Since it's in german, you don't have much to care what I write. Also it's easier for me. :pKatze wrote:
another updatei couldn't think of a situation that is worse than the one i'm currently in. but surprise, there is more!
last week, the co-worker whom is my teacher was on vacation, so there was only another boy with me in the office. he was talking to me, and we laughed and had fun. i started to think that it may not be so bad to work here, maybe they are only stressed because of christmas and all that. on monday, the other co-worker didn't come since there wasn't much to do, and i felt really relaxed since the other people in the office are really nice. i worked by myself and answered e-mails alone (i was never allowed to do that, i dont know why) and i enjoyed working like that. yesterday, this asshole came back, and it got bad again. she needs to control everything i do. none of the products i work on are right, there is always something wrong because i'm not working the way SHE wants. i started to feel like shit again, worthless and sad. which is stupid since i only started to feel a little bit better last week. so i was under her palm again. (i may not said it in my previous posts but i'll do it now: none of my co-workers talk to me, they never wait for me when they see me, and they hardly wish me a good morning when they see me alone so i'm really lonely there and i only talk to girls from the other office in my breaks, they are really really nice tho) so i spend my nine hours there sitting, waiting for her to control my stuff and looking out of thw window. i'm not eating much and people constantly ask me if i'm sick since my skin is paler than usual and i always look (and am) tired. yesterday, i was on the urge of crying again. i had to create a stamp for a customer, and she never told me how to do that. not where to start, nothing. normally we are five people in the office, but we were only three since the other two left earlier. it was the last hour for me and i was looking forward to the weekend. so she looked over my shoulder again to control everything i do. i wasn't familiar with in-design that much since we didn't learn enough about it in school, and we didn't work that much with it. so i asked her to help me and she said: well, i thought you learned that in school? (i was in the only "media-school" in austria, its really big and nearly everyone knows it, she wasn't accepted into it, but i was) i said no since our teacher worked with mostly photoshop. after she told me exactly where to move my mouse and which button to press, she got impatient again and told me to close it and she'll do it. she went to the toilet and i was sad but not only sad, i was angry. because now she starts mocking me. i'm not HER slave. she has no right to talk sarcastic to me, she thinks i'm STUPID. when she came back, i told her that there is a difference between learning the job we're in or going to school where you learn a bit of everything. she said the same thing to me, the sentence she always says: (another co-worker in out office learned a different job, not related to media-design, we call him tom now) well, tom didn't learn that job either, he got the hang out of it too, didn't he? why can't you do it? i didn't explain it to you because you came from said school so? i felt myself pinned against a wall. i was upsed but i didn't want to fight with her since thats not what you do so i shut up. suddently, the other co-worker who worked with me last week, started to talk too and it felt like i was in an exam. he said: well i thought you learn that in the school you went to? photoshop? that has nothing to do with media-design. he continued explaining things i learned when i went to school. so they both threw their shit at me and i couldn't do anything against me. it felt like i was being bullied. i answered him but i don't remember what i said anymore since i didn't want to continue the conversation. when i left the office, i wanted to drive home by myself, since i need 1000km for my drivers-license and my mother was there waiting for me. i couldn't drive because as soon as i opened the door of the car, i started crying. i talked to my mother about the issue and she said i should go and talk to the team-leader. i came home, ate a little bit and waited for my boyfriend to come home. i explained things to him, and he said maybe they just make jokes. today i have to go to this stupid festival, where we celebrate the beginning of the new year with the company. i don't want to go. i'll be alone for six hours, sitting there with no one talking to me. i'm AFRAID of going to work on monday. these people scare me. i'm looking for help, but the people i trust just tell me to get "a thicker skin" and that i should stop crying over everything. i feel really alone and i don't want to do anything anymore.
sorry if you guys may not know what i'm talking about since i'm in a bit of a hurry right now. but i wanted to get this off my chest again. it starts to get worse to the point where i just want to be alone again. like two years ago.
SPOILER
Du hast mir zwar schon davon erzählt, wie schlimm es bei dir in der Arbeit ist, aber das ist wirklich schon schockierend, wenn du dann noch in's Detail gehst... ich kann auch absolut nicht nachvollziehen, wie man auf so eine grenzdebile Antwort wie "Photoshop hat nichts mit Media-Design zu tun" kommt. Das ist pure Schikanierung. Außerdem haben sie nicht ansatzweise das Recht darauf, so eine Scheiße über dich zu erzählen, wie du aussiehst (der Punkt, dass du so blass aussiehst wegen Essen, etc) Soll sie sich doch für ihren Scheiß interessieren. Ihr hattet nur auf beruflicher Hinsicht miteinander was zu tun und da geht alles andere dem anderen gegenüber nichts an. Aber hast ja gemerkt: Es gibt nette Menschen und es gibt Menschen wie deine "Leiterin"(?), die andere Menschen nur wie Mist behandeln.
