It's the start of a new semester, at least for me, so I want to give some tips other to ease the suffering
That's all for this guide. In the next one we will examine how to explain your parents nothing bad happened, get student loans nobody approves, how to hack the net to change your academic record, and how to tie a noose made from the best quality rope.
1) When reading a syllabus, be a lawyer
- Those are the terms and conditions provided to you that you will have to deal with for the rest of the semester. Feel like homework being worth 40% of the final grade is a bit too much? Interrupt and tell your piece of mind. If you play well, you should be able to sway that number and be a class hero. A sample exchange might go something like this:
Teacher: Now if you turn the the next page of the syllabus, you will find that the project is worth 20% of your final grade, homework is worth 40%
You: OBJECTION!!! Homework shall not be worth 40% of the final grade. Think of the stress and anxiety other classes give through such requirements. Every day is a constant battle of tooth and nail, batting the same stick of wood, and for what purpose? I have 5 shifts of work, I need to feed my kid- dog who has just underwent a very serious, terrible, surgery. Give so-
Teacher: There will be make ups and due dates may be extended if you find it hard to complete it on time. If you have problems completing the assignments, the-
You: OBJECTION!!! Hardships are not fought by making up nor by delays. Make ups...
2) Entrepreneurship
- Textbooks are hard to come by and you are not alone. Every year teachers make students and you buy dead trees that you will probably use one or twice. Not always you will find a free online version floating around, and buying it is just too expensive. Luckily there are cheap used ones for sale out there by students who already took the class. But why stop there? Buy a bunch of cheap ones and sell for 10 bucks more. Many need those scraps of paper. In fact, just but out the supply and sell those for a higher price. Now your tuition is paid for!
3) Master the art of verbose
- Always ask questions during class. Even when you don't need to. The more questions you ask, the longer it will take to finish the lesson. That means the less work you need to do in class. Just remember it has to be at least somewhat related to the material. How example, in European History:
Teacher: And so Columbus has helped-
You: Is it true Columbus murdered all those people
Teacher: Well, ..
You: Did Columbus really get crucified by George Washington for killing Indian Jews on the 9/11 bombing?
4) Be a leader
- Once in a while a group project may come up. There is always that one kid that does all the work or there is always that one kid that tanks everybody's grade because that kid didn't do the part. Being a leader is very important in avoiding those cases, and proper tools are needed. You can get a whip fairly cheaply from somewhere and that's pretty much all you need to command your group members. Now you can make sure everything is done correctly.
5) Drop and run
- Failure is not an option. If things went really against your favor, then you should just show the middle finger to everyone in class, shout "fuck you", and drop the class. Obviously it wasn't your fault if you followed everything in this guide, and it's only because of the stupid courses you had to suffer. Just try a different one next semester and be sure to do better.
That's all for this guide. In the next one we will examine how to explain your parents nothing bad happened, get student loans nobody approves, how to hack the net to change your academic record, and how to tie a noose made from the best quality rope.
