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Hiromi Sato - Jiyuu no Hane

posted
Total Posts
84
I Must Decrease
913 posts
Joined June 2013
Topic Starter
I Must Decrease
This beatmap was submitted using in-game submission on 2017年6月8日 at 15:42:10

Artist: Hiromi Sato
Title: Jiyuu no Hane
Source: 月影のシミュラクル-解放の羽-
Tags: eroge visual novel dating sim game meis clauson xr kisses joker- doormat akitoshi corinn Nathan Kiss
BPM: 96
Filesize: 4064kb
Play Time: 01:52
Difficulties Available:
  1. A Feather (5.82 stars, 411 notes)
  2. Akitoshi's Normal (2.24 stars, 220 notes)
  3. Doormat's Insane (4.47 stars, 329 notes)
  4. Easy (1.47 stars, 125 notes)
  5. joker's Hard (3.3 stars, 263 notes)
  6. NK's Extra (5.33 stars, 375 notes)
Download: Hiromi Sato - Jiyuu no Hane
Information: Scores/Beatmap Listing
---------------
EROGE fuck the makers of this game blocking foreign IPs from their website just cause im a gaijin doesnt mean i dont like anime girls and am out there to soil your business and pirate everything

smh
Last edited by I Must Decrease , edited 46 times in total.
NightOwl2023
140 posts
Joined April 2016
NightOwl2023
kill me now pls
Last edited by NightOwl2023 , edited 1 time in total.
I Must Decrease
913 posts
Joined June 2013
Topic Starter
I Must Decrease
uhhhhhhhhhhhh

well
00:35:686 (3) - There is no note on this circle
00:40:686 (3) - There is no note on this circle

shes singing on those notes

the rest of the points... uhh... if it wasnt obvious it was my intention to map the sliders this way, they dont necessary need to be pointing to every note after them...

as for the "equally spaced jumps", i dont see why thats necessary, its just edgy mapping

GL with your future mods! :D
Eir_DELETED
Eir_DELETED
plz update

remap
osu file format v14

[General]
AudioFilename: audio.mp3
AudioLeadIn: 0
PreviewTime: 62170
Countdown: 0
SampleSet: Soft
StackLeniency: 0.7
Mode: 0
LetterboxInBreaks: 0
WidescreenStoryboard: 1

[Editor]
Bookmarks: 76936,108030
DistanceSpacing: 1.6
BeatDivisor: 4
GridSize: 32
TimelineZoom: 1

[Metadata]
Title:Jiyuu no Hane
TitleUnicode:自由の翅
Artist:Hiromi Sato
ArtistUnicode:佐藤ひろ美
Creator:Xexxar
Version:joker's Hard
Source:月影のシミュラクル-解放の羽
Tags:eroge visual novel dating sim game meis clauson xr
BeatmapID:1189269
BeatmapSetID:561640

[Difficulty]
HPDrainRate:5
CircleSize:3.8
OverallDifficulty:6
ApproachRate:8
SliderMultiplier:2.7
SliderTickRate:1

[Events]
//Background and Video events
0,0,"unnamed2.png",0,0
//Break Periods
//Storyboard Layer 0 (Background)
//Storyboard Layer 1 (Fail)
//Storyboard Layer 2 (Pass)
//Storyboard Layer 3 (Foreground)
//Storyboard Sound Samples

[TimingPoints]
3030,625,4,2,1,80,1,0
3030,-111.111111111111,4,2,1,80,0,0
23030,-125,4,2,1,90,0,0
27405,-125,4,2,1,60,0,0
43030,-111.111111111111,4,2,1,80,0,0
63030,-100,4,2,1,90,0,1
88030,-111.111111111111,4,2,1,80,0,0
109280,-111.111111111111,4,2,1,70,0,0
110530,-111.111111111111,4,2,1,60,0,0
111780,-111.111111111111,4,2,1,50,0,0
113030,-111.111111111111,4,2,1,40,0,0
114280,-111.111111111111,4,2,1,30,0,0
115530,-111.111111111111,4,2,1,20,0,0
116780,-111.111111111111,4,2,1,10,0,0
117717,-111.111111111111,4,2,1,5,0,0


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354,100,74123,2,0,L|213:111,2,135,2|8|2,3:2|0:0|3:2,0:0:0:0:
449,151,74905,2,0,P|451:193|439:238,1,67.5,10|2,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
356,278,75217,2,0,P|354:320|366:365,1,67.5,2|2,3:2|0:0,0:0:0:0:
254,373,75530,6,0,P|243:308|264:218,1,135,4|2,0:0|3:2,0:0:0:0:
189,154,75998,1,2,3:2:0:0:
79,208,76155,2,0,B|60:145|60:145|82:64,1,135,8|2,0:0|3:2,0:0:0:0:
169,20,76623,2,0,P|237:49|319:29,1,135,2|8,3:2|0:0,0:0:0:0:
361,138,77092,2,0,L|354:205,1,67.5,0|0,3:0|3:0,0:0:0:0:
464,174,77405,2,0,L|477:34,1,135,10|2,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
423,249,78030,6,0,B|430:358|430:358|382:330,1,135,4|2,0:0|3:2,0:0:0:0:
311,297,78498,1,2,3:2:0:0:
196,354,78655,2,0,P|190:319|196:264,1,67.5,8|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
214,181,78967,1,2,3:2:0:0:
317,211,79123,2,0,B|336:149|336:149|303:62,1,135,2|8,3:2|0:0,0:0:0:0:
218,21,79592,2,0,P|190:35|142:39,1,67.5,2|0,3:2|3:0,0:0:0:0:
186,143,79905,2,0,P|154:143|109:125,1,67.5,10|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
85,234,80217,2,0,P|56:220|24:185,1,67.5,2|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
26,304,80530,6,0,P|78:323|164:288,2,135,4|0|8,0:0|3:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
234,248,81467,1,2,3:2:0:0:
185,151,81623,2,0,B|170:107|170:107|192:9,1,135,2|8,3:2|0:0,0:0:0:0:
297,19,82092,2,0,L|284:87,1,67.5,0|0,3:3|3:3,0:0:0:0:
360,162,82405,1,8,3:2:0:0:
360,162,82561,1,0,3:2:0:0:
451,105,82717,1,8,3:2:0:0:
451,105,82873,1,0,3:2:0:0:
512,231,83030,6,0,L|376:247,2,135,4|0|8,0:0|3:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
317,326,83967,1,0,3:0:0:0:
317,326,84123,1,2,3:2:0:0:
237,251,84280,2,0,P|222:206|239:117,1,135,2|2,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
310,42,84748,2,0,L|452:53,1,135,2|0,3:2|0:0,0:0:0:0:
492,149,85217,1,2,0:0:0:0:
492,149,85373,1,2,0:0:0:0:
429,237,85530,6,0,B|367:257|299:215|299:215|260:228|227:262,1,202.5,2|0,3:2|3:3,0:0:0:0:
160,319,86155,2,0,L|150:178,1,135,10|12,3:2|0:0,0:0:0:0:
205,91,86623,1,2,3:2:0:0:
300,143,86780,2,0,P|379:133|440:180,1,135,2|2,3:2|3:2,0:0:0:0:
490,244,87248,1,2,2:0:0:0:
438,339,87405,1,10,2:0:0:0:
438,339,87561,1,8,0:0:0:0:
344,284,87717,1,8,0:0:0:0:
344,284,87873,1,8,0:0:0:0:
230,351,88030,6,0,P|183:321|106:325,1,121.499996292114,6|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
26,349,88498,1,2,0:0:0:0:
8,243,88655,2,0,L|22:120,1,121.499996292114,8|2,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
112,88,89123,2,0,P|166:116|245:99,2,121.499996292114,2|8|0,0:0|0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
183,21,89905,1,10,0:0:0:0:
264,197,90217,1,2,0:0:0:0:
264,197,90530,6,0,L|397:190,1,121.499996292114,6|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
481,181,90998,1,2,0:0:0:0:
456,288,91155,2,0,P|412:308|327:291,1,121.499996292114,8|2,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
248,268,91623,2,0,L|116:275,1,121.499996292114,2|8,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
44,221,92092,1,0,3:0:0:0:
44,221,92248,1,0,3:0:0:0:
125,143,92405,2,0,B|181:118|181:118|259:142,1,121.499996292114,10|2,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
338,302,93030,6,0,P|352:243|349:165,1,121.499996292114,6|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
341,85,93498,1,0,0:0:0:0:
252,23,93655,2,0,L|113:33,1,121.499996292114,8|2,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
142,128,94123,2,0,P|210:137|266:116,2,121.499996292114,2|8|0,0:0|2:2|3:0,0:0:0:0:
49,95,94905,1,10,0:0:0:0:
135,268,95217,1,2,0:0:0:0:
259,120,95530,6,0,L|396:126,1,121.499996292114,6|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
477,127,95998,1,2,2:0:0:0:
425,219,96155,2,0,P|358:252|304:246,1,121.499996292114,8|2,2:0|2:0,0:0:0:0:
218,227,96623,2,0,P|157:226|105:256,1,121.499996292114,2|8,2:0|2:0,0:0:0:0:
42,182,97092,2,0,B|29:147|29:147|50:54,1,121.499996292114,8|8,2:0|3:2,0:0:0:0:
235,14,97717,1,8,3:2:0:0:
235,14,97873,1,0,3:2:0:0:
286,97,98030,6,0,L|278:236,1,121.499996292114,6|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
356,277,98498,1,2,0:0:0:0:
423,191,98655,2,0,L|415:58,1,121.499996292114,8|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
330,14,99123,2,0,P|271:5|209:36,2,121.499996292114,2|8|0,0:0|0:0|3:0,0:0:0:0:
284,100,99905,1,10,0:0:0:0:
98,43,100217,1,2,0:0:0:0:
98,43,100530,6,0,L|107:173,1,121.499996292114,6|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
120,263,100998,1,2,0:0:0:0:
208,331,101155,2,0,P|280:326|329:283,1,121.499996292114,8|2,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
381,224,101623,2,0,P|462:230|509:276,1,121.499996292114,2|8,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
418,316,102092,1,0,3:0:0:0:
418,316,102248,1,0,3:0:0:0:
381,224,102405,2,0,L|394:85,1,121.499996292114,10|2,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
206,44,103030,6,0,P|138:36|80:78,1,121.499996292114,6|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
45,145,103498,1,2,0:0:0:0:
116,226,103655,2,0,L|237:210,1,121.499996292114,8|2,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
308,145,104123,2,0,P|324:87|311:20,2,121.499996292114,2|8|0,0:0|0:0|3:0,0:0:0:0:
236,210,104905,1,10,0:0:0:0:
422,156,105217,1,2,0:0:0:0:
373,344,105530,6,0,L|367:207,1,121.499996292114,6|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
308,145,105998,2,0,P|253:113|171:138,1,121.499996292114,2|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
110,164,106467,1,2,0:0:0:0:
123,271,106623,2,0,B|133:365|133:365|164:331,1,121.499996292114,2|8,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
228,285,107092,2,0,P|266:296|298:296,1,60.7499981460572
332,210,107405,2,0,P|294:221|262:221,1,60.7499981460572
239,122,107717,1,8,3:2:0:0:
239,122,107873,1,0,3:0:0:0:
373,136,108030,5,6,3:2:0:0:
256,192,108186,12,0,117717,0:0:0:0:
Altuth
94 posts
Joined May 2014
Altuth
Easy

00:28:030 (6) - NC is here, because you NC here 00:33:030 (1) -
01:01:467 (2) - Personally this one should be a repeat slider instead of 01:02:092 (3) -

Akitoshi's Normal

01:00:530 (1,2,3,4) - Sound is the same on all 4 notes. Transitioning from a 2/4 slider into 2 circles into a 2/4 slider while the music is the same is confusing.
01:25:530 (1,2,3) - This feels too hectic compared to the rest of the song. Consider reworking this pattern.

joker's Hard

00:22:092 (5,6) - Can blanket better
00:23:030 (1,2) - Have these two on top of eachother.
00:52:717 (6,7) - Make these into a slider. Too hectic for a mediocre player to read the jump between 00:52:873 (7,1) - and 00:53:030 (1,2) -
00:53:030 (1,2) - These can blanket better.
00:56:155 (2,3) - These can also blanket better.
01:02:717 (6,7) - This is fine.

Enjoyed your creative sliders, really took the map further.

A Feather

00:07:405 (5,6) - Why cant these be the same slider when 00:04:905 (5,6) - is the same?
00:09:905 (3,4) - ^
00:17:405 (5,6) - ^
00:19:905 (5,6) - ^
01:29:905 (4,5) - This is the same as in the beginning. Make these two sliders reflect that. Make them the same.
01:32:405 (5,6) - ^
01:34:123 (1,2,4,5) - This pattern is fine.
01:39:905 (5,6) - Make them the same.
01:42:405 (5,6) - ^
01:44:905 (5,6) - ^

Overall, these changes would make the beginning and end feel connected, instead of the player needing to always read a new pattern when the same beats begin. The kiai time was well structured.
iYiyo
1,107 posts
Joined January 2014
iYiyo
haihai m4m


  • [general]
  1. disable widescreen supp on every diff.
  2. hard insane and extra have 5hp which is.. idk it's not a progressive hp transition? Suggestion: Insane -> 5.5~6 ; Extra -> 6~6.5 nvm with hr is just too hard to spin xD
  3. I think going from AR 5 to AR 8 (normal->hard) is a bit too high. Consider reducing reduce ar on hard a bit.
  4. I don't know how this bpm stuff work but this song shouldn't have 192bpm? It's like totally not a 96bpm song.

    [A Feather]
  5. 00:05:217 - intended clap? you don't use it 00:07:717 - here and it doesn't seem to support the music imo
  6. 00:23:030 - why volume 90 here and then 00:27:405 - 60? Music is the same :d
  7. 00:35:530 - drum sampleset instead of additions?
  8. 00:50:530 - ^?
  9. 01:02:248 (2,3,4) - this triplet feels like it lacks of hitsounds D: try copying 01:02:248 (2) - this into 01:02:326 - here
  10. 01:27:248 (1,2,3) - I think this triplet should have similar hitsounds as ^

    [anxient's]
  11. call me when this is finished so I can mod it :o

    [joker's]
  12. 00:05:217 (6) - same as extra, remove clap for consistency... I think you copy hitsounds from extra so check them too i guess
  13. 00:17:405 (7,1) - Their heads are too close to each other. consider spacing them a bit so it's better structured as a whole.
  14. 01:47:405 - missing clap?
  15. 01:46:623 (4,5,6,7) - The spacing here feels a bit messy compared to the rest of the diff. try doing something like this? https://puu.sh/tPRQt/4e1c235863.png

    [akitoshi's]
  16. 00:31:780 - feels a bit empty to not have this with drum sampleset since you were adding them every white tick. Having 00:31:780 - & 00:32:092 - fit fine imo.
  17. 00:35:530 - drum sampleset instead of addition?

