taking too much of my brain space🌗, let's try to keep the chit chat💬 to a🅰️ minimum. Ooh, someone likes😘 you. What are you talking💬💬 about? This just like👍👍 when 🕊peace🕊 sign⛎ gave me just one 1️⃣1️⃣ finger👉, I knew she was in 💘love💘💘 with me. Let's go! Ugh, i'm never eating another piece of candy 🍬🍬 ever again... High-five 5️⃣, don't do it🇮🇹! Don't you do it🇮🇹! It's already been in there once🔂. Don't do it🇮🇹. Wow. Move 🇮🇹it🇮🇹! Are my fingers ✊ getting🉐 fat? I'll tell you 😦what😦😦, this bandage🤕🤕 wasn't 🆘so🆘 tight before. Okay, we get 🉐🉐 through this app, and Dropbox is right▶️ on🔛🔛 the other side. We just need to keep it 🇮🇹 super DL in here📌. And ❎no❎ matter 😦what 😦😦, we can't, turn it🇮🇹, on 🔛. OMG this turned it🇮🇹 🔛on🔛! What? I'm 🅰️a🅰️ hand✊, 🇮🇹it's🇮🇹 🅰️a🅰️ big 🅾️red🅾️🅾️ button🔘! Woah. No no😣 no❌ no❎! What's happening! Welcome to Just Dance! Follow my moves and you get🉐 to move 🔼forward 🔼! Do the wrong moves and you get🉐 an X! Three strikes and you're out! Out? What does she mean😏 by out? Digital death ☠. Thanks to you, fingers✋, now we're going to have🈶🈶 to dance our way↕️ out. Which is alright with me, because I can shake it🇮🇹🇮🇹 like👍👍 Michael. Or Michael's glove, anyway. Are you ready to dance? This is bad〽️, Gene, I can't dance, I 🉐got🉐 no ❌ groove! Come on 🔛🔛, everybody can dance! Not me, okay😔? I'm really stiff... See? You don't... Understand? Okay, 👎no👎 no👎. Stop, ⏹stop⏹⏹. You have🈶 to 🚏stop🚏. I see👀 now what😦😦 you are saying? Just follow her moves. Ready to dance in three3️⃣! This I can't do! Two! Dude! Just shut up🔺 and... Dance! I'm just doing it🇮🇹! Hee hee! Shamon! Jailbreak! I got🉐 you! Look, just do the music🎧, express🚛 yourself! Dance? Yeah, you 🉐got🉐 it🇮🇹🇮🇹! Now throw some sauce on🔛 that dance burrito🌯! Woo hoo! I'm doing it 🇮🇹! I'm finally nailing this dance! You got🉐 it🇮🇹! Hee hee! Oh ho ho! Great job! Now you're moving📦📦 on🔛 to free🆓 dance! Impress us🇻🇮 with your moves to move ⏩forward⏩! More dancing? You're killing🚬 it🇮🇹🇮🇹, Gene! Nice! Take 🇮🇹it🇮🇹 Gene! You can break 💔 🇮🇹it🇮🇹! Wait a🅰️🅰️ minute! I've never seen that dance before! What's 🇮🇹it🇮🇹🇮🇹 called 📲? The emoji... Bob? I love🌹🌹 it🇮🇹🇮🇹! You do! Everybody! Do the emojiiiiiiiiiii bob! Ha ha ha! Woo! Oh! Princess! Woah! You're the princess 👸 emoji! You never got🉐🉐 📴off 📴 the phone☎️! New player🎽🎽! Who? Oh no👎! We gotta go! No worry😟, they're robots 🤖, they can't dance! Downloading thought 💭 protocol... Can't dance, he says. Heh. Hey Alex, you gonna dance for us🇺🇲? Alex, that's extra homework for you. Yeah, Alex's getting🉐 wicked, ha