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Ceui - Haruoto*Veil

posted
Total Posts
67
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Dored
287 posts
Joined May 2017
Topic Starter
Dored

Gust wrote:

hard以下我看问题没啥，就不摸了。然后很不错这个set，主难度做得很好，给个星 哇gust神真好 下个月的绿帽子我不抢了让给你

[Alice Gram]
检查Ai mod 嗯好的 看了下应该是之前改offset时造成的

00:29:323 (1) - 有一些不那么合vocal，然后这附近我是不推荐空拍的。推荐一个节奏的改法 改了
A
00:31:156 (6) - 这里个人推荐改成1/2的slider,因为00:31:656 (1) - 1附近连续空了2拍，感觉不太好 但它前后的红线确实没音 要是那么改反而会漏掉一个白线的鼓点 所以我觉得还是优先白线比较好 暂且还是先这样
01:02:489 (1) - 试试看拆成note+slider。长白线保证是可以点击的比较好 emm这个确实是没错...但目前的下法比较凸显voval 在这里插了一个折返感觉还算带感吧 后面也有一处那么用的 而且看目前的空间和排列不太好改
01:07:239 - 这里鼓点很明显，可以考虑放note 这一段voval比较高 算是整首歌里最突出的地方了 所以优先考虑了人声 目前的下法比较合vocal 不太想改
01:07:906 - 同 同上
01:11:489 (2,3) - 这里音不明显却放了三连，结合上面这几条想一想什么时候该放三连呢 那个音确实不明显 但在kiai段我不希望看见有空拍出现 只在01:11:489 (2) - 放一个单点也不太合适 所以用三连避免了空拍顺便起到加强01:11:656 (4) -滑条头的那个音的效果
01:26:656 (1) - 后面这段是一些个人意见：
钢琴音保证可以点击是比较好的
比如：
01:26:656 (1) -
01:28:156 (2) -
01:30:323 (6) - 特别是这个滑条尾，很重。
01:31:489 (5) -
01:31:989 (1) -
这个我会视情况而改的 我之前就是把相对轻、弱一些的音放在了滑条尾 而且我比较喜欢滑条和圈的搭配 如果所有钢琴音都clickable难以避免连续太多圈 在最后这种不强的收尾段我觉得不合适

01:38:823 - 这后面其实还可以补一个spin感觉 后面声音太小了 目前这个长度适中 而且和全难度统一 所以keep
感谢摸图！
Firika
Nomination Assessment Team
291 posts
Joined January 2017
Firika

Gust wrote:

[雷米]
00:23:573 - 这里不该漏音，所以后面的梗考虑改一下？ 保留 前面的滑条就有和这个位置相同的连打音,非常轻,相对于背景鼓差很远.而且后面的5连音很明显,和前面声音强度相差十分大,所以只跟后面5个,前5连直接跟突出的鼓音
00:27:156 (3) - 00:27:489 (5) - 这里的音并不支撑放note，太轻了，考虑改一下吧 保留 背景音挺明显的...
00:29:239 (9) - ^ 改了 √
00:35:156 (3) - ^ 改了 √
00:42:989 (2,3) - 感觉节奏有点怪，试试下面的？ 保留 我比较喜欢用滑条跟延续的鼓音,后面人声和鼓结尾用一个circle.感觉跟人声重音也行,但是感觉不用滑条跟这个长声的鼓很难受.
B
00:52:906 (7) - ^ 改了 √
01:01:656 (2) - ds是不是太小了点 改了 √
01:01:989 (5,6,7) - 也是节奏有点怪，vocal重音没有落到可以点击的地方 改了 但是不是你这样改的...用了个短滑条,然后跟了背景鼓音.
C
https://puu.sh/yPNZk/e6a5c23c54.png
感谢无敌9ust的摸 :?
Oiso's Insane
osu file format v14

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TitleUnicode:春音＊ベール
Artist:Ceui
ArtistUnicode:Ceui
Creator:Dored
Version:Oiso's Insane
Source:春音アリス＊グラム
Tags:Haruoto Alice*Gram Galgame Eroge Opening Short Version NanaWind Oiso Imouto koko Imouto OuO
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Azzedd
475 posts
Joined August 2016
Azzedd
Hello.
[koko's Insane]
00:04:323 (2,3) - i think is better to change for a slide to be consistent with theses sliders 00:01:323 (3,4) -
00:16:989 - here we have a loud sound you can enphasis with a slider
00:27:323 (2,3,4,5) - overjumped
00:34:156 (5,6,7) - stack with 00:33:823 (4) -
00:34:489 (1,2,3) - snap this combo like here 00:34:156 (5,6,7) -
00:36:656 (4) - delete this slide to stay consistent with the vocal like this 00:35:989 -
00:36:823 - the stream start here
00:39:989 - loud sound i think it's better if we can clic it
00:40:656 - you started to map vocal you should respect this all along of the map
00:41:989 - same
00:44:656 (3,4,1) - this overlap gives a negative effect to the player
00:49:989 (5,6,7) - this part is the same as 00:44:656 (3,4) - change this part for the same sliders reverses
00:51:323 (2) - put it here there 00:51:156 -
00:52:489 - 00:52:823 - i think isn't a good idea to let this song empty
01:03:656 - a slider here is better 01:03:823 - here we doesn't hear a sound that justifies its being clickable
01:04:573 (3) - start this slide on blue thick is surprising
01:07:239 (3) - same
01:15:989 (1,2,3,4) - here is the same combo and i think you can curve theses slides 01:16:323 (2,3,4) - to stay consistent
01:16:656 (3,4,1,2) - same combo too?
01:21:989 - triple here can emphasis this part maybe
01:26:323 (1,2) - emphasis here and this overlap isn't cool for the player hard to read
01:26:989 (2,3) - stack here is better
01:30:323 - slide here is good
01:31:823 - 01:33:323 - i think you can find a better rhythm

[Oiso's Insane]

00:02:656 - slider here is better
00:02:989 - here is a loud sound make clickable this sound
00:03:989 - slider better here too
00:05:323 - 00:05:656 - same part as 00:02:656 - 00:02:989 -
00:03:989 (6) - leave her empty 00:09:156 - like this so a slider here 00:09:656 (2) -
00:12:989 (1) - overmapped
00:17:323 (1,2,3,4,5,6) - the angle of this jump can be better compared to its 00:16:989 (4) -
00:19:489 - this empty stop in the launch, i think is better to put a slider here 00:19:323 -
00:23:656 (3,4,5,6) - i love this patern but reduce the distance snap/makes it easier
00:25:656 (3) - that is too close
00:26:323 (6) - same
00:26:989 (2) - same
00:28:323 (3) - you did right here
00:33:157 (4,1) - enphasis
00:36:989 (5,6,7,8,1) - put the stream and the same line than 00:36:823 (4) - ( is little surprising)
00:44:656 (3,4,5) - too close than 00:44:156 (2) -
00:53:323 - 00:57:323 - i like this part
01:00:823 (4) - ctrl+g
01:01:656 (2) - https://i.imgur.com/BjEe8fU.jpg something like this
01:03:323 (3) - you can make a better angle following the direction of the slide 01:02:989 (2) -
01:04:823 (5,6,7) - do something harder overlap is good but it can tense the player
01:07:906 (7,1) - emphasis this patern
01:07:906 (7,1) - good patern but this reverse jump 01:10:823 (2,3) - need not be, change his direction
01:25:239 (6,1) - emphasis this patern too
01:25:656 (2) - care to not got out the playfield
01:32:656 (3,4,5) - why a triple?