    [easy]
  18. 00:33:030 (1,2) - This distance is 1,27 which is a bit high compared to the 1.05~1.1 you were using on the whole diff. Consider reducing it a bit.
  19. 00:38:030 (1,2,3) - ^
  20. 01:36:467 (2,3,1) - imo the flow you use here it's a bit weird to follow since it's so linear, try doing some curves somewhere :d

Okay that's all from me, couldn't find much things xd However I pointed some hitsounds stuff that you might want to check and then copy to the other diffs (I think you copied them so ye) if you agree.

GL! :D
marcuddles
450 posts
Joined May 2015
marcuddles
Kill me, I suppose.

[A Feather]
about the 99,999999999999999999999999% of the mod is made of personal suggestions
  • 00:04:748 (4) - Hey I'm an aesthetic fag, maybe overlap this object with the followpoint (coord:x:156 y:253)
    00:11:936 (2,3,4) - Flows really bad in my opinion, maybe move 00:12:092 (3) - in the centre (between 2 and 4) x:300 y:381
    00:22:092 (3) - ^. I noticed that you're following the strength of the sound, but it still flows badly imo.
    00:24:592 (6) - I'd move this a bit up to use the same spacing between 00:24:123 (4,5,6) -. The followpoint should be visible, basically. Coords: x:327 y:262
    00:25:842 (4) - You should put a 1/2 slider here, if you don't follow the vocal here it feels a bit weird imo.
    00:37:717 (2) - I don't really like the way you shaped this slider to be honest, maybe make it "normal" https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/7246299
    00:42:092 (1,1,1) - These NCs doesn't make sense at all, lol. 00:42:405 (1) - This one is okay but the other ones are useless
    00:44:592 (3) - Same thing I said for 00:37:717 (2) -
    You should put a 5% volume greenline on 00:50:139 -, to silence the sliderend
    01:03:264 - ^
    01:03:967 (5) - Would be much cooler if you stack this object with 01:03:030 (1) -. If you apply this, move 01:04:123 (6) - a bit backwards, to keep the same spacing
    01:05:764 -
    01:06:467 (5) - Stack with 01:05:373 (7) - fuck half overlaps
    01:08:264 - Silence w
    01:08:655 (4) - Maybe move it to x:236 y:219 (I'm being too much an aesthetics fag but ok, I mean that you should overlap the followpoint with 01:08:030 (1) -'s sliderhead centre) https://mark101.s-ul.eu/ecQVsMLE oppai-desu
    01:11:389 - S i l e n c e
    01:11:858 - ^
    Kapp i won't mention again to silence sliderends
    01:12:248 (1) - Since the new vocal section starts here, the NC should be here, not in 01:12:405 (1) -
    01:13:342 (2) - Oh no, please. Feels horrible. You should've done this in the first kiai too.. But please, remove this >///< feels really bad
    01:13:655 (4) - Make it "normal" as said before https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/7246447
    01:14:436 (2) - ^
    01:15:842 (2) - >\\\\>
    01:17:092 (3,4) - This spacing is really low in comparison to the other ones, feels bad imo. Consider to change it. Example: https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/7246492
    01:28:655 (3) - Make it "normal" (fucking kill me)
    01:31:623 (1) - ^ a
    01:32:405 (5) - Move it to x:211 y:175, so the followpoint won't overlap with 01:32:092 (3) -
    01:37:092 (3) - As said earlier, move it in the centre of 01:36:936 (2,4) -
    01:41:467 (4) - Centrate this between 01:40:998 (2,3,4) - x D
    01:42:405 (5) - Same of 01:32:405 (5) -
kapp

[Anxient's Insane]
finish your diff u fucc

  • 00:07:092 (1) - Remove NC, doesn't make sense imo, it would also be aesthetically better if you stack it with 00:06:155 (3) -'s sliderend
    00:14:905 (1) - Remove NC ^ Okay, it's fully rankable and everything but it doesn't really make sense to me
finish your diff u fucc

[joker's Hard]
  • 00:11:155 (3) - Use the same spacing that you used for 00:10:530 (1,2) - it should become like this https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/7246597
    00:17:405 (7) - ^
    00:21:155 (3) - ^w
    00:25:842 (2) - I just got cancer tbh -- Fixed it for you, still kinda "bad" because this shape isn't very good if done on very long sliders, but kapp: https://mark101.s-ul.eu/l3qhDxox
    00:43:655 (3) - same of 00:21:155 (3). Looks like you keep doing that, so I won't mention it anymore. Explain me that uwu
    00:50:373 (1) - Feels really weird. 00:50:373 (1) -'s first sliderend is on a strong beat, you shouldn't follow music like that. Put a circle on 00:50:373 (1) - and a slider on 00:50:530 - I'm pretty sure I didn't explain that properly, tell me if you don't understand so I'll try to explain better
    00:52:405 (5) - You should put an NC here, it's another section of the song
    01:06:155 (3) - Heh, I know I said I wouldn't mention this again, but the spacing is much bigger here, you should consider to reduce it. Maybe put 01:05:998 (2) - in the centre between 01:05:530 (1,3) -.
Didn't really find anything else, I'm not good at modding hard difficulties. gomenasai>///////<

Sorry if I'm not modding the Easy and Akitoshit's Normal. I seriously have to start mapping and modding Easy/Normal diffs properly fuckmylife
a
Log Off Now
957 posts
Joined May 2014
Log Off Now
wewlAd, idk why am here but cool song!

add gders to tags xd

[A very heavy object]

00:05:217 (6) - unintentional duplicated clap (i think, theres no snare in the music here)
00:10:217 (4) - same^
00:22:873 (2) - missing clap (i think, snare hits twice here)
01:00:217 (5) - this spacing is huge for what the music is atm, i would probably reduce it so you get a blanket on 00:59:592 (3) - slider end
01:07:717 (6) - maybe make this a copy of 01:07:405 (5) - since its part of the same word? would just be a nice a e s t h e t i c
01:17:717 (6) - same^
01:19:592 (3) - this flow is kinda awkward since it creates an instant 90 degree angle, all of your other linear sliders don't force an instant direction change so would prefer if this was rotated 90 degrees maybe?
01:37:092 (3,4) - maybe ctrl + g these on the timeline? atm the flow feels a bit forced and swapping these around would follow the general jump pattern you have in the map (where snares get more emphasis/spacing than the toms)
01:38:498 (2) - maybe increase spacing here because the piano is at a higher pitch and feels more intense here?
01:38:967 (4) - maybe reduce spacing here since the piano is less intense and at a lower pitch here?

[Easy]

Pretty nice, only minor things to say, not sure why you didn't put more emphasis in the intro/outro since thats the main part of the music that stands out to me and would also help bring the object density down a little

00:05:217 (3) - unintentional duplicated clap (i think, theres no snare in the music here)
00:10:217 (3) - same^
00:11:467 (2) - this type of flow coming out of 2 could be a little tricky because it goes backwards from where the slider is facing, i would make the slider curve slightly/aim a bit more towards 3 for more i n t u i t i v i t y
00:21:467 (2) - minor but ctrl + h for above + a e s t h e t i c s
00:26:155 (4,5) - fix parallels
00:28:655 (1,3) - because of the low ar, this appears before 00:28:655 (1) - finishes, and noob players are somewhat likely to just go straight to 3 because it's closer to them, i would suggest moving this further away from 00:28:655 (1) - to avoid potential confusion
00:32:405 (4,2) - this doesn't apply here, because 1 is closer to 4 than 3
00:33:655 (2,4) - but it does apply here, so same suggestion of moving 00:36:155 (4) - a bit further away from 00:33:655 (2) -
00:38:655 (2,4) - wew^
00:59:905 (3,1) - fix parallels
01:08:655 (2) - maybe turn this into red point slider? looks a bit weird imo as it is

gl!
_handholding
3,109 posts
Joined April 2014
_handholding

nice mod xd
I Must Decrease
913 posts
Joined June 2013
Topic Starter
I Must Decrease

Mark101 wrote:

Kill me, I suppose.

[A Feather]
about the 99,999999999999999999999999% of the mod is made of personal suggestions
  • 00:04:748 (4) - Hey I'm an aesthetic fag, maybe overlap this object with the followpoint (coord:x:156 y:253) no its blanketing the slider
    00:11:936 (2,3,4) - Flows really bad in my opinion, maybe move 00:12:092 (3) - in the centre (between 2 and 4) x:300 y:381 this is intentional design
    00:22:092 (3) - ^. I noticed that you're following the strength of the sound, but it still flows badly imo. good
    00:24:592 (6) - I'd move this a bit up to use the same spacing between 00:24:123 (4,5,6) -. The followpoint should be visible, basically. Coords: x:327 y:262 its artsy
    00:25:842 (4) - You should put a 1/2 slider here, if you don't follow the vocal here it feels a bit weird imo. i dont think thats necessary
    00:37:717 (2) - I don't really like the way you shaped this slider to be honest, maybe make it "normal" https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/7246299 i dont understand, i dont want it to be perfectly vertical
    00:42:092 (1,1,1) - These NCs doesn't make sense at all, lol. 00:42:405 (1) - This one is okay but the other ones are useless this is intended to make it cleary that this is not a 1/4th stream, will consider changing though if people dont like it
    00:44:592 (3) - Same thing I said for 00:37:717 (2) - its for visuals with next slider
    You should put a 5% volume greenline on 00:50:139 -, to silence the sliderend if i must
    01:03:264 - ^
    01:03:967 (5) - Would be much cooler if you stack this object with 01:03:030 (1) -. If you apply this, move 01:04:123 (6) - a bit backwards, to keep the same spacing hurts the angle of jump on the next slider
    01:05:764 -
    01:06:467 (5) - Stack with 01:05:373 (7) - fuck half overlaps kills the pattern afterwards and is far enough out of the picture that it shouldnt be an issue
    01:08:264 - Silence w
    01:08:655 (4) - Maybe move it to x:236 y:219 (I'm being too much an aesthetics fag but ok, I mean that you should overlap the followpoint with 01:08:030 (1) -'s sliderhead centre) https://mark101.s-ul.eu/ecQVsMLE oppai-desu its blanketed to the edge corner of the red point on the slider
    01:11:389 - S i l e n c e
    01:11:858 - ^
    Kapp i won't mention again to silence sliderends
    01:12:248 (1) - Since the new vocal section starts here, the NC should be here, not in 01:12:405 (1) -
    01:13:342 (2) - Oh no, please. Feels horrible. You should've done this in the first kiai too.. But please, remove this >///< feels really bad
    01:13:655 (4) - Make it "normal" as said before https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/7246447
    01:14:436 (2) - ^
    01:15:842 (2) - >\\\\>
    01:17:092 (3,4) - This spacing is really low in comparison to the other ones, feels bad imo. Consider to change it. Example: https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/7246492 adjusted
    01:28:655 (3) - Make it "normal" (fucking kill me) fixed
    01:31:623 (1) - ^ a is fine
    01:32:405 (5) - Move it to x:211 y:175, so the followpoint won't overlap with 01:32:092 (3) - :\
    01:37:092 (3) - As said earlier, move it in the centre of 01:36:936 (2,4) -
    01:41:467 (4) - Centrate this between 01:40:998 (2,3,4) - x D its fine
    01:42:405 (5) - Same of 01:32:405 (5) -
kapp

iYiyo wrote:

haihai m4m


  • [general]
  1. disable widescreen supp on every diff.
  2. hard insane and extra have 5hp which is.. idk it's not a progressive hp transition? Suggestion: Insane -> 5.5~6 ; Extra -> 6~6.5 nvm with hr is just too hard to spin xD
  3. I think going from AR 5 to AR 8 (normal->hard) is a bit too high. Consider reducing reduce ar on hard a bit.
  4. I don't know how this bpm stuff work but this song shouldn't have 192bpm? It's like totally not a 96bpm song. blame okorin

    ya on rest basically

    [A Feather]
  5. 00:05:217 - intended clap? you don't use it 00:07:717 - here and it doesn't seem to support the music imo
  6. 00:23:030 - why volume 90 here and then 00:27:405 - 60? Music is the same :d
  7. 00:35:530 - drum sampleset instead of additions?
  8. 00:50:530 - ^?
  9. 01:02:248 (2,3,4) - this triplet feels like it lacks of hitsounds D: try copying 01:02:248 (2) - this into 01:02:326 - here
  10. 01:27:248 (1,2,3) - I think this triplet should have similar hitsounds as ^

    applied all

    [easy]
  11. 00:33:030 (1,2) - This distance is 1,27 which is a bit high compared to the 1.05~1.1 you were using on the whole diff. Consider reducing it a bit. maybe, im just trying to keep a visual pattern here though so idk...
  12. 00:38:030 (1,2,3) - ^
  13. 01:36:467 (2,3,1) - imo the flow you use here it's a bit weird to follow since it's so linear, try doing some curves somewhere :d eh i think its fine, no one cares about easys anyway hah ah h ahHAHAA

Okay that's all from me, couldn't find much things xd However I pointed some hitsounds stuff that you might want to check and then copy to the other diffs (I think you copied them so ye) if you agree.

GL! :D

Altuth wrote:

Easy

00:28:030 (6) - NC is here, because you NC here 00:33:030 (1) -
01:01:467 (2) - Personally this one should be a repeat slider instead of 01:02:092 (3) -
ya

A Feather

00:07:405 (5,6) - Why cant these be the same slider when 00:04:905 (5,6) - is the same?
00:09:905 (3,4) - ^
00:17:405 (5,6) - ^
00:19:905 (5,6) - ^
01:29:905 (4,5) - This is the same as in the beginning. Make these two sliders reflect that. Make them the same.
01:32:405 (5,6) - ^
01:34:123 (1,2,4,5) - This pattern is fine.
01:39:905 (5,6) - Make them the same.
01:42:405 (5,6) - ^
01:44:905 (5,6) - ^

REJECT ALL, nah i just dont think its necessary for the sliders to be the exact same in these patterns.

Overall, these changes would make the beginning and end feel connected, instead of the player needing to always read a new pattern when the same beats begin. The kiai time was well structured.