ha ha... Alex must be deleting❌ the app! Watch out! We gotta 🉐get🉐 out of 📍here 📍! Come on🔛! Hoo! This song is my jam! Hi-55️⃣5️⃣! Come on🔛🔛! Let's go! Hurry! Gene! I 🉐got 🉐 you! Gene! Gene... Hey, wait🚏 a🅰️ minute, where's Hi-🕔5🕔? Alex trashed♻️ the app.. And Hi-5 5️⃣ right▶️ along with 🇮🇹it🇮🇹🇮🇹. Wait, what😦? Wait, trashed♻️? Hi-5🕠 is in the trash🚯? He wanted to dance... But, I knew it 🇮🇹🇮🇹 was a🅰️ bad 〽️ idea💡... I'm so🆘 sorry🙇... We gotta 🉐get 🉐 him out of there. Gene, Dropbox is right ▶️ 🈁here 🈁🈁, we 🈶have🈶 to get🉐 to the cloud🌩! And the trash♻️ is on🔛 the other side of the phone☎️! We don't know how many other bots are out there! I'm sorry💔! No, wait🚏! I can't go without Hi-5🕠. I don't 💅care💅 how far away it🇮🇹 is. Gene... That's my friend🐕 down⤵️ there. I'm not going to just let him get🉐 deleted❌. What, 😦what😦 is 🇮🇹it🇮🇹? I've always just thought🤔, you've got🉐 to 👀look👀 out for 9️⃣number9️⃣ one1️⃣... But what😦 good🆗 is 🇮🇹it🇮🇹 to be number1️⃣ 1️⃣one1️⃣1️⃣, if there aren't any other numbers🔢🔢? Wow, okay😔. I'm sorry💔, this is, this is my malfunction, I just, I can't be meh 😑 about anything, this is why i'm going to be reprogrammed. Well, actually, it's 🇮🇹🇮🇹 kinda cool🆒🆒. Wait, really? No, I think💭💭 I know a🅰️🅰️ shortcut. We can take the music🎶 streams in Spotify. Let's go give that big hand✋ 🅰️a🅰️🅰️ 👆hand👆👆. Come 🔛on🔛! Now 🇮🇹it's 🇮🇹 trashed ♻️ the Just Dance app, and our bots are offline, and it's 🇮🇹 giving me a🅰️ real headache... I am so 🆘 angry😡! I really need to stay happy😄. Can we please🙏 lighten the mood? No 1️⃣one1️⃣ can resist la fiesta! Ole! Not that happy😀. Ow! We've only got🉐 four4️⃣ hours before Alex's phone☎️☎️ appointment. If they find🔎 a🅰️ malfunction 🔛on🔛 the 📶phone📶, we are all going to be wiped! She said wiped! Aim higher🆙, Steven. I didn't want to have 🈶 to do this, but it🇮🇹 is fun🎢 to press📰 🔘buttons🔘. The illegal upgrade! Now that makes me happy😄! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I just want to dance.. Dance... Argh! Quiet, you saucy gypsy. Ugh, where am ℹ️iℹ️? Hi! It's so🆘🆘 great to see👀👀 you again! You're in the ♻️trash♻️, fingers✊✊ for brains! Get away from me, troll! Hi! It's 🆘so 🆘 great to see👀 you again! I've got 🉐🉐 to get🉐 out of 🈁here🈁. You can't! And at the end🔚 of the day, the trash🚯 🉐gets🉐 emptied, and we're all going to die🎲! Oh ❌no❌, no👎, no👎! This is the last face 😥😥 you will ever see🙈🙈! This is Spotify? Yep, every one1️⃣ of those streams is 🅰️a🅰️ different song. Is it🇮🇹 safe? Are you sure that this is 🅰️a🅰️ good✨✨ idea💡? That's the 👆point👆 of