Your map has emphasis problems otherwise the rest is good
Firika
Nomination Assessment Team
291 posts
Joined January 2017
Firika

Azzedd wrote:

[Oiso's Insane]

00:02:656 - slider here is better
00:02:989 - here is a loud sound make clickable this sound
00:03:989 - slider better here too
00:05:323 - 00:05:656 - same part as 00:02:656 - 00:02:989 -
00:03:989 (6) - leave her empty 00:09:156 - like this so a slider here 00:09:656 (2) -
00:12:989 (1) - overmapped
00:17:323 (1,2,3,4,5,6) - the angle of this jump can be better compared to its 00:16:989 (4) -
00:19:489 - this empty stop in the launch, i think is better to put a slider here 00:19:323 -
00:23:656 (3,4,5,6) - i love this patern but reduce the distance snap/makes it easier
00:25:656 (3) - that is too close
00:26:323 (6) - same
00:26:989 (2) - same
00:28:323 (3) - you did right here
00:33:157 (4,1) - enphasis
00:36:989 (5,6,7,8,1) - put the stream and the same line than 00:36:823 (4) - ( is little surprising)
00:44:656 (3,4,5) - too close than 00:44:156 (2) -
00:53:323 - 00:57:323 - i like this part THX :)
01:00:823 (4) - ctrl+g
01:01:656 (2) - https://i.imgur.com/BjEe8fU.jpg something like this Right,I fix it √
01:03:323 (3) - you can make a better angle following the direction of the slide 01:02:989 (2) -
01:04:823 (5,6,7) - do something harder overlap is good but it can tense the player
01:07:906 (7,1) - emphasis this patern
01:07:906 (7,1) - good patern but this reverse jump 01:10:823 (2,3) - need not be, change his direction
01:25:239 (6,1) - emphasis this patern too
01:25:656 (2) - care to not got out the playfield Fixed √
01:32:656 (3,4,5) - why a triple? Fixed, triple is wrong √

Your idea is right, but i don't think my idea is wrong... so I only fix some necessary problems...(red note)
Your map has emphasis problems otherwise the rest is good Thanks for modding~
Oiso's Insane
osu file format v14

[General]
AudioFilename: audio.mp3
AudioLeadIn: 0
PreviewTime: 59656
Countdown: 0
SampleSet: Soft
StackLeniency: 0.5
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LetterboxInBreaks: 0
WidescreenStoryboard: 1

[Editor]
Bookmarks: 48656,61136
DistanceSpacing: 1.5
BeatDivisor: 4
GridSize: 4
TimelineZoom: 2.999999

[Metadata]
Title:Haruoto*Veil
TitleUnicode:春音＊ベール
Artist:Ceui
ArtistUnicode:Ceui
Creator:Dored
Version:Oiso's Insane
Source:春音アリス＊グラム
Tags:Haruoto Alice*Gram Galgame Eroge Opening Short Version NanaWind Oiso Imouto koko Imouto OuO
BeatmapID:1502250
BeatmapSetID:677875

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Imouto koko
95 posts
Joined January 2016
Imouto koko

Gust wrote:

[koko]
koko这个我不太会看
01:26:323 (1,2) - 这误导性太大了
Gust这个我不太会改(run

Azzedd wrote:

[koko's Insane]
00:04:323 (2,3) - i think is better to change for a slide to be consistent with theses sliders 00:01:323 (3,4) - adjusted.
00:16:989 - here we have a loud sound you can enphasis with a slider
00:27:323 (2,3,4,5) - overjumped adjusted.
00:34:156 (5,6,7) - stack with 00:33:823 (4) - fixed.
00:34:489 (1,2,3) - snap this combo like here 00:34:156 (5,6,7) - fixed.
00:36:656 (4) - delete this slide to stay consistent with the vocal like this 00:35:989 -
00:36:823 - the stream start here
00:39:989 - loud sound i think it's better if we can clic it
00:40:656 - you started to map vocal you should respect this all along of the map
00:41:989 - same
00:44:656 (3,4,1) - this overlap gives a negative effect to the player fixed.
00:49:989 (5,6,7) - this part is the same as 00:44:656 (3,4) - change this part for the same sliders reverses
00:51:323 (2) - put it here there 00:51:156 -
00:52:489 - 00:52:823 - i think isn't a good idea to let this song empty
01:03:656 - a slider here is better 01:03:823 - here we doesn't hear a sound that justifies its being clickable
01:04:573 (3) - start this slide on blue thick is surprising
01:07:239 (3) - same
01:15:989 (1,2,3,4) - here is the same combo and i think you can curve theses slides 01:16:323 (2,3,4) - to stay consistent
01:16:656 (3,4,1,2) - same combo too?
01:21:989 - triple here can emphasis this part maybe
01:26:323 (1,2) - emphasis here and this overlap isn't cool for the player hard to read
01:26:989 (2,3) - stack here is better
01:30:323 - slide here is good
01:31:823 - 01:33:323 - i think you can find a better rhythm
very helpful, thx!
papapa213
152 posts
Joined November 2014
papapa213
[Easy]
00:04:989 (2) - ds，低难度好像误差应该在0.03以下
[Normal]
00:09:323 (2) - 加nc然后去掉前面1的nc吧
[Hard]
01:01:823 (2) - 音效有点脱线，建议换个清脆一点的声音，比如默认softwhistle，这里的音感觉和01:09:489 (4,5,6,7) - 不是同一类
01:16:323 - 这里的话我是更习惯白线单点..我觉得这样有点怪
[一米四]
00:01:656 (4) - 别弧度这么大吧，不太好康
00:05:322 (1) - 这里是不是更适合逆flow？像你前面00:03:989 (1) - 这样，可能顺的也行，不过让它离远一点
00:07:323 (4,5,6,7) - 这里的话，我听起来的感觉似乎应该ctrl+g一下，适合向上走的flow，它和00:06:656 (1,2,3) - 听起来是有点相似之处的，2,3的音越来越高，向上走，之后的4567也是越来越高，改成向上走或许更好一些
00:11:656 (6) - 或许转盘应该在这里开始？
00:15:989 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7) - 这里我听起来感觉也和上面说的那个地方像是同一种，所以4567的摆法类似前面顺着单点比较好
00:28:656 (3) - 改成滑条？00:25:989 (3) - 节奏上不跟人声的话，这里让它打起来感觉一致我觉得可能更好
00:31:323 (3) - ^
01:06:989 (2,3) - 衔接的地方音效有点脱线，这里的音感觉和01:05:989 (3,4,5,6,7) - 不是同一类，所以不太适合用一样的音效
[雷米]
00:11:823 (1) - 感觉音效不太适合
00:12:989 (1) - 这里突然加速，给人感觉上是后面间距会增大的样子，但是后面比较平缓，感觉不是很舒服，感觉之后的一段sv加大一些，或者这个滑条不要这么快可能会好一些
00:34:656 (1,2) - 改成长滑条是不是好一些？前面有点激烈，长滑条能让人放松一下而且这里人声拉长也挺合曲
01:09:489 (1,2,3) - 放在356,36附近可能更舒服一些，这样的话01:08:989 (3,4,5) - 给人感觉是横着打，01:09:489 (1,2,3,1,2,3) - 给人感觉是竖着来，我觉得比较清晰而且舒服
[主难度]
00:16:656 (3,4,5,6) - 这里的话，听起来感觉需要和00:15:989 (1,2) - 在读图上分开，这四个音应该让他视觉上就感觉出和前面不一样，建议把00:16:489 (2) - 叠在00:15:989 (1) - 尾巴下以区分
00:54:656 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8) - 间距可以比前面的大一些
00:55:989 (1,1) - 没有什么特别需要强调的音，这里逆flow可能感觉不如顺的好
01:06:323 (1,2,3) - 01:11:489 (2,3,4) - 像是在打空气，感觉可以加个音效
01:25:573 (2,3,4,5,6) - 其实这里可以玩音量渐增，感觉挺合曲的
01:35:781 (8,9,1) - 8应该在01:35:781 - ，然后从01:35:864 - 开始是一个1/8的三连
Imouto koko
95 posts
Joined January 2016
Imouto koko

papapa213 wrote:

