Pondering whether i should just go sleep now... its 4:32 AM. (it WAS 4:32, until i started ranting and posted at 4:42)
eghhh that's what i get when i binge-watch an anime a friend recommends.
i just wish i had the time to get my life back together before school starts. I'll be less active starting Monday, so I want to get shit done first, but...
i don't know. in a way, i can see how i could have avoided all this if i just put up with my depression a bit more and put more effort into my academics...
...fuck. i just wish i could convince my dad to take me to a different charter school instead of changing from a shitty charter to an even shittier public highschool...
buying pointless shit like jockstraps and uniforms for something i don't give single fuck about...
...i think this is one of the first times I've been this irritated. It's not like a seething anger, but its a pretty rough feeling. It's probably why i feel like ive been acting slightly different recently.
shit, i wound up ranting about this in a forum post.
...ahhh whatever. i don't think anyone will be able to help me out of this, as much as they'd want to, even though i don't think very many do, and all i'll get from this is someone to be at my back saying "you can do it" when i don't need support anymore, i just need a normal life for once.
...
*sigh*
damn. life really is leaving me with a pretty bitter taste in my mouth. i should stop wishing to do shit and actually do shit. so why cant I? how the fuck am i such a failure i cant get myself to do the things I've loved to do, the very talents that people admire?
...im tired.
i should sleep.
well... seeya tomorrow, OT forums. ( `-`)