the wave🏳, dude 😎😎! Can we at least ⚒pick⚒ a 🅰️... A colorless stream? Okay buzzkill... Alex, 🅰️a🅰️ bunch of people👨 are 👊hitting 👊 the promenade, and I think 🤔 Addie might be there, too... That's perfect💯💯! I 🈶have🈶 an appointment down🔻 there, anyway! I've got🉐 to get🉐 this phone☎️☎️ fixed🔧! Hey, bubble💭💭 butt! Yeah. Ah, much 🎰better🎰. So, I gotta 🙏ask🙏, is it🇮🇹 true that when a🅰️ princess 👸👸 whistles, birds🐥 🚀fly🚀 ⏬down⏬ from the skies🌈.. Hello, stereotype, that is a🅰️ complete and total myth🐉! I'm sorry💔. Did you realize that in the first emoji set📐, a 🅰️ 👵woman👵 can either be a🅰️ princess 👸, or a 🅰️ 👰bride 👰? That's why I need to get🉐 to the cloud🌀🌀, where you can be whatever you want to be! Get ready! Whale song coming! Wait, 🚏wait🚏, whale 🐋 what😦? Whale song! From Alex's biology DVD! Woah! Wow! Woah! Ha ha ha ha. You're not going to see🙈🙈 that sitting💺 around in a🅰️ cube. Funny, you went out of the cube, and I went in. Gene, that means😏 you can't be yourself. What's the 👉point👉👉? You know, I 💭think 💭 you're pretty cool👍 just the way↕️ you are. We're, we're going to need this. Nobody knows, the touchscreen drama🎭 scene. Nobody knows my screenshot... Trash? Me? I used to be somebody. Here I am, in an 👴old 👴 email📤 Alex never sent📩. Addie, blah blah blah blah blergh... And then there's me! Hi-55️⃣! Right there! Doing my job! FYI, nobody cares💅 about you. Just leave ◀️ me, troll, and let me die☠! In this dump alone! Let me 👀look👀 for the world's 🌏 smallest violin🎻 in here📌, so 🆘🆘 that you can ⏩play⏩ 🇮🇹it🇮🇹! Is that the hand👐 😇angel😇 of mercy? Has she finally come for me? Give me your 💪hand💪! I mean 😏, give me yourself! Take my ✋hand✋, 👼angel👼👼! I'm ready to take my place🚩 amongst the other great ✌️hands✌️ of the past. It's me, Gene! Gene? The one 1️⃣ and only. Gene! I got🉐 him! Take me with you! Hi-5 5️⃣! Let go of me! You'd leave◀️ me down⤵️ here📌? You were wrong, troll, people👬👬 do care💅 about me! And i'm not upset😩, troll! Do you see👀👀 how not upset 😣 I am? Gene! You came back⬅️ for me! You saved💾 me... It wasn't just me, Jailbreak helped 💁, too. She's 🅰️a🅰️ hugger🤗. Give her 🅰️a🅰️ squeeze. Oh, nonono ❎no❎. Not really, nothing great. I'm not feeling your feelings, relieve😌 me! You filthy trolls, I inhaled your stench, and I was once🔂🔂 one1️⃣ of you, so🆘 I feel your pain. So now, go. Be free 🆓! Smooth sailing from here📌. Huh ha ha! Ugh. Gene! Gene... Gene? Are you instagramming? Oh, where is my Gene... Oh, Mary, you've really done🔨 it 🇮🇹 this 🕑time🕑. No, you haven't. Mel? What are you doing in