[一米四]
00:01:656 (4) - 别弧度这么大吧，不太好康 改了。
00:05:322 (1) - 这里是不是更适合逆flow？像你前面00:03:989 (1) - 这样，可能顺的也行，不过让它离远一点 改远了。
00:07:323 (4,5,6,7) - 这里的话，我听起来的感觉似乎应该ctrl+g一下，适合向上走的flow，它和00:06:656 (1,2,3) - 听起来是有点相似之处的，2,3的音越来越高，向上走，之后的4567也是越来越高，改成向上走或许更好一些 这地方本来就在最顶端了要拉个向上的不是丑了就是太远了，水平有限，不改了。
00:11:656 (6) - 或许转盘应该在这里开始？ 不太合适，前面的音还没结束，优先考虑前面的吧。
00:15:989 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7) - 这里我听起来感觉也和上面说的那个地方像是同一种，所以4567的摆法类似前面顺着单点比较好 本来是这样的，仔细听了听感觉3比4音高。
00:28:656 (3) - 改成滑条？00:25:989 (3) - 节奏上不跟人声的话，这里让它打起来感觉一致我觉得可能更好 这个没感觉出来……
00:31:323 (3) - ^
01:06:989 (2,3) - 衔接的地方音效有点脱线，这里的音感觉和01:05:989 (3,4,5,6,7) - 不是同一类，所以不太适合用一样的音效 改了，随便换了个重一点的。
Firika
Nomination Assessment Team
291 posts
Joined January 2017
Firika

papapa213 wrote:

[雷米]
00:11:823 (1) - 感觉音效不太适合 Fixed √
00:12:989 (1) - 这里突然加速，给人感觉上是后面间距会增大的样子，但是后面比较平缓，感觉不是很舒服，感觉之后的一段sv加大一些，或者这个滑条不要这么快可能会好一些 保留 只是觉得背景音的改变需要一个加速滑条体现...
00:34:656 (1,2) - 改成长滑条是不是好一些？前面有点激烈，长滑条能让人放松一下而且这里人声拉长也挺合曲 其实后面背景有3个音. 用1/2 slider+ note了,空着是有点不好... Fixed √
01:09:489 (1,2,3) - 放在356,36附近可能更舒服一些，这样的话01:08:989 (3,4,5) - 给人感觉是横着打，01:09:489 (1,2,3,1,2,3) - 给人感觉是竖着来，我觉得比较清晰而且舒服 bdbf啪啪啪大师,之前我本来是想过,当时突然不会弄了...改了下flow,好多了... Fixed √
感谢啪啪啪的摸.~ :)
Oiso's Insane
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Dored
287 posts
Joined May 2017
Topic Starter
Dored

papapa213 wrote:

[Easy]
00:04:989 (2) - ds，低难度好像误差应该在0.03以下 改了
[Normal]
00:09:323 (2) - 加nc然后去掉前面1的nc吧 嗯嗯改了
[Hard]
01:01:823 (2) - 音效有点脱线，建议换个清脆一点的声音，比如默认softwhistle，这里的音感觉和01:09:489 (4,5,6,7) - 不是同一类 好的
01:16:323 - 这里的话我是更习惯白线单点..我觉得这样有点怪 emm这一段是主vocal的 我觉得没什么问题
[主难度]
00:16:656 (3,4,5,6) - 这里的话，听起来感觉需要和00:15:989 (1,2) - 在读图上分开，这四个音应该让他视觉上就感觉出和前面不一样，建议把00:16:489 (2) - 叠在00:15:989 (1) - 尾巴下以区分 00:16:489 (2) - prev:x1.05 next:x1.80 已经在距离上做了区分了 我觉得这样足以
00:54:656 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8) - 间距可以比前面的大一些 好的 在原来的间距上x了1.05
00:55:989 (1,1) - 没有什么特别需要强调的音，这里逆flow可能感觉不如顺的好 哦我的想法是这里歌词yu是四声 ki是一声 所以一个往下走 另一个往上走 我觉得还好
01:06:323 (1,2,3) - 01:11:489 (2,3,4) - 像是在打空气，感觉可以加个音效 嗯都加了
01:25:573 (2,3,4,5,6) - 其实这里可以玩音量渐增，感觉挺合曲的 改啦
01:35:781 (8,9,1) - 8应该在01:35:781 - ，然后从01:35:864 - 开始是一个1/8的三连 呃 我觉得在结尾没必要弄个1/8的来让玩家很不愉快 我看下蕾咪那个难度我想他那个下法是对的 我按那种下法改了
感谢摸图！
sahuang
2,294 posts
Joined December 2014
sahuang
给个摸

Easy
00:36:656 (3,1) - 这两个做的对称一下会好看很多，比如00:36:656 (3) - 横着翻一下当（1）
00:49:989 (3,1) - 这边的flow不是很顺，要么3的弧度大一点或者后面的滑条往下

Normal
01:26:489 - 建议加个圈，这边downbeat挺明显的
这个做的不错

Hard
00:36:989 (6) - 别touch hp bar
00:46:156 (3,2,4) - 可以做的对称一点，比如平行或者什么的（more aesthetics）
01:25:823 (2) - 折返的地方是重音，这样放打起来会不太舒服，建议变成圈+滑条然后圈stack滑条头
01:34:573 - 漏拍
01:35:823 (5) - 1/6吧

koko
00:15:989 (1,4) - very uncomfortable/messy overlap here
00:18:323 (5,1) - this is kind of misleading and will be easily mistaken as 1/4 reverses...i think you should try rotate it instead. Something like this: http://puu.sh/ySKnO/5acf79b280.jpg try to avoid overlap between 00:17:323 (1,5) -
00:19:989 (1,5,6,7) - due to stack leniency they are not perfectly stacked, please manually adjust them
00:21:989 (3) - i would expect a similar shape with 00:21:323 (1,2) -
00:28:323 (2) - rotate a bit for smoother angle
00:28:323 (2,3,4) - tricky pattern here, maybe NC 00:28:656 (3) - and 00:31:323 (3) - for better readability
00:30:156 (3) - simply use 00:29:823 (2) - and do a reflection
00:33:823 (4,5,6,7) - stacking issue as mentioned above
00:30:156 (3,4,1) - flow is extremely uncomfortable
00:44:156 (2,3) - parallel to each other?
00:56:489 (5,6,7,1) - increase the distance here a bit. Your previous 1/2 gaps are like 00:55:989 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7) -
01:01:323 (1,2) - this spacing is more like 1/4 rather than 1/2 dude
01:07:823 (1,3) - swap NC
01:11:656 (4,1,2) - weird placement, try sth else that is less messy
01:34:573 - missing beat
Overall there are a lot of places that should be polished imo, the style is fine, just need more beauty lol

Oiso
00:31:489 (5,7) - 这边没鼓点也没vocal，感觉不需要跳
00:34:989 (2) - 请用滑条，间距也太小了，初见1/4
01:08:489 (2,3) - 这种间距也有点小
01:18:489 (1,3) - blanket
01:32:489 (3,6) - 别贴一起