Log Off Now wrote:

wewlAd, idk why am here but cool song!

add gders to tags xd

[A very heavy object]

00:05:217 (6) - unintentional duplicated clap (i think, theres no snare in the music here)
00:10:217 (4) - same^
00:22:873 (2) - missing clap (i think, snare hits twice here)
01:00:217 (5) - this spacing is huge for what the music is atm, i would probably reduce it so you get a blanket on 00:59:592 (3) - slider end fixed
01:07:717 (6) - maybe make this a copy of 01:07:405 (5) - since its part of the same word? would just be a nice a e s t h e t i c
01:17:717 (6) - same^ nah, i think this is fine as is,
01:19:592 (3) - this flow is kinda awkward since it creates an instant 90 degree angle, all of your other linear sliders don't force an instant direction change so would prefer if this was rotated 90 degrees maybe?
01:37:092 (3,4) - maybe ctrl + g these on the timeline? atm the flow feels a bit forced and swapping these around would follow the general jump pattern you have in the map (where snares get more emphasis/spacing than the toms)
01:38:498 (2) - maybe increase spacing here because the piano is at a higher pitch and feels more intense here?
01:38:967 (4) - maybe reduce spacing here since the piano is less intense and at a lower pitch here?

applied most of it man im just tired of writing, message me if you have questions D:

[Easy]

Pretty nice, only minor things to say, not sure why you didn't put more emphasis in the intro/outro since thats the main part of the music that stands out to me and would also help bring the object density down a little

00:05:217 (3) - unintentional duplicated clap (i think, theres no snare in the music here)
00:10:217 (3) - same^
00:11:467 (2) - this type of flow coming out of 2 could be a little tricky because it goes backwards from where the slider is facing, i would make the slider curve slightly/aim a bit more towards 3 for more i n t u i t i v i t y im fuking out of space fam the nooblords who cant play this can suck it
00:21:467 (2) - minor but ctrl + h for above + a e s t h e t i c s already fixed
00:26:155 (4,5) - fix parallels
00:28:655 (1,3) - because of the low ar, this appears before 00:28:655 (1) - finishes, and noob players are somewhat likely to just go straight to 3 because it's closer to them, i would suggest moving this further away from 00:28:655 (1) - to avoid potential confusion
00:32:405 (4,2) - this doesn't apply here, because 1 is closer to 4 than 3
00:33:655 (2,4) - but it does apply here, so same suggestion of moving 00:36:155 (4) - a bit further away from 00:33:655 (2) -
00:38:655 (2,4) - wew^
00:59:905 (3,1) - fix parallels
01:08:655 (2) - maybe turn this into red point slider? looks a bit weird imo as it is

i dont really agree with the closer stuff, it should be ok and its a visual purpose, everything visual is fixed, wew

gl!
_handholding
3,109 posts
Joined April 2014
_handholding
edit: Changed quite a few things, HS, NC pattern etc
Update
osu file format v14

[General]
AudioFilename: audio.mp3
AudioLeadIn: 0
PreviewTime: 62139
Countdown: 0
SampleSet: Soft
StackLeniency: 0.7
Mode: 0
LetterboxInBreaks: 0
WidescreenStoryboard: 1

[Editor]
Bookmarks: 12999,97999
DistanceSpacing: 1.2
BeatDivisor: 4
GridSize: 32
TimelineZoom: 1.6

[Metadata]
Title:Jiyuu no Hane
TitleUnicode:自由の翅
Artist:Hiromi Sato
ArtistUnicode:佐藤ひろ美
Creator:Xexxar
Version:Kisses' Extra
Source:月影のシミュラクル-解放の羽
Tags:eroge visual novel dating sim game meis clauson xr
BeatmapID:1209987
BeatmapSetID:561640

[Difficulty]
HPDrainRate:5
CircleSize:4
OverallDifficulty:7
ApproachRate:9.3
SliderMultiplier:3.59999990463257
SliderTickRate:1

[Events]
//Background and Video events
0,0,"unnamed2.png",0,0
//Break Periods
//Storyboard Layer 0 (Background)
//Storyboard Layer 1 (Fail)
//Storyboard Layer 2 (Pass)
//Storyboard Layer 3 (Foreground)
//Storyboard Sound Samples

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Nao Tomori
osu! Alumni
3,106 posts
Joined December 2014
Nao Tomori
[feather]
00:42:842 (3) - can u get rid of this it isnt in the song
if u want to keep the emphasis u can do this or something https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/7307445

01:14:874 (4,5,6,7) - these are too big imo cuz the other ones have loud drums and vocals and this one only has vocals

01:16:905 (2) - this ones too big as well theres like nothing on it lo

01:25:967 (2) - same

01:37:217 (4) - this is awkward af to have a wide angle into cuz its really quiet and not worth having that emphasis on. you could just make 3 into a slider instead.

01:29:874 (4) - the literal only red point slider nice

[kisses]

00:07:374 (5,6) - 00:17:374 (5,6) - holy moly can you make this into 2 1/2 slider please
it's really really obvious that that the end is stronger than the circle after it lol

00:42:061 (2,3,1) - this is the most awkward pattern to play in the history of osu standard can you just put a normal 1/3 quad please

00:47:842 (5) - this note appears to be ignored everywhere else so please delete it

01:11:592 (1) - doesn't need finish imo

i think there's some inconsistency in when you stack and dont stack in the part after the kiai, like at 01:28:936 (4,1) - vs 01:33:467 (2,3) - vs 01:36:436 (4,1) -
you then repeat it so it isn't technically inconsistent i guess but i think you should just do similar things for all of them instead

[anxient]
00:15:186 - missing clap?

00:24:092 (2,1) - ctrl g on this rhythm sounds better

00:29:092 - this is strong beat
http://osu.ppy.sh/ss/7307694 better rhythm imo.

00:30:655 - i also think this section is a bit too dense.

00:36:592 (1) - u did this stacked under the repeat last time at 00:26:592 -

00:47:764 (2,4) - what are these circles lmao
00:57:764 (3,5) - same
i get ur doing it for build up but i think you should change them to triples instead since doing a quint out of a slider makes the finger polarity really awkward.

01:25:499 (1) - weird to overmap into this one since it's pretty weak. at least the other ones have a new guitar chord but this one doesnt.

01:37:686 (3) - weird angle here, kinda uncomfortable to me.

01:47:686 (2,3) - also very awkward imo

[joker]
use of claps in intro is kind of inconsistent, 00:20:186 (6) - vs 00:15:186 (6) - vs 00:07:686 -

00:17:374 (7,1) - these two look really close together, can you space them out a bit?

00:19:092 (4,5) - this blanket looks kind of bad

00:43:467 (2) - 00:48:467 (2) - these sound overmapped, or not very major. better to leave these out imo. like here 00:55:967 -

01:08:467 (2,3) - can you space these same from 1 so it looks better

01:37:530 - weird to ignore this note, it's followed earlier with circles.

01:47:061 (5,6) - these are also very close together.

[akitoshi]
might be okay to use tick rate 2 to give the 1/1 sliders some feedback. since it's half bpm mapped.

ya

[easy]
tick rate 2 same thing

[other stuff]

all of the ending spinners are way too long, can you just end it earlier or take them out or something, they should be between 4 and 15k score or so and they currently go to between 30 and 55k
_handholding
3,109 posts
Joined April 2014
_handholding

Nao Tomori wrote:

[kisses]

00:07:374 (5,6) - 00:17:374 (5,6) - holy moly can you make this into 2 1/2 slider please
it's really really obvious that that the end is stronger than the circle after it lol I mapped each snare to be different to it's preceding note so I that's the logic behind the 1/1 slider

00:42:061 (2,3,1) - this is the most awkward pattern to play in the history of osu standard can you just put a normal 1/3 quad please My logic behind this is that it's an extra diff but ok

00:47:842 (5) - this note appears to be ignored everywhere else so please delete it IT'S MY STYLE!!! No but seriously I wanted it for the raw emphasis on 00:47:999 (1) which is mapped as a circle where the other notes on 00:47:999 are sliders plus I do think the current rhythm of 00:47:999 (1,2) follows the song really well and if I were to omit 00:47:842 (5) it would play and flow really weirdly . I also added this note and did something similar at 00:50:342 (5) . Honestly I kinda just wanna say it's my style (xd) since I do this kind of thing a lot, e.g. 00:27:842 (3,1)

01:11:592 (1) - doesn't need finish imo but a finish exists here in the other diffs as well and you didn't point it out in the other diffs

i think there's some inconsistency in when you stack and dont stack in the part after the kiai, like at 01:28:936 (4,1) - vs 01:33:467 (2,3) - vs 01:36:436 (4,1) -
you then repeat it so it isn't technically inconsistent i guess but i think you should just do similar things for all of them instead This is the same as the first part of the song, I'm surprised you didn't pick up on that. Basically I had a thought process for each stack but I cba to write a whole paragraph why tbh :V a tl;dr of it would be "for playability"
Update
osu file format v14

[General]
AudioFilename: audio.mp3
AudioLeadIn: 0
PreviewTime: 62139
Countdown: 0
SampleSet: Soft
StackLeniency: 0.7
Mode: 0
LetterboxInBreaks: 0
WidescreenStoryboard: 1

[Editor]
Bookmarks: 12999,97999
DistanceSpacing: 1.2
BeatDivisor: 4
GridSize: 32
TimelineZoom: 1.6

[Metadata]
Title:Jiyuu no Hane
TitleUnicode:自由の翅
Artist:Hiromi Sato
ArtistUnicode:佐藤ひろ美
Creator:Xexxar
Version:Kisses' Extra
Source:月影のシミュラクル-解放の羽
Tags:eroge visual novel dating sim game meis clauson xr
BeatmapID:1209987
BeatmapSetID:-1

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Eir_DELETED
Eir_DELETED

Altuth wrote:

Easy

joker's Hard

00:22:092 (5,6) - Can blanket better
00:23:030 (1,2) - Have these two on top of eachother.
00:52:717 (6,7) - Make these into a slider. Too hectic for a mediocre player to read the jump between 00:52:873 (7,1) - and 00:53:030 (1,2) - i'd like to emphasize cymbal sound, keep
00:53:030 (1,2) - These can blanket better.
00:56:155 (2,3) - These can also blanket better.
01:02:717 (6,7) - This is fine. thanks :3

Enjoyed your creative sliders, really took the map further.

iYiyo wrote:

haihai m4m

[notice]

  • [joker's]
  1. 00:05:217 (6) - same as extra, remove clap for consistency... I think you copy hitsounds from extra so check them too i guess yeah, i didnt have time to check hitsound when i made my hard diff... I'll recheck later
  2. 00:17:405 (7,1) - Their heads are too close to each other. consider spacing them a bit so it's better structured as a whole.
  3. 01:47:405 - missing clap?
  4. 01:46:623 (4,5,6,7) - The spacing here feels a bit messy compared to the rest of the diff. try doing something like this? https://puu.sh/tPRQt/4e1c235863.png

Mark101 wrote:

Kill me, I suppose.

[joker's Hard]
  • 00:11:155 (3) - Use the same spacing that you used for 00:10:530 (1,2) - it should become like this https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/7246597
    00:17:405 (7) - ^
    00:21:155 (3) - ^w
    00:25:842 (2) - I just got cancer tbh -- Fixed it for you, still kinda "bad" because this shape isn't very good if done on very long sliders, but kapp: https://mark101.s-ul.eu/l3qhDxox im following vocal
    00:43:655 (3) - same of 00:21:155 (3). Looks like you keep doing that, so I won't mention it anymore. Explain me that uwu
    00:50:373 (1) - Feels really weird. 00:50:373 (1) -'s first sliderend is on a strong beat, you shouldn't follow music like that. Put a circle on 00:50:373 (1) - and a slider on 00:50:530 - I'm pretty sure I didn't explain that properly, tell me if you don't understand so I'll try to explain better
    00:52:405 (5) - You should put an NC here, it's another section of the song i should put NC each 1 mesure
    01:06:155 (3) - Heh, I know I said I wouldn't mention this again, but the spacing is much bigger here, you should consider to reduce it. Maybe put 01:05:998 (2) - in the centre between 01:05:530 (1,3) -.
a

Nao Tomori wrote:

[feather]
[joker]
use of claps in intro is kind of inconsistent, 00:20:186 (6) - vs 00:15:186 (6) - vs 00:07:686 -

00:17:374 (7,1) - these two look really close together, can you space them out a bit?

00:19:092 (4,5) - this blanket looks kind of bad

00:43:467 (2) - 00:48:467 (2) - these sound overmapped, or not very major. better to leave these out imo. like here 00:55:967 -

01:08:467 (2,3) - can you space these same from 1 so it looks better

01:37:530 - weird to ignore this note, it's followed earlier with circles.

01:47:061 (5,6) - these are also very close together.

[other stuff]

all of the ending spinners are way too long, can you just end it earlier or take them out or something, they should be between 4 and 15k score or so and they currently go to between 30 and 55k
no reply = fixed
thanks guys!
sry for late
osu file format v14

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AudioLeadIn: 0
PreviewTime: 62170
Countdown: 0
SampleSet: Soft
StackLeniency: 0.7
Mode: 0
LetterboxInBreaks: 0
WidescreenStoryboard: 1

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DistanceSpacing: 1.6
BeatDivisor: 4
GridSize: 32
TimelineZoom: 1

[Metadata]
Title:Jiyuu no Hane
TitleUnicode:自由の翅
Artist:Hiromi Sato
ArtistUnicode:佐藤ひろ美
Creator:Xexxar
Version:joker's Hard
Source:月影のシミュラクル-解放の羽
Tags:eroge visual novel dating sim game meis clauson xr
BeatmapID:1189269
BeatmapSetID:561640

[Difficulty]
HPDrainRate:5
CircleSize:3.8
OverallDifficulty:6
ApproachRate:8
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SliderTickRate:1