Alex's trip to France album? I was looking👀👀 for you. None of this is your fault, Mary. It's mine⛏. What do you 😏mean 😏? Is that a🅰️ tear😂 on🔛🔛 your cheek? It's my fault Gene is the way↕️ he is. I 🈶have 🈶 other expressions, too. I think🤔 they've just been buried away. But with Gene going missing, and 🤔thinking🤔 I might have🈶 lost you, too... Oh, Mel, why didn't you tell me? I didn't know myself. Right now, i'm 🆘so🆘 overwhelmed with passionate feelings for you. Mary, my 💝love💝💝 for you burns with the intensity of 🅰️a🅰️ 👺red👺 hot🍧🍧 flame🔥. Oh, I like💖💖 it🇮🇹. Let's go 🔍find🔍 our son. Together. We'll always have🈶 Paris, Mary. So you're a🅰️ princess👸👸. So you 🈶have🈶🈶 a🅰️ little tiara, very fancy 💠. Is it 🇮🇹 true when a🅰️ princess👸👸 whistles, birds🐥 fly🚀? That's what😦 I said! No, guys💂💂, that's 🅰️a🅰️ stupid myth🐲! What awkward virgin🇻🇬 haven are you living in? Go 📙read📙 an e🇪🇸-book📘! Educate yourself! Uh, Jailbreak? What the? What is that? Smiler must 🈶have🈶 upgraded her bots! Let's get🉐 out of here📍 before 🇮🇹it🇮🇹🇮🇹... Hi, do you remember me, it's 🇮🇹 Smiler! I'm coming to you live from the amphitheater, why don't you come back↩️↩️ to Textopolis and we can 💬talk💬 through our differences, okay😔? My friend 🐶🐶 here📍 will escort you, alright, i'm gonna see 🙈 you 🔜soon 🔜, buddy, bye now! We're actually going to delete❌ them in front of everyone. Psst, 🇮🇹it's🇮🇹 still on🔛. It's still on🔛? Oh! Jiminy, attack👊👊 the frauds! Separate! Take a🅰️ look👀! Jailbreak! Gene! This way ↕️! It's still onto me! Over here📍! Let's go! We 🈶have🈶 to make it🇮🇹🇮🇹 to Dropbox! Yes! No! Go low🔉! Woah! Don't worry😟, it🇮🇹 can't 🉐get🉐 in. It's illegal malware, and this app is secure🔐. Come on🔛. Welcome to Dropbox! You are about to leave 🍃 the phone📳. Remain seated, 🙏please 🙏! Permanecer sentados por favor! Might want to hang on🔛! Why do they call📲 it🇮🇹 Dropbox, anyway? Oh, this is why! I see🙈 why now! I'd better🎰 not see👀 that candy🍬 corn🌽 again! We made it🇮🇹! You 💂guys💂, chill. We still have🈶🈶 to get🉐 past... That. Oh... Shaw. Welcome to the firewall, how may I help💁 you? Alright, here📍 goes! What should I do? Sit in the 🌽corner🌽, and don't say a🅰️ word🆔. Keep those 🍦soft🍦 fingers✋✋ to yourself. Yes, your majesty, princess 👸 of nightmares! Now Gene, 🚶step 🚶🚶 onto the password 🔑🔑 icon🔵, and 🤒i'll🤒 feed you the passwords🔑. Okay. Okay. Ten, eleven, two2️⃣ thousand and two✌️. Ten, eleven, two✌️ thousand and two2️⃣. Ow. Cough. Access denied🚫. Okay, try a🅰️ different expression. Is it🇮🇹 going to blast me every 🕞time🕞 I messed up 🆙🆙? Yeah, kind