主难度
00:09:989 - 提个建议，可以sv降一点用两个短一点的滑条，体现了音调的降低
00:23:989 (1,3) - 分开一点
00:26:322 (2,3) - g一下节奏就对了
00:29:323 (1) - 圈+滑条吧，1/1太简单了，这边vocal丰富一下
00:30:656 - clickable
00:31:156 (6,1,2,3) - 这边很难受的就是所有滑条尾反而是最重的音，最好把节奏改一下
00:33:323 - 这边也是，00:32:989 (4,1) - g一下
00:50:656 (1,2) - blanket
01:15:156 (3,4) - ctrl+G 节奏和flow都会好
01:18:156 (2,1) - 节奏反一下，其实01:18:656 - 才是开始
01:18:489 (1,2,1,2,1,2,1,2) - 个人不支持无脑这样摆，这边音乐并不是一模一样的哒哒哒哒，比如01:19:489 - 其实没什么音，还是一个程度的跳就很没意思了
01:30:823 (2,3,4) - 可以做得更好看一些，现在的间距不好，还有其实01:31:656 - 做成单点会更好
01:31:823 (1) - remove NC
01:33:156 (1,2,3) - 可以做的更顺手自然一些http://puu.sh/ySL5A/9823217e10.jpg

总的来说作为1st已经挺好了，你改了我再看看吧，koko的可以再找一两个摸
Imouto koko
95 posts
Joined January 2016
Imouto koko

sahuang wrote:

koko
00:15:989 (1,4) - very uncomfortable/messy overlap here 转了个角度。
00:18:323 (5,1) - this is kind of misleading and will be easily mistaken as 1/4 reverses...i think you should try rotate it instead. Something like this: http://puu.sh/ySKnO/5acf79b280.jpg try to avoid overlap between 00:17:323 (1,5) - 方向换了。
00:19:989 (1,5,6,7) - due to stack leniency they are not perfectly stacked, please manually adjust them 做完忘了检查了，改了。
00:21:989 (3) - i would expect a similar shape with 00:21:323 (1,2) - 感觉直着接note跳会比较符合读图。
00:28:323 (2) - rotate a bit for smoother angle 改了。
00:28:323 (2,3,4) - tricky pattern here, maybe NC 00:28:656 (3) - and 00:31:323 (3) - for better readability 有道理。
00:30:156 (3) - simply use 00:29:823 (2) - and do a reflection 感觉没必要？00:29:323 (1,3) - 这样的形状/overlap感觉比较舒服。
00:33:823 (4,5,6,7) - stacking issue as mentioned above 嗯嗯改了。
00:30:156 (3,4,1) - flow is extremely uncomfortable 滑条换了个方向，可能好点了。
00:44:156 (2,3) - parallel to each other? 这个平行的话折返可能不那么明显，但是略微的错位也有点丑，先加大了一些角度稍微好看一点了。
00:56:489 (5,6,7,1) - increase the distance here a bit. Your previous 1/2 gaps are like 00:55:989 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7) - 换了个地方放连打了。
01:01:323 (1,2) - this spacing is more like 1/4 rather than 1/2 dude 唔，稍微拉大了一点，感觉全图的1/4还是挺清晰的都有overlap了。
01:07:823 (1,3) - swap NC 改了。
01:11:656 (4,1,2) - weird placement, try sth else that is less messy 拉开了不overlap了。
01:34:573 - missing beat 补了。
Overall there are a lot of places that should be polished imo, the style is fine, just need more beauty lol thx!
very helpful. thx for mod!

code
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Title:Haruoto*Veil
TitleUnicode:春音＊ベール
Artist:Ceui
ArtistUnicode:Ceui
Creator:Dored
Version:koko's Insane
Source:春音アリス＊グラム
Tags:Haruoto Alice*Gram Galgame Eroge Opening Short Version NanaWind Oiso Imouto koko Imouto OuO
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Firika
Nomination Assessment Team
291 posts
Joined January 2017
Firika

sahuang wrote:

给个摸
Oiso
00:31:489 (5,7) - 这边没鼓点也没vocal，感觉不需要跳 7有vocal上扬 这个跳留着了，5那个改了 √
00:34:989 (2) - 请用滑条，间距也太小了，初见1/4 改了 √
01:08:489 (2,3) - 这种间距也有点小改了 √
01:18:489 (1,3) - blanket 改了 √
01:32:489 (3,6) - 别贴一起 改了（换了个角度） √
感谢给皇的摸,很有用 ;)
Oiso's Insane
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TitleUnicode:春音＊ベール
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164,226,70489,1,8,0:0:0:0:
194,256,70573,1,8,0:0:0:0:
236,262,70656,5,4,3:0:0:0:
434,181,70823,1,2,0:0:0:0:
249,253,70989,1,8,0:0:0:0:
321,78,71156,1,2,0:0:0:0:
262,244,71323,1,4,3:0:0:0:
388,334,71489,1,2,0:0:0:0:
275,235,71656,1,8,0:0:0:0:
434,181,71823,1,2,0:0:0:0:
434,181,71907,1,2,0:0:0:0:
434,181,71989,6,0,P|490:191|525:215,1,87.5,4|0,3:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
289,227,72323,1,8,0:0:0:0:
348,162,72489,2,0,P|351:108|339:64,1,87.5,0|0,3:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
375,246,72823,2,0,P|366:288|370:332,1,87.5,8|8,3:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
262,143,73156,6,0,P|185:129|124:198,1,175,4|0,3:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
231,295,73656,2,0,P|231:252|208:214,1,87.5,8|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
61,275,73989,2,0,L|148:277,1,87.5,4|4,3:0|3:0,0:0:0:0:
13,201,74323,1,8,0:0:0:0:
231,295,74489,6,0,P|194:203|123:196,1,175,4|0,3:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
174,356,74989,1,8,0:0:0:0:
313,312,75156,2,0,P|367:316|419:334,1,87.5,8|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
231,295,75489,1,8,0:0:0:0:
229,260,75573,1,8,0:0:0:0:
227,225,75656,1,8,0:0:0:0:
225,190,75738,1,8,0:0:0:0:
223,155,75822,1,8,0:0:0:0:
222,120,75905,1,8,0:0:0:0:
220,85,75989,5,4,3:0:0:0:
292,9,76156,1,0,0:0:0:0:
423,134,76323,1,8,0:0:0:0:
351,210,76490,1,2,0:0:0:0:
394,34,76656,1,4,3:0:0:0:
452,234,76823,1,2,0:0:0:0:
452,234,76906,1,2,0:0:0:0:
452,234,76989,1,8,0:0:0:0:
322,110,77156,1,2,0:0:0:0:
495,58,77323,5,4,3:0:0:0:
351,210,77489,1,0,0:0:0:0:
423,134,77656,1,8,0:0:0:0:
380,310,77823,1,2,0:0:0:0:
250,186,77989,1,4,3:0:0:0:
452,234,78156,1,8,3:0:0:0:
279,286,78323,1,8,0:0:0:0:
304,116,78489,6,0,P|331:151|337:194,1,87.5,4|2,3:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
191,278,78823,1,8,3:0:0:0:
250,186,78989,1,8,0:0:0:0:
193,313,79156,1,2,0:0:0:0:
111,200,79323,1,4,3:0:0:0:
252,221,79489,1,2,0:0:0:0:
252,221,79573,1,2,0:0:0:0:
252,221,79656,1,8,0:0:0:0:
52,292,79823,1,2,0:0:0:0:
110,165,79989,5,4,3:0:0:0:
191,280,80156,1,2,0:0:0:0:
43,206,80323,1,8,0:0:0:0:
193,109,80489,1,2,0:0:0:0:
117,243,80656,1,4,3:0:0:0:
89,33,80823,1,8,3:0:0:0:
122,278,80989,1,8,0:0:0:0:
224,123,81156,1,2,0:0:0:0:
224,123,81239,1,2,0:0:0:0:
224,123,81323,5,4,3:0:0:0:
37,111,81489,1,10,0:0:0:0:
172,201,81656,1,8,0:0:0:0:
276,45,81823,5,4,3:0:0:0:
130,116,81989,1,8,0:0:0:0:
265,207,82156,5,8,3:0:0:0:
372,50,82323,1,8,0:0:0:0:
180,40,82489,1,8,0:0:0:0:
362,212,82656,5,2,0:0:0:0:
276,45,82823,5,8,3:0:0:0:
265,207,82989,1,8,0:0:0:0:
413,134,83155,1,8,0:0:0:0:
224,123,83323,5,2,0:0:0:0:
306,291,83489,5,8,3:0:0:0:
319,127,83656,1,8,0:0:0:0:
172,201,83823,1,8,0:0:0:0:
252,370,83989,6,0,P|269:318|254:265,1,112,4|0,3:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
172,201,84489,1,2,0:0:0:0:
172,201,84573,1,2,0:0:0:0:
172,201,84656,2,0,L|115:204,1,56,8|0,3:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
254,265,84989,2,0,L|309:262,1,56,2|2,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
340,277,85239,1,2,0:0:0:0:
340,277,85323,6,0,L|395:274,1,56,8|0,3:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
471,310,85656,2,0,L|468:365,1,56
340,277,85989,2,0,L|337:221,1,56,8|0,3:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
431,109,86323,1,8,3:0:0:0:
417,193,86489,1,2,0:0:0:0:
285,83,86656,6,0,L|347:80,1,62.9999980773926,4|0,3:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
214,146,86989,1,2,0:0:0:0:
305,176,87156,2,0,L|374:173,1,62.9999980773926,2|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
194,53,87489,2,0,L|125:56,1,62.9999980773926,2|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
75,193,87823,6,0,L|73:131,1,62.9999980773926,2|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
233,239,88156,2,0,L|230:301,1,62.9999980773926,2|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
171,376,88489,1,0,0:0:0:0:
36,336,88656,2,0,P|75:289|136:287,1,125.999996154785,4|0,3:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
233,375,89156,1,0,0:0:0:0:
233,375,89323,6,0,L|296:373,1,62.9999980773926,4|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
423,300,89656,2,0,L|361:303,1,62.9999980773926,2|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
297,232,89989,2,0,L|303:107,1,125.999996154785,2|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
373,42,90489,1,2,0:0:0:0:
211,77,90656,5,0,3:0:0:0:
211,77,90823,1,0,0:0:0:0:
232,170,90989,1,0,3:0:0:0:
232,170,91156,1,2,0:0:0:0:
161,234,91323,1,0,3:0:0:0:
161,234,91490,1,0,3:0:0:0:
69,205,91656,1,2,0:0:0:0:
50,112,91823,1,0,3:0:0:0:
50,112,91906,1,0,3:0:0:0:
50,112,91989,6,0,L|112:109,1,62.9999980773926,4|0,3:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
230,161,92323,1,0,0:0:0:0:
230,161,92489,2,0,L|292:158,1,62.9999980773926,2|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
410,210,92823,1,2,0:0:0:0:
304,289,92989,1,4,3:0:0:0:
366,149,93156,1,0,0:0:0:0:
369,143,93239,1,0,0:0:0:0:
372,137,93323,5,0,0:0:0:0:
379,280,93489,1,2,0:0:0:0:
260,228,93656,1,2,0:0:0:0:
410,210,93823,1,8,3:0:0:0:
229,296,93989,1,2,0:0:0:0:
293,158,94156,1,0,3:0:0:0:
293,158,94239,1,0,3:0:0:0:
293,158,94323,1,8,0:0:0:0:
348,348,94489,1,0,3:0:0:0:
348,348,94573,1,0,3:0:0:0:
348,348,94656,5,4,3:0:0:0:
184,235,94823,1,8,0:0:0:0:
379,280,94989,1,8,0:0:0:0:
198,364,95156,5,4,3:0:0:0:
215,167,95323,1,8,0:0:0:0:
348,348,95489,1,8,0:0:0:0:
153,303,95656,5,4,3:0:0:0:
293,158,95823,2,0,L|322:152,3,15.7499995193482,8|0|0|0,0:0|0:0|0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
256,192,95989,12,0,98656,0:0:0:0:
Dored
287 posts
Joined May 2017
Topic Starter
Dored

sahuang wrote:

给个摸

Easy
00:36:656 (3,1) - 这两个做的对称一下会好看很多，比如00:36:656 (3) - 横着翻一下当（1） Fixed
00:49:989 (3,1) - 这边的flow不是很顺，要么3的弧度大一点或者后面的滑条往下 Fixed

Normal
01:26:489 - 建议加个圈，这边downbeat挺明显的 Fixed
这个做的不错 谢谢

Hard
00:36:989 (6) - 别touch hp bar Fixed
00:46:156 (3,2,4) - 可以做的对称一点，比如平行或者什么的（more aesthetics） Fixed
01:25:823 (2) - 折返的地方是重音，这样放打起来会不太舒服，建议变成圈+滑条然后圈stack滑条头 Fixed
01:34:573 - 漏拍 Fixed
01:35:823 (5) - 1/6吧 这个改了是改了 但是我听的是1/8 后面oiso和主难度也用了1/8 请再听一下

主难度
00:09:989 - 提个建议，可以sv降一点用两个短一点的滑条，体现了音调的降低 Fixed
00:23:989 (1,3) - 分开一点 Fixed
00:26:322 (2,3) - g一下节奏就对了 Fixed
00:29:323 (1) - 圈+滑条吧，1/1太简单了，这边vocal丰富一下 Fixed
00:30:656 - clickable Fixed
00:31:156 (6,1,2,3) - 这边很难受的就是所有滑条尾反而是最重的音，最好把节奏改一下 嗯这一段节奏基本都改了一下
00:33:323 - 这边也是，00:32:989 (4,1) - g一下 Fixed
00:50:656 (1,2) - blanket Fixed
01:15:156 (3,4) - ctrl+G 节奏和flow都会好 Fixed
01:18:156 (2,1) - 节奏反一下，其实01:18:656 - 才是开始 Fixed
01:18:489 (1,2,1,2,1,2,1,2) - 个人不支持无脑这样摆，这边音乐并不是一模一样的哒哒哒哒，比如01:19:489 - 其实没什么音，还是一个程度的跳就很没意思了 目前这种摆法感觉相对整洁一些 我现在摆变距跳相对有些吃力 摆出来的感觉有些乱 暂且没改
01:30:823 (2,3,4) - 可以做得更好看一些，现在的间距不好，还有其实01:31:656 - 做成单点会更好 Fixed
01:31:823 (1) - remove NC Fixed
01:33:156 (1,2,3) - 可以做的更顺手自然一些http://puu.sh/ySL5A/9823217e10.jpg Fixed