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366,37,67405,2,0,L|356:195,1,135,8|2,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
172,283,68030,6,0,B|156:218|156:218|188:142,1,135,4|2,0:0|3:2,0:0:0:0:
226,56,68498,1,2,3:2:0:0:
123,92,68655,2,0,P|91:102|42:107,1,67.5,8|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
0,198,68967,1,2,3:2:0:0:
48,293,69123,2,0,P|106:311|182:271,1,135,2|8,3:2|0:0,0:0:0:0:
271,239,69592,2,0,P|317:254|357:255,1,67.5,2|0,3:2|3:0,0:0:0:0:
454,186,69905,2,0,P|418:218|397:252,1,67.5,10|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
408,370,70217,2,0,P|397:322|378:287,1,67.5,2|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
352,185,70530,6,0,L|367:49,2,135,4|0|8,0:0|3:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
173,63,71467,1,2,3:2:0:0:
125,159,71623,2,0,P|207:163|265:115,1,135,4|8,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
293,234,72092,2,0,L|285:320,1,67.5,0|0,3:2|3:2,0:0:0:0:
194,357,72405,1,8,3:2:0:0:
194,357,72561,1,8,3:0:0:0:
126,272,72717,1,8,3:0:0:0:
126,272,72873,1,8,3:0:0:0:
25,332,73030,6,0,P|8:270|41:194,1,135,4|2,0:0|3:2,0:0:0:0:
98,121,73498,1,2,3:2:0:0:
170,201,73655,2,0,L|308:188,1,135,8|0,0:0|3:0,0:0:0:0:
358,94,74123,2,0,L|217:105,2,135,2|8|2,3:2|0:0|3:2,0:0:0:0:
450,150,74905,2,0,P|452:192|440:237,1,67.5,10|2,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
357,276,75217,2,0,P|355:318|367:363,1,67.5,2|2,3:2|0:0,0:0:0:0:
254,373,75530,6,0,P|243:308|264:218,1,135,4|2,0:0|3:2,0:0:0:0:
189,154,75998,1,2,3:2:0:0:
79,208,76155,2,0,B|60:145|60:145|82:64,1,135,8|2,0:0|3:2,0:0:0:0:
169,20,76623,2,0,P|237:49|319:29,1,135,2|8,3:2|0:0,0:0:0:0:
357,130,77092,2,0,L|350:197,1,67.5,0|0,3:0|3:0,0:0:0:0:
456,174,77405,2,0,L|469:34,1,135,10|2,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
421,250,78030,6,0,B|428:359|428:359|380:331,1,135,4|2,0:0|3:2,0:0:0:0:
311,297,78498,1,2,3:2:0:0:
218,354,78655,2,0,P|212:319|218:264,1,67.5,8|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
216,179,78967,1,2,3:2:0:0:
317,211,79123,2,0,B|336:149|336:149|303:62,1,135,2|8,3:2|0:0,0:0:0:0:
218,21,79592,2,0,P|190:35|142:39,1,67.5,2|0,3:2|3:0,0:0:0:0:
186,143,79905,2,0,P|154:143|109:125,1,67.5,10|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
85,234,80217,2,0,P|56:220|24:185,1,67.5,2|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
26,304,80530,6,0,P|78:323|164:288,2,135,4|0|8,0:0|3:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
234,248,81467,1,2,3:2:0:0:
185,151,81623,2,0,B|170:107|170:107|192:9,1,135,2|8,3:2|0:0,0:0:0:0:
297,19,82092,2,0,L|284:87,1,67.5,0|0,3:3|3:3,0:0:0:0:
360,162,82405,1,8,3:2:0:0:
360,162,82561,1,0,3:2:0:0:
451,105,82717,1,8,3:2:0:0:
451,105,82873,1,0,3:2:0:0:
512,231,83030,6,0,L|376:247,2,135,4|0|8,0:0|3:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
317,326,83967,1,0,3:0:0:0:
317,326,84123,1,2,3:2:0:0:
237,251,84280,2,0,P|222:206|239:117,1,135,2|2,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
310,42,84748,2,0,L|452:53,1,135,2|0,3:2|0:0,0:0:0:0:
492,149,85217,1,2,0:0:0:0:
492,149,85373,1,2,0:0:0:0:
429,237,85530,6,0,B|367:257|299:215|299:215|260:228|227:262,1,202.5,2|0,3:2|3:3,0:0:0:0:
160,319,86155,2,0,L|150:178,1,135,10|12,3:2|0:0,0:0:0:0:
205,91,86623,1,2,3:2:0:0:
300,143,86780,2,0,P|379:133|440:180,1,135,2|2,3:2|3:2,0:0:0:0:
490,244,87248,1,2,2:0:0:0:
438,339,87405,1,10,2:0:0:0:
438,339,87561,1,8,0:0:0:0:
344,284,87717,1,8,0:0:0:0:
344,284,87873,1,8,0:0:0:0:
230,351,88030,6,0,P|183:321|106:325,1,121.499996292114,6|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
26,349,88498,1,2,0:0:0:0:
11,252,88655,2,0,L|25:129,1,121.499996292114,8|2,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
111,87,89123,2,0,P|165:115|244:98,2,121.499996292114,2|8|0,0:0|0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
184,22,89905,1,10,0:0:0:0:
264,197,90217,1,2,0:0:0:0:
264,197,90530,6,0,L|397:190,1,121.499996292114,6|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
481,181,90998,1,2,0:0:0:0:
457,275,91155,2,0,P|413:295|328:278,1,121.499996292114,8|2,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
246,267,91623,2,0,L|114:274,1,121.499996292114,2|8,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
44,221,92092,1,0,3:0:0:0:
44,221,92248,1,0,3:0:0:0:
125,143,92405,2,0,B|181:118|181:118|259:142,1,121.499996292114,10|2,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
338,302,93030,6,0,P|352:243|349:165,1,121.499996292114,6|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
342,85,93498,1,0,0:0:0:0:
260,29,93655,2,0,L|121:39,1,121.499996292114,8|2,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
150,134,94123,2,0,P|218:143|274:122,2,121.499996292114,2|8|0,0:0|2:2|3:0,0:0:0:0:
57,100,94905,1,10,0:0:0:0:
139,275,95217,1,2,0:0:0:0:
267,126,95530,6,0,L|404:132,1,121.499996292114,6|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
485,135,95998,1,2,2:0:0:0:
434,218,96155,2,0,P|367:251|313:245,1,121.499996292114,8|2,2:0|2:0,0:0:0:0:
226,228,96623,2,0,P|165:227|113:257,1,121.499996292114,2|8,2:0|2:0,0:0:0:0:
46,185,97092,2,0,B|33:150|33:150|54:57,1,121.499996292114,8|8,2:0|3:2,0:0:0:0:
131,11,97561,1,0,0:0:0:0:
224,36,97717,2,0,P|257:36|297:24,1,60.7499981460572,8|0,3:2|3:2,3:2:0:0:
275,149,98030,6,0,L|267:288,1,121.499996292114,6|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
364,284,98498,1,2,0:0:0:0:
417,200,98655,2,0,L|409:67,1,121.499996292114,8|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
330,14,99123,2,0,P|271:5|209:36,2,121.499996292114,2|8|0,0:0|0:0|3:0,0:0:0:0:
284,100,99905,1,10,0:0:0:0:
98,43,100217,1,2,0:0:0:0:
98,43,100530,6,0,L|107:173,1,121.499996292114,6|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
120,263,100998,1,2,0:0:0:0:
195,324,101155,2,0,P|267:319|316:276,1,121.499996292114,8|2,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
381,224,101623,2,0,P|462:230|509:276,1,121.499996292114,2|8,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
418,316,102092,1,0,3:0:0:0:
418,316,102248,1,0,3:0:0:0:
381,224,102405,2,0,L|394:85,1,121.499996292114,10|2,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
206,44,103030,6,0,P|138:36|80:78,1,121.499996292114,6|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
45,145,103498,1,2,0:0:0:0:
110,217,103655,2,0,L|231:201,1,121.499996292114,8|2,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
309,144,104123,2,0,P|325:86|312:19,2,121.499996292114,2|8|0,0:0|0:0|3:0,0:0:0:0:
230,201,104905,1,10,0:0:0:0:
422,156,105217,1,2,0:0:0:0:
373,344,105530,6,0,L|367:207,1,121.499996292114,6|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
319,138,105998,1,0,0:0:0:0:
249,68,106155,2,0,P|184:50|121:91,1,121.499996292114,8|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
97,160,106623,2,0,B|107:254|107:254|138:220,1,121.499996292114,2|8,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
215,213,107092,2,0,P|253:224|285:224,1,60.7499981460572
304,120,107405,2,0,P|266:131|234:131,1,60.7499981460572,8|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
250,38,107717,1,8,3:2:0:0:
250,38,107873,1,0,3:0:0:0:
374,72,108030,5,6,3:2:0:0:
256,192,108186,12,0,117717,0:0:0:0:
I Must Decrease
913 posts
Joined June 2013
Topic Starter
I Must Decrease

Nao Tomori wrote:

[feather]
00:42:842 (3) - can u get rid of this it isnt in the song k
if u want to keep the emphasis u can do this or something https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/7307445

01:14:874 (4,5,6,7) - these are too big imo cuz the other ones have loud drums and vocals and this one only has vocals what other one, this is fine

01:16:905 (2) - this ones too big as well theres like nothing on it lo k mom

01:25:967 (2) - same i think this is fine cause its in the build up

01:37:217 (4) - this is awkward af to have a wide angle into cuz its really quiet and not worth having that emphasis on. you could just make 3 into a slider instead. i did this 3 other times why dont u complain for them lo

01:29:874 (4) - the literal only red point slider nice 00:07:374 (5) -



[easy]
tick rate 2 same thing sure

[other stuff]

all of the ending spinners are way too long, can you just end it earlier or take them out or something, they should be between 4 and 15k score or so and they currently go to between 30 and 55k maybe if i can find a good way to do this
Anxient
1,573 posts
Joined June 2014
Anxient

Nao Tomori wrote:

[anxient]
00:15:186 - missing clap? - i dont think so

00:24:092 (2,1) - ctrl g on this rhythm sounds better - not really? i wanna put emphasis in the bass 00:24:249 -

00:29:092 - this is strong beat - if i did that, i would be ignoring 00:29:249 - this. i dont plan on doing that ;x
http://osu.ppy.sh/ss/7307694 better rhythm imo.

00:30:655 - i also think this section is a bit too dense. - me too.

00:36:592 (1) - u did this stacked under the repeat last time at 00:26:592 - crap, youre right. fixed

00:47:764 (2,4) - what are these circles lmao - god
00:57:764 (3,5) - same - dammit
i get ur doing it for build up but i think you should change them to triples instead since doing a quint out of a slider makes the finger polarity really awkward. - made em all triples. im not crazy theres the beat D:

01:25:499 (1) - weird to overmap into this one since it's pretty weak. at least the other ones have a new guitar chord but this one doesnt. - yeah i know. removed

01:37:686 (3) - weird angle here, kinda uncomfortable to me. - tfw curve slider

01:47:686 (2,3) - also very awkward imo - fixed

all of the ending spinners are way too long, can you just end it earlier or take them out or something, they should be between 4 and 15k score or so and they currently go to between 30 and 55k - shrank mine by 1/1
thanks hubby http://puu.sh/u3Evw/2036a97329.osu
Nao Tomori
osu! Alumni
3,106 posts
Joined December 2014
Nao Tomori
did stuff with 3/4 sliders and changed kisses diff to od8

also spinner length
Akitoshi
2,687 posts
Joined August 2014
Akitoshi
for the reply thingy, Xexxar fixed stuffs for me before the bubble. Thanks :)
_handholding
3,109 posts
Joined April 2014
_handholding
I keep confusing akitoshi with snownino
Nao Tomori
osu! Alumni
3,106 posts
Joined December 2014
Nao Tomori
i keep confusing kisses with kisses
Genryuu Kaiko
197 posts
Joined June 2013
Genryuu Kaiko
tilt the map 5 degrees or i will tilt ecks dee
SnowNiNo_
Elite Mapper: Aspirant
2,108 posts
Joined April 2013
SnowNiNo_

Kisses wrote:

I keep confusing akitoshi with snownino
same
Akitoshi
2,687 posts
Joined August 2014
Akitoshi

SnowNiNo_ wrote:

Kisses wrote:

I keep confusing akitoshi with snownino
same
same
Linada
995 posts
Joined November 2014
Linada

Akitoshi wrote:

SnowNiNo_ wrote:

same
same
same
I Must Decrease
913 posts
Joined June 2013
Topic Starter
I Must Decrease
wtf happened to my thread
Seijiro
osu! Alumni
3,438 posts
Joined April 2013
Seijiro
let's see...
My main concerns are probably on structure, since as it is now it feels to me that you guys just... went with the flow and that's it

General


  1. this is probably just me and it is not necessarily unrankable, but considering the song's genre (what is this? Something like a mixture of pop and rock? idk) and the songs general atmosphere Í believe that a girl sitting in a car is not that great.
    Idk the game this is from so I have no clue what pictures you can use of it (it's eroge after all), but I'm pretty sure there is a better BG somewhere to represent the song's energy.

________________



A Feather


  1. 00:04:092 (1,2) - minor, but should this NC be switched? There is a strong beat (and hitsound) on your 2, yet the combo starts on the weak beat on 1
  2. 00:06:905 (2,3) - this rhythm is pretty similar to before, so I don't see why this needs such low spacing between 00:06:592 (1,2) - . Maybe Ctrl G 2,3?
  3. 00:06:592 (1,2,3,4,5,6) - since I'm here I might as well start picking on structure.
    From what I can tell, this pattern is representing a similar rhythm (if not identical) in the song to 00:04:092 (1,2,3,4,5,6) - (but they are differently mapped, not rhythm, but aesthetics and consequently, structure).
    Now... if I take a look to this pattern from 10,000 feet and see this, what kind of references or meanings can I get from it?
    What I mean is that objects should be connected one to each other via some link, like forming a certain line or geometric figure. As far as I can analyze this, I can just see... this. Idk if there is any deeper meaning to it, but if it is not intuitive it's not a good thing imo (you don't have much time to think about a pattern in gameplay, so if it isn't recognizeable it will feel random no matter what reasoning you put into it).
    I'm obviously not saying to use geometry everywhere (that sucks if overdone anyway), but I'd like to see some general concept that all objects into a combo share. If you do that you'll still have structure without the need of making geometric stuff at all: I call that free-style or simply fluid structure, because connections are present, but not in a rigid manner as geometry would ask for.
  4. 00:06:436 (4,1) - it is rare to find this sort of flow, since you usually don't make jumps on sliders going the other way around.
    Few examples of what I mean: 00:03:467 (2,3) - 00:03:936 (4,1) - 00:04:717 (4,5) - 00:05:967 (2,3) - and so on.
    In this case, the slider body is clearly against the jump and this makes creates a weak emphasis imo. You could Ctrl G 1 and fix it a bit using just flow, but moving things around might work way better.
    Using this suggestion, here's also a practical example of how structure would improve the whole blue combo I mentioned above: link
  5. 00:12:374 (1,2,1,2) - probably personal, but it looks to me you considered this part of the song a bit differently than what the song plays.
    The reason I say this is because 00:12:374 - seems to be the most "open" sound. I translate this as "high pitch" for drum and by how this whole rhythm plays I get the feeling you'd have a descending scale from 00:12:374 - and one again the same emphasis from the start on 00:12:999 - (yeah, confusing stuff, sorry I can't explain it better than this).
    If I were to give a pitch vote, it would be like... 00:12:374 - 7 00:12:530 - 5 00:12:686 - 4 00:12:842 - 4 00:12:999 - 7, there fore something like this would work better to express the song (yeah, again geometric stuff, but it is easier for me to show it using this sort of stuff. Take just the general meaning of it, not the exact example I give you).
  6. 00:22:374 (1,2,1,2,1) - same ^
  7. 00:16:436 (4,1) - once again, that jump + slider body that contradicts most of the other similar jumps like that (and which is weak in emphasis)
  8. 00:02:999 - 00:22:999 - what I noticed about structure is that you also sort of ignore how this part of the song uses like... 2-3 kinds of rhythm, yet your patterns keep changing a lot (not that I can tell exactly what they are changing into tho, but whatever...)
  9. 00:25:811 (4,5) - not really the best transition fro one instrument to another, but I guess it is not a big deal anyway, so nvm
  10. 00:42:061 (1,1,1,1) - you probably don't need such combo-ing anyway. Spacing and the song's general atmosphere should make this readable
  11. the rest is just everything all over again. More specifically, structure keeps lacking here and there in every pattern.

________________



I was about to mod all of them, but it's literally the same stuff I mentioned for 00:06:592 (1,2,3,4,5,6) - (with relative screen) on the highest diff.
I just want to add some little things tho:

Kisses: after I told you the style on Harumodoki was good it feels like you got carried away and didn't care as much about this map since I don't see the free structure you had on that at all

Anxient: maybe use less NCs (like 00:11:124 (1,1) - or 00:04:874 (1) - or 00:16:124 (1,1) - and so on). Once you reduce them you should be able to see more chances to structure the map better (the straight sliders style is cool as a concept, but don't place them "just because" please, because it is noticeable)

joker: apart from structure, keep an eye on forced flows, like 00:22:999 (1,2) - or 00:32:999 (1,2) - . Lower diffs should always strive for natural flows unless the song really demands a forced flow (and this almost never happens anyway)

Akitoshi: some rhythms felt a bit strange (01:03:467 - like skipping drum beats even tho you started on that, or 01:08:467 - skipping vocals for the same reasons). Structure can improve here as well, obviously.