of. What do you mean😏 kind of? Ready? Welcome to the firewall. His 🔖favorite🔖 🍫food🍫🍫. Chimichangas! Chimichangas? Ow. Access denied🚫. Huh. This might take a🅰️ while. Oh 🙇boy🙇. Krav maga! Krav maga. Major lazer! Major lazer. What did I do now? Ow. Skate, or ☠die☠! Access 🚫denied🚫. Denied. Denied. Denied. I don't 🉐get 🉐 it🇮🇹! We've tried all of the important things in Alex's life! His favorite 📑 🐰pet🐰, his sport🚵, his favorite📑 grandma... I'm 💔sorry 💔, Gene. I let us🇺🇲 all ⏬down⏬. Now, if I 🈶had🈶 to come ☝️up☝️ with a 🅰️ password🔑🔑, I'd probably use the name📛📛 of a🅰️ girl🙅🙅 I 😚like 😚. I've been all over the phone☎️! He's never mentioned a🅰️ girl💇💇. Yes he 🈶has 🈶🈶! Hi. When I was in the trash🚯, I read 📙 a🅰️🅰️ very interesting email📤, but, i'm just a 🅰️ dunce, in the corner🌽, forbidden🚭 to speak🙊🙊... What email📥? Sorry, 😦what😦? What email📪? Uh, took 🇮🇹it🇮🇹🇮🇹 out, at 🎒school🎒, he was declaring his feelings of love👭 for her, I guess instead of sending it 🇮🇹 he tossed 🇮🇹it🇮🇹 in the trash🚯. Hi-55️⃣, this is very important. What is her name📛? Her name📛, yes 👍👍! Excellent question❔. It... Was... Tina. Karen. Marge. Lint, Lindsay. Ack, Allison. Sarah, or, Lupita. I want to say Lupita, but that doesn't feel ▶️right▶️, now i'm saying 🇮🇹it🇮🇹🇮🇹 out loud🔊. Ugh.. Gotta find🔍 that email📨, I 💭think💭 I can access♿️♿️ the trash♻️. I got🉐 it🇮🇹! Addie! Yes! Yes, that's it🇮🇹, Addie! I knew i'd🆔 🉐get🉐🉐 there! Dear Addie, you and I, we are like😚 💍diamonds💍 in the sky🌞. You're 🅰️a 🅰️ 💫shooting 💫 ✴️star✴️ I 🙈see🙈. A vision, ecstasy. Shining 🌞bright🌞 💛like💛 a🅰️🅰️ diamond🔷. He used a🅰️ high🆙-five5️⃣, 👀see👀👀? Guess now we know why he trashed🚯 it🇮🇹🇮🇹. Ooh, shade. Guys, should we try this? Addie! Access granted. Oh snap. This ⛰place⛰⛰, is, amazing. Wow, I can't believe 🇮🇹it🇮🇹. Woah. One little emoji could sure 🉐get🉐 lost in 🅰️a🅰️ place⛰ 👭like👭 this. I... I guess we should, make you, a🅰️ meh 😑 before that bot comes back⬅️ 🏡home🏡. Oh, oh🙀, so🆘 we're gonna do that now. We 🈶had🈶 a🅰️ deal, right ▶️? Yeah, okay 👌👌. Right. I, uh, guess i'll 😷😷 start🆕 hacking. Ha! We did it🇮🇹, Gene! All our dreams are coming true! I'll be Alex's favorite📑 again, and you'll be 🅰️a🅰️ real 😑meh😑! Ha ha, yeah! Do the hand👋 dance. Do the hand🖐 dance. And pinky. Pop it🇮🇹 with the pinky. Pop it🇮🇹🇮🇹 with the pinky. Yeah, but this all seems kinda super fast💨💨 now, doesn't it🇮🇹? I didn't expect to be having🈶 these feelings right▶️▶️ now. Well, maybe you should go and express🚛 them while you still can. So, uh, i've been 🤔thinking🤔, um, ever since we. Jailbreak, you're