总的来说作为1st已经挺好了，你改了我再看看吧，koko的可以再找一两个摸
Thanks for mod!
buhei
567 posts
Joined February 2012
buhei
irc with koko
17:07 buhei: :
17:07 Imouto koko: 喵
17:07 *Imouto koko is editing [https://osu.ppy.sh/b/1504949 Ceui - Haruoto*Veil [koko's Insane]]
17:09 buhei: 00:09:323 (1,3,4,5,6,7,8) -
17:10 buhei: 好像不是正六边形
17:10 Imouto koko: 唔
17:10 buhei: 00:10:323 (7) - 这个明显高了一点
17:10 Imouto koko: 应该不是随手摆的
17:10 buhei: 那你看看
17:11 Imouto koko: 总之重新摆一下好了
17:11 buhei: 就造正三角形一个一个比对一下就行
17:11 buhei: 我感觉可能就是这个7有点高了
17:11 buhei: 00:14:823 (2) - 这个怎么讲 我个人觉得不太好看
17:14 Imouto koko: 唔
17:14 Imouto koko: 只是好看问题的话那就不管了，我觉得挺好看pwp
17:15 buhei: 00:19:906 -
17:16 buhei: 漏了鼓
17:17 Imouto koko: emmmm
17:19 buhei: 00:21:323 (1,2,3,4,5) -
17:20 buhei: 怎么说
17:20 buhei: 我觉得这里放单点可能更好点
17:20 Imouto koko: 那就不太会摆了，这种节奏
17:20 buhei: 毕竟鼓这么重
17:20 buhei: 给人的感觉应该是7个单点+1个长滑条这样的
17:20 Imouto koko: 鼓重的话，单点拉不开间距啊
17:21 buhei: 前面那个漏鼓的问题你打算解决吗
17:21 buhei: 其实不管也行
17:21 Imouto koko: 看了半天不想改……实在是不会改了……
17:28 buhei: https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/9927042
17:28 buhei: 我觉得这样就行啊
17:29 buhei: 改成单点的话
17:31 Imouto koko: 嗯……和我预期的感觉不太一样吧
17:31 Imouto koko: 我觉得慢慢变大的移动效果好一点
17:31 buhei: 慢慢变大那就两个一组
17:31 Imouto koko: 就是最后全屏这样
17:32 Imouto koko: 两个一组全屏太难了
17:33 Imouto koko: pwp
17:33 buhei: https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/9927058
17:34 buhei: 如果你不介意提高星数其实最后的78还能更大
17:34 Imouto koko: 介意的……
17:35 Imouto koko: 看了看
17:35 Imouto koko: 实在不符合我想要的效果orz
17:35 Imouto koko: 这段别看了吧
17:35 buhei: 看你想要怎样的flow
17:35 buhei: 转圈的还是反复横跳还是怎样
17:35 Imouto koko: 就是直线的全屏移动
17:36 Imouto koko: 不转圈也不折返
17:36 Imouto koko: 锐角那种
17:37 buhei: 像dear nemis一样的那种？
17:37 buhei: 00:33:823 (4) -
17:37 Imouto koko: 。这还有例子吗
17:37 buhei: 加clap
17:37 Imouto koko: 就是pp跳那种啊
17:38 Imouto koko: 加了
17:38 buhei: 00:41:156 (1) - 删finish
17:38 Imouto koko: 删了
17:38 buhei: 00:39:823 - 这里的finish
17:38 Imouto koko: 删了？
17:38 buhei: 其实背景的鼓是在00:39:989 -
17:39 buhei: 你如果不介意把finish放在滑条尾的话
17:39 buhei: 就改吧
17:39 buhei: 介意的话emm其实问题也不大
17:39 Imouto koko: 唔
17:39 Imouto koko: 这里音效其实是因为人声才下的
17:39 Imouto koko: 那个鼓感觉不用finish
17:40 buhei: 知道是因为人声
17:40 buhei: 这里其实还行
17:40 buhei: 刚让你删的地方是因为用太多了
17:41 buhei: 00:42:656 - 这个你把左上角改成Drum然后音效改成clap试试
17:41 buhei: 看看满不满意
17:41 Imouto koko: 挺好的，改了
17:42 buhei: 00:44:156 (2) -
17:43 buhei: 有点打空气
17:43 Imouto koko: 唔
17:43 Imouto koko: 节奏是这样的
17:44 Imouto koko: 但是空着觉得不太舒服
17:44 buhei: 00:44:156 - 那你在这加个whistle吧
17:44 buhei: 虽然没啥用
17:45 Imouto koko: 感觉不加干脆让它空气也挺好的……
17:45 buhei: 00:44:156 -
17:45 buhei: 从这开始的每个白线我建议都要有个鼓
17:46 Imouto koko: 诶？
17:46 Imouto koko: 是不是复制错了
17:46 buhei: 是
17:46 buhei: 00:51:323 (2) -
17:46 buhei: 233
17:47 Imouto koko: 用什么鼓呢，clap么
17:47 buhei: 你可以用clpa
17:47 buhei: clap
17:47 buhei: 也可以考虑用那个自定义音效的whistle
17:48 buhei: S:C1
17:48 buhei: 那个
17:48 buhei: whistle和clap交替用
17:48 buhei: 可以
17:48 Imouto koko: 唔
17:49 buhei: 或者你都用clap也行
17:49 buhei: 我听了一下效果还行
17:49 buhei: 00:51:656 (4) - 00:51:989 - 00:52:323 - 00:52:989 -
17:49 buhei: 这些地方加上clap
17:49 Imouto koko: 嗯改了
17:50 buhei: 00:59:656 (2,1,2,3,4) -
17:50 buhei: 有点别扭
17:50 Imouto koko: 诶
17:50 buhei: 00:59:656 (2,1) -
17:51 buhei: 飞得好远
17:51 buhei: 而且这个角度也怪怪的
17:52 Imouto koko: 唔
17:52 Imouto koko: 没太好的想法
17:53 buhei: 间距太大了
17:54 buhei: https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/9927123
17:55 Imouto koko: 我稍微拉进了一点
17:55 Imouto koko: 拉近*
17:55 Imouto koko: 你这个形状感觉有点不太顺后面的2
17:55 buhei: 还行吧
17:55 Imouto koko: 我还是改成折返箭头在上面的了，稍微弯了一下
17:56 buhei: 那样就会有点丑 主要
17:56 Imouto koko: 不太理解这种丑……
17:56 buhei: 感觉你的finish假的有点乱诶
17:56 buhei: 加的
17:56 Imouto koko: 不都是我加的
17:56 Imouto koko: 直接复制的主难度音效，我基本就补了点默认whistle
17:56 buhei: 01:11:989 (1) -
17:57 buhei: 你这个看起来下面的部分很扭
17:57 buhei: 你让它自己能和自己对称
17:57 Imouto koko: 可能是角度问题，一开始没转这么多的我觉得挺好看的
17:57 buhei: 四个白点ABCD
17:58 buhei: AB和CD平行且相等一下
17:58 buhei: 至少相等一下
17:58 buhei: 然后∠ABC和∠BCD最好差不多
17:58 Imouto koko: 改好了
17:58 buhei: hhh
17:59 buhei: 01:15:489 (1,2,3,4,5,6,1) -
17:59 Imouto koko: 。
17:59 buhei: 是这样的
17:59 buhei: 你这个全部选中以后看起来是挺好看的
17:59 buhei: 但是打的时候第一感觉是
17:59 buhei: 01:15:489 (1,2,3,4,5,6) - 这个形状很怪
18:00 buhei: 读图的时候感觉也一般把这几个放在一起读
18:00 buhei: 所以看起来就像是拱形往右边偏了
18:00 buhei: 你自己看一下吧
18:02 Imouto koko: 改了一下
18:03 buhei: 01:34:657 (1,2,3,4,5) -
18:03 buhei: emmm
18:03 buhei: 你是想做pp跳是吗
18:04 Imouto koko: 不是
18:04 Imouto koko: pp跳有星数
18:04 Imouto koko: 我只想做锐角全屏的移动
18:04 Imouto koko: 就是pp跳那种感觉的
18:04 buhei: 那不可能啊
18:04 Imouto koko: 所以滑条就可能了啊
18:04 buhei: 除非你把sv搞到3
18:04 Imouto koko: 这已经是我要的感觉了啊
18:05 buhei: 行吧
18:05 buhei: 那就这么多
Yugu
Elite Mapper
1,006 posts
Joined August 2013
Yugu
面4面