Easy: 00:03:936 (2) - I would have made this start at 00:04:092 - instead, since that second drum beat seems stronger (just minor)



Anyway, if you want me to spend a few days making screens out of this mapset trying to explain what you guys tried to do (which, as far as I can tell, isn't that much anyway considering your patterns) I could, but I don't want to tbh.
I'm saying all this because I would expect more from experienced mappers like you (for sure Kisses, Akitoshi, Xexxar and Anxient have ranked maps, dunno about joker, but it doesn't change much my statement).
This sort of attempt could have been decent as a "first time trying to rank a map" imo, but not now, sorry.
I Must Decrease
913 posts
Joined June 2013
Topic Starter
I Must Decrease
lol

MrSergio wrote:

let's see...
My main concerns are probably on structure, since as it is now it feels to me that you guys just... went with the flow and that's it

General


  1. this is probably just me and it is not necessarily unrankable, but considering the song's genre (what is this? Something like a mixture of pop and rock? idk) and the songs general atmosphere Í believe that a girl sitting in a car is not that great.
    Idk the game this is from so I have no clue what pictures you can use of it (it's eroge after all), but I'm pretty sure there is a better BG somewhere to represent the song's energy. its a high res cg from the game. I used this one as there were only 2 others available at this quality.

________________



A Feather


  1. 00:04:092 (1,2) - minor, but should this NC be switched? There is a strong beat (and hitsound) on your 2, yet the combo starts on the weak beat on 1 no, i wanted to accentuate the jump to 1, as this pattern was often stressed.
  2. 00:06:905 (2,3) - this rhythm is pretty similar to before, so I don't see why this needs such low spacing between 00:06:592 (1,2) - . Maybe Ctrl G 2,3? i wanted this flow direction, the spacing being low is a result of my structure which put 00:05:967 (2,3,2) - in a vertical line. If it wasnt already obvious, it was my objective to create a very linear map in that perspective, that used alot of horizontal and vertical lines.
  3. 00:06:592 (1,2,3,4,5,6) - since I'm here I might as well start picking on structure.
    00:05:967 (2,3,2) - are in a vertical line and I wanted to center my structure around this. You'll notice that 00:06:436 (4,5) - are overlapped, 00:07:061 (3,4) - are evenly variable in distance from this vertical line that was formed with those objects. You'll also notice that each note in this pattern has a very specific and clean amount of follow points in between them. 1-2 there are 2, 2-3 4, 3-4 2, etc. I tend to be very careful to try to make my follow points clean visually.

  4. 00:06:436 (4,1) - it is rare to find this sort of flow, since you usually don't make jumps on sliders going the other way around.
    i do this intentionally at every instance of this sound the piano makes: 00:06:436 (4,1) - , 00:16:436 (4,1) - , 01:31:436 (4,1) - , 01:41:436 (4,1) - , given that there is consistency, i dont see how me intentionally doing this pattern to prompt a specific motion is an issue that needs being addressed or changed.

  5. 00:12:374 (1,2,1,2) - probably personal, but it looks to me you considered this part of the song a bit differently than what the song plays.
    im sorry what is your objective opinion that the song plays this in a specific way that must be followed? 00:12:530 (2,2) - are the same drum beat, they're weaker than the 1's, so i made them stacked, where as i gave 00:12:374 (1,1,1) - a triangle pattern for aesthetic. Let me remind you again that this is intended and consistent: 00:22:374 (1,2,1,2,1) - , 01:37:374 (1,2,1,2,1) - , 01:47:374 (1,2,1,2,1) -


    The reason I say this is because 00:12:374 - seems to be the most "open" sound. I translate this as "high pitch" for drum and by how this whole rhythm plays I get the feeling you'd have a descending scale from 00:12:374 - and one again the same emphasis from the start on 00:12:999 - (yeah, confusing stuff, sorry I can't explain it better than this).
    If I were to give a pitch vote, it would be like... 00:12:374 - 7 00:12:530 - 5 00:12:686 - 4 00:12:842 - 4 00:12:999 - 7, there fore something like this would work better to express the song (yeah, again geometric stuff, but it is easier for me to show it using this sort of stuff. Take just the general meaning of it, not the exact example I give you).
  6. 00:22:374 (1,2,1,2,1) - same ^ addressed
  7. 00:16:436 (4,1) - once again, that jump + slider body that contradicts most of the other similar jumps like that (and which is weak in emphasis) addressed
  8. 00:02:999 - 00:22:999 - what I noticed about structure is that you also sort of ignore how this part of the song uses like... 2-3 kinds of rhythm, yet your patterns keep changing a lot (not that I can tell exactly what they are changing into tho, but whatever...) i've pointed out some purposes of my structure
  9. 00:25:811 (4,5) - not really the best transition fro one instrument to another, but I guess it is not a big deal anyway, so nvm dont see why you pointed this out then
  10. 00:42:061 (1,1,1,1) - you probably don't need such combo-ing anyway. Spacing and the song's general atmosphere should make this readable i dont really agree, i think its very hard to read. if i can supply something that helps with sight reading this versus breaking there, I'd like to.
  11. the rest is just everything all over again. More specifically, structure keeps lacking here and there in every pattern. ok

________________




Anyway, if you want me to spend a few days making screens out of this mapset trying to explain what you guys tried to do (which, as far as I can tell, isn't that much anyway considering your patterns) I could, but I don't want to tbh.
I'm saying all this because I would expect more from experienced mappers like you (for sure Kisses, Akitoshi, Xexxar and Anxient have ranked maps, dunno about joker, but it doesn't change much my statement).
This sort of attempt could have been decent as a "first time trying to rank a map" imo, but not now, sorry.
I find it quite rude that you're calling this a decent attempt for a first time ranking a map. That's needless bashing.

You also state my structure is bad and give one example. Is it sufficient for me to explain that one example as to why there is structure and then I can proceed with ranking as normal?

(also im disappointed with how half ass this mod is as you only took the time to look at 25 seconds of one diff before deciding that it was personally unfit for ranking.)
Last edited by I Must Decrease , edited 5 times in total.
Shiirn
2,896 posts
Joined August 2010
Shiirn
I'm bored and i enjoy verbally abusing GMTs for shits and giggles and because I think sergio needs a good damn slap in the back of the head because he's getting to be a bit of a presumptuous and arrogant prick.


MrSergio wrote:

let's see...
My main concerns are probably on structure, since as it is now it feels to me that you guys just... went with the flow and that's it Flow is not the end-all-to-be-all standard. Even glancing at this map shows that it has an abundance of structure, just because you can't see it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. The patterns reference eachother like crazy, they just aren't direct copies of one another's flow because that's not the point of the map. You're one sentence in and you've already completely misunderstood the entire theme of the map's structure and flow so honestly you could have just stopped here and saved everyone some time.

General


  1. this is probably just me and it is not necessarily unrankable, but considering the song's genre (what is this? Something like a mixture of pop and rock? idk) and the songs general atmosphere Í believe that a girl sitting in a car is not that great.
    Idk the game this is from so I have no clue what pictures you can use of it (it's eroge after all), but I'm pretty sure there is a better BG somewhere to represent the song's energy. This is literally a CG directly from the source eroge so i don't think you can really get any more relevant. The other CGs from the game are just as tame, it's not a very actiony story. The song itself isn't all that full of energy either.... it's pop/rock but it's hardly a headbanger.

________________



A Feather


  1. 00:04:092 (1,2) - minor, but should this NC be switched? There is a strong beat (and hitsound) on your 2, yet the combo starts on the weak beat on 1 This can honestly go either way. The guitar is starting a new pattern on his current 1, but i don't blame you for thinking "the drums are all that matters" and they start on 2. I honestly think that 1 is the better choice as he's clearly following the guitar more than the drums, but this can honestly go either way without much trouble. The point is: Is it consistent? It is. So it's fine.
  2. 00:06:905 (2,3) - this rhythm is pretty similar to before, so I don't see why this needs such low spacing between 00:06:592 (1,2) - . Maybe Ctrl G 2,3? The music's pitch is going down so the spacing is going down. How can you not see that?
  3. 00:06:592 (1,2,3,4,5,6) - since I'm here I might as well start picking on structure. Please don't. You're specifically assigning your own visions of structure to the mapper. It is quite clear if you look at the map that the individual patterns reference eachother's movements while individually doing things slightly different. Just because they're different during the same rhythmical pattren does not mean they need to be the same, there are many other factors that could individually change patterns such as pitch, melody changes, numerical position in the overall structure pattern (e.g. a rhythm repeats 4 times, time 3 should be the strongest, 2 the weakest by comparison, that's done here once or twice), among other things. Your views on structure are amusingly narrow and are quite valid on most maps since most mappers are complete shite, but don't start thinking they apply universally.
    From what I can tell, this pattern is representing a similar rhythm (if not identical) in the song to 00:04:092 (1,2,3,4,5,6) - (but they are differently mapped, not rhythm, but aesthetics and consequently, structure).
    Now... if I take a look to this pattern from 10,000 feet and see this, what kind of references or meanings can I get from it?
    What I mean is that objects should be connected one to each other via some link, like forming a certain line or geometric figure. As far as I can analyze this, I can just see... this. Idk if there is any deeper meaning to it, but if it is not intuitive it's not a good thing imo (you don't have much time to think about a pattern in gameplay, so if it isn't recognizeable it will feel random no matter what reasoning you put into it).
    I'm obviously not saying to use geometry everywhere (that sucks if overdone anyway), but I'd like to see some general concept that all objects into a combo share. If you do that you'll still have structure without the need of making geometric stuff at all: I call that free-style or simply fluid structure, because connections are present, but not in a rigid manner as geometry would ask for.
  4. 00:06:436 (4,1) - it is rare to find this sort of flow, since you usually don't make jumps on sliders going the other way around. How does that make this wrong? It's a different type of flow and the map is extremely consistent with it. Just because it's not the "most comfortable ideal way to play this pattern" does not mean that it's the best way to represent the music. For fuck's sake, xexxar's actually doing way better now from my perspective and he's still being held to boring, shitty standards.
    Few examples of what I mean: 00:03:467 (2,3) - 00:03:936 (4,1) - 00:04:717 (4,5) - 00:05:967 (2,3) - and so on.
    In this case, the slider body is clearly against the jump and this makes creates a weak emphasis imo. You could Ctrl G 1 and fix it a bit using just flow, but moving things around might work way better.
    Using this suggestion, here's also a practical example of how structure would improve the whole blue combo I mentioned above: link
  5. 00:12:374 (1,2,1,2) - probably personal, but it looks to me you considered this part of the song a bit differently than what the song plays.
    The reason I say this is because 00:12:374 - seems to be the most "open" sound. I translate this as "high pitch" for drum and by how this whole rhythm plays I get the feeling you'd have a descending scale from 00:12:374 - and one again the same emphasis from the start on 00:12:999 - (yeah, confusing stuff, sorry I can't explain it better than this).
    If I were to give a pitch vote, it would be like... 00:12:374 - 7 00:12:530 - 5 00:12:686 - 4 00:12:842 - 4 00:12:999 - 7, there fore something like this would work better to express the song (yeah, again geometric stuff, but it is easier for me to show it using this sort of stuff. Take just the general meaning of it, not the exact example I give you). Remember how I said "numerical position blah blah"? Yeah, this is that. This is the end of the fourth pattern and the music resets the rhythm so he's emphasizing the final beats much more than the rest and that is perfectly fine and functional for both player and mapper. It's interpretive and takes a few polite liberties with the music I approve greatly of this technique.
  6. 00:22:374 (1,2,1,2,1) - same ^ same
  7. 00:16:436 (4,1) - once again, that jump + slider body that contradicts most of the other similar jumps like that (and which is weak in emphasis) the emphasis is not weak. he's doing the same thing he did last time. Maybe it's on purpose, maybe?
  8. 00:02:999 - 00:22:999 - what I noticed about structure is that you also sort of ignore how this part of the song uses like... 2-3 kinds of rhythm, yet your patterns keep changing a lot (not that I can tell exactly what they are changing into tho, but whatever...) The click rhythms are literally identical and the patterns have different structure just to follow changes in pitch and position in the melody...
  9. 00:25:811 (4,5) - not really the best transition fro one instrument to another, but I guess it is not a big deal anyway, so nvm He wasn't really changing instruments to begin with. The entire section follows the guitar with click focus on the vocals.
  10. 00:42:061 (1,1,1,1) - you probably don't need such combo-ing anyway. Spacing and the song's general atmosphere should make this readable yeah i actually agree with this one fuck nc spam
  11. the rest is just everything all over again. More specifically, structure keeps lacking here and there in every pattern.

________________




This sort of attempt could have been decent as a "first time trying to rank a map" imo, but not now, sorry.

I think it's insulting that you're forcibly applying your standards to mappers who have clearly exceeded your ability to judge them.


But that's just me.
hi-mei
784 posts
Joined June 2014
hi-mei
nvm
_handholding
3,109 posts
Joined April 2014
_handholding
I guess Himei won't be seeing xexxar on his next qualified
Akitoshi
2,687 posts
Joined August 2014
Akitoshi
uhm so I skipping few beats for avoiding long 1/2 chains. I mapped based 1/4 snap so yea.. Adding more both vocals and drums might get overmapped as a normal diff

I improved some structure though. Thanks!

and also maybe this can be better as bg than she's on le car imo lul

a
osu file format v14

[General]
AudioFilename: audio.mp3
AudioLeadIn: 0
PreviewTime: 62139
Countdown: 0
SampleSet: Soft
StackLeniency: 0.7
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LetterboxInBreaks: 0
WidescreenStoryboard: 0

[Editor]
Bookmarks: 13030,23030,33030,43030,53030,63030,73030,83030,88030,98030,108030,117717
DistanceSpacing: 1
BeatDivisor: 8
GridSize: 32
TimelineZoom: 1

[Metadata]
Title:Jiyuu no Hane
TitleUnicode:自由の翅
Artist:Hiromi Sato
ArtistUnicode:佐藤ひろ美
Creator:Xexxar
Version:Akitoshi's Normal
Source:月影のシミュラクル-解放の羽
Tags:eroge visual novel dating sim game meis clauson xr kisses joker- anxient akitoshi
BeatmapID:1204111
BeatmapSetID:561640

[Difficulty]
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CircleSize:3.3
OverallDifficulty:4
ApproachRate:5
SliderMultiplier:2.1
SliderTickRate:2

[Events]
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0,0,"eroge.png",0,0
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401,332,61436,1,2,3:2:0:0:
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I Must Decrease
913 posts
Joined June 2013
Topic Starter
I Must Decrease
i can switch to that bg. tho i wonder if theres a high res version with the shadow girl behind her
Miquella
462 posts
Joined September 2015
Miquella
inb4 next bubble

kisses extra

00:08:936 (4,1) - allign stack?
00:49:405 (2,3) -
00:59:405 (2,3) -
01:43:936 (4,1) -
_handholding
3,109 posts
Joined April 2014
_handholding
I don't know how Sergio wants me to justify my structure atm

@zev fixed stacks thanks

@xexxar can I have a custom bg? If so I want to use in the one in the puush pls http://puu.sh/uc3hB/9b9d9313ca.rar
Seijiro
osu! Alumni
3,438 posts
Joined April 2013
Seijiro

Xexxar wrote:

I find it quite rude that you're calling this a decent attempt for a first time ranking a map. That's needless bashing. it may be, and I apologize for that. It's just that trying to figure out a way to put it as gently as always to not hurt anyone gets tiring over time.

