Chapter One
We begin our story in a small village to the north of a forest. Closing in on a small house, we find a character named Bob. Bob was a fine young fellow, and he liked to go outside and take walks in the park. One day, in the midst of all of these relatively peaceful happenings, Bob discovered a forum called "Off-Topic". It was filled with threads of questionable quality, to which Bob attempted to create a new thread that would be better after seeing a challenge about making good threads. And this is what Bob wrote:
Chapter Two
Once there was a person named Bob, arbitrarily chosen to save the world by a magic talking voice. "Bob... you must find the four cliche crystals of fire, water, earth, and air..." "That sounds boring." Bob said as he went back to sleep. "If you don't then the world will end and you can't play osu! anymore." The voice said. "Oh god, it's worth it now." Bob said merrily. He went over to the air crystal and it started talking. "Now you can play as something other than a freelancer." it said. "That's boring." Bob said. "These are all the crappy jobs. Nobody likes playing as a ranger." "I know." the wind crystal said. "Why does everything talk to me?" Bob said to the crystal. "I don't know." the crystal said. "Now go off and start killing monsters." Bob switched his class to a black mage and found a slime. "Oh look, it's a boring slime." Bob said. So he killed it with a Fire spell. "Apparently, that gave me 7 experience points, whatever those are." "LISTEN!" an annoying butterfly danced up to Bob and screamed. "YOU KILL MONSTERS AND YOU GET THE POINTS AND THEN YOU GET STRONGER." "But that doesn't make any sense." Bob said. "NOTHING IN THIS STUPID GAME MAKES ANY SENSE!" the butterfly said, as they walked up to a large dungeon.
Chapter Three
"What's this dungeon doing here?" Bob asked. A girl called Alice walked up and responded to Bob's question. "Hello, Bob. I am the arbitrary white mage character. Aren't you excited to meet me? I also double a role as Ms. Fanservice and The Woobie. This dungeon is the property of the Red Demon, which poses a threat to our entire town of Boring." "Why are you speaking in weird colors, Alice?" Bob asked. "Any important things are in red text, like that butterfly near you, Ivan." "It's annoying, so I advise you should stop." Bob said. The two of them walked into the cave and walked through some boring monsters. "Look." Bob said, excited about finding a treasure chest. Before he could walk two steps, a boring generic monster attacked them.
Chapter Four
You're fighting a generic monster.
Bob attacks with his weapon. SPLAT! WHACK! BARF!
You gain 648 generic currency and a Fire Ring.
"Look, Alice, a Fire Ring." "Equip that on me, Bob." Bob did as he was told and the two of them opened the treasure chest. "It's just a stupid potion." "Drink it, Bob." Alice suggested. "You look fatally wounded." "Don't worry, Alice." Bob said, blood dripping from his heart. "As long as I have 1 HP it doesn't matter." Bob drank the potion and his wounds magically healed. Then they found the Red Demon. "Oh look, it's the boring Red Demon." Bob said as he won the fight single-handedly without breaking a sweat. Alice suddenly screamed. "Oh no, Bob. I'm dying." "DYING IS BAD!" Ivan screamed. Bob threw Alice into a Camera Engineering Furnace and walked back to the boring village. "Why didn't you use a Phoenix Down?" a generic NPC said. "I don't know. For some reason when they die in cut scenes it doesn't work. Plus she stole my fire ring."
We begin our story in a small village to the north of a forest. Closing in on a small house, we find a character named Bob. Bob was a fine young fellow, and he liked to go outside and take walks in the park. One day, in the midst of all of these relatively peaceful happenings, Bob discovered a forum called "Off-Topic". It was filled with threads of questionable quality, to which Bob attempted to create a new thread that would be better after seeing a challenge about making good threads. And this is what Bob wrote:
Chapter Two
Once there was a person named Bob, arbitrarily chosen to save the world by a magic talking voice. "Bob... you must find the four cliche crystals of fire, water, earth, and air..." "That sounds boring." Bob said as he went back to sleep. "If you don't then the world will end and you can't play osu! anymore." The voice said. "Oh god, it's worth it now." Bob said merrily. He went over to the air crystal and it started talking. "Now you can play as something other than a freelancer." it said. "That's boring." Bob said. "These are all the crappy jobs. Nobody likes playing as a ranger." "I know." the wind crystal said. "Why does everything talk to me?" Bob said to the crystal. "I don't know." the crystal said. "Now go off and start killing monsters." Bob switched his class to a black mage and found a slime. "Oh look, it's a boring slime." Bob said. So he killed it with a Fire spell. "Apparently, that gave me 7 experience points, whatever those are." "LISTEN!" an annoying butterfly danced up to Bob and screamed. "YOU KILL MONSTERS AND YOU GET THE POINTS AND THEN YOU GET STRONGER." "But that doesn't make any sense." Bob said. "NOTHING IN THIS STUPID GAME MAKES ANY SENSE!" the butterfly said, as they walked up to a large dungeon.
Chapter Three
"What's this dungeon doing here?" Bob asked. A girl called Alice walked up and responded to Bob's question. "Hello, Bob. I am the arbitrary white mage character. Aren't you excited to meet me? I also double a role as Ms. Fanservice and The Woobie. This dungeon is the property of the Red Demon, which poses a threat to our entire town of Boring." "Why are you speaking in weird colors, Alice?" Bob asked. "Any important things are in red text, like that butterfly near you, Ivan." "It's annoying, so I advise you should stop." Bob said. The two of them walked into the cave and walked through some boring monsters. "Look." Bob said, excited about finding a treasure chest. Before he could walk two steps, a boring generic monster attacked them.
Chapter Four
You're fighting a generic monster.
Bob attacks with his weapon. SPLAT! WHACK! BARF!
You gain 648 generic currency and a Fire Ring.
"Look, Alice, a Fire Ring." "Equip that on me, Bob." Bob did as he was told and the two of them opened the treasure chest. "It's just a stupid potion." "Drink it, Bob." Alice suggested. "You look fatally wounded." "Don't worry, Alice." Bob said, blood dripping from his heart. "As long as I have 1 HP it doesn't matter." Bob drank the potion and his wounds magically healed. Then they found the Red Demon. "Oh look, it's the boring Red Demon." Bob said as he won the fight single-handedly without breaking a sweat. Alice suddenly screamed. "Oh no, Bob. I'm dying." "DYING IS BAD!" Ivan screamed. Bob threw Alice into a Camera Engineering Furnace and walked back to the boring village. "Why didn't you use a Phoenix Down?" a generic NPC said. "I don't know. For some reason when they die in cut scenes it doesn't work. Plus she stole my fire ring."