Imoto koko
SL可以再开高点，0.5对于I来说有点..
00:03:489 (5) - 放远点,00:02:989 (3,4,5) - 他们的间距太相似了
00:35:823 (6,1) - 觉得你1/1模式太多变了,前面的1/1你都是摆的有偏移的00:26:656 (1,2) - 00:28:656 (1,2,1) - ,到这里突然stack,但是这里00:37:323 (1,2) - 又拉开了,其实我就建议你把00:35:823 (6,1) - 的弄成跟前面一样的规律就好了
01:25:989 (6,1) - 连打后的1/1stack其实不太友善

你的音效下的貌似有问题,例如:这四个note的部分00:35:323 (3,4,5,6) - 这三个note的鼓是同一种鼓00:35:323 (3,5,6) - 但是00:35:656 (5) - 却用了clap,00:35:489 (4) - 却用了代表00:35:323 - 的鼓的whistle。00:39:323 - 和00:39:323 - 的鼓也没有下,前面开头段的音效我也不知道你怎么下的,可能你需要重新下音效

Alice Gram
00:09:989 (3,4) - 这里音乐是减弱的为什么间距反而增大了,你这都降低sv了说明你也是认为是减弱的啊
00:53:323 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8) - 太梗了吧,我觉得00:54:656 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8) - 可以增大间距,或者这段跳做成一个渐大间距的跳
01:18:656 (1,2,1,2,1,2,1,2) - 学什么不好非要学这种难打的上下折返跳(
01:19:656 (1,2) - 歪了,这个如果肌肉记忆了前6个跳的话,最后2个跳规律没跟上怕是很容易miss

海星
Dored
287 posts
Joined May 2017
Topic Starter
Dored

Yugu wrote:

面4面

Alice Gram
00:09:989 (3,4) - 这里音乐是减弱的为什么间距反而增大了,你这都降低sv了说明你也是认为是减弱的啊 改了
00:53:323 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8) - 太梗了吧,我觉得00:54:656 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8) - 可以增大间距,或者这段跳做成一个渐大间距的跳
其实后面八个本来就比前面八个大了一点 这样的话就再适当增大了点 至于梗什么的 进kiai部分通常就是难点所在 我觉得稍微难一点也无妨
01:18:656 (1,2,1,2,1,2,1,2) - 学什么不好非要学这种难打的上下折返跳( 我觉得挺好打(
01:19:656 (1,2) - 歪了,这个如果肌肉记忆了前6个跳的话,最后2个跳规律没跟上怕是很容易miss vocal在这里停顿了一下 前面几个跳是上半句 从这里开始是下半句 所以转变了一下 我觉得没有问题

海星
感谢摸图!
Firika
Nomination Assessment Team
291 posts
Joined January 2017
Firika
Fixed some hitsounds

Oiso's Insane
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Imouto koko
95 posts
Joined January 2016
Imouto koko

Yugu wrote:

Imoto koko
SL可以再开高点，0.5对于I来说有点.. 这个的高低应该不会影响我这张图，不过习惯性改0.3了先。
00:03:489 (5) - 放远点,00:02:989 (3,4,5) - 他们的间距太相似了 改了。
00:35:823 (6,1) - 觉得你1/1模式太多变了,前面的1/1你都是摆的有偏移的00:26:656 (1,2) - 00:28:656 (1,2,1) - ,到这里突然stack,但是这里00:37:323 (1,2) - 又拉开了,其实我就建议你把00:35:823 (6,1) - 的弄成跟前面一样的规律就好了 唔，其实是挺有逻辑的，比较强烈的停顿和多边形会原地，其余带flow就拉开了。
01:25:989 (6,1) - 连打后的1/1stack其实不太友善 触手路上必经的挑战吧（远目）。

你的音效下的貌似有问题,例如:这四个note的部分00:35:323 (3,4,5,6) - 这三个note的鼓是同一种鼓00:35:323 (3,5,6) - 但是00:35:656 (5) - 却用了clap,00:35:489 (4) - 却用了代表00:35:323 - 的鼓的whistle。00:39:323 - 和00:39:323 - 的鼓也没有下,前面开头段的音效我也不知道你怎么下的,可能你需要重新下音效 这里就是平常的2/4clap，没想太多其实……
sahuang
2,294 posts
Joined December 2014
sahuang
Recheck

koko
01:18:656 (3,4,5,6,1,2) - 这边一堆滑条完全无法体现音乐的多样性，我觉得还是改改节奏比较好。
01:31:739 - 这边也有鼓，要不5做个kick？

主难度
00:09:989 (3) - NC
顺便1212那边确实不太好，实在不行01:19:323 (1,2) - 用滑条吧
Imouto koko
95 posts
Joined January 2016
Imouto koko

sahuang wrote:

Recheck

koko
01:18:656 (3,4,5,6,1,2) - 这边一堆滑条完全无法体现音乐的多样性，我觉得还是改改节奏比较好。 把后面两个滑条换成note来强调了加重的鼓了。
01:31:739 - 这边也有鼓，要不5做个kick？ 改啦。
thx for mod!

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215,69,49823,1,2,0:0:0:0:
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141,276,50489,1,2,0:0:0:0:
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Dored
287 posts
Joined May 2017
Topic Starter
Dored

sahuang wrote:

Recheck

主难度
00:09:989 (3) - NC Fixed
顺便1212那边确实不太好，实在不行01:19:323 (1,2) - 用滑条吧 Fixed
Thanks for mod!
sahuang
2,294 posts
Joined December 2014
sahuang
Seems good to me as the first map going for rank. Good luck ^^
Dored
287 posts
Joined May 2017
Topic Starter
Dored
Thanks for bubbled!
Kencho
952 posts
Joined August 2013
Kencho
[Normal]
  1. 01:29:156 (1,1) - DS遠了

[koko's Insane]
  1. 00:14:823 (2) - 好奇妙的形狀啊，然而還不如直接三點滑條包好1，現在這樣不美觀
  2. 00:51:989 (1) - 物件超出屏幕了
  3. 整體來說還行，不過小細節就不吐槽了，就是大致的質量還有點進步空間的意思，特別是物件之間的結合性和flow方面

[Oiso's Insane]
  1. 00:23:656 (3,4,5,6,1) - 有點難打，不考慮再縮小一下間距嗎
  2. 01:28:489 (3,5) - overlap了
  3. 三角形大法好

[Alice Gram]
  1. 00:13:656 (2,1) - 沒疊好
  2. 00:18:656 (1,4) - ^
  3. 很整潔的排版，好
其他難度都大致沒問題。圖很不錯，現在新人作圖這麼厲害的嗎，我都快跟不上時代了
Firika
Nomination Assessment Team
291 posts
Joined January 2017
Firika

Kencho wrote:

[Oiso's Insane]
  1. 00:23:656 (3,4,5,6,1) - 有點難打，不考慮再縮小一下間距嗎 嗯... DS是1,而且其实移动可以画的很小就可以打,不像直线串一定要移动很大,就不改了吧... 看很多人打的时候基本不会在这里断掉(
  2. 01:28:489 (3,5) - overlap了 Fixed √
  3. 三角形大法好 三角形大法好
谢摸 :)
Oiso's Insane
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TitleUnicode:春音＊ベール
Artist:Ceui
ArtistUnicode:Ceui
Creator:Dored
Version:Oiso's Insane
Source:春音アリス＊グラム
Tags:Haruoto Alice*Gram Galgame Eroge Opening Short Version NanaWind Oiso Imouto koko Imouto OuO Ametrin
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Dored
287 posts
Joined May 2017
Topic Starter
Dored