You also state my structure is bad and give one example. Is it sufficient for me to explain that one example as to why there is structure and then I can proceed with ranking as normal? yes

(also im disappointed with how half ass this mod is as you only took the time to look at 25 seconds of one diff before deciding that it was personally unfit for ranking.) I checked the whole map a few times and made 2 testplays (for what a testplay is worth). The fact I just did that one pattern was to avoid making a useless wall of text. I could have said the same thing in other spots too, but I didn't think it was worth the hassle to do the same thing over and over.
Also, after talking in PM with Shiirn it turned out that I might need to clarify what a bubble pop means, since this became a useless drama.
BNs can use the bubble pop as a veto for maps. While it is true that they need to state their reason to do so, it is just an opinion (if we were to just check for objective stuff we might as well just program a software or serverside script to do so, and not setting up a test and creating a new group of people for just this, right?). As such, my bubble pop meant simply "I disagree with this being ready", which therefore nullifies Tomori's bubble.

Once this happens, Tomori can't bubble again, but if someone disagrees with my opinion he just needs a "I disagree with Sergio" and can bubble again as far as I'm concerned.
I expressed my opinion and I'm open to accept someone else's opinion (as long as it is reasoned out). Also stop the fucking memes, it's becoming too retarded

If you're fine with a generic map (since yeah, it flows and plays decently), then go ahead. I just disagree with this being enough for ranking and that's the meaning of my pop.


Xexxar wrote:

MrSergio wrote:

00:06:905 (2,3) - this rhythm is pretty similar to before, so I don't see why this needs such low spacing between 00:06:592 (1,2) - . Maybe Ctrl G 2,3?
i wanted this flow direction, the spacing being low is a result of my structure which put 00:05:967 (2,3,2) - in a vertical line. If it wasnt already obvious, it was my objective to create a very linear map in that perspective, that used alot of horizontal and vertical lines.
Umh... alright, the line is there in the editor, but the fact those objects are in different combos doesn't even make me try to relate them in any particular way, not to mention in this exact way: you have a 1/1 gap between 00:06:124 (3,2) - and due to high AR 00:05:967 (2) - this one disappears quite fast, which makes it hard to notice the whole line.

Keeping this argument, I'd like to take a more wide range of analysis:
the whole part you have from 00:02:999 - to 00:12:999 - gets repeated right after it ends one more time, from 00:12:999 - 00:22:999 -
Now, assuming you have that sort of line as a structure as you said, I would think that you keep using it somewhere else in similar situations, so I went searching for possible similar patterns...
What I got was 00:08:467 (2,4,1) - (this one might actually be seen as a line as you described, although the quirky visual spacings make it a bit hard to notice) and well... there were no other spots where I could see that sort of thing, above all at 00:15:967 (2,3,2) - where it is the exact identical spot you mentioned, just repeated and with a different pitch.

Tbh I don't mind considering that as a piece of structure, but using it twice (and not even the same way, since the second time I can notice that is done at a shorter snap and rhythm) and not using it anymore even on spots where it would be great to emphasize such structure, makes it lose meaning imo.
Using such mindset I could easily take any piece of the map and once I find a line or a sort of figure I recognize (even across multiple combos) I call it a piece of structure :/


Xexxar wrote:

MrSergio wrote:

00:06:592 (1,2,3,4,5,6) - since I'm here I might as well start picking on structure.
00:05:967 (2,3,2) - are in a vertical line and I wanted to center my structure around this. You'll notice that 00:06:436 (4,5) - are overlapped, 00:07:061 (3,4) - are evenly variable in distance from this vertical line that was formed with those objects. You'll also notice that each note in this pattern has a very specific and clean amount of follow points in between them. 1-2 there are 2, 2-3 4, 3-4 2, etc. I tend to be very careful to try to make my follow points clean visually.
The thing about the vertical line is discussed already so I'll take that as a good reason here.
If we assume 00:06:436 (4,5) - this is a piece of structure then I once again get the feeling I need to double check this: as far as I could see, you do something similar for 00:04:405 (2,6) - 00:14:092 (1,5) - 00:19:092 (1,4,6) - , these 3 spots.
What I notice for that tho, is that I can't really identify that as a piece of structure (as a player) because of two main reasons:
1) 00:06:436 (4,5) - are soo far apart on time line that I'd have a hard time remembering the spot of the previous object
2) the other spots that are meant to ensure the piece of structure gets used and is... "structured" , are all differently made: 00:04:405 (2,6) - these don't really have the same exact snap (they are like... 5/4 and 00:06:436 (4,5) - is 3/2 but we can sort of ignore this little detail, it's too nazi); 00:14:092 (1,5) - this changes the overlap you mention to slider tails (and not circle + slider head as you did before); 00:19:092 (1,4,6) - and finally this adds like everything together (slider tail, slider head and circle).

I don't think that's so consistent in the end, but let's move on...

As for 00:07:061 (3,4) - I already mentioned the constant DS in my screens, so I noticed that. It just feels a weak reason once again because you do it just for a couple of objects.

The matter about follow points... well... who even counts follow points or stops staring at them? .-.
I respect your choice to make them like that but in my whole osu! "life" I never once cared about the amount of follow points and I wonder how many do that in gameplay. Imo there are other priorities to take care of when we talk about "clean" stuff but I guess we end up into personal stuff again...


Xexxar wrote:

MrSergio wrote:

00:06:436 (4,1) - it is rare to find this sort of flow, since you usually don't make jumps on sliders going the other way around.
i do this intentionally at every instance of this sound the piano makes: 00:06:436 (4,1) - , 00:16:436 (4,1) - , 01:31:436 (4,1) - , 01:41:436 (4,1) - , given that there is consistency, i dont see how me intentionally doing this pattern to prompt a specific motion is an issue that needs being addressed or changed.
Well, alright, I can agree on that, but using consistency as an excuse is not always a good idea if the pattern doesn't play that great.
I would make another picture with an explanation as to why I believe such movement isn't the best, but I had enough memes for today so I'll avoid to.
Instead I can tell you that your current movement puts a weak emphasis on the slider's head, fact that is inconsistent with the other sliders where you put a direct and strong emphasis on them (but I pointed this out already I guess)


Xexxar wrote:

MrSergio wrote:

00:12:374 (1,2,1,2) - probably personal, but it looks to me you considered this part of the song a bit differently than what the song plays.
im sorry what is your objective opinion that the song plays this in a specific way that must be followed? 00:12:530 (2,2) - are the same drum beat, they're weaker than the 1's, so i made them stacked, where as i gave 00:12:374 (1,1,1) - a triangle pattern for aesthetic. Let me remind you again that this is intended and consistent: 00:22:374 (1,2,1,2,1) - , 01:37:374 (1,2,1,2,1) - , 01:47:374 (1,2,1,2,1) -
well, I guess my wording wasn't the best to initiate a non-aggressive conversation on this one.
Anyway, yes, it is consistent and obviously there isn't a single way to express it, but I can once again argue how the choice is what matters, even if it's consistent.
Well, let's call it good then.


Xexxar wrote:

MrSergio wrote:

00:02:999 - 00:22:999 - what I noticed about structure is that you also sort of ignore how this part of the song uses like... 2-3 kinds of rhythm, yet your patterns keep changing a lot (not that I can tell exactly what they are changing into tho, but whatever...)
i've pointed out some purposes of my structure
yes, and I pointed out my counter-reasoning too


Xexxar wrote:

MrSergio wrote:

00:25:811 (4,5) - not really the best transition fro one instrument to another, but I guess it is not a big deal anyway, so nvm
dont see why you pointed this out then
Because there might be a better way if you think about it again?
Because being satisfied with the first solution you find might sound like being lazy to others?
Because although I could agree it is not a big deal it doesn't mean you aren't supposed to improve it at all?


Xexxar wrote:

MrSergio wrote:

00:42:061 (1,1,1,1) - you probably don't need such combo-ing anyway. Spacing and the song's general atmosphere should make this readable
i dont really agree, i think its very hard to read. if i can supply something that helps with sight reading this versus breaking there, I'd like to.
apart from 2 stacked triplets, you have no other streams whatsoever and if you manage the 1/4 snaps after sliders in kiai time properly you can make the difference in snap pretty noticeable without the need of so many NCs

Triplets in question: 01:02:217 (2,3,4) - 01:27:217 (1,2,3) -


@Shiirn:
We discussed some things in PM already but I wanted to point out some other things I see from your reply

It's not about the BG choice, but it's about the atmosphere it gives off. I just don't perceive that BG as properly expressive of the song's energy, it's not about who is in the picture or whether it connects to the eroge or not

The fact about the pitch is not really being made so clear to begin with with all those spacing and direction changes that seem to be fairly random, if you allow me to say it.

I wasn't assuming my vision as the "good" or "correct" way to do things to begin with once again.
I just started using the concepts I use for my mapsets because I couldn't find a solid base to work on for this map. I first take the mapper's concepts and filter mine based on that, but if you have no such solid references it's like 0 + my concepts = my concepts


Shiirn wrote:

I think it's insulting that you're forcibly applying your standards to mappers who have clearly exceeded your ability to judge them.
"Forcibly" is not (although we clarified this in PM I suppose... the whole matter about what a pop means and stuff) and how is this exceeding my ability? Is it because I disagree with some choice in here?
We might need to clarify this in PM since that sounds an insult too.




Conclusion:
whether my reply is satisfactory or not, feel free to ask for another BN to check this and bubble it again, I don't think that's an issue, isn't it? (there are plenty of other BNs anyway). I wanted to state my opinion on map of someone who I actually care about instead of a random dude (we know each other and you'rte a BN, so getting to make you understand some things may help spread my concept eventually, in a remote case where this is a reality)


@Kisses:
not my intention to stir up things, but the fact you can't give me a reply sort of confirms the lack of reasoning I was referring at in my mod.
This is not a bad map, just a rushed map from what I can tell.
I Must Decrease
913 posts
Joined June 2013
Topic Starter
I Must Decrease
oh boy HERE we go



Response:

If you're fine with a generic map (since yeah, it flows and plays decently), then go ahead. I just disagree with this being enough for ranking and that's the meaning of my pop.

so you're popping it on the reason that the map is too standard? ;? thats kinda counterintuitive. If everythings unique nothing's unique :\


Xexxar wrote:

MrSergio wrote:

00:06:905 (2,3) - this rhythm is pretty similar to before, so I don't see why this needs such low spacing between 00:06:592 (1,2) - . Maybe Ctrl G 2,3?
i wanted this flow direction, the spacing being low is a result of my structure which put 00:05:967 (2,3,2) - in a vertical line. If it wasnt already obvious, it was my objective to create a very linear map in that perspective, that used alot of horizontal and vertical lines.
Umh... alright, the line is there in the editor, but the fact those objects are in different combos doesn't even make me try to relate them in any particular way, not to mention in this exact way: you have a 1/1 gap between 00:06:124 (3,2) - and due to high AR 00:05:967 (2) - this one disappears quite fast, which makes it hard to notice the whole line.

Keeping this argument, I'd like to take a more wide range of analysis:
the whole part you have from 00:02:999 - to 00:12:999 - gets repeated right after it ends one more time, from 00:12:999 - 00:22:999 -
Now, assuming you have that sort of line as a structure as you said, I would think that you keep using it somewhere else in similar situations, so I went searching for possible similar patterns...
What I got was 00:08:467 (2,4,1) - (this one might actually be seen as a line as you described, although the quirky visual spacings make it a bit hard to notice) and well... there were no other spots where I could see that sort of thing, above all at 00:15:967 (2,3,2) - where it is the exact identical spot you mentioned, just repeated and with a different pitch.

Tbh I don't mind considering that as a piece of structure, but using it twice (and not even the same way, since the second time I can notice that is done at a shorter snap and rhythm) and not using it anymore even on spots where it would be great to emphasize such structure, makes it lose meaning imo.
Using such mindset I could easily take any piece of the map and once I find a line or a sort of figure I recognize (even across multiple combos) I call it a piece of structure :/

ok so what, is this fine, are you forcing your opinion down my throat for me to change this in order for nao to bubble again?

Xexxar wrote:

MrSergio wrote:

00:06:592 (1,2,3,4,5,6) - since I'm here I might as well start picking on structure.
00:05:967 (2,3,2) - are in a vertical line and I wanted to center my structure around this. You'll notice that 00:06:436 (4,5) - are overlapped, 00:07:061 (3,4) - are evenly variable in distance from this vertical line that was formed with those objects. You'll also notice that each note in this pattern has a very specific and clean amount of follow points in between them. 1-2 there are 2, 2-3 4, 3-4 2, etc. I tend to be very careful to try to make my follow points clean visually.
The thing about the vertical line is discussed already so I'll take that as a good reason here.
If we assume 00:06:436 (4,5) - this is a piece of structure then I once again get the feeling I need to double check this: as far as I could see, you do something similar for 00:04:405 (2,6) - 00:14:092 (1,5) - 00:19:092 (1,4,6) - , these 3 spots.
What I notice for that tho, is that I can't really identify that as a piece of structure (as a player) because of two main reasons:
1) 00:06:436 (4,5) - are soo far apart on time line that I'd have a hard time remembering the spot of the previous object
2) the other spots that are meant to ensure the piece of structure gets used and is... "structured" , are all differently made: 00:04:405 (2,6) - these don't really have the same exact snap (they are like... 5/4 and 00:06:436 (4,5) - is 3/2 but we can sort of ignore this little detail, it's too nazi); 00:14:092 (1,5) - this changes the overlap you mention to slider tails (and not circle + slider head as you did before); 00:19:092 (1,4,6) - and finally this adds like everything together (slider tail, slider head and circle).

I don't think that's so consistent in the end, but let's move on...

As for 00:07:061 (3,4) - I already mentioned the constant DS in my screens, so I noticed that. It just feels a weak reason once again because you do it just for a couple of objects.

The matter about follow points... well... who even counts follow points or stops staring at them? .-.
I respect your choice to make them like that but in my whole osu! "life" I never once cared about the amount of follow points and I wonder how many do that in gameplay. Imo there are other priorities to take care of when we talk about "clean" stuff but I guess we end up into personal stuff again...

ok so you personally disagree but I still talked about them (fyi I learned about follow points from jenny's mapping style so... once again, you're just stating this is all your opinion, if its just you're opinion then why I you so violently up against what I have done.


Xexxar wrote:

MrSergio wrote:

00:06:436 (4,1) - it is rare to find this sort of flow, since you usually don't make jumps on sliders going the other way around.
i do this intentionally at every instance of this sound the piano makes: 00:06:436 (4,1) - , 00:16:436 (4,1) - , 01:31:436 (4,1) - , 01:41:436 (4,1) - , given that there is consistency, i dont see how me intentionally doing this pattern to prompt a specific motion is an issue that needs being addressed or changed.
Well, alright, I can agree on that, but using consistency as an excuse is not always a good idea if the pattern doesn't play that great.
I would make another picture with an explanation as to why I believe such movement isn't the best, but I had enough memes for today so I'll avoid to.
Instead I can tell you that your current movement puts a weak emphasis on the slider's head, fact that is inconsistent with the other sliders where you put a direct and strong emphasis on them (but I pointed this out already I guess)

it plays fine you are just too weak.