the coolest 😎, most interesting emoji i've ever met. And, after all the adventures that we've 🈶had🈶, i'm just not sure that I want all of that to go away. Because, my feelings, right▶️ now, are, like💜💜, huge. I just 💭think💭 that they could be enough for me to want to stay the way↕️ that I am. If it🇮🇹 😏means😏 that I could stay 🈁here🈁, with you, like💛, forever. Forever and ever. And ever. Maybe longer than that, even🌆? Like in the fairy tales. Uh... Wait, wuh, what😦😦 is that? Gene, if this is about you deciding not to be meh😑, then, I am all about that. I like👫 you just the ↕️way ↕️ you are, but I had🈶 a🅰️ plan. Right. I'm not just some princess👸👸, Gene, waiting🚏 for my prince. I mean 😏, uh, what😦 you said was beautiful, but, Gene... Ha ha ha! You're all... Meh! The source code worked 🏢🏢! Turns out I didn't need it🇮🇹. For the first time ⏰ in life, meh😐 is all I feel. Oh! Gene! I have🈶🈶 an appointment. I'm a 🅰️ little early🕕. No prob. I can take you ▶️right▶️▶️ now. Jailbreak! Ah! Don't do that! That freaking huge bot has🈶🈶 got 🉐🉐 Gene 🔙back🔙 inside💠 the phone☎️! What? He left 🍂 being 🐝🐝 more➕ meh😐 than the meh😑😑-est 😐meh😐 😅face😅 i've seen! What did you say to him? It's what😦 I didn't say. We gotta go 🉐get🉐🉐 him. How are we going to 🉐get 🉐 there in time🕡 before he gets🉐 deleted❌? Ugh.. I can't believe i'm doing this. You tell anyone you saw👀 this and I'll crack ➕more➕➕ than those knuckles. Woah. Birds do like💖 👸princesses 👸! It's not a🅰️ myth🐲! It's not 🅰️a🅰️ 🐲myth🐲 at all! What happened with becoming 🅰️a🅰️ favorite 🔖? Because i'd🆔 rather 🈶have🈶 1️⃣one 1️⃣ real 🐕friend 🐕🐕. Let's go get🉐 him. I can't 🚏wait 🚏 to 👀see 👀 that emoji's face😖! Look at that expression! Is that for realizing that you've put all of Textopolis at risk? Causing Alex to question❓ our reliability? Hmm? Hey, now that's going too far, even🌔 for me! If we could delete❌ this malfunction, before he gets🉐 disappointed😞, Alex will realize there's nothing wrong with the 📳phone📳. And any last 🆓words 🆓? Meh. Well, it's🇮🇹🇮🇹 too 🕣late🕣🕣 for that. Delete him! Wait! You delete❌ Gene, you'll have🈶🈶 to delete❌ me, too. What? I have🈶 the same malfunction Gene 🈶has 🈶🈶. Dad? Oh gosh, I don't know what 😦 to do! Yes I do! BOTS! Sorry, mrs. Meh. Wow. I did not 👀see👀 that one1️⃣ coming. Smiler, I think🤔 you might be making too much stink out of all this. Oh really? How about you're ➡️next➡️? I was wrong, Gene. I should have🈶 believed in you all along. Oh, what😦😦 a🅰️🅰️ touching daddy son reunion 🇷🇪 moment! It reminds me of the ⏰time⏰ I deleted❌ you both!