Kencho wrote:

[Normal]
  1. 01:29:156 (1,1) - DS遠了


[Alice Gram]
  1. 00:13:656 (2,1) - 沒疊好
  2. 00:18:656 (1,4) - ^
  3. 很整潔的排版，好
其他難度都大致沒問題。圖很不錯，現在新人作圖這麼厲害的嗎，我都快跟不上時代了
All fixed!Thanks for mod!感谢大佬的夸奖 我还有很多不足的地方还要学习 我会继续努力的
Imouto koko
95 posts
Joined January 2016
Imouto koko

Kencho wrote:

[koko's Insane]
  1. 00:14:823 (2) - 好奇妙的形狀啊，然而還不如直接三點滑條包好1，現在這樣不美觀 本意是想通过一个红点表现曲调的变化的，不过还是改了。
  2. 00:51:989 (1) - 物件超出屏幕了 改啦。
  3. 整體來說還行，不過小細節就不吐槽了，就是大致的質量還有點進步空間的意思，特別是物件之間的結合性和flow方面
thx for mod! :)

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TitleUnicode:春音＊ベール
Artist:Ceui
ArtistUnicode:Ceui
Creator:Dored
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Source:春音アリス＊グラム
Tags:Haruoto Alice*Gram Galgame Eroge Opening Short Version NanaWind Oiso Imouto koko Imouto OuO Ametrin
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Kencho
952 posts
Joined August 2013
Kencho
Rebubbled!
MaridiuS
879 posts
Joined June 2014
MaridiuS
Oiso Insane

01:00:656 (3,4,5,6,7,8) - I really have trouble understanding why you used 2 1/4 sliders. It is not consistent with anything in the kiai, and also doesn't seem like it follows this part that well :-/
01:01:239 (8) - Also this is an overmap, by doing a triple and a jump to 01:01:323 (1) - you will emphasize it better too.

otherwise cute set.
Firika
Nomination Assessment Team
291 posts
Joined January 2017
Firika

MaridiuS wrote:

Oiso Insane

01:00:656 (3,4,5,6,7,8) - I really have trouble understanding why you used 2 1/4 sliders. It is not consistent with anything in the kiai, and also doesn't seem like it follows this part that well :-/ Maybe not the best choice, you're right. FIXED √
01:01:239 (8) - Also this is an overmap, by doing a triple and a jump to 01:01:323 (1) - you will emphasize it better too. FIXED √

Thanks for modding, its so helpful :)
Oiso's Insane
osu file format v14

[General]
AudioFilename: audio.mp3
AudioLeadIn: 0
PreviewTime: 59656
Countdown: 0
SampleSet: Soft
StackLeniency: 0.5
Mode: 0
LetterboxInBreaks: 0
WidescreenStoryboard: 1

[Editor]
Bookmarks: 48656,61136
DistanceSpacing: 1
BeatDivisor: 8
GridSize: 32
TimelineZoom: 2.999999

[Metadata]
Title:Haruoto*Veil
TitleUnicode:春音＊ベール
Artist:Ceui
ArtistUnicode:Ceui
Creator:Dored
Version:Oiso's Insane
Source:春音アリス＊グラム
Tags:Haruoto Alice*Gram Galgame Eroge Opening Short Version NanaWind Oiso Imouto koko Imouto OuO Ametrin
BeatmapID:1502250
BeatmapSetID:677875

[Difficulty]
HPDrainRate:6
CircleSize:4
OverallDifficulty:8
ApproachRate:9
SliderMultiplier:1.4
SliderTickRate:1

[Events]
//Background and Video events
0,0,"Insane2.jpg",0,0
//Break Periods
//Storyboard Layer 0 (Background)
//Storyboard Layer 1 (Fail)
//Storyboard Layer 2 (Pass)
//Storyboard Layer 3 (Foreground)
//Storyboard Sound Samples

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417,193,86489,1,2,0:0:0:0:
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170,320,95656,5,4,3:0:0:0:
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sahuang
2,294 posts
Joined December 2014
sahuang
good to go
Dored
287 posts
Joined May 2017
Topic Starter
Dored
Thank sahuang and Kencho.I'm delighted to see my first map be qualified!
Log Off Now
957 posts
Joined May 2014
Log Off Now
gratz!
papapa213
152 posts
Joined November 2014
papapa213
大哥牛逼，大哥抽烟
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287 posts
Joined May 2017
Topic Starter
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Log Off Now wrote:

gratz!
Thank you!!!
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287 posts
Joined May 2017
Topic Starter
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papapa213 wrote:

大哥牛逼，大哥抽烟
还是啪啪啪大哥比较强 我这小菜笔不敢当啊
Binguo
308 posts
Joined April 2015
Binguo
留名
Dored
287 posts
Joined May 2017
Topic Starter
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Binguo wrote:

留名
老公
Ametrin
717 posts
Joined May 2012
Ametrin
niubi
Nao Tomori
osu! Alumni
3,106 posts
Joined December 2014
Nao Tomori
why is imouto in tags twice dq dq dq!!!!!
Dored
287 posts
Joined May 2017
Topic Starter
Dored

Ametrin wrote:

niubi
您是神仙
Dored
287 posts
Joined May 2017
Topic Starter
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Naotoshi wrote:

why is imouto in tags twice dq dq dq!!!!!
emm...The GDer Imouto koko's previous ID is Imouto OuO,I just put them in tags.I forget that it's repeat lol.Don't dq plz,onegai! :cry:
Karen
2,864 posts
Joined August 2013
Karen
我觉得海星
新人一个比一个niubi，鬼知道我新人的时候都经历了些什么做一堆laji
Dored
287 posts
Joined May 2017
Topic Starter
Dored

Karen wrote:

我觉得海星
新人一个比一个niubi，鬼知道我新人的时候都经历了些什么做一堆laji
哇人格大佬 感谢夸奖 您太谦虚了
sahuang
2,294 posts
Joined December 2014
sahuang

Karen wrote:

我觉得海星
新人一个比一个niubi，鬼知道我新人的时候都经历了些什么做一堆laji
+1
Dored
287 posts
Joined May 2017
Topic Starter
Dored

sahuang wrote:

Karen wrote:

我觉得海星
新人一个比一个niubi，鬼知道我新人的时候都经历了些什么做一堆laji
+1
萨皇爷爷 感谢首泡和首心 磕头膜拜.jpg
Fushimi Rio
Fushimi Rio
新人一个比一个niubi，鬼知道我新人的时候都经历了些什么做一堆laji
Dored
287 posts
Joined May 2017
Topic Starter
Dored

Fushimi Rio wrote:

新人一个比一个niubi，鬼知道我新人的时候都经历了些什么做一堆laji
是妹桑 大佬一个比一个谦虚 吓得我都不敢吱声
MaridiuS
879 posts
Joined June 2014
MaridiuS

sahuang wrote:

Karen wrote:

我觉得海星
新人一个比一个niubi，鬼知道我新人的时候都经历了些什么做一堆laji
+1
I agree too.
zhuizhui
188 posts
Joined January 2017
zhuizhui
您
AIR
1,586 posts
Joined November 2012
AIR

sahuang wrote:

Karen wrote:

我觉得海星
新人一个比一个niubi，鬼知道我新人的时候都经历了些什么做一堆laji
+1
+1
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