On a more serious note, this is the wrong forum to post in. This belongs in general questions, so moving this thread there.
As for making beatmaps, in the faq (
http://osu.ppy.sh/p/faq#) in Editing, there is a simple guide on how to start making beatmaps. If you need live assistance, there are always nice ppl in #modhelp who are willing to help you out with your problems.
(Not sure if I should have treated this thread seriously)