so in order to tell you this i have to back to december of last year

during that time, an event in splatoon 3 called “big run” was happening which is an event meant to tie in with the salmon run mode of the game

basically it was when the salmon run stages were replaced by one stage in the main game, with it being wahoo world

my highest number of golden eggs (basically the things needed to pass each wave of the game) during that event was about 40 which will be relevant later

after the event ended, everyone was given a cosmetic to use in their locker (basically a customizable area that other people can see)

however, said cosmetic had special variants given to the people who had a certain high score, which were:
regular for participation
bronze for the top 50% of scores
silver for probably top 10%
gold for probably top 5%

the requirement for bronze was around 60, so i just got the regular one

shortly after the event was over, this video was posted:

(im not trying to view the person who made this video negatively btw)

while the line skip thing isn’t canon, it really made me think

some of the comments in the video make jokes about their scores (i.e. one guy said when he showed the staff he got bronze, the staff laughed at him and directed him to the kid rides)

but because of the fact that i didn’t even get a bronze i jokingly left a comment asking people to hate on me (nobody did btw)

the videos and the comments really made me think about how i fear incompetence, which was mainly because i suck at ranked

it also made me think about how much i compare myself to others, and how i feel like im judged negatively, which are also reasons i fear incompetence in general and it only made me feel more worthless

and with another big run happening right now, im pretty much feeling these feelings again

tl:dr i fear incompetence because of an event in splatoon 3, and i compare myself to others and thing people judge me negatively, also kinda because of splatoon

anyways sorry for venting here

"it also made me think about how much i compare myself to others, and how i feel like im judged negatively, which are also reasons i fear incompetence in general and it only made me feel more worthless "



I compare myself to others a lot as well.

I feel this. I basically can't play competitive or "small team" games because I think I'm gonna completely suck. I've stopped playing R6 Siege because my friend stopped playing, and that was the only way I could actually play because it took some of the pressure off.

I don't really feel it with games like Battlefield, because there's so many people on a team nobody's gonna notice if you crash a helicopter or something. But in games where my performance can make a big difference to the outcome of a game, There's more pressure.

It especially sucks because I find Siege fun when I'm actually playing it, but I can't bring myself to open the game lol. I also wanna get into Milsim games like Squad, but even though the teams are really big, you have to communicate with a smaller group of players (on mic too, which doesn't help because I can't talk to people lol).

I guess I think most people take games too seriously, and I'm afraid I'll be incompetent.