In Memory Of
SHITPOST THREAD
2018-12-29 15:37:06 UTC
2019-02-16 02:57:19 UTC

Since we can't spam in the Shitpost Thread, can we Spam in the Spam Thread?
Tad Fibonacci
This isn't the same anymore...
Every night... I can still feel my shit posts...
And my YouTube videos... Even my Bee movie script.

The threads that got locked... Won't stop hurting.

You feel it too, don't you?
Achromalia
In this world, it's spam, or be spammed.

- - -

It's a beautiful day today.

Denizens are conversing, threads are thriving.

On days like these, shitposters like you,

...should be exiled from OT.
Westonini
ok, but what flavor?



sorry.

Also I knew it, Achromalia really is Sans!
Meah
light novels are loading
abraker
Shitpost thread -> can't spam
Spam thread -> can't ???
Topic Starter
Penguin

tad01123 wrote:

You feel it too, don't you?
I'm trying to fill this void that I feel inside of me... the feeling of emptiness. Nothing will compare to what we had in our thread, OUR thread. We joined together as a community; no.. as a family. We joined together to post shit to our hearts content. The pure joy that came with our posting in the beautiful thread we once knew and loved can never be achieved again.

I'm just not the same without our beloved shitpost thread... I don't know what to do anymore.
payney
abraker
It reached 39 pages. I mean when was the last time a thread did that? We lost something great today
Meah
Why must you shitpost :angery:
johnmedina999
I agree with everyone here. It just isn't the same without the thread here.

also

abraker wrote:

39 pages
SepelaThons
はい、Penguinさん!
TheLegendaryHD
Tᴏ ᴘʀᴏᴛᴇᴄᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴅᴇᴠᴀsᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ. ᴛᴏ ᴜɴɪᴛᴇ ᴀʟʟ sᴘᴀᴍᴍᴇʀs ᴡɪᴛʜɪɴ ᴏᴜʀ ɴᴀᴛɪᴏɴ. ᴛᴏ ᴅᴇɴᴏᴜɴᴄᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇᴠɪʟ ᴏғ Tʀᴜᴍᴘ ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴏᴅs. ᴛᴏ ᴇxᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴏᴜʀ sᴘᴀᴍ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ sᴛᴀʀs ᴀʙᴏᴠᴇ. ᴄᴏᴘʏ! ᴘᴀsᴛᴇ! ᴄʜᴀᴛ sᴘᴀᴍ ʙʟᴀsᴛ ᴏғғ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ sᴘᴇᴇᴅ ᴏғ ʟɪɢʜᴛ! sᴜʀʀᴇɴᴅᴇʀ ᴍᴏᴅs ᴏʀ ᴘʀᴇᴘᴀʀᴇ ᴛᴏ ғɪɢʜᴛ.
Vuelo Eluko
oh shit nerds i got on another top 50

https://osu.ppy.sh/b/645992?m=0
Vuelo Eluko
Fk you penguin
i did it by accident
u did it out of spite
i still win
abraker
haha he showed you
Topic Starter
Penguin

Vuelo Eluko wrote:

Fk you penguin
i did it by accident
u did it out of spite
i still win
oh shit, you noticed that?

I swear, I'm not picking on you. I did the same thing to ColdTooth months ago. So basically I'm a dick to everyone when it comes to scores.
Vuelo Eluko
play this frustrating piece of crap with hidden if ur dick so big

abraker


haha
Aiseca
SPAM?
Hmm...
Topic Starter
Penguin

Vuelo Eluko wrote:

play this frustrating piece of crap with hidden if ur dick so big

I don't think my score is gonna submit cause bancho is screwy right now, but is this good enough?

Vuelo Eluko
doesnt matter cause you cant snipe my captains of the sky score
just wanted to see if i could make u play that piece of crap map is all
like a fiddle
abraker
abraker


incoming nuke

you better get to a fallout shelter, riince
Vuelo Eluko
that was my saddest choke to date
liked the song, it was awkward to play, and could have been on top 50
Aiseca
ooohhh
45Traeath
MAPS
Topic Starter
Penguin

Vuelo Eluko wrote:

doesnt matter cause you cant snipe my captains of the sky score
just wanted to see if i could make u play that piece of crap map is all
like a fiddle
This score?


Your play on here is really impressive btw. This map is nutty
Vuelo Eluko
4 yrs after me but u pulled it off
im so proud of the new generation of players
Topic Starter
Penguin

Vuelo Eluko wrote:

im so proud of the new generation of players


dang, I guess I'm "new gen" now
Vuelo Eluko
impressive gap in playcount, I think mine is longer (due to being banned) but I respect it
get those misses down tho 4 is gr0ss
any tips for shaking off massive rust?
Topic Starter
Penguin

Vuelo Eluko wrote:

any tips for shaking off massive rust?
play more
Vuelo Eluko

Penguin wrote:

Vuelo Eluko wrote:

any tips for shaking off massive rust?
play more
IM TRYING
Topic Starter
Penguin
"You've played 50 times since osu! has been started."

not enough. I want to see 200 plays by dawn. GET TO IT MISTER.
Vuelo Eluko
ill fucking do it
Topic Starter
Penguin

Vuelo Eluko wrote:

ill fucking do it
Report to me once you complete your mission. You'll get your MRE rations when you're done.
Vuelo Eluko
im the best player who ever lived

abraker
you guys are gonna pull an all nighter just like me
Topic Starter
Penguin

abraker wrote:

you guys are gonna pull an all nighter just like me
did someone say... SLEEPOVER???
show more
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