Xexxar wrote:

MrSergio wrote:

00:12:374 (1,2,1,2) - probably personal, but it looks to me you considered this part of the song a bit differently than what the song plays.
im sorry what is your objective opinion that the song plays this in a specific way that must be followed? 00:12:530 (2,2) - are the same drum beat, they're weaker than the 1's, so i made them stacked, where as i gave 00:12:374 (1,1,1) - a triangle pattern for aesthetic. Let me remind you again that this is intended and consistent: 00:22:374 (1,2,1,2,1) - , 01:37:374 (1,2,1,2,1) - , 01:47:374 (1,2,1,2,1) -
well, I guess my wording wasn't the best to initiate a non-aggressive conversation on this one.
Anyway, yes, it is consistent and obviously there isn't a single way to express it, but I can once again argue how the choice is what matters, even if it's consistent.
Well, let's call it good then.

cool


Xexxar wrote:

MrSergio wrote:

00:02:999 - 00:22:999 - what I noticed about structure is that you also sort of ignore how this part of the song uses like... 2-3 kinds of rhythm, yet your patterns keep changing a lot (not that I can tell exactly what they are changing into tho, but whatever...)
i've pointed out some purposes of my structure
yes, and I pointed out my counter-reasoning too
ok



Xexxar wrote:

MrSergio wrote:

00:25:811 (4,5) - not really the best transition fro one instrument to another, but I guess it is not a big deal anyway, so nvm
dont see why you pointed this out then
Because there might be a better way if you think about it again?
Because being satisfied with the first solution you find might sound like being lazy to others?
Because although I could agree it is not a big deal it doesn't mean you aren't supposed to improve it at all?

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? then what do you even want me to do?


Xexxar wrote:

MrSergio wrote:

00:42:061 (1,1,1,1) - you probably don't need such combo-ing anyway. Spacing and the song's general atmosphere should make this readable
i dont really agree, i think its very hard to read. if i can supply something that helps with sight reading this versus breaking there, I'd like to.
apart from 2 stacked triplets, you have no other streams whatsoever and if you manage the 1/4 snaps after sliders in kiai time properly you can make the difference in snap pretty noticeable without the need of so many NCs there are also no 1/4th snaps before this point, so naturally speaking theres LITERALLY nothing to indicate whether or not this is 1/4 or a 1/3rd stream. the use of NC's highlights this to be something that is VERY different from what is expected. (which would naturally be 1/4)

Triplets in question: 01:02:217 (2,3,4) - 01:27:217 (1,2,3) -

Conclusion:
whether my reply is satisfactory or not, feel free to ask for another BN to check this and bubble it again, I don't think that's an issue, isn't it? (there are plenty of other BNs anyway). I wanted to state my opinion on map of someone who I actually care about instead of a random dude (we know each other and you'rte a BN, so getting to make you understand some things may help spread my concept eventually, in a remote case where this is a reality)

so you're not letting nao rebubble this or retracting your bubble pop why? is it just because you feel like flexing your power? Subjective opinions are fine to express, but to pop purely because you dont like things that I have reasons for is completely uncalled for and is questionable. Based off your logic every BN should be able to pop literally any map they want because "i wouldnt map it this way."

Please reconsider your position here. Else, please express in more detail then what I must change with the entirety of this map in order to move it towards the ranking process.
Last edited by I Must Decrease , edited 2 times in total.
Eir_DELETED
Eir_DELETED
fixed some stuff about sharp flow thanks :3
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Sharkie
343 posts
Joined May 2014
Sharkie
hah lol bad mapper= bad modder me irl

Uh, I'd argue its pretty unique. "A Feather" doesn't really look like any maps I've seen. There's only one thing I'd like to point out, I'm sure you've considered it, in places like 01:30:420 - 01:40:420 - 01:42:920 - there is a snare "Ghost Note" there. Often times, (Because I play percussion in a jazz band) to add a lil bit of ~style~ into playing ostinato rhythm (or "grooves"), percussionists would add Ghost Note Rolls into their grooves, which are the 2 very soft snare hits before the downbeat in this song's case. In other songs it could be 3, 4, even 5 notes (usually 16th notes or 1/4, could also be 1/6). 01:42:842 - 01:42:920 -This, for example.
I know that mapping it would ruin your structure cuz you'd have to move stuff around and its already a great map sooo... Just wanted to point it out for future reference.
lol sharkie is dumb
Akitoshi senpai notice me
Naxess
Nomination Assessment Team
390 posts
Joined March 2016
Naxess
Greetings

  • [General]
  1. 01:52:686 - Would've just silenced the end of the spinner, not really complementing the song in any way from what I can hear.

    [Easy]
  2. 00:12:374 - 00:22:374 - So I know changing rhythm for these may be difficult and all without getting awkward rhythms, but I'd have still tried mixing it up slightly. For the latter example I'd use circles instead of a slider. It's not like the player will be unable to predict it or somehow feel it uncomfortable, since all those repeats indicated it previously. tbh probably worth bringing some variance here anyway since it's all the same for literally the first 20 seconds. As long as you're not clicking on the blue ticks it should be fine.
  3. 00:59:874 (3,1,2,3) - Could probably balance this intersection a bit better.

    [Akitoshi's Normal]
  4. That's a lot of 1/1 1/4 gap 1/1 1/4 gap circle rhythms lol. Otherwise there's opportunities for things like this or this, but they'd need to be equally assigned throughout the sections. Alternatively you could just take some rhythm from the other diffs and then strip it down to where it would fit a normal for other references. Would take some work to implement this properly, though, and if you feel like the difficulty in it's current state is the end result you want to contribute to this set, then I'd be fine with that as well.

    [joker's Hard]
  5. 00:24:561 (4) - Would reflect the song better if these sliders turned where an audible sound could be heard. In this case at 00:24:874 - . atm they just seem a bit random and unrelated.
  6. 00:25:811 (2) - Slider shapes are a bit unsymmetrical and not exactly visually pleasing, would try making the end and start curve more balanced. You can check this easily by copy-pasting flipping it over both axes and then stacking it as done in the picture. Personally I think it looks better that way.
  7. 00:53:467 (2) - Not quite sure I agree with this rhythm choice. There may be a slight sound from vocals and all, but in these cases, try removing the note and see if things still hang together. I'm fine with this type of overmapping as long as it doesn't forcefully change the flow and stuff. Try unstacking 00:52:999 (1,3) - and then stacking (2) and (3) instead. Same goes for 00:58:467 (2) - . You may argue that it emphasizes the sound after the circle, but keep in mind that the stress is still on the circle itself, so in the end it doesn't quite make sense. Not to speak of that it's inconsistent with 00:43:467 - 00:48:467 - . Could just remove them otherwise, would probably be best tbh.
  8. 01:01:749 (1) - I know this combo still works, but could move it to 01:02:217 - to visually emphasize the vocals and allow that star pattern to stand out more.
  9. 01:12:374 (5,6,7,8,1) - Would try keeping the spacing here consistent with 01:22:374 (5,6,7,8,1) - .
  10. 01:37:217 - Pretty clear drum sound here, could change the rhythm a bit to account for it in some way.

    [Anxient's Insane]
  11. Alright so I looked at this map earlier and basically it looks too similar all over. I appreciate your design choices and all, but would be nice if different sections of the song, that sound different, would be represented different visually as well. Not really sure I approve of the current way it's done is the thing.
  12. Could still keep the whole straight slider concept by tilting some section by 45 degrees or something or only having horizontal in one and then vetical and- you get the idea. Just ideas, you can do whatever you want with this.
  13. 00:25:499 (1,2) - Also I'd be careful of obscuring repeats like this. In the default experience of the game you'll see a giant 300 or 100 over it even after it's done, which is why the RC states that these should be avoided specifically.
  14. I'll recheck this later if necessary.

    [Kisses' Extra]
  15. 00:14:874 (4,5) - Some of these flows in the beginning seem a bit misleading and contradictory. May be your intention for some notes like 00:13:936 (4,1,2,3) - but it just seems a bit unnecessarily excessive here. Literally if you just rotated these the other way it would flow much better into the next downbeat.
  16. 00:27:842 - Interesting way to force mouse movement, but having the player click on it may not be the best since there's no direct impact or vocal here. Could instead make the slider force a sharper flow instead for emphasis like you did with 00:23:624 (2,1) - 00:24:874 (2,1) - . Or if you really want emphasis here, make the two vocals at 00:27:374 - 00:27:686 - separate notes with possible 1/4 sliders involved, as was done at 00:32:374 (2,3) - .
  17. 00:41:749 (1) - See no reason for this to be so far away from (3). Bringing some spacing between 00:41:749 (1,2) - by stacking 00:41:280 (2,1) - would probably be more appropriate. Could do some spaced stack if you want it to be more readable.
  18. 01:46:905 (2,3,4,1,2,1,2,1) - Pretty sure other nominators are going to be concerned about the structure of things. These jumps, for example, could probably use some more elaborate placement, like making a triangle out of 01:47:061 (3,4,2) - and then avoid unintentional overlaps and stuff 01:46:592 (1,1) - .
  19. Seems like flow is changing very frequently in some parts but not for others that are similar, will probably return to give some examples if I find it a problem. Would be helpful to know what your thought process behind it is either way.
Will probably return to check things in closer detail, but for now I'd like to see how things are responded to.
Anxient
1,573 posts
Joined June 2014
Anxient


Naxess wrote:

[Anxient's Insane]
[*]Alright so I looked at this map earlier and basically it looks too similar all over. I appreciate your design choices and all, but would be nice if different sections of the song, that sound different, would be represented different visually as well. Not really sure I approve of the current way it's done is the thing. - i see. well personally i really dont think this is a problem, but if i really have to i guess ill go curve a few sliders at necessary points.
[*]Could still keep the whole straight slider concept by tilting some section by 45 degrees or something or only having horizontal in one and then vetical and- you get the idea. Just ideas, you can do whatever you want with this. - now this would be the part where i should put my foot down coz imo tilting any sliders really tilts me. like i just cant stand how there are some sliders that arent the same shape just coz of aesthetic. like if i were to tilt said slider, i wouldve done so while mapping it. but if i were to tilt it right now because it hinders ranking, sure it would fix the problem, but i wouldnt be happy about it. id legit scream my face off.
[*]00:25:499 (1,2) - Also I'd be careful of obscuring repeats like this. In the default experience of the game you'll see a giant 300 or 100 over it even after it's done, which is why the RC states that these should be avoided specifically. - yep. i get that alot. fixed.
[*]I'll recheck this later if necessary. - it will be necessary.
http://puu.sh/uiOFP/01684d1023.osu

lets see if this works.
Last edited by Anxient , edited 2 times in total.
Akitoshi
2,687 posts
Joined August 2014
Akitoshi
@Naxess
I added some variation (circles for showing the most intense part of the song/kiai) on chorus instead as they are just repeating with non-chorus before. thank you!

.
osu file format v14

[General]
AudioFilename: audio.mp3
AudioLeadIn: 0
PreviewTime: 62139
Countdown: 0
SampleSet: Soft
StackLeniency: 0.7
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LetterboxInBreaks: 0
WidescreenStoryboard: 0

[Editor]
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DistanceSpacing: 1
BeatDivisor: 8
GridSize: 32
TimelineZoom: 1

[Metadata]
Title:Jiyuu no Hane
TitleUnicode:自由の翅
Artist:Hiromi Sato
ArtistUnicode:佐藤ひろ美
Creator:Xexxar
Version:Akitoshi's Normal
Source:月影のシミュラクル-解放の羽
Tags:eroge visual novel dating sim game meis clauson xr kisses joker- anxient akitoshi
BeatmapID:1204111
BeatmapSetID:561640

[Difficulty]
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CircleSize:3.3
OverallDifficulty:4
ApproachRate:5
SliderMultiplier:2.1
SliderTickRate:2

[Events]
//Background and Video events
0,0,"gay.jpg",0,0
//Break Periods
//Storyboard Layer 0 (Background)
//Storyboard Layer 1 (Fail)
//Storyboard Layer 2 (Pass)
//Storyboard Layer 3 (Foreground)
//Storyboard Sound Samples

[TimingPoints]
2999,625,4,2,1,80,1,0
22999,-100,4,2,1,60,0,0
27374,-100,4,2,1,60,0,0
42999,-100,4,2,1,80,0,0
62999,-100,4,2,1,90,0,1
72374,-100,4,2,1,90,0,0
72999,-100,4,2,1,90,0,1
82999,-100,4,2,1,90,0,1
87999,-100,4,2,1,80,0,0
109249,-100,4,2,1,70,0,0
110499,-100,4,2,1,60,0,0
111749,-100,4,2,1,50,0,0
112686,-100,4,2,1,20,0,0


[Colours]
Combo1 : 0,128,255
Combo2 : 125,242,113
Combo3 : 226,63,63
Combo4 : 107,228,228

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Eir_DELETED
Eir_DELETED

Naxess wrote:

Greetings
[joker's Hard]
  1. 00:24:561 (4) - Would reflect the song better if these sliders turned where an audible sound could be heard. In this case at 00:24:874 - . atm they just seem a bit random and unrelated.
  2. 00:25:811 (2) - Slider shapes are a bit unsymmetrical and not exactly visually pleasing, would try making the end and start curve more balanced. You can check this easily by copy-pasting flipping it over both axes and then stacking it as done in the picture. Personally I think it looks better that way.
  3. 00:53:467 (2) - Not quite sure I agree with this rhythm choice. There may be a slight sound from vocals and all, but in these cases, try removing the note and see if things still hang together. I'm fine with this type of overmapping as long as it doesn't forcefully change the flow and stuff. Try unstacking 00:52:999 (1,3) - and then stacking (2) and (3) instead. Same goes for 00:58:467 (2) - . You may argue that it emphasizes the sound after the circle, but keep in mind that the stress is still on the circle itself, so in the end it doesn't quite make sense. Not to speak of that it's inconsistent with 00:43:467 - 00:48:467 - . Could just remove them otherwise, would probably be best tbh.
  4. 01:01:749 (1) - I know this combo still works, but could move it to 01:02:217 - to visually emphasize the vocals and allow that star pattern to stand out more.
  5. 01:12:374 (5,6,7,8,1) - Would try keeping the spacing here consistent with 01:22:374 (5,6,7,8,1) - .
  6. 01:37:217 - Pretty clear drum sound here, could change the rhythm a bit to account for it in some way. i should dont need to take this sound cuz of i dont listen drum sound clearly
Will probably return to check things in closer detail, but for now I'd like to see how things are responded to.
no reply = applied
Thanks Naxess :3

update
osu file format v14

[General]
AudioFilename: audio.mp3
AudioLeadIn: 0
PreviewTime: 62139
Countdown: 0
SampleSet: Soft
StackLeniency: 0.7
Mode: 0
LetterboxInBreaks: 0
WidescreenStoryboard: 1

[Editor]
Bookmarks: 76936,108030
DistanceSpacing: 1.6
BeatDivisor: 4
GridSize: 32
TimelineZoom: 1

[Metadata]
Title:Jiyuu no Hane
TitleUnicode:自由の翅
Artist:Hiromi Sato
ArtistUnicode:佐藤ひろ美
Creator:Xexxar
Version:joker's Hard
Source:月影のシミュラクル-解放の羽
Tags:eroge visual novel dating sim game meis clauson xr kisses joker- anxient akitoshi
BeatmapID:1189269
BeatmapSetID:561640

[Difficulty]
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CircleSize:3.8
OverallDifficulty:6
ApproachRate:8
SliderMultiplier:2.7
SliderTickRate:1

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I Must Decrease
913 posts
Joined June 2013
Topic Starter
I Must Decrease
applied shit ingame with naxess
_handholding
3,109 posts
Joined April 2014
_handholding

Naxess wrote:

[Kisses' Extra]
[*]00:14:874 (4,5) - Some of these flows in the beginning seem a bit misleading and contradictory. May be your intention for some notes like 00:13:936 (4,1,2,3) - but it just seems a bit unnecessarily excessive here. Literally if you just rotated these the other way it would flow much better into the next downbeat. I like it how it is since a change in flow is a good emphasis
[*]00:27:842 - Interesting way to force mouse movement, but having the player click on it may not be the best since there's no direct impact or vocal here. Could instead make the slider force a sharper flow instead for emphasis like you did with 00:23:624 (2,1) - 00:24:874 (2,1) - . Or if you really want emphasis here, make the two vocals at 00:27:374 - 00:27:686 - separate notes with possible 1/4 sliders involved, as was done at 00:32:374 (2,3) - . No. I've done this in similar places in the map 00:47:842 (5) . I've been following the instruments here and I'm not changing to the vocals. The thing you pointed out earlier wasn't me following the vocals that was just variation. The pattern plays well, as well as following the music nicely
[*]00:41:749 (1) - See no reason for this to be so far away from (3). Bringing some spacing between 00:41:749 (1,2) - by stacking 00:41:280 (2,1) - would probably be more appropriate. Could do some spaced stack if you want it to be more readable.
[*]01:46:905 (2,3,4,1,2,1,2,1) - Pretty sure other nominators are going to be concerned about the structure of things. These jumps, for example, could probably use some more elaborate placement, like making a triangle out of 01:47:061 (3,4,2) - and then avoid unintentional overlaps and stuff 01:46:592 (1,1) - .
[*]Seems like flow is changing very frequently in some parts but not for others that are similar, will probably return to give some examples if I find it a problem. Would be helpful to know what your thought process behind it is either way.[/list]

Will probably return to check things in closer detail, but for now I'd like to see how things are responded to.
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Title:Jiyuu no Hane
TitleUnicode:自由の翅
Artist:Hiromi Sato
ArtistUnicode:佐藤ひろ美
Creator:Xexxar
Version:Kisses' Extra
Source:月影のシミュラクル-解放の羽
Tags:eroge visual novel dating sim game meis clauson xr kisses joker- anxient akitoshi
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edit zdfsgxcg
Naxess
Nomination Assessment Team
390 posts
Joined March 2016
Naxess
One Eternity Later


  • [Joker]
  1. 00:24:561 (4) - There's no 1/8 here, vocal impacts on the red tick.

    [Anxient]
    The way you decided to change some sliders in accordance to the song ended up allowing for better differentiation between sections, so gj on that.
  2. 00:03:467 (2,3) - 00:05:967 (2,3) - would be nice if they were consistent with 00:08:467 (2,3) - 00:10:967 (2,1) - 00:15:967 (2,1) - etc in terms of spacing. First two are considerably smaller than the rest, especially in comparison to something like 00:18:467 (2,3) - .
  3. 00:19:561 (2,3) - Similarly here, this is pretty different from 00:09:405 (2,3) - , consider just using Ctrl+G on 00:19:874 (3) - or something along those lines.
  4. In general, the part at 00:16:451 - is way less dense than the one at 01:30:796 - for whatever reason, despite being the same musically. First part is full of 1/1 and plenty of pauses while second has 1/2 all over with frequent 1/4s. Other diffs in the set reflect the similarity between these sections, but the way it's done here is kind of questionable. Could try using the same density as in the first part, for example, as this will create contrast for kiai while keeping consistency.

    [Kisses]
    Flow won't really create much emphasis in this case since it's being broken pretty much all over and in different ways each time, but going to assume it's part of the way the map is supposed to play, as it does seem intentional. Something I noticed while taking a break from the set is that it's working more as a theme rather than as prominence. Either way works, though, I suppose.
  5. 00:09:092 (1,2,3) - Could turn this into something more like 00:19:092 (1,2,3) - or 01:34:092 (1,2) - by using Ctrl+G on 00:09:405 (2) - . Mainly just for the spacing between 00:09:405 (2,3) - as it's a jump throughout otherwise; 00:19:405 (2,3) - 01:34:405 (2,3) - 01:44:405 (2,3) - etc.
  6. 01:04:717 (3,4,5,6,7) - 01:14:717 (3,4,5,6,7) - Could at least make spacing relatively consistent rather than having something like 01:04:717 (3,4,5) - in the first and 01:14:717 (3,4,5) - in the second. Try changing 01:04:717 (3,4,5) - into something along these lines.
@MrSergio I've looked through the pop, but I can't really say I agree with it for the same reasons Shiirn and Xexxar expressed. While I do understand the points brought up, it seems more to me like a different way to map the same song, and not necessarily an improvement upon the set as a whole. In the mod some points mentioned that visuals were different between similar parts of the song, for example, but I can see sufficient amounts of correlations between the principles and concepts of the patterns in question, in terms of how objects interact, to believe it is still structurally consistent. My thoughts on the subject mostly coincide with what was mentioned previously, however, as it stands currently. You are obviously free to maintain the veto and have no obligation to reply as per usual. Simply leaving this here for now in case further discussion commences.
Anxient
1,573 posts
Joined June 2014
Anxient

Naxess wrote:

One Eternity Later

[Anxient]
The way you decided to change some sliders in accordance to the song ended up allowing for better differentiation between sections, so gj on that. - i worked hard on it
[*]00:03:467 (2,3) - 00:05:967 (2,3) - would be nice if they were consistent with 00:08:467 (2,3) - 00:10:967 (2,1) - 00:15:967 (2,1) - etc in terms of spacing. -
First two are considerably smaller than the rest, especially in comparison to something like 00:18:467 (2,3) - . - that would be nice actually, increased the jumps by a small amount, since its still early in the song and i dont wanna overwhelm the player
[*]00:19:561 (2,3) - Similarly here, this is pretty different from 00:09:405 (2,3) - , consider just using Ctrl+G on 00:19:874 (3) - or something along those lines. - goctha. i also 00:09:405 (2) - ctrl g this coz it was playing rather weirdly.
[*]In general, the part at 00:16:451 - is way less dense than the one at 01:30:796 - for whatever reason, despite being the same musically. First part is full of 1/1 and plenty of pauses while second has 1/2 all over with frequent 1/4s. Other diffs in the set reflect the similarity between these sections, but the way it's done here is kind of questionable. Could try using the same density as in the first part, for example, as this will create contrast for kiai while keeping consistency. - personally, i think its going to be fine. think of it as the map is getting harder. btw, i dont see the 1/4s .-.
thank big http://puu.sh/vpVrE/2315709487.osu
Eir_DELETED
Eir_DELETED
thanks Naxess
osu file format v14

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TitleUnicode:自由の翅
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ArtistUnicode:佐藤ひろ美
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Source:月影のシミュラクル-解放の羽
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_handholding
3,109 posts
Joined April 2014
_handholding
I'll try to reply in less than 48 hrs, I have 3 other gds to fix first
defiance
503 posts
Joined July 2015
defiance
hi friendly mod

A feather
Rhythms & Patterns
00:54:819 (3) - this angle is really sharp, with the flow you're using it may work but as a lead-in it could definitely use improvements, either by ctrl + G'ing this slider or 00:54:569 (1,2) - these two circles, I'd suggest the circles (and then maybe adjust their position a little for smoother movement) since it would match the ensuing circular flow you create with the sliders
00:56:319 (1,2) - This angle is really awkward, try moving 00:56:319 (1) - to somewhere around x500 y251 and 00:56:444 (2) - to around x459 y36, it would both flow better and better match the pitch shift of the guitars (I assume you're trying to accentuate those because of the NC)
00:57:319 (5,1) - Return sliders are hold sliders, so adding a circle in a linear momentum from the return slider's lead-in pattern (which would be this 00:57:069 (4) - ) is counter-intuitive, try stacking 00:57:569 (1) - on top of 00:56:444 (2) - (after applying the previous mod) and then placing 00:57:694 (2) - around x147 y66
00:58:069 (4,5,1) - Sharpen this triangle maybe? The angle seems really weak here and it doesn't seem to match the music or the movement you were going for
00:59:319 (5) - Try moving this more to the right so it doesn't overlap with 00:58:569 (1) - and see how that looks
01:00:569 (1) - Maybe move this back to x363 y42? The angle seems uncomfortably sharp here
01:04:569 (1) - Why not do this more like so?
01:06:069 (4,5) - Try making this jump a bit bigger so the angle from (5) to 01:06:319 (1) - becomes less awkward
01:07:569 (1,2,3) - Something like this seems like it would match your previous movements a lot better
01:08:069 (4,5,1,2) - Eh this angle is really really awkward and counterintuitive, I would suggest something here but I think in this case it's best to let you work something out in your own way
01:36:256 (2) - This note seems unnecessary, just leaving the patterns as two sliders would make it for a good minor break so as to not murder the player's stamina at a redundant spot (especially amidst such a heavy stream)
01:38:256 (2) - ^ (by the way, the reason I didn't suggest it for similar previous examples is because it fit there, while less so here)
01:44:819 (2,3,4) - Try making this triangle more even
02:05:131 (2) - Return slider on a blue tick, why ;_; just remove the hitcircle before it lol
02:15:819 (1) - Why an NC here instead of 02:16:069 (2) - Here like in previous and ensuing similar patterns? Makes it look sloppy
02:32:444 (2,1) - This is super awkward, try placing 02:32:444 (2) - on x100 y72
02:34:444 (2,1) - ^ ;_; try placing 02:34:444 (2) - at x111 y13
02:34:944 (3) - x243 y382
03:34:690 (1,2,3) - I'm sure you could improve the aesthetics here
03:52:940 (2,3,1,2) - These circles seem kind of randomly placed, what was the reasoning behind them?
04:11:846 (1) - Ctrl + G and then 04:12:086 (2) - ctrl + G this too
Note: Overall I think the calm section didn't have enough thought put into it and could really use massive improvements or a remap. That's just my opinion on it.
04:28:406 (2) - Try placing this a little lower
04:29:006 (2) - See how it works when you move this to x166 y215 and 04:29:126 (3) - ctrl + G this
04:29:486 (1) - Try moving this to x259 y306 and then 04:29:726 (3) - this to x255 y192
04:30:926 (2) - ^x271 y17
04:31:526 (1,2,3,4) - Ctrl + G
04:32:366 (4) - x322 y5 and then 04:32:006 (1,2) - ctrl + G this
04:34:886 (1,2) - I highly suggest increasing the spacing between these
04:35:846 (1,2) - ^
04:42:326 (1,2) - ^Except decrease it
04:47:726 (3) - x278 y130
04:49:286 (1) - Maybe this would work better?
05:28:646 (1,2) - Ctrl + G
05:29:126 (1,2) - ^
05:45:926 (1,2,3) - Try placing this a little further to the left for preventing possible overlaps
05:48:806 (1,2) - Ctrl + G
05:57:686 (3,4,5,6,1) - Better to leave this a triple for consistency's sake
06:26:094 (5) - Ctrl + G
06:27:808 (5) - ^
06:29:951 (3) - ^
06:30:379 (4) - ^
06:30:808 (1) - Maybe this and 06:31:237 (2) - this too but up to you
06:47:629 (2) - This overlap doesn't seem like a good idea
06:52:879 (2) - x256 y28?
06:58:129 (1) - x424 y52 for better blanket
07:00:808 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16) - Are you sure you want this straight like this? It could be a lot gayer cooler if you did something fancy with the aesthetics while maintaining equal playability (i.e. a highway stream)
07:11:897 (2) - x114 y335
07:24:397 (3) - Angle this downwards instead?
07:47:522 (1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1) - This stream's aesthetics could definitely see improvement
07:48:522 (1) - The part after this I feel the same way about as the aforementioned calm part
08:10:272 (6) - Ctrl + G


Hitsounds
08:04:522 (1) - This is way too loud
Other than that, hitsounds are pretty nice, good work!
_handholding
3,109 posts
Joined April 2014
_handholding
kisses
osu file format v14

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Title:Jiyuu no Hane
TitleUnicode:自由の翅
Artist:Hiromi Sato
ArtistUnicode:佐藤ひろ美
Creator:Xexxar
Version:Kisses' Extra
Source:月影のシミュラクル-解放の羽
Tags:eroge visual novel dating sim game meis clauson xr kisses joker- anxient akitoshi
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Seijiro
osu! Alumni
3,438 posts
Joined April 2013
Seijiro
so do I really have to remind you guys to respect the Code of Conduct?
If you have something to say you can say it without trying to be aggressive, thanks.

Also, stay on topic. Just because someone shitposts it doesn't mean you need to hop on the bandwagon
Ultima Fox
621 posts
Joined August 2013
Ultima Fox

MrSergio wrote:

so do I really have to remind you guys to respect the Code of Conduct?
If you have something to say you can say it without trying to be aggressive, thanks.
I understand you're trying to keep this thread hate and drama free, but I don't see how you can say something like this after you disrespected the mappers involved, saying that it looks like its their first time ranking a map. Don't you think that goes against the Code of Conduct? I'm not going to say anything about the pop's reasoning and such (even though I disagree, it's pretty much been settled and its none of my business) but I just felt the need to say something about this.
_handholding
3,109 posts
Joined April 2014
_handholding
He wasn't meaning to cause offence (to some extent). We all know each other quite well and Sergio, as a BN, was doing his job when it comes to making sure mapsets aren't lacking in quality when they hit the qualified section.
Foxy Grandpa
715 posts
Joined January 2015
Foxy Grandpa

MrSergio wrote:

Anyway, if you want me to spend a few days making screens out of this mapset trying to explain what you guys tried to do (which, as far as I can tell, isn't that much anyway considering your patterns) I could, but I don't want to tbh.
I'm saying all this because I would expect more from experienced mappers like you (for sure Kisses, Akitoshi, Xexxar and Anxient have ranked maps, dunno about joker, but it doesn't change much my statement).
This sort of attempt could have been decent as a "first time trying to rank a map" imo, but not now, sorry.

I don't know about you but if i were a BN I wouldn't be calling another BNs mapset an attempt as a first time trying to rank a map
_handholding
3,109 posts
Joined April 2014
_handholding
Stop going at Sergio especially when that issue was over a month ago

k thnx
Ultima Fox
621 posts
Joined August 2013
Ultima Fox
nvm, if you insist

edited because we posted at the same time lol
I Must Decrease
913 posts
Joined June 2013
Topic Starter
I Must Decrease
I would agree with Ultima Fox that it was rude and uncalled for, but that is in the past.
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